View Episode 101
Originally aired 01.28.08
13:42
37:19
56:27
1:04:02 – Seth: “Don’t matter what the weather is, you’ve gotsta wear a seatbelt.”
0:39 – UYD: No jive
9:14 – UYD: The color of your energy
9:24 – New limited edition Snickers candy bar: Snickers Charged. 60 mg of caffeine, taurine and B vitamins. Why drink it when you can eat it?
21:53 – Seth: “Hey, are you sleeping right now? Maybe you need a Snickers Charged bar.”
46:09 – The very first energy drink launched in the U.S. was Pepsi’s Josta in 1995
52:59 – Destin – 20-year-old Derek Logan Dale was arrested for stealing a woman’s purse, tells police officer that the strap of the purse fell onto his foot and it just went with him, next thing he knows it was on his arm. Then he kicked out the back window and said “Yo, I’m claustrophobic!”
Games That Jonathan and Seth Play
47:20 – Seth asks Jah what two components new cars are missing since the Model T – a car lighter/ash tray and a metal external radio antenna – instead will be replaced with an extra cupholder and a built-in antenna on the windshield, respectively
What Seth Learned on the Monsterweb
22:21 – Seth introduces this segment, because when he gets on it “shit gets crazy.” Seth found a cordovan (leather from a horse’s ass) chuckaboot (three-quarter high top), then went to “death erections” when people hang themselves. The phrase is also known as “angel lust.” … Sarah Michelle Gellar did a Burger King commercial when she was 4 years old, but her ad agency, J. Walter Thompson, and Burger King, got sued by McDonald’s for declaring there was more meat on BK burgers. … Seth finds 9-minute clips of Frank Zappa on Arsenio Hall that he declares “awesome.” At the end of the interview Arsenio says “Stay tuned for Edie McClurg of The Hogan Family,” and Seth got in his car and drove to clear his head at Hollywood Forever Cemetery in Santa Monica
14:07 – The day of the Challenger accident, Jah was in third grade when the teacher got news from her door and started crying (first told in Episode 95)
18:18 – Jah watched the Cowboys-Seahawks game with Seth last year when Romo botched the snap. He says Romo blew it this way in a crazy way, but he’s getting super laid.
19:20 – Jah had a celebrity sighting this week – Jessica Simpson at Hugo’s in Studio City with her mother and another woman. Got into a brand-new white Mercedes SUV. Says she was short but super cute.
19:58 – Seth saw Kate Mara of Shooter on the sidewalk when he was turning on Ogden by Fairfax High School
26:20 – Jonathan used to go to Hollywood Forever Cemetery in Santa Monica to pick up lunch because his studio used to be right across the street. Seth used to have a spot there when he was homeless and just read
27:37 – Jah has been helping out his friend, a wardrobe stylist, who has hired him to be an assistant to drive a van and carry heavy stuff. The first morning the job took place, he unloaded the van with his friend and her assistant, then went to park the van. Parking lot was full, so he was told to go to next lot down the street. As he pulls up to the Pasadena-area lot at 7 a.m., it’s completely empty with only the parking attendant there. Rolls down his window, says hi, parks the van. Pulls his cash out when he sees the sign for $8, and the attendant says it’s $13. Jah asks why because it says $8, but the dude says $8 plus $5, and takes the $15 from Jah’s hand and gives him no change. Attendant tells Jah to move his van because it’s too big. Jah’s reply: “Or you could just give me my fucking money back.” Dude gives him the money, and Jah says “You don’t have to be a fucking dick about it, dude.” As Jah pulls out, he winks and waves at the attendant, and the attendant gives him the finger. Jah parks elsewhere for $5, exit he takes dumps him out right in front of the dude. He walks past the guy’s lot to go to the place, and the dude is sitting in his passenger seat. Jah gets as close as he can to him, and open hand smacks on his back window four times real loud, then screams at him “IT’S TOTALLY COOL! I FOUND PARKING SOMEWHERE ELSE!” Then realizes he’s scared the man beyond recognition. Following a long pause, he looks over his shoulder and the dude is in his booth riffling around, then comes out with a 9-iron spitting on himself. At the same time, the shuttle pulls up and the Armenian driver tells the attendant to calm down. Jah joins in and starts screaming at the dude again. As Jah gets in the shuttle van and shuts the door, he realizes all the talent for the photo shoot for that morning are in full hair and makeup, smiling and scared shitless. Armenian guy told Jah that it was $13 because it’s an extra $5 for vans. Seth thinks Jah was in the right
37:50 – Jonathan updates us that he has not received one of his magazine subscriptions he originally talked about in Episode 95 when he got grifted
38:23 – Seth got a parking ticket on Christmas Day – coming home from church with his mother (Christ The King, Rosmore and Melrose), was in his apartment for 15 minutes, walked back outside and had a $65 ticket
40:35 – Jah saw the greatest concert of his life the night they shot Episode 100 – saw Cornelius play at the Walt Disney Hall. He and Amir both declare it “the best live show we’ve ever seen.”
