View Episode 093
Originally aired 12.01.07
1:03:05
53:26 – UYD: Lasik, teeth whitening, ball check, everything
19:07 – 7-11 creates new energy drink called “Inked,” for those with tattoos only
54:35 – UYD missed an old woman that died. Bertha Fry from Indiana passed away Nov. 14, 2007. She was less than 3 weeks from her 114th birthday. Seth: “She couldn’t cut it.”
Games That Jonathan and Seth Play
21:49 – Jah: “Would you rather chew two pieces of Orbit Mint Mojito gum or drink one mojito at the Ivy on Robertson?” Seth: “Is the mojito a virgin mojito?” Jah: “It can be.” Seth: “Will I be guaranteed an A-list celebrity?” Jah: “Yes.” Seth: “I will chew the gum.”
39:22 – A new teen high is sweeping across the nation: setting fire to curbside trash barrels and inhaling the fumes of plastic and refuse. It gives a short, intense, dangerous high.
40:34 – Jonathan explains that at Dead shows, two people would stand shoulder-to-shoulder with a nitris balloon, taking turns huffing it, and then just start running and race. Dudes are running face-first into buses and veggie burritos and ganja gooballs
43:07 – Jah gets a random text from a listener of the show. All the text reads is COCONUT WASH (Episode 089, 56:00)
44:51 – Jah references Orcas Island in the Puget Sound (Episode 021, 47:41)
3:20 – Jah’s terrible graphic sinus infection story about getting sinuses scraped – Amir’s dad got one, got sick, goes to bathroom to throw up, gauze goes back into throat, can’t breathe so he’s puking and suffocating to death… has to stick hands in mouth and pull gauze out of throat through raw passages – most excruciating experience of his life
9:42 – Jah has been pulling a couple shifts at the store and there is a 16-year-old girl working there for the holiday season. She listens to some dope stuff but also some Soulja Boy, reinstilling Jah’s faith that we aren’t too far gone. She went to the bathroom and couldn’t find the switch; Jah tells her there’s a string on the ceiling. She replies, “What?! A string to turn the light on?! That’s so old school!” Jah realizes that he’s in fact dead.
22:21 – Jah’s story about his mom getting hammered at the Ivy on mojitos – Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes show up, Jah’s mom says, “You know what I think, they’re taking pictures of the wrong people. They should be taking pictures of all of you, because you’re all beautiful.”
25:46 – Jah’s story about being at the Staples Center for a Lakers game – Jack Black appears on the jumbotron in a pre-recorded tape, cuts to live action of him sitting on floor, then it cuts to Jah on jumbotron, then to Jack Black, then back to Jah, etc. 5,000 people say something to Jah on the way out of Staples Center … four days later in Hollywood, dude asks him “Hey were you at the Laker game?” A week later, beautiful girl in Mexican restaurant: “Were you at the Laker game a week ago?”
29:16 – Jah was at a coffeehouse, hears a dope song, is loving it, then finds out it’s the new Britney Spears record
34:49 – 37-year-old sex offender on trial in Sheboygan WI for sex with underage girls. His name? Pheuk Kue.
44:17 – A retreat will be held later in the year on Orcas Island in the Puget Sound for a technology fast – no internet, no e-mails, no cell phones, no texting. Counselors work to break these terrible addictions
46:24 – Video released of a former firefighter who had been in a coma for 10 years when he woke up and was reaching for his little boy but the dude was fully grown. Seth thinks you couldn’t be out for more than 2 ½ days without having an utter breakdown freakout
1:23 – Jonathan texts “PICKUP” to 44544 in order to get awesome pickup lines like “Hey, how much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice. Give me your number.”
6:58 – More “Behind every cup of coffee, there’s a barista and a good story:” There’s a mom and the cutest 2-year-old who come in for chocolate milk. Only she calls it dot-dot milk. … Last Christmas she baked us the most amazing cookies. It’s nice when customers are nice. … Neil is my human VCR. He’s always able to tell me what I missed on TV last night.
11:46 – Seth clarifies last week’s question as to whether Alan Thicke wrote the Growing Pains theme song “As Long As We’ve Got Each Other,” it was written by John Bettis – sang by B.J. Thomas
13:09 – Another reference to the Cold Stone Creamery forearms. Marble Slab has been around five years longer than Cold Stone (1983 vs. 1988), but there are 1,400 Cold Stones vs. 349 Marble Slabs.
52:09 – Seth hasn’t had a physical since 8th grade
55:02 – Jah spots what’s in Seth’s search window of his Google page: GUCCI MANE
1:00:45 – Jah finally sees Borat. Seth: “Did you see Titanic?”
33:09 – University of Texas study reports that college students drink larger amounts of alcohol on football gamedays
8:12 – More Parade magazine “What Ifs?” Jonathan questions whether these are current, because every time Seth reads one of them it feels like a throwback to the late ‘70s. Marilyn vos Savant: I wrote, “Rush Limbaugh is a popular radio talk show host. But, what if he were a Supreme Court justice instead?” Here are some of your answers. Phil Lustry of Modesto, Calif.: “The tabloid headlines would read RUSH TO JUSTICE.” … Tranh Truong of Arlington, Texas: “Clarence Thomas would look like a liberal.” … Nancy Dickey of Wildwood, Mo.: “Deciding what’s ‘right’ would take on a whole new meaning.” … Jonathan can’t believe no one poked fun at Limbaugh’s oxycontin habit. He claims he has no idea what a Parade magazine is, but he does know what a Hit Parader is.
20:29 – Seth and Jonathan ravage Ben Affleck for his barbed-wire tat and his crazy-looking face
37:52 – Jonathan does his Pheuk Kue voice as he’s trying to have sex with an underage girl