View Episode 095
Originally aired 12.15.07
1:07:35
1:07:46
19:00 – Seth watches Snoop Dogg’s new show Fatherhood, and isn’t too impressed.
16:39 – Kid on Orlando school bus throws crayon and hits car, driver tails bus, gets on bus and says “I got somethin’ for yo ass. The iron will set your mind right.”
Games That Jonathan and Seth Play
8:05 – Seth and Jah play the pronunciation game with Carribean, Oregon and Potato; then shift to the preference game with pigpile/dogpile, recess/nutrition, bubbler/water fountain and pop/soda.
17:35 – Trivia question. Seth: “How many Pinkberry stores are there in the Los Angeles area?” Jah: “21.” The answer is 29. (Seven in NYC)
37:43 – Who is going to voice KITT in the new Knight Rider TV movie (airing Feb. 17, 2008)? Jah guesses it correctly after some key clues from Seth – Will Arnett
47:17 – Seth hands Jah a note, he has to read it out loud and do what it says. Note reads Could you please sing the following two jingles: “Let’s go Outback tonight,” and “Every kiss begins with Kay.” Jah doesn’t know the Outback tune but he does the Kay Jewelers one to perfection.
1:07:37 – Jah does another “Every kiss begins with Kay” with an audio echo
8:30 – Pittsburgh’s iconic amusement park Kennywood, after 100 years of family operation, was sold this week to a company from Madrid, Spain. A Kennywood spokesperson said, “The park is going to continue to be what it is, what we all love. We don’t expect to see any changes. We don’t think it’s going to become a giant taco stand.”
1:46 – Seth sees a license plate on a Jetta on the freeway: RUB1OWT. Seth gives him the thumb’s up, dude with huge sunglasses nods at Seth like yeah.
2:40 – Jah sees a license plate on a Passat at the Hollywood Bowl: JSTILES. But it wasn’t Julia Stiles. Later, in Culver City, at 3 a.m. he sees the exact same car. It still wasn’t Julia Stiles.
19:59 – Jah goes to Great Western Forum to see Lakers in late 90s, on the way out he goes out The Forum Club exit, all the Laker Girls are hanging out in sexy clothes – Jah sees a faded Snoop Dogg standing next to him. Group of 4 Hispanic dudes freak out and run up to him, saying “Snoop! Keep it real yo! Compton!” Snoop’s like, “Yeah, yeah.” Jah hears him under his breath say “Yeah, odelay and shit.”
23:25 – Seth rode an elevator with Tupac Shakur at the Beverly Center. It was Seth, an elderly Asian woman and Tupac. On eighth floor, Tupac gets out, little 10-year-old kid getting on and goes bonkers. Tupac went to do his business and the kid followed him, jumping up and down.
26:59 – Jah was in third grade, teacher walked out and another teacher at door told her about the Challenger explosion, she was sobbing
27:29 – Seth was sitting on the lawn at an assembly in 8th grade, Mrs. Sullivan leaned in and whispered in his ear: “Len Bias is dead.”
35:13 – Seth had a buddy who did time at the Twin Towers Correctional Facility. They would serve a balogna sandwich and an orange and a carton of milk for meals. They keep it at 40 degrees so viruses won’t spread. They would let them watch Friends in a common room at 7:30, then would shut it off at 5 minutes to 8:00 and call for bedtime. Seth claims this is why the recitivism rate is so high because they won’t let them finish the episodes (Episode 007, 15:48).
55:06 – Story about Jah’s crazy neighbor: “You’re always playing drums. No, that’s my neighbor. I do electronic music. Oh, you make beats!” Three months ago, he hears violent screaming, that neighbor is being strapped onto a stretcher being shoved into the back of an ambulance. Rolls back in a few days ago and Jah sees him smoking a cigarette, lost weight, head shaved. It’s the same dude who introduced Jah to a crazy homeless woman at a convenience store. Asked Jah for money.
58:24 – Jah gets grifted again. Lovely early 30s black woman comes to his door and says she came from a battered marriage and was put to work through an organization that is helping her sell magazine subscriptions. Jah buys two subscriptions for like $170: Automobile magazine and Domino magazine.
4:00 – David Blaine is in training because in May ’08 he is going to attempt a new world record – staying awake for 12 straight days sans chemicals.
7:03 – Last week it was the MILF special at Spirit Airlines, now it’s Seattle’s new Metro line, SLUT – South Lake Union Trolley, $52 million 1.3-mile public transportation line. Jah: “Ride that SLUT.”