50:25 – Jah ate at a Marble Slab the other day and said it was very good
57:19 – Seth and Jonathan two years ago thought they’d get a handle on things. Thanksgiving 2005, America was in a state of flux. They sat down on a washing machine in Sherman Oaks and wanted to get to the bottom of this. Two years later, they’re 15 years behind, claims Seth.
58:45 – Jah and his dad were talking about Jah needing to make money and get a job that pays him instead of just letting him hang out with MILFs and their dogs, and Mr. Larroquette suggests that Jah gets one of those Second Life jobs where he is hired to play it eight hours a day as another guy
1:00:09 – That story is only to be trumped by Jah’s mother suggesting that Jah become a high-end bodyguard because he’s personable and people would enjoy talking to him. However, she said he’d have to clean up a bit and take martial arts classes
1:02:49 – Jah was watching a reality show Becoming Miss America. One of the judges, a celebrity stylist, commenting on a contestant who put together her own gown: “Ooh, that girl is the Bomb.com.” Seth wants Jah to buy that domain name, but Jah can’t even buy jogger.com.
3:24 – Feb. 1, 2008 – “The Eye” released starting Jessica Alba
13:45 – Sunday marks 24th anniversary of Michael Jackson’s hair catching on fire during a Pepsi commercial shoot
15:38 – Mercury Morris quote about the Patriots’ undefeated streak from Week 10 revisited: “They have icebergs to go through on this Titanic trip. They’re talking about a lot of things. We’re docked over here, waiting on you. I’m telling you, they haven’t done that. So don’t come to me. Don’t call me when you’re in my town, call me when you’re on my block. I’ll see you in my neighborhood. I’ll see you next door moving your furniture in. And if you do, I’ll be in my tux waiting on my bride.” They come back and interview him again this week: “OK, they’re on my block. They approaching on the street where I live. The question is, will they be able to park. On February 3, 2007. One thing’s to be on that street, another thing’s to get out and look at that real estate.”
20:55 – Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney, while posing with a group of South Carolina African American teens for a photo: “Who let the dogs out? Who!? Who!?” Mother hands him a baby to kiss: “You got some bling-bling!”
21:41 – Bill Clinton in a church listening to a pastor talking about MLK, sound asleep
39:14 – New York man receives a voucher from Starbucks for any Starbucks drink. Ordered a 13-add shot venti soy hazelnut vanilla cinnamon white mocha with extra white mocha and caramel. Drink’s total came to $13.76 with tax and had 975 mg of caffeine in it
43:57 – Wednesday, Jan. 30 is International Delete Your Myspace Page Day.
54:46 – 29-year-old stepfather on trial in N.Y. for killing his stepdaughter because she ate the rest of his yogurt. His defense attorney submitted as evidence a photograph of a coffee mug that was given to him by his stepdaughter that said WORLD’S GREATEST DAD. Seth: “The defense rests! And we out!”
0:29 – Jah took the 101 to get to Seth’s house tonight – coincidence? They think not.
1:26 – Show dedicated to Amir’s grandfather Tom, who passed away last week
1:51 – Shout-out to Weck for sending the minute-by-minute episodic recollection of what is Uhh Yeah Dude. Seth: “Tina Turner wrote a song about Weck. It’s called ‘Simply The Best.’”
7:43 – Seth is back to wearing his usual garb since they’re not on camera. Jah apologizes for Episode 100 because he was very nervous and since it was hot in the studio he was sweating profusely from the pit area
10:20 – Since Seth didn’t get advance screening tickets for Rambo, the full report won’t be until 102. The pocket knife, he says, will be unsheathed at certain points. Total deaths in First Blood: 1. Total deaths in First Blood Part II: 69. Total deaths in Rambo III: 132. Total number of people killed in Rambo IV: 236.
12:13 – Seth prefers a Score bar over a Heath, Jah goes with a Heath over a Score
13:40 – Jah claims Heath Ledger’s death is “tragic.”
23:54 – A modern-day phrase for the death erection: angel lust
6:02 – Jonathan and Seth hammer the new Wayans movie Meet the Spartans and their website
16:53 – Jonathan and Seth blast former Dolphins player Mercury Morris for his crazy analogies about the Patriots’ undefeated season
21:21 – Seth hammers Mitt Romney for referencing the Baja Men
41:54 – Seth blasts Ringo Starr and his new album Liverpool 8, then sings a little of it
1:01:13 – Seth circles back and hammers the 9-iron parking attendant guy who was being a dick to Jah: “Do you know how it works in the real world? The other person hands you back the money that they owe you and then you both go about your fucking business. You don’t pocket the $2 and then walk away – that’s fucked up! That motherfucker! You’re going to hit me with a golf club? You owe me $2 asshole! Give me $2 and then you can do whatever the fuck you want!!”
1:01:59 – Seth hammers Second Life people and Craig’s List posters: “Delete your internet. Kill your computer.”