View Episode 004
Originally aired 03.04.06
5:40 – Black-White on F/X is the TV Pick of the Month. Other reality shows premiering this week: Lil’ Kim’s Countdown To Lockdown on BET; Top Chef on Bravo, hosted by Billy Joel’s wife; Cheerleader Nation on Lifetime; Eighth and Ocean on MTV (models in Miami); Miracle Workers – Home Edition for Medical Maladies; Pros Vs. Joes on Spike TV; and I Love Toys top 100 countdown on VH1; and (not reality but) Joey is back on Tuesday night. To take it old school, on Monday morning March 6, 5:30 a.m. on WGN, you get a Happy Days with Tom Hanks playing a karate instructor, you go back to bed and at 9:30 a.m. on TV Land you get the 1969 pilot episode of The Brady Bunch, entitled “The Honeymoon.”
38:43 – VH1’s Supergroup began filming on Wednesday: Ted Nugent, Sebastian Bach, Scott Ian, Jason Bonham and Evan Seinfeld. Jah: “Jason Bonham’s the worst. Scott Ian – whatevs. Sebastian Bach is awesome, but in a if-you-interviewed-the-old-American-Gladiators-sort-of-way. And Ted Nugent is the worst. I don’t know who Evan Seinfeld is.”
32:12 – STP (stand to pee) devices
23:22 – OUT: H5N1. IN: Staph Infection
27:45 – T-Pain - “Studio Love” – Jonathan sings lyrics (after singing “I’m in Luv Wit a Strippa”) (not dictated until 29:17)
29:58 –John Corbett – “Good To Go;” Peter Gallagher – 7 Days In Memphis (album); Rick Moranis – The Agoraphobic Cowboy (album)
26:19 – Seth’s real estate agent, Doug, shows a house to MTV’s Gideon Yago and Frankie Muniz
55:46 – 7-year-old girl brought cocaine to her second-grade classroom and passed it around
2:23 – Someone came up to Jonathan yesterday, knowing that he’s a dog person, asking “Have you seen Eight Below? I mean, for dog lovers, it is so good.” Jonathan says that’s impossible because there’s no way Paul Walker could pull that off
13:52 – Jah goes to friend’s office while waiting on ’87 Buick Grand National; as he’s telling his friend the story, guy walks up to him and rudely interrupts him to ask where the bathroom is; interrupter turns out to be guy whose Grand National made Jah want to get one five years prior. Jah: “How crazy is that?! How crazy is that?” Seth’s reply: “John Cusack. Kate Beckinsale. Serendipity.” (16:08)
24:33 – Jonathan’s Mother Crab story – Jah’s buddy makes another guy go in the bathroom with a flashlight & tweezers, and shut off all the other lights to try to find the mother crab in his pubic hair so he can make all the other crabs jump off
45:27 – Jah begins to delve into getting grifted, talking about being sent creepy fake PayPal e-mails, then tries to explain Nigerian e-mail scams
53:14 – The last time Seth went to SuperCuts, his gay black stylist, DeVon, was mildly perspiring and just hacking away at his hair. Now he goes to a woman named Rose, who is the greatest. Jah gets his hair cut in Echo Park
9:47 – There was a car accident that transpired last week in Los Angeles. It occurred on the PCH in Malibu and involved an Enzo Ferrari – which costs between $600,000 and $1 million. The car hit a telephone pole and got cut in half, while the telephone pole flipped over 180 degrees and was hanging by its own wires. The driver, Stephone, claimed he wasn’t the driver of the car, but he was. It turns out he was racing against a Mercedes SLR. Stephone’s story is that he’s a failed video game inventor that made a racing game. Now here he is in real life racing at 162 miles per hour. He came out of it with nothing but a cut lip. Eight days later, we find out that Scotland Yard is investigating a claim that a bank claims to own the Enzo, a Gloc gun cartridge was found at the scene that they’re trying to tie to him, and “Homeland Security officials” arrived at the scene to investigate him. They were found out to work at a transit company in the San Gabriel Valley that is a front for some kind of illegal operation that they haven’t figured out what it is.
41:18 – Kevin Garnett story – threw ball into stands and barely hit a fan; apologizes to man; man pretends to be seriously injured and gets carried out of arena in a stretcher
47:04 – Dr. Louis Gottschalk (not Louis Gossett Jr.), a renowned psychiatrist at UC-Irvine, was duped into squandering $1.3 million of his family’s fortune in a Nigerian internet scam. He traveled to Nigeria and began meeting with people called “The General” and other Nigerians to let them know he was serious about getting the money.
56:43 – Flight attendant on Virgin Atlantic flight screamed at the top of her lungs “We’re going to crash! We’re going to crash! We’re going to crash!” after the plane experienced some turbulence
1:10 – Seth wants to know who the girl is on the LiveLinks commercial
35:04 – Jah admits that he doesn’t always stand to pee
37:27 – Seth hopes the girl from LiveLinks is named Sarah
51:08 – Seth goes over backmasking
58:34 – Seth still begging for the name of the LiveLinks girl
46:10 – Taiwanese people may be dirty scam artists