View Episode 052
Originally aired 02.19.07
1:01:48
43:00 – Spike TV teams up with IFOCE to broadcast 4 events
21:51 – Bostonian Antonio Pierro passes away at 110 years old, just a week shy of his 111th birthday. Yone Minagawa is still the oldest person in the world. Edna Parker of Indiana is the oldest woman in the United States. Tomoji Tanabe is the oldest man in the world. Oldest man in the United States is 110-year-old Walter Breuning, born Sept. 21, 1896 – was a railroader most of his life, lives in Great Falls, Montana, wears a suit all the time and walks every day. Seth warns the Japanese to not eat bad sushi again
57:00 – Woman puts 7 people in hospital after driving into DMV; etc.
54:07 – A) Grandma puts knife to grandson’s throat; B) 84-year-old foster grandma screws 11-year-old grandson
28:10 – 3D HD television
36:52 – IN: Earlobe lifts.
34:14 – Mike Jones – “Mr Jones” (not spoken until 36:05; call MJ – 281-330-8004)
33:00 – Brooks & Dunn – “Hillbilly Deluxe”
46:07 – California inmate now in Tennesse in a promo video to other former inmates: “You get 79 channels here, including ESPN. Get here! This is where it’s at!”
2:11 – Murphy, TX recap. Jonathan finally manages to watch TCAP in its entirety. … Man was missing a finger, shaking violently, but apparently was just waiting for the mother to get home. When Dr. Hansen asks him how old he is, he stumbles and says “46… 49,” but he’s 52. … 63-year-old fat bespeckled dude rolls in with a small spiked O-ring taint stimulator that he claims he bought at an office supply store. Seth: "I have a tendency to be funny. No you don’t, you have a tendency to be fucking creepy!” He also had several Chuck-E-Cheese tokens. … 54-year-old teacher comes to bone down on a 13-year-old boy. … Two decoys this week: still the female decoy that looks like Jack Osborne. Jonathan: “That girl is so mung. … If I wanted to fuck a 14-year-old and I showed up, I would probably pass.” (6:10). … “ I would fuck the boy decoy silly.” (7:01)
58:26 – Seth: “We’re going to get you in Texas and then we’re going to get you the next two Tuesdays in Florida.”
1:32 – Jah saw a dude today wearing a t-shirt that said I’M NOT AN ALCOHOLIC. I’M A DRUNK. DRUNKS GO TO MEETINGS.
1:53 – Seth saw a bumper sticker on a back of a pickup truck today that said COWBOY BUTTS DRIVE ME NUTS. “Get er dun!!!”
23:54 – Seth saw Eddie Feigner pitch at Haverhill Stadium when he was a boy. Saw him get blindfolded at second base and kneel down and throw a strike across the plate
48:15 – Seth saw Con Air at the Cineramadome, got home that night and he and his roommate John Buckley had to throw out their crystal meth roommate, a redhead Irish girl from Chicago. “I had to take her shit and throw it out of my house. What are skis doing in my closet?!”
12:16 – The Whale Man is busted in New Jersey. He goes around to middle schools and assemblies and teaches the kids about whales. On his website he has a whale t-shirt, big glasses and a beret. Known all over New Jersey, Connecticut, Pennsylvania, New York. Neighbor calls NJ state troopers to tell them he’s got mad weed growing at his house – ends up having 192 pot plants. They tell him they need to bring him in for questioning. Whale Man says he has to get contact info off his computer, and state trooper sees a photo of a whale head and a kid’s prick and body – Whale Man tries to pour Tang on computer – dude had 400+ images of child porn on the computer. Quotes from teachers on Whale Man’s website: Whale Man, you truly know children and know how they enjoy you. … Whale Man, you certainly have a unique talent for kids. … Whale Man, I was impressed with your ability for making the children proud of their curiosity. Seth: “Ask, believe, receive, six months in prison.”
17:22 – “Pint for a Pint” – college students donating blood, then taking money and drinking and letting it get through the bloodstream faster and getting wasted
19:15 – To save energy, Congress has changed Daylight Savings from the first Sunday in April to the second Sunday in March. Seth calls it a “Mini Y2K” that could cripple the world for up to 6 seconds – which means nothing will happen, just like during Y2K, when Seth fled California for Abiquiu, N.M.
23:46 – Eddie Feigner passes away at 81 – started the original King and his Court 4-man softball team that Seth’s father took him to see when he was a boy. They played more than 11,000 games and won more than 10,000. His fast-pitch softball was one of the top 10 of all time according to ESPN. Fastest ball he threw clocked in at 104 mph
39:48 – Tours at zoos all about animal sex (“Jungle Love”- NYC, “Woo at the Zoo” – San Francisco)
46:13 – 380 California inmates have voluntarily moved to other for-profit prisons. 7,000 will be forcibly moved by the summer. Inmates scheduled for deportation are the first to go, most violent will be next and people with the fewest visitors are next.
51:21 – Guy bidding on Price Is Right Showcase Showdown: “250,000. … oh wait, I mean, $60,000”
0:17 – Ask, believe, receive: It’s The Secret.
26:16 – Seth: “That’s the circle of life. Hakuna matata. What does hakuna matata mean?” Jonathan: “The circle of life.”
38:45 – Seth and Jonathan rip the blind people
44:16 – S & J hammer Carson Daly, who’s celebrating his 5 years on the air
9:32 – Jonathan talks about Middle Eastern peeds having a moral disconnect to what they’re doing