View Episode 084
Originally aired 09.29.07
1:01:52
4:25 – Seth takes a chug of Clamato energy drink. Ingredients: Water, High fructose corn syrup, tomato paste, salt, taurine, vinegar, onions, garlic, celery seed, spices, ginseng and dried clam broth. Seth’s reaction at 5:50.
6:40 – Seth washes his mouth out with Diet Pepsi Max
12:03 – Jah blew Seth for a can of Cocaine. It was going fine until Jah puked on Seth’s cock. Blow energy drink mix is on the market; Fixx - $12
25:09 – Community Forum-General – speculation that paintball postings are really code for painting balls. Seth: You’ve always wanted to. Let me paint ‘em. Left sac red, right sac green. Stop! Go! Beep! Beep! … Seth notices a lot of people saying “’nuff said.” Asians act white. ‘Nuff said. … Kim Kardashian’s hot. … I’m looking for an old high school friend – her name’s Tina Rutowski. Anybody know where I can find her. Dude responds: I do. She’s blowin’ me right now. (Seth taps his balls with the microphone). … Also, Jah successfully sells a mountain bike on Craig’s List
6:53 – Ringles – CD single with a free digital ringtone download ($7)
8:09 – Adidas techfit power web underwear – promotes solid consistent ball striking ($70)
43:00 – Pittsburgh Slim – “Girls Kiss Girls”
46:23 – Halfway to Hazard – “Country ’Til The Day We Die”
48:48 – After Seth reads the “double two” in Jah’s cell phone number: “Tweeiiiins!”
20:44 – Chantico, the former chocolaty beverage at Starbucks (Episode 002, 5:03), which has resurfaced as an anti-smoking drug called Chantix (replacing Welbutrin as the most popular drug prescribed for quitting smoking), has been said to have a “change in dreams.” The change in dreams is actually described by users as “vivid nightmares,” “losing my mind,” “suicidal thoughts” and “a complete psychotic meltdown.” 3 million people are on it. One of the people who was on it, Carter Albrecht, the keyboard player of Edie Brichell & New Bohemians, went batshit crazy. He tried to kill his girlfriend, tried to come through her neighbors’ front door, and the neighbor fired a warning shot through the door that hit Albrecht in the head and killed him.
32:57 – Dude volunteers to help at Denver animal shelter, then gets caught boning a dog
33:50 – Family brings 3-year-old into Indianapolis children’s health clinic to get a blood test, and the female lab technician bites the kid’s shoulder. Jah thinks biting the kid’s back is weirder than the other dude 69ing a German Shepherd: “Dogs don’t talk, dude.”
40:32 – Presidential candidate Mike Huckabee: “I’m pretty sure there’ll be duck hunting in Heaven, and I can’t wait.”
51:05 – We are on the cusp of having the first Playmate born in the 1990s
56:04 – Southwest Airlines boots another scantily-clad woman off a flight
2:15 – Jah wants to blow the roof off UYD by handing out his personal phone number – 323-481-4422. One stipulation: In order to call him, you must get one friend to subscribe to the show
8:28 – If you call Jah, more than likely he’ll be on the driving range taking lessons from Roger Dunn
9:07 – Seth asks Jah if he’s ever heard of the reggae song “Sweat” by Inner Circle but Jah isn’t familiar with it. Jah stopped listening to Inner Circle when Jacob Miller died. Seth wants to know if the song is advocating rape or any kind of sexual deviancy or abuse
18:47 – Jah apologizes for the smoke detector going off in Episode 083. Seth says Jah went out at 3 a.m. and basically ripped the battery out of the detector
49:49 – Seth still receives Playboy magazine and reads the articles. If you paid Jah $1,000, he couldn’t even get an erection flipping through the magazine, much less successfully beat off. He says he would have better luck beating off to a Harpo magazine (really an O magazine).
53:10 – Jah wants to know if dudes use lube, spit palm or dry palm to jerky jerk
57:38 – The only cities UYD rocks it in are Sedona, Albuquerque, L.A. and Vegas
59:08 – Young man in Topeka, Kan., named Alex, goes to Topeka High and has nothing but good things to say about UYD and UYD nation. Seth says he sounds like he’s a straight-A student
1:00:00 – Jah asks listeners to tell him how to add pictures to the podcast so people aren’t blankly staring at text or nothing when they’re listening to the show
18:04 – Jonathan Lee Riches is at it again. He’s filed a new lawsuit this week, 3 pages long, handwritten in mostly chicken scratches, that claims 1) Steve Jobs employed O.J. Simpson as a hitman for the last 22 years, starting with the 1985 Philadelphia house bombing where O.J. got all the pyrotechnics from the band Great White. Steve Jobs also shot nuclear weapons at Lance Armstrong while he was riding his bike.