14:38 – Houston driver leads cops on a 25-mile chase through city, pulled over, says “Yeah, my parking brake was stuck.”
15:08 – About 10,000 people every year treated in emergency rooms in month of December for injuries due to holiday decorating: burns, falls, shocks and cuts
24:48 – Criminals Gone Wild – features 100% real never before seen footage of criminals as they go on brutal rampages on U.S. streets. Watch as unsuspecting victims get beat, robbed, jacked and shot. Osama Bin Laden has nothing on these guys.
36:36 – 2007 Merriam Webster’s word of the year: woot or w00t – word used by gamers as an exclamation of happiness or triumph over an opponent
40:49 – Chyler Leigh – did movie called Kickboxing Academy in 1997 and made out with her own brother, Christopher Khayman Leigh, three times in the movie
50:01 – Seth updates us on Pheuk Kue from Cheboygan WI (Episode 093). Seth starts to tell Jah this story: Guy has child with woman, not together, daughter never meets father. Turns 18, mother and daughter say it’s time to meet biological father because you’re an adult now. Jah cuts him off: “There’s no way you do that.” Biological father tried to climb into bed the first night she was there and get up on that
53:48 – 61-year-old paramedic in Portland goes to scene of accident, puts woman in ambulance, rushes to local hospital – but not before he tries to bone down with the woman in the back of the ambulance
7:14 – Jah’s depth charge goes off, but it’s not a pertinent UYD factoid
31:40 – Seth’s friend John Buckley can, by not looking at a license plate, look at a driver and their car and tell you whether or not they have out-of-state plates
32:25 – Jah re-references his ability to distinguish the different colors of M&Ms; with his eyes closed
41:54 – Seth finally watches 55INCH’s clip of Jah on SNL with Jon Lovitz. The musical guest that week was Randy Newman, who Jah impersonates with a gravelly “Picasso” rendition. Seth couldn’t believe how composed Jonathan was on live television
44:06 – Seth looks up Don Vito from Jackass – got arrested doing an autograph session while drunk and fondled two 12-year-old girls, was found guilty and screamed “KILL ME!” in the courtroom. Kobe Bryant’s lawyer was also Don Vito’s. He is now on suicide watch in a Colorado prison.
1:03:50 – Jah notes the drama going on in the UYD website: “I feel like this is not conducive for the UYD community.”
5:52 – Cornell University study concludes that more college students take courses that are considered to be easier or will be easier to get a very good grade in
48:44 – “What Would You Say?” from Parade magazine’s Marilyn vos Savant: An English proverb says, “Live every day as though it were your last.” Here’s what’d you’d say. Kevin O’Neal of Hoffman Estates, Ill.: “Live every day as though it will be shown on YouTube.” … Jua Smith of Anaheim, Ca.: “Live every day as though you’re having a good hair day.” … Rick Wright of Atlanta, Ga.: “Live every day as though your therapy will actually work.”
29:11 – Sylvia Brown’s predictions for 2007: huge volcanic explosion in Hawaii in July; withdrawal of troops in Iraq; widespread U.S. polio outbreak; huge terrorist attack in Europe that dwarfs 9-11
5:04 – Jah and Seth rip David Blaine again for his new stunt – staying awake for 12 straight days
9:40 – Seth’s reaction to former CHiPs star Erik Estrada wanting to go to his grave in a police uniform and badge: “Sir, you were on a television show about 25 years ago. You’re not a police officer, sir. I’m going to pull you over and write you a ticket for being a crazy fucking lunatic.”
14:00 – Seth and Jah rip on Andy Rooney for his crazy diatribes
19:00 – Seth hammers Snoop Dogg for his show Fatherhood and for his wack rap that goes along with it: “Don’t you have a soccer game to pick your family up in in a Dodge Caravan? I got some iron that will straighten yo’ ass out!”
52:15 – Seth and Jah slam the dude in Cheboygan who tries to bone down with his biological daughter: “Hey dude, you are the craziest of all time of Uhh Yeah Dude. You win.”
11:00 – An assortment of crazy Andy Rooney (89 years old) quotes from 60 Minutes: I know all about Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig, but today’s baseball stars are all named Rodriguez to me. … TIME magazine has a feature story about what Americans buy. We buy almost 25,000 bags of Whiskas cat food a day. Well they didn’t sell any of that to me because I don’t have a cat.
0:47 – Seth: “Holla! You mean that’s not a horror movie that stars African American up-and-coming actors?”