View Episode 107
Originally aired 03.09.08
1:06:47 (Seth hesitates to say it because that means the show will be over and Jah will leave)
0:28 – Jonathan has no one but Seth to thank for getting hooked on America’s Best Dance Crew on MTV. Jah is a JabbaWockeeZ fan but Seth is all about Status Quo – Quo fo sho.
52:50 – That’s Amore starring Dominico, a castoff from Tila Tequila’s show; Ax Men on the History Channel debuts Sunday at 10 p.m. – follows 4 logging crews in NW Oregon on North America’s most dangerous job. We’ll learn about beavertailing, widowmakers and spiked trees.
55:56 – In Tampa, a 77-year-old man known as “Crazy Ray” was arrested on an elementary school campus with a knife yelling “You’re all going to hell!”; in Flagler County, a man shoots his wife in his home claiming he thought it was empty and playfully pointed it at her; in Ocala, a 77-year-old man beat up his 74-year-old wife because he was upset about the high cost of gas; in Ocaloosa, boyfriend spits on woman twice when she finds out he had been cheating on her. When police arrived, he claimed he didn’t spit on her – only gleaked on her; Orlando police looking for woman seen on a surveillance camera at a local car-wash, taking her 2-year-old out of her white Hyundai and spraying her with a high-pressure wand all over her body; etc.
8:45 – Dude joins UYD myspace fellowship and is a runner. He had an OG Adidas poster photo of a dude getting Nip Guards (Episode 106) put on
11:49 – Crocs O-dial, now available in the UK – a holster for your cell phone made by Crocs
46:40 – Gael Garcia Bernal has dumped Elijah Wood and is now dating Diego Luna. Seth saw them out.
7:04 – On KNBC’s LA Marathon coverage, a white runner temporarily led the pack. Announcer: “Well, Ed, it’s one of those matters where the Kenyans and the Ethiopians, they see— well, let’s be honest here, they see a white guy out in front, and they just don’t take him seriously.” A 10-second pause of dead air followed this statement before the guy picked back up and kept talking
9:14 - OG Nipguard
What Seth Learned on the Monsterweb
21:12 – McDonald’s Filet of Fish was created in 1963 in Cincinnati when a local franchise owner noticed a decline in sales on Fridays when Catholics tend to not eat meat, BK and Wendy’s got in the mix too
8:28 – Seth had a great spot on Mile 6 of the LA Marathon at Lucerne and Rosewood, he pulled the Sundance around and parked it. He was enjoying his time until a small Asian woman wearing a USC sweatshirt kept making a peace sign and yelling “Right on!!” every 30 seconds. After an hour and a half, the people trickling through at the six-mile mark are way behind the pace. One dude is stumbling on his cell phone talking to someone saying he’d slow down for them. Another dude is dressed as Marilyn Monroe running by
12:32 – Jah was standing at a Starbucks this week and took note of an extremely pretty girl there. He looks over and there’s a dude in his mid-40s sitting at one of the tables, he’s turned his chair and positioned himself and says “Hey, how’s it going?” Another dude asks him if he knows her and he goes, “No, no, it’s crazy, she just has the perfect eyes for this one thing…” Dude he’s talking to is holding a business card that he has just handed him, asks him if it’s his company, and dude shrugs off
24:42 – Jah has been hiking a lot lately, about 3 miles 3-4 days a week He was hiking and saw Spencer from The Hills on a mountain bike while Jah was in his cool-down phase
28:47 – Jah likes to sneak up on dudes when they’re busily working on their computers at Starbucks and looking at what they’re doing. He watches them do the craziest moves over and over that don’t do anything, just fidgeting so they can keep their eyes looking around
33:43 – Seth tells Jah to name his two favorite peanut memories: 1) Jah had just gone into town and gotten stuff for his kitchen and he was crazy blazed and started making a sandwich. His dad would make fried peanut butter, banana and honey sandwiches and so he replicated one with some Cookie Crisp cereal on it. He bit into it and it was the best-tasting thing he’s ever had. On his second bite he had a peanut butter choke (happens to him at least twice a week to this day) when he started laughing; 2) Nut-n-honey shake or Hunka-Hunka Burnin’ Love at Fred 62 or straight-up PBJ ice cream from Baskin Robbins
48:47 – Jah used binoculars 48 hours ago while birdwatching. He was sitting, minding his own business playing guitar on the couch the other night and hears a tapping at his back window. He doesn’t see anything, then he looks a little later and sees a small bird on the back door trying to get in. Jah goes outside and the bird’s wing is damaged; he takes it to his friend’s emergency vet facility at 10-11 p.m. It turns out to be a house finch (like a sparrow, with red on the throat and tail). Later, Jah sees another house finch land on his birdfeeder in the backyard and peeps it out with his binocs.
