View Centenarians
19:22 – Betty Wilson, the second-oldest American at 115 years old, passes away. Seth doesn’t believe that the 116-year-old woman in Ecuador is for real
14:18 – Rehash of Betty Wilson dying and the Ecuadorian woman being a complete liar. Susie Potts Gibson just passed away; she was the third-oldest woman in the world and died three days after Betty in New Albany, Mississippi. This leaves 115-year-old Elizabeth Bolden of Memphis, Tenn. atop the U.S. leaderboard. Seth has sent Elizabeth a fresh batch of wheatgrass and has enrolled her in a Pilates class, with the hopes that she will last through 117
18:58 – 100-year-old woman claims she has the secret potion for longevity – beer. But Seth says, “Slow down bitch, you’re nowhere in the running. You haven’t found the secret to shit. Call me when you’re like 100, I might maybe meet you at the soup plantation and maybe entertain the thought you might live another year if I don’t kill you, because we’ve got other people to deal with.” … 112-year-old Marion Higgins passes away – was the oldest person living in California. With her passing, George Johnson of Richmond, Calif., is now the state’s oldest-living citizen
18:41 – A brief reference to the cheater in Ecuador and our friend in Tennessee. Seth: “Those two could go at any minute.”
28:47 – Stanley Kunitz, 100-year-old, former poet laureate served as official lightning rod for poetic impulses of Americans. Released a poetry book every 12 years, held this post twice before passing. Seth would like to propose that Jah be our nation’s new poet laureate
37:16 – South African woman is making boldly false statements that she is the world’s oldest person at 132 years old. Longest-living man of all time was a Japenese man in the mid-80s who was 120. … Oldest person in the world right now is a 116-year-old Ecuadorian woman – Maria Ester Dicapovilla, whom Jah and Seth do not believe. Tennessee woman Lizzie Bolden is 115 years old, oldest American living, born Aug. 15, 1890.
40:02 – Lizzie Bolden update – still alive; lying Ecuadorian woman passes away, so Lizzie is now on top at 116 years old. Jonathan verifies that the Ecuadorian woman died of AIDS. George Johnson, 112 years old, was the oldest Californian before dying on Wednesday. Emiliano Mercado Del Toro from Puerto Rico is the world’s oldest living man at 114, and UYD decides that he counts as an American too. Emma Tillman is oldest-living American, third-oldest person in the world, living in North Carolina. She was a servant for Katharine Hepburn
29:32 – Puerto Rican Emiliano Mercado del Toro, still holding strong at 114, has been listening to Uhh Yeah Dude for a while. He’s now the oldest person in the world because American Lizzie Bolden passed away on Monday. She had 7 children (two still alive). She had 40 grandchildren, 75 great-granchildren, 150 great-great grandchildren, 220 great-great-great grandchildren and 75 great-great-great-great grandchildren. Second-oldest person living is Julie Winifred Bertrand from Canada; she’s only one month younger than Del Toro
45:53 – Julie Winifred Bertrand passes away as the oldest woman in the world. New oldest woman in the world is Emma Tillman. When asked about the secret to her longevity, Emma points skyward and says “ask the man upstairs.” Del Toro from Puerto Rico is still the oldest dude in the world.
40:23 – Emiliano Mercado del Toro passes away this week. Emma Tillman is still kickin’ it. New title of world’s oldest living man goes to Japan’s Tomoji Tanabe, who was born Sept. 18, 1895. Oldest man in the U.S. is Antonio Pierro straight out of Boston – born Feb. 22, 1896. Once you hit 112, you’ve got about a week. Either that or once you’re mentioned on UYD, you’ve got 7 days left to live. Pierro’s birth certificate says he was born on Feb. 22, although he claims he was born Feb. 15. Seth: “Hey Tomoji, don’t eat bad sushi.”
