- 2 Total Posts
- Joined Feb 15th 2010
Hi there,
I am a 27 year old man who has achieved a net worth of several million dollars. Why might you ask then, have I turned to craigslist to find a mate? I shall explain, I hope you enjoy my story….
Growing up I was often considered one of the smarter children in my class. I’m not sure if that’s a compliment, as Iowa isn’t really your mecca of intellectuals or anything like that. I attended Iowa University, entering study towards a Bachelor’s degree in physics at the age of 16. I excelled, and went on to earn a PhD in theoretical nuclear physics by the age of 24. I immediately got a job at a nuclear power plant in the midwest where I made my millions. I have since moved to Calgary to act as a consultant for a firm (who shall remained unnamed) interested in bringing safe, viable nuclear power to Alberta.
Sounds good you say? Well I have had trouble meeting women in Calgary, and more importantly, I have received some troubling news. It turns out that at my old power plant there were some overlooked key safety issues. As such, all employees were exposed to EXTREMELY high levels of radiation. I have been asked to return to Iowa for testing and possible quarantine but I have declined to date.
I may be a danger to all those around me as I may be emitting harmful radiation. More frightening though is that my gametes have likely accrued multiple mutations…what does that mean? I can probably never have a normal child. Any progeny of mine will likely contain a multitude of deleterious mutations, they might have reduced mental ability, gruesome physical deformations, skin lesions etc. All of these are undesirable traits which may make what I’m about to ask even more unrealistic…
I AM LOOKING TO IMPREGNATE A WOMAN WITH MY SPERM. I WILL NOT BE AROUND TO BE A FATHER TO THE CHILD (I have to return to Iowa) BUT I WILL NEED PHOTOS TO TRACK HIS/HER DEVELOPMENT. I WILL RAISE MY SEED USING THE PHONE AND INTERNET
Why, you might ask, would a woman agree to let me get her pregnant, especially when I won’t be around? Well, there is a chance you might get one unaffected gamete, in which case you’re getting half the genetic material that created a doctoral level physicist by the age of 24. But perhaps even more exciting is the chance that (small chance) some of the radiation-induced mutations will result in an improved phenotype in our child. This is your chance to be a part of the first ever ‘X-men’. A genetically unique human with powers beyond the realm of those currently available to humanity. Maybe our child will have telekinetic ability, perhaps an ability to predict the future (Lotto Max will be out of business!). This child may be able to provide for you financially for the rest of our years. They may change the world, perhaps even the universe, truly the possibilities are endless! We are on the precipice of greatness (potentially) and that is something to get excited for!!
What I need from you,
I’ll need emails with pictures of you. If I like what I see you’ll get a reply. Also, include a paragraph or two about yourself and why you replied to my add. The selected woman and I will meet in a hotel in downtown Calgary where I will proceed to release my sperm into your fertile body. If you’d rather we do it artificial this will be considered as well.
