View Episode 091
Originally aired 11.16.07
1:03:11
41:39 – Saturday night, 8 p.m. on Fox, COPS special edition of Stupid Criminals; Jail, Tuesday night, 9 p.m. on MyNetworkTV – a show where they profile people who have been arrested that night.
44:00 – At a Wal-Mart in Ocalusa, man was seen on surveillance video drinking two bottles of White Rain hair spray
7:10 – Seth dips back in for 20 minutes to see what people are up to. First, Rants & Raves: Jewish? Too bad. … An open letter to every asshole fuck in Hollywood – Fuck you. … After you gave me the stink eye and went to the bathroom, I kicked your dog. Ha ha ha. I win. … Hey, there’s lots to bitch about, but there’s also lots to cheer about. I have a great house and two cats. … Why can’t blacks spell? … Just Netflix’ed Brokeback. Wow! … Fuck Thanksgiving, I don’t even like turkey. Then Seth dips back into Casual Encounters: Ooh, it’s getting cold out, I know – I hate it. That’s why I moved out here from the East Coast. No, I know. Let’s stroke our shafts together, seed on each other. That’s warm. Two straight dudes jackin’ off. You like meat? Kewl. Hint: No fags. (10:00)
19:37 – OUT: Candle parties and Tupperware parties. IN: Taser parties
59:06 – OUT: Mark Cuban. In: Marc Zuckerberg
45:30 – Project Pat – “Don’t Call Me No Mo”
47:11 – Brooks & Dunn – “Tequila”
49:55 – Jah revives his funk rap originally spat in Episode 024
13:40 – Jah: “Twins!”
3:03 – There was a used condom just outside the door of Jah’s car when he parked at his job today
13:04 – Seth used to work at a video store, they had a gay movie section that they would put rainbow stickers on the boxes. They used to jack them and put them on other people’s bumper stickers
22:54 – Jah ran into Mayim Bialik 24 hours after he told the story about the girl dressed up as Blossom on Halloween. Jah knows Mayim b/c she played John’s daughter on a TV show. She said he’d gained so much weight, then she puked, and she thought it was the craziest thing ever
24:02 – Seth was at a red light about 6 p.m. downtown, looks over and sees a dude leaning against a telephone pole: Kato Kaelin
29:28 – Jah was speaking to two women at a dinner last night. They were talking about putting electric blue makeup and glitter all over their face and wearing Coolio braids and going up to Timothy Leary’s mansion and doing whippets with him
55:11 – Jonathan says the Ween show was awesome. Crowd wasn’t very good looking but there was plenty of 4-20 to go around. Three-hour show. Epic. New songs from the new record. Security not caring about anything, etc.
2:28 – In China, they found hairbands for women in salons – 3 cents for 10 – made with used condoms
13:58 – Jones Soda celebrating the holiday season with Christmas (egg nog, sugarplum, Christmas tree and Christmas ham) and Hannukah (applesauce, jelly donut, latkes and chocolate coins) flavors
16:08 – USA sets a new record – more than 1 million cases of Chlamydia in 2005 (Seth claps for the clap)
16:42 – Pentagon approves the sale of Playboy magazine on military bases. Seth claims there’s only two ways he’ll cancel his subscription – 1) When Hef leaves this earth or 2) When they have a playmate born in the ’90s
30:12 – People magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive – the Doctor, Matt Damon. 1986 Sexiest Man Alive – Mark Harmon. 1987 – Harry Hamlin. 1991 – Patrick Swayze. 1992 – Nick Nolte.
34:51 – 50% of NYU students would permanently give up their right to vote for $1 million
35:57 – Mother is suing St. Louis Cardinals for displaying a message falsely accusing her daughter having an STD on the ballpark scoreboard. Message had girl’s name, followed by … HAS AN STD …. EWWWW. Girl is suing team for $25,000
36:49 – Angelino Hotel in L.A. offers the Brad and Angelino hotel package – prices start at $350, include a DVD selection of feature films starring Pitt and Jolie, a guestroom stocked with current issues of celebrity magazines, a map to the stars’ home, a late-night dinner, drinks at the lounge for 2 and a hangover kit – aspirin, bottled water, sunglasses and under-eye concealer. If available, the hotel’s Escalade will provide transportation
51:34 – Company called introfee, where personal introductions pay – they have put out a birth video bounty, looking for clear footage of a live birth and willing to pay $1,000 for the rights to use it in the 30-second Superbowl XLII ad – must show clear baby emergence, umbilical cord being severed including sound
56:49 – Marc Zuckerburg, the guy who started Facebook, is 23 years old and has a 20% stake worth $3 billion
1:38 – Jah says he will change the outgoing UYD voicemail message soon enough but he’s bad at doing it so he’s put it off
4:20 – Jah’s first reference to “Behind every cup of coffee, there’s a barista and a good story” posters he’s seen in several Starbucks. Examples: I have a customer who orders a triple tall nonfat extra hot cappuccino every day. We call it an Angela. … I think Abby’s been working on her novel for six years now. … There is this lovely couple who come in every morning and read the newspaper to each other. … And when she came in to meet him, he greeted her with a dozens roses and a mocha.
10:51 – Jah wants to start a campaign for reclaiming the rainbow from the homosexual community. In his life, he has been both a hippie and a raver – two things that years ago, rainbows were an integral part of. Jah: “I am telling all gays right now, respecognize. You get to pick two colors from your rainbow flag. I am completely willing to forfeit a color combination to you.” (Then Jah says, “…like the orange and blue of Florida State.” He meant Florida)
21:21 – Seth answers his question from last episode: the original name of Pearl Jam was Mookie Blaylock.
22:22 – Jah dedicates this show to Laura Darlington for her birthday – friend of the show, original UYD listener
48:37 – Jenkem is brought up again. Jah claims he didn’t realize what the “Winnie” nickname is all about (Winnie the Pooh) and wishes he would have picked up on it
58:33 – Jah pleads for money, but Seth says not to because they’re getting it from Marc Zuckerberg
59:41 – UYD idea started in Jonathan’s laundry room in Thanksgiving of 2005. Seth: “That’s when the deep-seeded plans started to take shape.”
1:01:43 – Young college student, UYD listener, has been going to everyone’s dorm room and subscribing to iTunes on their computers
39:40 – The UYD phrase “make it lain” is coined. Seth: “We up in da crub, makin’ it lain.”