Once bitten, twice shy.
Shooting bald eagles, how will you use your tax refund?, writing off beverages, gas got real, revisiting the divorce of Nick and Jessica, pre-plasma, National Feminine Improvement Month, you can't go deep undercover with a Facebook page, the odds of dying in America, what's the deal with hydrating?, The Full Gospel Tabernacle in Jesus Name Brag Board, reunited in aggression, UYD's Cancelled TV Show of the Week, Game of MRI's, what's trending on myspace, white dudes exposing themselves, what to do in an active shooting situation, Official State Firearms, what to look for in home listings, Seth visits Adam Levine's installation, closeness in the doing, pussy prints in prison, and do worms have parents? Check it and follow.
Length
1:10:52
Intro
Antenne // Kraftwerk // Radio-Aktivität
Outro
International Player Anthom // Andre 3000
Seatbelts
1:06:48
This Week In Florida
41:58 – A Florida examination of police records from agencies that patrol Brevard County’s beach communities revealed that they had 141 cases of indecent exposure that have been reported in the last two years. 43 of the 44 suspects are described as middle-aged white men.
Myspace Person of the Week
39:28 – Welcome to the new Myspace. It’s been rebuilt, redesigned and reinvented – and it’s sponsoring this week’s episode of UYD. What’s trending? Everything Justin Timberlake.
What Seth Learned on the Monsterweb
44:24 – If you have an active shooter situation, this is what Seth read that you can do: 1) Run, Hide, Fight; 2) Get Out, Call Out, Hide Out, Keep Out, Take Out; and 3) Figure It Out, Get Out, Call Out, Hide Out, Spread Out, Keep Out, Take Out.
UYD Stories
16:16 – Seth wants to know if he stuck Jonathan in Beverly Hills High School right now, could he go undercover. Jonathan responds, “Are you our of your mind? As a teacher!?” 17:43 – Jonathan gets hit up for pot at bars all the time from older Jewish dudes from New York that are in town. 19:34 – Seth was eating soup once and reading an Entertainment Weekly. He could only find two of the staples in the publication and he was convinced that one of them went in the soup and he had eaten it. Seth once ate some vegan coconut curry dressing and it inflamed his whole face. Seth was convinced he was going into anaphylactic shock 51:15 – Seth went to see the Adam Levine fragrance installation (Episode 359, 18:52). He was there at 11:15 a.m. and there was no one there. When he stepped in, a cool guy and cool girl greeted him and asked him if he had any questions. One installation had spinning old-timey microphones, while another had a vintage Indian motorcycle alone in the room. There were fans blowing on undulating blankets. As Seth went from room to room, he had his top notes, his heart notes and his base notes. Seth was a big fan of the men’s fragrance, which included top notes violet leaf, mandarin, grapefruit, lemongrass and sage; heart notes fresh-cut ginger, CO2, guava leaves and passion fruit; and base notes cedar wood, sandalwood and amber. Jonathan claims that in Levine’s defense, neither of the scents smell dreadful.
UYD News
3:27 – The Arkansas Fish & Game Commission and the US Fish & Wildlife Service are investigating the shooting deaths of two bald eagles in Arkansas. The commission said the dead eagles were found south of Booneville in Logan County and bring to three the number of bald eagles found shot to death in the state in recent months. 12:08 – March is National Feminine Improvement Month. 12:56 – Some students at a northern Kansas high school might be feeling a little paranoid after a 22-year-old police officer spent nearly a month posing as a senior and gathering information about drug trafficking. Officer Levi Herring enrolled in the school as a part-time student under the name of Tom Anderson. He started classes on Jan. 7. He left a few weeks ago on Feb. 6. He was an active participant during school days and lunch but wasn’t seen much around other school activities. 24:44 – Pastor Gregory Jamie Kootz of the Full Gospel Tabernacle in Jesus Name Church is a snake handler in Kentucky. He gets pulled over for having tinted windows and they find snake cages with five snakes. He wanted them back, but is having a hard time because he was arrested in an undercover sting in 2008 called “Twice Shy.” 28:26 – A Columbia police officer who was fired has been reunited with the police dog that was his partner while on the force. When officer Ron Sanders was fired for excessive force in 2011, the Columbia City Council refused to let him buy the dog. Private citizens raised more than $10,000 to help him buy the dog but the city claimed the dog still had a future in the force. The dog was sold to the Clarence PD for $1 but was too aggressive for the small town and another officer bought the dog and brought him back to Sanders. 47:22 – Four states have an official firearm. Utah – the M1 911 pistol, Arizona – Colt Single-Action Army Revolver, Indiana – Grouseland Rifle, Montana – Winchester 1873.
Awesome Studies
4:43 – USA Today Snapshots – How will you use your tax refund? Save it – 47%, Pay off the debt – (not said), Spend it on necessities – 28%, Spend it on fun items – 15%, Invest it – 15%. 18:44 – The National Safety Council has released a report, “Death In America: The Odds of Dying in a Given Year Under Selected Circumstances.” Choking – 1 in 100,686; Falling Down the Stairs – 1 in 157,000; Lightning Strike – 1 in 10,495,684; Dying From Fireworks – 1 in 50,729,141. 48:45 – The word “beautiful,” “ocean views,” “mountain views” and “gated community” are among the most popular keywords used to advertise homes online to west coast home buyers, a recent study shows. Nationwide, “beautiful” was the most frequent word in listings last year, according to a study of 300,000 listings conducted by Point2Homes, an online listing and property data portal. “Hardwood floors” took second place, and “stainless steel appliances” came in third. 54:59 – The most frequent turning point in a father-daughter relationship is shared activity, especially sports. Ahead of such pivotal events as when a daughter marries or leaves the home, according to a study at Baylor University, the father becomes the primary playmate. This the masculine style of building closeness, called closeness in the doing, whereas feminine orientation is talking – closeness in the dialogue, said Mark T. Morman, Ph.D., a professor of communication in Baylor’s College of Arts and Sciences. An article about the findings by Morman and former Baylor graduate Elizabeth Barrett is published in the Journal of Human Communication. When asked what key experiences changed closeness in their relationships, fathers and daughters who were study participants mentioned events typical of those that help cement masculine relationships.
Letters to the Editor
57:47 – Playboy Magazine’s March 2013 Playboy Adviser: “In October, a reader wrote that he masturbated into a glass with a lipstick print on it. (Episode 342, 4:13) I have a somewhat similar situation. I am 25 but have spent only 6 months out of prison since I was 13, so my life experience is limited. Several of my female pen pals have, at my request, put lipstick on their labia and sent me a pussy print. Most prisons don’t allow inmates to receive nude images, so this feels like the best I’m going to get. The turn-on is knowing that if I were free, the woman would fuck me. I even placed my tongue against the prints because the lipstick had been on her pussy. Is this too extreme?” – M.R. from Miami, Fla.
Rants and Raves
23:52 – Jerry Seinfeld did some stand-up on Letterman this week, and Seth goes off on his act.
From the Archives
8:46 – People magazine from March 6, 2006, features “Jessica and Nick: Divorce Battle”
Canceled American TV Shows
30:46 – Wednesday nights, 10 p.m., Sept. 25, 2002 – two shows, different networks. Both medical shows. One lasted 14 episodes, one lasted eight. One was called Presidio Med on CBS, created by John Wells of ER. The other show was called M.D.s starring William Fichtner and Jane Lynch. Jonathan would rather have watched Presidio Med.