53:27 – Jah discusses his statement about how UYD has a killing effect on old people. Emma Tillman died this week, within 90 hours of del Toro passing away. The new oldest person in the world is Yone Minagawa, born on Jan. 4, 1893. Seth says Yone will not see Valentine’s Day; he also warns Tomoji to watch it
21:51 – Bostonian Antonio Pierro passes away at 110 years old, just a week shy of his 111th birthday. Yone Minagawa is still the oldest person in the world. Edna Parker of Indiana is the oldest woman in the United States. Tomoji Tanabe is the oldest man in the world. Oldest man in the United States is 110-year-old Walter Breuning, born Sept. 21, 1896 – was a railroader most of his life, lives in Great Falls, Montana, wears a suit all the time and walks every day. Seth warns the Japanese to not eat bad sushi again
56:47 – Seth notes that UYD hasn’t talked about the oldest people in the world in a while, but the craziest part is that they’re all still alive: Yone Minagawa is still #1 at 114 years old. Oldest woman in the U.S. is 114-year-old Edna Parker in Indiana. Second oldest American is another woman from Indiana, Bertha Fry. On Edna’s 114th birthday in April, she met Bertha at Edna’s nursing home, they set a world record for the highest combined age of two people meeting. Oldest man in the world is still Tomoji Tanabe. Oldest man in America is George Rene Francis (111 years old) from California. Francis saw Babe Ruth play in person, quit school in the sixth grade and smoked cigars until he was 75, never saw a doctor. Jah declares Francis the “patron saint of UYD”
11:30 – Yone Minagawa, the world’s oldest living person, passes away in Japan, meaning USA reclaims the throne. Edna Parker, born 4 months after Miss Minagawa (April 20, 1893), living in the Heritage House Convalescent Home in Indiana, 114 years old. At the same home, Sandy Allen, the world’s tallest woman, lives there
12:36 – Jonathan comes across photos of Yone Minagawa’s last birthday and starts to cry: “She was so fucking cute. I felt like I was being anti-American by how much I wished Minagawa was still our lady. … I wanted to die. And I didn’t want her to die.”
54:35 – UYD missed an old woman that died. Bertha Fry from Indiana passed away Nov. 14, 2007. She was less than 3 weeks from her 114th birthday. Seth: “She couldn’t cut it.”
55:01 – Old person update: Edna Parker is still the oldest person in the world, and was born on 4-20. No. 2 is a woman in Portugal, a few months younger than Edna. Third-oldest person is an African American woman named Arbella Ewing, who lives in Dallas – positive thinking has kept her alive. Seth tells people not to touch them or sneeze on them so they can stay alive. Oldest man in the world – Tamoji Tanabe (112) in Japan; oldest American man is George Rene Francis (111), who lives in Sacramento and says “smokin’ don’t hurt nobody.” Seth found a YouTube clip of Francis eating ribs at his last birthday. Seth thinks Tamoji will drop before him, but Jah doesn’t like to place bets on it anymore because he felt so guilty after he saw a clip of Yone Minagawa. Jah claims they were never lovers
58:01 – Arbella Ewing, the second-oldest American, passed away. Edna Parker, who will be 115 on Sunday, April 20, is still No. 1. No. 2 is Maria DeJesus from Portugal. The new No. 3 is Gertrude Baines, who will turn 114 on April 6. She lives at the Western Convalescent Home in Los Angeles. Seth thinks it would be appropriate if UYD could visit her and celebrate her birthday together. Jah imagines that it possibly could happen
0:53 – Gertrude Baines had her 114th birthday on Sunday, April 6, and Jonathan and Seth went to the Western Convalescent Home to visit her. Jonathan brought flowers, Seth brought a teddy bear. There was a breakdown in communication and no one was expecting them, so Jah got flustered, but Seth was emotionally invested and prepared. They explain that they do “the greatest internet radio show in the world” and get escorted to the 2nd floor of the convalescent home by a 6-year-old boy named Stephen. They spot a woman in a wheelchair in the middle of the hallway staring at a wall with balloons tied to the wheelchair – Jah gets a little heartbroken at the sight. Seth was concerned that if Jah let his hair down she would assume he is Jesus and fall into his arms. She had just gotten back from church and Jah proceeds to ask her this and she gets annoyed at him, snapping at him a couple times and asking why he kept saying the same thing over and over. Jah: “She fucking hated me.” Jah assumed she was at an age in the 60s where she grew to hate hippies and pictured Jah as a gross hippie. Seth used a high-pitched friendly voice, which worked, and kept hugging black women and saying “God bless you.” Miss Bell, one of the employees at the convalescent home, took a photo for UYD with a disposable camera. Seth returned to the home on Thursday morning to pick up the photo and was well-received. He looked the same way he did during Episode 100, shaky and nervous. Jah felt shitty the rest of the day, while Seth felt so alive to be in her presence. Jah says that he expected Baines to be little and frail, but she had big hands, big feet and a big head … Edna Parker turns 115 on Sunday. The woman in Portugal is 114 as well.
