View Episode 062
Originally aired 04.30.07
1:02:55
54:20 – UYD: Brought to you by ExtenZe
46:42 – Thursday night, May 3, 8 p.m. on NBC – My Name Is Earl season finale is a Laugh-n-Sniff episode during which NBC will prompt you when to scratch your corresponding card; British paranormal TV show Most Haunted is going to do a séance for Hannibal, the deceased George Peppard
54:41 – Accused shoplifter claims she has IBS; man arrested on front lawn skinning alligator; woman shows her 5-year-old neighbor her cans; Clearwater man trying not to pay alimony to ex-wife because she had a sex change; etc.
9:03 – Emotives has put out a push ringer, which enables a caller to push an outgoing ringtone to the receiving phone, allowing the caller – not the called person – to set the ringtone, temporarily overriding someone’s tone. If the recipient likes it, they can buy it
50:20 – IN: Face yoga
26:27 – USDA feat. Young Jeezy – “White Girl” (not spoken until 27:26)
28:19 – Kenny Chesney – “Summertime”
Games That Jonathan and Seth Play
17:27 – Kentucky Derby preview – Jonathan gets 2 of 10 correct
22:45 – Jonathan says he’ll do a Grateful Dead tunes game for Seth next week
5:31 – While Seth is doing pre-pro, Jonathan accidentally calls Seth while his Blackberry is in his pocket and he is talking to someone about his identity theft problems, etc. Seth also explains that Jonathan is one of those tailenders who finishes up a conversation with another dude and then comes in to the current phone conversation. After 10 seconds Seth realizes he isn’t tailending it, he accidentally called.
7:08 – Jah had accidentally dialed Seth when Jah was in the middle of a full therapy session. Jah heard a tiny little voice coming from his crotch area and panicked. Seth could hear crying from the Jah-man
11:00 – CVS overexposes film from Seth’s disposable cameras. Seth is pissed that he loses 27 phenomenal photographs. Jonathan thinks that Seth is one of 3 people still in that world who develop disposable camera film. He thinks the CVS people aren’t even trained to handle the machines. (12:11)
14:18 – On Mondays Seth goes to his supermarket and reads his Newsweek. It doesn’t get delivered to his house until Tuesday but it’s on newsstands on Monday, which makes him furious. He reads it in the Pavilion on Melrose by the bathroom
16:48 – Seth was at Sunset Junction last year and there were people getting chiropractic work done there
1:42 – Seth follows up on Turner County HS integrated prom. Female student who couldn’t go: “My mommy and daddy don’t agree with being with the colored people.”
22:59 – Mike Penner – “Old Mike, New Christine”
30:04 – On June 3, more than 2,000 guitarists will gather at Community America Ballpark in Kansas City for the longest ensemble performance of Deep Purple’s “Smoke On The Water.” Guiness will be on hand to see if it beats the 1993 record of 1,300 guitarists in Vancouver
34:30 and 35:01 – Follow-up on “The Rainbow Game,” a.k.a. “Taste the Rainbow” or “Secret Rainbow” (Rainbow cookie recipe makes Seth nearly vomit live)
40:52 – Toledo Mudhens outfielder Shin-Soo Choo was booed because his name was similar to the VT shooter, Seung-Hui Cho
52:41 – Things getting worse for Joe Francis – he’s now being sued by an 18-year-old for groping her at the Geisha House
0:14 – Next week’s show will be done on Thursday and available on Friday
3:19 – Jonathan gets heat for the homeless comment: “Hey man – what’s your problem with homeless people? That’s not funny.”
10:23 – A lot of listeners chime in about knowing “Our God Is An Awesome God” and saying it was the jam
13:25 – Seth can’t stand Jonathan discarding index cards on the floor of the UYD studio and feels compelled to walk over, pick it up and put it in its proper place for archiving purposes. Seth says it’s because he’s not used to the show being recorded on Thursday night
14:10 – Jah talks about the new blood pressure machines being the grossest thing ever. “It just feels like an oddly compromised position to put yourself in in public view.” It’s the same people who lay in massage chairs and get their germs all over them. The only things Jah is down with are the public take-a-nap places you can rent in Japan
30:25 – The first song Jah learned on the guitar was “Heard It Through The Grapevine”
33:23 – Seth can’t believe that Famous Amos and Mrs. Fields fucked
44:46, 54:02 and 59:07 – Seth and Jonathan talk about Xtenz infomercial: “BIGGER!”
51:20 – Sting can do tantric face yoga to where his face cums for an hour straight. Seth: “Why is Sting’s face cumming for so long?”
31:38 – UYD’s awful predictions segment. Ken Olson, President & Founder of the Digitial Equipment Corporation in 1977: “There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.” Harry Warner of WB, 1927: “Who the hell wants to hear actors talk.” Rejection letter to Mrs. Fields: “A cookie store is a bad idea. America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy ones like the ones you make.” Music executive at Deca Records in rejection letter to The Beatles: “We don’t really like their sound and guitar music is on the way out.”
38:02 – James Filiaggi: “When the Browns are in the Superbowl in the next five years, you’ll know I’m up there doing my magic.”
11:45 – Seth hammers CVS dudes who ruined his photos: “It’s a photograph! Isn’t by nature it important that you’ve decided to duplicate life. It’s just two months of me driving around my city and just snapping life – done. … I’ll just get those back. I’ll get the man assless from behind with a Jesus sign – I’ll get that back, don’t worry.” Jah agrees that it all ends with CVS
14:35 – Seth goes off on people who use bathrooms at the supermarket and check their blood pressure at the supermarket
34:47 and 37:30 – Seth: “Everybody just get in the missionary position and quit being fucking sick! … Can’t we just go to church like normal people?”
39:10 – Seth is furious at Bernard McGuirk for the statement he said on Nov. 2, 2005, when he said about Antonin Scalia: “…that meatball-sucking wop. First Scalia, now Aleto. What’s President Bush doing? Interpreting the constitution or making concrete?”
52:03 – Jonathan lashes back at people who accuse him of smoking herb on the show