View Episode 012
Originally aired 05.01.06
55:35 – (more regular TWIF intro) Mayor of Hollywood, FL., gets purse stolen at gas station; David Copperfield uses sleight of hand to avoid getting mugged; boater finds human head in ocean; woman in wheelchair swinging knives gets shot with taser and dies; creepy man lures boy into car and fondles him; etc.
39:39 – KWC faucet – LED lights indicate hot/cold water
46:02 – OUT: Sumo. IN: Competitive Gaming
42:28 and 44:38 – Rick Ross – “Hustlin’” (first one for Jah to read)
43:45 – George Strait – “The Seashores of Old Mexico”
28:08 – While at the Beverly Center, Seth spots Daniel Powter and Chris Klein laughing and slapping in a bookstore
Games That Jonathan and Seth Play
15:13 – Kentucky Derby ’06 (Seth makes up game off the cuff)
1:29 – TCAP 4 recap. Jah: It’s Predator Nation.” Seth: “Oh my bad, my zipper fell down. It’s a zipper! It can’t fall! Hey I just came here to party. And by party you mean have sex with a 12-year-old girl?!” (3:48) …. Jah: “If you took every single potential sexual predator they busted in this show and took the man hours they spent chatting in their entire life, it wouldn’t equate to a week of the time that Perverted Justice spends on those fucking websites chatting and looking for those sexual prejudice. Perverted Justice is exactly right – it is perverted. And I like it.” (5:58)
9:30 – Of 9,300, they busted 1,100 dudes … 12-year-old girl sounds exactly like a 12-year-old dude. Jah: “If I was on my way to have sex with a 13-year-old girl and I saw a 15-year-old boy snowboarder waving me in, I’d be pissed.”
12:37 – Jah gets busted at the drycleaners stealing A&W root beer candies from the tray
21:05 – Jah gets an e-mail from his mother about the show in reference to Episode 11: Seth was on fire. … Stop saying that gay parents cannot adopt white babies, and say you’re sorry, even if you aren’t, to all non-white babies. … I never put liquor in your bottle – you wish. … Your sister did indeed receive a diagnosis of bubonic plague in high school.
31:25 – Jonathan’s Sidekick/Blackberry/Orphan story using a ringtone as a substitute for the Asian guy’s name. Jah jokes about calling dude’s parents to test out the phone, and dude’s co-worker says he’s an orphan. “How much can your dad bench-press?”
54:10 – Seth’s story about a big buff black dude walks into his work after coming out of an MR-2, comes in to buy some stuff. Woman leaves before him: Hey, how ’bout that tail that just left?
19:03 – Charlie Sheen took a portrait of his wedding day, spray-painted DUMBEST DAY OF MY LIFE and then took a chainsaw to it
50:05 – Gas prices are so high in L.A. that dudes are purposely running out of gas so the courtesy trucks will pull up and give them a gallon
16:33 – UYD has fallen behind The Star Wars Chronicles podcast but just took over Manic Mommies
11:37 – Seth rails Taco Bell for their “Fourthmeal” campaign. Jah: “All a guy needs to be happy is shelter, clothes, and four square meals a day. Isn’t that the old adage?”
19:23 – Jah and Seth rip Charlie Sheen for smoking crack and boning down on prostitutes, then leaving a message on his wife’s answering machine where he calls her a “nigger”
50:05 – Seth going off on people griping about price of gas and stamps
53:20 – Seth rips into Burning Man fruits, namely the one at work who asks him if he’s going: “I don’t know, are you dude? You’re like 58. Are you going to Burning Man?!”
34:15 – Jah: “Let’s call him Ching Chong Chinaman.”
38:16 – Jah: “I thought they only threw girls away.”