38:56 – Seth says that if UYD meets Gertrude Baines they can meet the Pope. Jah thinks the Pope would hate Seth as much as Gertrude Baines hated Jah. Jah then recreates Seth’s high-pitched “God bless you!” voice that Seth kept using during the visit to the convalescent home. Seth admits it, but says it worked. He had a staff of middle-aged nurses loving him. Jah says Seth worked in between 15-25 “God bless yous”
9:53 – Seth says that if Gertrude Baines were behind him in line at the supermarket, he would let her go ahead of him in line and would buy her her goods
38:24 – Jah brings up the friend of UYD, Gertrude Baines, the world’s oldest African American, the second-oldest person in the USA and the third-oldest person in America. Her quote this week: “I didn’t never think I’d live this long,” after casting her vote for Barack Obama.
46:17 – Edna Parker, the world’s oldest woman, has died. The second-oldest person in the world is now Gertrude Baines. The oldest person in the world is Maria de Jesus of Portugal
10:30 – Seth retells the story about he and Jonathan going to visit Gertrude Baines on her 114th birthday (Ep. 112), when at the time she was the third-oldest person in the world. Now that Maria de Jesus has passed away on Jan. 2 and after Edna Parker’s death (Ep. 144), Gertrude is now the oldest person in the world and Jonathan and Seth are proud to be friends with her. Jah says that during this visit, Seth said “God Bless You!” in his lady voice 6 times. He said it worked 5 out of 6 times and the other time was great but didn’t have the same effect as the others. Seth recalls that when they left the convalescent home, Seth expressed his desire for Maria de Jesus to die. They can’t wait until her 115th birthday party
54:54 – Seth goes back to Gertrude Baines being the oldest person in the world. He gives us a little information on her: she was born in Shellman, Ga., and lives in the backyard of the studio. Seth says all friends of UYD are friends of Ms. Baines
1:09:07 – Seth expresses his undying love for Gertrude Baines, and can’t comprehend how, on April 6, 1894, this beautiful baby would be brought on this earth and now she’s the oldest person ever
31:48 – Seth’s reality show idea – “So You Think You’re Gertrude Baines” – a reality show about old people who get hooked up with people trying to get them to live longer. Jah and Seth would be Gertrude’s point men, obviously
20:28 – There was a picture of Gertrude Baines in Sunday’s paper of her looking for Seth’s teddy bear that he gave to her. One of the bears in her teddy bear community is wearing a bedazzled UYD t-shirt
3:42 – A woman named Tuti Yusupova, living in a remote village in Uzbekistan, is claiming that she’s 128 years old. Seth is disappointed that dear old Gertrude Baines has to wake up in the morning to these false reports. The oldest woman in history was a French woman named Jeanne Calment, who died at age 122
27:01 – Seth explains UYD’s relationship with Gertrude Baines, and celebrating her 115th birthday with her last year (Episode 112, 0:53). This year they were trying to figure out what to do because Gertrude has since become the oldest person in the world. UYD got Gertrude a gift, which they won’t reveal what it is. Jah slept in and Seth went over to her old folks home solo. It was straight pandemonium, Seth was doing his high-pitched thing, saying “God Bless You” to everyone. Seth gets in there and calls Jonathan. He’s in the nurse’s station telling Jah to abort the mission. Jah calls Gertrude an “ungrateful bitch” for not giving UYD carte blanche this year like they had in 2008. Seth walks by a kid wearing a vest singing Leona Lewis’ “Bleeding Love” to a group of people waiting for her to get pushed down. Seth never saw Gertrude in the hour he was there roaming the halls
25:00 – Seth takes a moment to eulogize somebody very dear to UYD nation – Gertrude Baines passed away at her home, the West Adams Convalescent Center in Los Angeles, on Sept. 11, 2009 at age 115. UYD has been with her since her 114th birthday (Episode 112, 0:53) and Seth came back during the media frenzy of her 115th birthday (Episode 161, 27:01). Out of deference to UYD’s dear friend, Seth doesn’t give a fuck who the oldest person in the world is any more, because Gertrude truly was a friend. Seth’s new jam is the world’s smallest person.