View Episode 078
Originally aired 08.18.07
59:29 – Jah: “Holla back. Dope cock. Seatbelts.”
32:39 – UYD: Nurse in public, nurse in peace
59:21 – UYD: More Pixar, less bukake
16:50 – Seth explores Strictly Platonic and fraternities: “Last time I checked, strictly platonic meant going to see Superbad and then getting a malted afterward; it wasn’t like the head of a cock with a pizza hanging off it going ‘EAT IT!’” … “My dick’s on point… yours better be. … Let’s perv out old school…” (21:16)
57:04 – Seth getting nosballdick
45:57 – Sungazing/Solar Healing: Seth is accessing prana, the life force, by staring directly into the sun to receive his nourishment. He started at 30 seconds and has worked his way up to a water. He’s living off Vitamin Water, sun, air, support from UYD listeners, breastmilk, fruit-flavored Chiclets and moms. His energy and clarity is on point, but he does have some sun haters saying he’s going to go blind. Seth: “Hey doctor, if you want to call yourself that … Just like the doctors that told my wife not to get breast implants. Thanks, dummy.”
11:30 – Yone Minagawa, the world’s oldest living person, passes away in Japan, meaning USA reclaims the throne. Edna Parker, born 4 months after Miss Minagawa (April 20, 1893), living in the Heritage House Convalescent Home in Indiana, 114 years old. At the same home, Sandy Allen, the world’s tallest woman, lives there
12:36 – Jonathan comes across photos of Yone Minagawa’s last birthday and starts to cry: “She was so fucking cute. I felt like I was being anti-American by how much I wished Minagawa was still our lady. … I wanted to die. And I didn’t want her to die.”
36:30 – Soulja Boy – “Crank That (Soulja Boy)”
39:16 – Craig Morgan – “Tough”
5:07 – Jah gets an e-mail the other day from a listener who is an ecologist living in Hungary. He found out about the show from a friend named Wendy. Wendy found out about the show when she was hitchhiking through Texas and ther person who picked her up had 20 episodes on her iPod and they listened to them on their road trip. Wendy peeped it, spread the word and now UYD is Hungary for more. Jah wants the listener who picked up Wendy to “holla back for a dope cock in your mouth.”
8:14 – Seth sang “Paul Revere” at his 8th grade talent show; Jah sang “Patience” by Guns N’ Roses with his friend Tyrone, whose dad owned Chrome Hearts. Thirty seconds before they were going to get on stage and Tyrone locked up and said he couldn’t do it. Jah told Tyrone to play the intro, then drop his pick and pretend like he was still playing. By the end of it Jah was a cappella snake dancing
16:19 – Guy sends Jah an e-mail saying “you asked for it…” with a picture of his balls – just 63 episodes after Seth made the original request in Episode 15.
44:01 – Seth was an original member of the Hunkstie Boys at Caleb Dustin Hunking Middle School in Haverhill, MA. He and his boys went out and lip-synced to Paul Revere. During the lip sync session he did the line “I did it like this, I did it like that, I did it with a wiffle ball bat,” and he and his dad went to McDonald’s afterward to get a Happy Meal, and his old man was pissed at him
50:23 – Seth’s story about his night terror that was like a ‘Nam flashback and he swept 11 beer bottles off the table (first told in Episode 33)
24:33 – Seth reads from a section in the Los Angeles Times that features celebrity home listings: Celebrity hand model Rick Wagner has listed his 1927 Normandy style home in Los Feliz at $1.78 million. His neighbors include Mandy Moore, Vince Vaughn, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie. Wagner has been the on-camera hands for John Travolta, Dennis Quaid, Sting, Ryan Seacrest, Tim Allen and Jeff Goldblum, to name a few. Wagner says, “People recognize my hands before they recognize the rest of me.”
41:09 – Girls Gone Mild, a new modesty movement. Not bad or semi-clad. Jah: “You better fucking get with it.” Seth: “I ain’t gonna recognize that.” Jah: “You’d better respecognize that.” Seth: “I ain’t going to respecognize shit because we’re going to dress my daughter the way she wants to dress.”
1:30 – Jah gives a shout-out to Cassie and Crow for the dope birthday gift they sent him. It’s a giant rubber ball with Chris Hansen from TCAP drawn on it with a Sharpie, and it was sent through the post office as is.
7:33 – Seth came up with his DJ name: DJ Talent. Jah, jealous of his friend’s DJ name, steals it for himself: DJ R23PO
9:55 – Jah gives a Forum update. One listener asks if Jah’s dad was in Chicago because he thinks he saw him, but Jah dispels this rumor. Another listener responds, saying they had their own celebrity sighting, spotting Seth Romatelli in Fish Without A Bicycle. Another listener says they found him in IMDB as being in Crossroads with Britney Spears: “Please tell me he hit that.” Seth’s only reply: “People are talking. Technology is running amuck.”
14:09 – Seth wonders if the static electricity discharge thing at gas pumps is true or BS. Jah thinks it’s bullshit.
15:17 – UYD listener Mike calls Jah a hippie-crite: “Vegan/smoker, environmentalist/car fanatic. When was the last time you replaced a car trip with a bicycle or just walked there? I can’t wait to hear your self-righteous hatred of AT&T when you get your paper-wasting 20-page bill for your iPhone. By the way I love the show. I found you about Episode 20 and I’ve listened to every one. Every time I ride my bike past Gold’s Gym I remember the story about some first grader that had cocaine and some other kids that had a grenade, because I was listening to the show when they were replacing the Gold’s Gym sign, and now the two are welded together forever in my brain.”
45:20 – Jah reveals that they lost half of a show tonight
56:17 – Seth’s cross-country trip where he recorded the high score on Gallaga on every arcade in the nation. Seth: “What three letters did I punch in?” Jah: “UYD.” Seth: “Actually I did RMA for Roma, but next time.”
42:39 – Seth on the people who want to beat up pussy. “I treat that shit like it’s the original Declaration of Independence, like the Gutenberg Bible. These motherfuckers take a chainsaw to it, they’re watching fucking Hostel, they don’t think twice about it. Anybody wanna get nasty? I’m gonna beat that pussy up! Hey dog, maybe that’s why you’re on Craig’s List trying to get laid, because you’re beating pussies up left and right. Why don’t you try taking one and giving her a malted with two straws, waiting an hour before you’re punching it!”
58:08 – Seth on Craig’s List weirdos: Daddy looking for his daughter … “Hey dude! Go to church and meet somebody and raise a family. Don’t fuck your ‘daughter’ online. … I gotta be nasty with it! That’s what they like! Watch a little porn dog? Why don’t you quit watching porn and rent Finding Fucking Nemo and go to church like a normal person! We need more Pixar and less bukake!”