59:01 – Jah tries to explain “gleaking” to Seth. All Jah’s friends could do it and had gleak wars, but he could never do it and can only do it by accident when yawning. It’s a life skill he wouldn’t mind having
5:52 – Seth heard that Tyson-Holyfield III is in the works. Last time they fought was June 1997
15:49 – IHOP launches their new Dr. Seuss (pronounced Sois) Horton Hears a Who menu – Whocakes, green hags and ham, beaslenut splash
25:19 – After 13 years Bill Gates is no longer the world’s richest person. At $58 billion he’s dropped to No. 3. New No. 1 is Jimmy Buffett - $62 billion (Jah improves some “Margaritaville” lyrics). 23-year-old Facebook founder Marc Zuckerberg is No. 785, worth $1.5 billion
30:39 – Jimmy Wales, the founder of Wikipedia, broke up with his girlfriend, Canadian TV personality Rachel Marsden, on his Wikipedia show. She is now auctioning off a couple of his belongings on ebay. Marsden was given one year probation in 2004 for criminally harassing a boyfriend following a breakup
39:23 – Cosmopolitan magazine held a luncheon this week in NYC to honor their 2008 “Fun, Fearless” men. In attendance were Jessica Simpson ex’s Dane Cook and John Mayer, as well as current boyfriend Tony Romo
44:32 – Lesbians coming together to change the name of their sexuality to gayelles
1:01:29 – Yoga clowns: they’re clowns, except part of their routines at parties are incorporating yoga moves.
3:29 – Seth wonders why UYD is getting so many voicemails from Australia. Jah loved the gang of messages they got. Seth gives shout-outs to Matt and Mira and everybody on the fifth floor of a college dormitory to be named later – they couldn’t make out the name because there was a dope party going on
4:30 – Seth shouts out to the University of Mary Washington swim team, who listen to UYD during practice
6:38 – Jah can bench-press 150; Seth can bench 140
10:23 – Jah is laughing at the bodily fluids flowing from Seth’s body at the moment
19:05 and 21:07 – Seth and Jah revisit their whistle / sssmmMMOOKIN! routine with hot girls
23:43 – Seth has counted cigarette butts for 106 episodes Jah’s smoking average for the show. Jah knows what he averages – 5 cigarettes. Jah is supposed to put on a nico patch and he’s going to put it on Biffin’s Bridge
37:10 – More Parade magazine “What Would You Say….” from Marilyn vos Savant: Henry Parker wrote, “The bigger they are, the harder they fall.” Here’s what you’d say. Bill Kelly of Mechanicsburg, Pa.: “The bigger they are, the older the fish story.” … Christine Newhouse of Central Square, N.Y.: “The bigger they are, the more likely they’re fake.” Seth says we’ll be back next time with A French proverb says, “The best things come in small packages.” What would you say? Fill in the blank with one or more words: “The best things _______.”
16:59 – Seth rips on dudes who pronounce “Porsche” all properly
19:17 – Jah and Seth blast creepo dudes who don’t throw any game with girls and just stare at girls. Seth: “All fuckin week I’m in that Whole Foods, and it’s packed with good-looking girls, and every time I’m in line, I hear some dude, like What are those, organic walnuts? Yeah! Why are you looking in my fucking bag and commenting on my shit, dog?! I’m not looking in your bag and commenting on your fuckin’ shit! Hey, are those tofutti cuties? You’re a cutie. Why don’t we share a tofutti cutie? Get out of my face, rapist!!” (20:25)
27:17 – Seth rips Marc Zuckerberg for wearing a fleece Patagonia, Abercrombie cargo shorts and Croc Tivas: “You’re worth $1.5 billion, you should be wrapping yourself in babies.”
28:18 – Seth going off on all the backpacks he sees daily
31:24 – Jah goes off on promos on Myspace for match.com – faux videos for “see who’s on!”