View Episode 065
Originally aired 05.18.07
1:04:27
13:26 – ABC did pick up Cavemen, Tuesday nights, 8 p.m.; also Tuesday nights, 10 p.m. on ABC, Boston Legal returns with a twist – featuring John Larroquette; this week, Saturday night, VH1, The Last Days of Left Eye, a documentary chronicling the last days of Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes.
21:44 – Attorney generals urge Anheuser Busch to issue warnings about mixing alcohol with caffeinated energy drinks like Spikes Shooter Energy Drink
24:04 – Heated glass towel warmer revealed at Kitchen & Bath Industries Show in Las Vegas
56:39 – Exercise Bulemia: Seth thinks about exercise so much that he is constantly burning calories. He’s on the elliptical machine nonstop and needs to have his cardio tracked. His weight is down to a manageable 190 pounds
42:26 – Brother Ali – “Star Quality” (not spoken until 43:26)
44:35 – Tim McGraw – “Don’t Take The Girl”
Games That Jonathan and Seth Play
52:39 – Preakness horses – Jonathan goes 0 for 5
23:08 – Teens in Colorado are eating up a plant that looks like sage – called wormwood. They’re calling it the “green fairy” and saying it has psychoactive properties
26:51 – Seth stopped doing drugs because he did so many that if he did any sort of real drug one more time, he would never, ever come back to reality: “If you slipped me a hit of acid, I would wake up in Peru and have a different name and be a fisherman.”
0:55 – Bank of America guy on phone with Seth tells him to “wait until the witching hour” for his transaction to post
2:04 – Seth is at The Dressing Room in Sherman Oaks (5 ingredients of a salad free, then 0.65 for each extra ingredient), where he goes in under the alias ‘Jack.’ Never thought he’d get a better celeb there than Jessica Simpson. He’s there on Tuesday when in walks Jamie Luner, then Heather Langenkamp walks in and they’re talking (both were in Just The 10 Of Us)
6:42 – Jonathan talks about going onto JeffBridges.com and reading the weirdo Brit posters on the message board
24:43 – Last summer, Seth punched the wall and screamed at Mother Nature because of how hot it got for a six-day stretch in L.A.
27:40 – Seth’s story about going to Rose Bowl Flea Market, seeing Jason Schwartzman in an Oxford shirt and khaki shorts. Sees a lot of tan people with yin-yang tattoos. Dude selling open used VHS movies – Metro and Little Nicky, 2 for $5. Nazi necklaces - $15. Jonathan would go there and buy all kinds of dremel bits that he’ll never use
33:46 – Seth goes to the set of The Half Hour News Hour to watch his friend Kurt Long tape the show and do rehearsal, etc. Seth is eating Cheetos and there’s a weird jittery dude eyeballing him, Seth kind of ignores him. Two other dudes were working on a cable and were going to cut it but didn’t have a knife. Jittery dude goes “Neither one of you guys have knives? You’re obviously not married!” Seth looks at Kurt, who explains that it’s the warm-up guy and he’s the worst ever, that he told a joke about NSync working at Burger King and saying “Fries Fries Fries!” Seth runs back down to the set to hear the dude telling some of his wack jokes: What’s your name? Matt? I got one of you on my front porch? Jim – snap into a Slim Jim. Bob? Jim, Bob – Hey Jim Bob, I married my cousin! … Did you see the news today – they actually captured Osama Bin Laden. He was hiding behind Angelina Jolie’s lips! Seth observes that there is another thing sitting in the crowd that they don’t know where it’s a man or a woman. Jokes continue: I almost didn’t get here, I drive a Ford Tortoise. It goes 0 to 60.. eventually. I used to drive a Dodge Neon. You know why they call it a Neon? Knee on the wheel, knee on the dash, etc.
40:39 – Jah also used to see several wack warm-up dudes when he would go to tapings of Night Court. They would figure out who Jah was and he was automatically the volunteer
20:55 – Rights to domain name porn.com sells this week for $9.5 million. In 1997 it sold for $47,000. Sex.com sold for $11 million, still holding the record. (Uhh Yeah Dude sold for $43)
25:30 – Dearborn, MI cop takes weed off suspects, makes pot brownies with wife and loses his shit, calls 911: Cop: I think I’m having an overdose and so is my wife. Operator: OK, you and your wife. An overdose of what? Cop: Marijuana. I don’t know if it had something in it. Operator: How much did you have? Cop: I don’t know. We made brownies and I think we’re dead. Time is going by really, really, really slow. Operator: OK, well I’m on the phone with you. Cop: What’s the score of the Red Wings game? Operator: What? Cop: What’s the score of the Red Wings game? Operator: I’ve got no clue. I don’t watch the Red Wings. Cop: OK, I just want to make sure it isn’t some hallucination I’m having.
54:40 – Massachusetts guy sneaks into brother’s girlfriend’s bed and bones down – gets off scot-free
57:26 – High school track coach in Scottsdale, Arizona, tells 17-year-old female athlete to come over to his house to get an “athletic massage.” Except the oil he uses turns out to be his own semen
14:19 – Seth thinks he and Jonathan should be cast on Cavemen playing bi-curious radio DJs who live next door to the cavemen
15:54 – Jah wants his dad to go on Conan and somehow work in a UYD plug
22:34 – Seth takes a swig of his Diet Coke Plus: “That’s vitamins and minerals.”
48:29 – Jonathan ponders, why do people laugh when babies cry?
50:49 – Most popular babies names: girl’s name at lowest level since 1950s? Katrina.
1:00:04 – UYD does an hour-long show. The first show they did that they never uploaded was 3 hours long; the second show was 22 minutes long. They decided to split the difference. Seven of their shows didn’t air.
1:01:01 – Jonathan gets feedback on new show upload time from listener Sonny, lying on the beach watching a fisherman and listening to UYD – loving the new UYD vibe
12:48 – Jah and Seth hammer JeffBridges.com and the monsterweb