View Episode 077
Originally aired 08.11.07
1:03:03
8:34 – UYD: Can’t/Won’t
51:57 – UYD: So much cooler online
56:27 – VH1, Monday nights, 9 p.m., The Pickup Artist. Mystery teaches us with his protoges J-Dog and Matador. … Sunday night, Comedy Central, The Roast of Flavor Flav. … Friday night, High School Musical 2 on The Disney Channel. 4 million copies of the soundtrack sold in the U.S., 160 million total viewers, Part 3 will be coming out in movie theaters later this year. … National Geographic Channel series Taboo shows “Initiation Rituals” and “Skin Deep.” … Man vs. Wild was having its host, Bear Grylls, stay in Ritz Carlton hotels
0:43 – Seth and J-dog crack open a can of Cocaine
9:50 – Seth and Jonathan’s throats feel like they’ve been casually been snorting cocaine since 7:30 p.m.
15:28 – Alfred and Laura hooked them up with the Cocaine
15:37 – When Seth was pouring Jonathan’s Monster Chaos down the sink last week, the fumes left him slightly nautious
16:40 – The Cocaine starts to take effect in just 16 minutes. Jah and Seth are straight up freaking out at this point.
54:10 – Jah and Seth are crashing from the Cocaine – all Jah wants to do now is beat off and go to bed
56:02 – The Cocaine is making Jah nervous, he thinks he hears radios in the wall
1:01:28 – Jah is sweating and twitching because of the Cocaine
33:05 – World PB&J eating championships – winner is Patrick “P-Roc” Bertoletti with 42 sandwiches
11:45 – State Rep. Bob Allen arrested by undercover cop in bathroom of park
3:55 – Faux gay hang-ups … plus Jonathan gets stalked by two gays at a Whole Foods (“Great tats man”) … from Seth: Are you straight? Then why isn’t your throat choking on this cock? Discreet. (8:03) … Married father must suck a cock this morning. Come bust a hot load in my face. Let me do for you what your wife/gf won’t/can’t. (8:12) … Straight husband looking for a huge dick to slowly penetrate me. Wife can’t know. You come to fuck so you fuck to cum. (8:38) … Hurry daddy. Slide my sweats down. Oops! I’m wearing my wife’s panties. Drain this dick! (8:49)
28:24 – OUT: Regular tattoos. IN: Eyeball tattoos
48:10 – Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch – “Good Vibrations”
50:52 – Brad Paisley – “Online”
Games That Jonathan and Seth Play
15:56 – Iraqi War Operations vs. Epic Fiction Novels – Jonathan gets one correct
36:22 – First it was kegs, then fire hydrants, then plastic milk crates, then bleachers, now it’s cemetery name plates. Methmouths are scraping them off the tombstones and melting them down for a meth hit. Seth: “We’re on to you, methheads!”
31:57 – Seth: “What happens when you and Amir and the other two ‘couples’ are watching Harry Potter and in the middle of the movie the movie shuts down, the lights come up and Chris Hansen turns the corner and says ‘Hey guys. So you like movies? You drive to the movie?’”
13:25 – When Jah used to do his poetry, it was his economy of words and thought. It was the combination of both that really took his poetry to the top. Jah: “What about my pentameter?”
25:49 – While Seth was donating blood at the Children’s Hospital, he saw a McDonald’s in the hospital. Seth: “Have some fries with that leukemia.”
27:22 – Field agent Brian from Brooklyn goes to a Police concert in NJ – dude in front of him had a mullet, a NASCAR hat and a tattoo of Darth Maul. Dude has buddy with rat tail, they proceeded to hug each other and sing lyrics of Police to each other
31:19 – Jonathan saw the Harry Potter movie with Amir the night before. Jah doesn’t read the books, he just sees the movies. It was them, and two other pairs of dudes sitting in the entire theater
39:00 – Jonathan’s story about the hippie driver in front of him with an ’89 Subaru hatchback adorned with dozens of bumper stickers – “Visualize Using Your Turn Signals,” “John Stewart for President ’08,” “HumanKind – Be Both,” “It’ll Be A Good Day When Schools Have All The Money They Need And The Air Force Has To Hold A Bake Sale To Buy A Bomber,” “Where Have All The Hippies Gone?,” “We’re Making Enemies Faster Than We Can Kill Them,” etc.
43:24 – Seth’s dad, Tommy McFadden and Bruce Merrell had tickets to see Elvis on Wednesday, August 17 at the Cumberland County Civic Center in Portland, Maine – but Elvis died on Tuesday, August 16. Seth wanted the ticket but Seth’s dad had it framed and put up in Bruce’s barber shop
22:00 – An overview of Cuba Gooding Jr’s career since winning Best Supporting Actor for Jerry McGuire in mid-90s. The only movies Seth had seen were Boat Trip and Radio.
37:15 – Follow-up on All-Pro Football 2K8 – OJ Simpson’s team “The Assassins” has a mascot that is a hooded figure that makes a stabbing motion with a knife when they score
54:41 – Helmet boxing – dangerous new kids’ fight game
54:57 – Fire In the Hole – kids get biggest drink in drive through, whip it in drive-thru person’s face
33:34 – Jah’s iPhone comes to life
23:26 – Jah and Seth blast Cuba Gooding Jr. for his decline as an actor
24:44 – Seth revisits the stupidity of kids