View Episode 109
Originally aired 03.25.08
1:04:13
35:49 – UYD: Definitely not not real
49:38 – UYD: Big weed
50:33 – UYD: 25% more electrolytes than any other planet
1:04:10 – UYD: Got-R-Did
35:57 – Drunkorexia: Young women spend all their daily calorie intake boozin’ it
55:11 – Segment begins by Jonathan giving some background. Jah notes that there is an abnormal collection of terrible and senseless and idiotic happenings in the state of Florida, to the point that UYD has initiated a movement in an attempt to annex the state from the 50 states, which would require cutting it off the mainland and pushing it out into the ocean and making it its own island. Some people would then like to move Puerto Rico in to replace Florida. … In Groveland, an 11-year-old was going door-to-door to raise money for a school fundraiser, when a 43-year-old Disney security guard opened the door completely naked and punched the kid in the head; in Tampa, a bar has been holding dwarf cagefighting on weekends; in Point Sienna, a 44-year-old history teacher was suspended for telling a 13-year-old that she had “nice perky tits;” in Kissimmee, a masseuse was arrested for performing a lewd act on a 13-year-old girl who came in for a massage with her mom; 48-year-old Floyd Bebee’s mugshot on the Smoking Gun with a tattoo on his forehead that reads GIT-R-DUN. What we don’t see is the tattoo on the back of his head that reads GOT-R-DID.
35:15 – Jonathan and Seth rip Tom Cruise and his birthday video that’s all over the internet, where he’s dancing around with his SciTi buddies and singing “Old Time Rock and Roll”
11:23 – Dr. John’s herbal lollipop is sugar-free, cavity fighting herbal extract lollipop – 2 times a day for 10 days 2 times a year. It was created at UCLA
14:24 – Seth endorses PB Jammers from Whole Foods – they’re individually wrapped PB&J 100% whole wheat pockets that have fork marks around them, take them out of the freezer, thaw and eat
15:55 – Kurt Cobain Converse – high and low-tops covered with his autograph and selected drawings and writings from his journals. Jah will have to get one because he wants vegan shoes
25:24 – Buzz Cuts – 30 biggest and best alt-rock hits of all time on 2 CDs: includes Creed’s “Higher,” 3 Doors Down’s “Kryptonite,” Crazy Town’s “Butterfly,” Papa Roach’s “Last Resort,” Puddle of Mudd’s “Blurry,” 311’s “Amber,” Sum 41’s “Fat Lip,” Switchfoot’s “Meant To Live,” Lit’s “My Own Worst Enemy,” etc.
50:09 – Gatorade Tiger has 25% more electrolytes. Flavors include Red Drive, Cool Fusion and Quiet Storm
3:23 - Jeff's Ship
Games That Jonathan and Seth Play
51:39 – Jah does some lightning and thunder clack sound effects, followed by raindrops falling into an Ed Begley ceramic jug
52:18 – Jah does sound effects of the movie theater about to start at The Grove when the opening credits are about to roll
18:40 – Seth gave up cocaine cold turkey, and it compared to mourning like 9 friends who got shot in the face and then an earthquake hit
3:13 – Amir and Jah tossed around the idea of calling their band “Jeff’s Ship” as a partial spoof of the Jefferson Airplane/Starship theme
24:19 – Jah saw DMX in concert once. He opened up for Limp Bizkit, when Jah took his brother Benjamin (devout Bizkit-head) to the show
31:45 – UYD listener and website moderator Nick Mueller was at a Britney Spears concert in Chicago, and it was sponsored by 8 different sponsors, and in between every set change they’d come out and say “Give it up for LG!!!” Nick simply said to himself, “What am I?”
40:58 – Seth saw a grip of idiots getting headshots taken outside everywhere he went this week
3:58 – Harris Poll conducted with CareerBuilder.com asked 3,000 U.S. hiring managers and HR directors the worst things potential employees have done during interviews: dude answers cell phone during interview and asks interviewer to leave her own office; one dude told an interviewer he might not need the job b/c his uncle was dying and he might get the inheritance; and a dude asked for a ride home after the interview; dude says he got fired from his last job for beating up his previous boss
22:26 – DMX in an interview with XXL magazine: “Barack Obama? Where he from? Africa? What the fuck? That ain’t his fuckin’ name!”
28:33 – Joe Francis is out of jail after 10 months in prison. He asked Ashley Dupre, Elliott Spitzer’s lady, $1 million to pose nude in the GGW Magazine, but then someone at GGW finds her in the database 4 years ago in the bus in Miami boning down on Spring Break. They withdraw the $1 million, but her lawyer says she was only 17 when she did that… so Joe might be in trouble again
42:47 – Word on the street, according to UYD listener Matt Robinson, is that there is a film in production with Ricky Gervais called “This Side of the Truth.” A pivotal scene of the film will be filmed in Haverhill, Mass.
48:52 – Jake Frazier, who has 3 HR baseballs hit by Barry Bonds, was explaining to Yahoo! sports why he didn’t get his hands on No. 762: “I’m always stoned to the bone during games. I’d been smoking big weed 10 minutes before that guy hit the ball, so they had a big advantage on me.”
0:27 – Seth is still going by “Hard As Is”
0:59 – A couple episodes ago UYD talked about how girls can’t leave the house without being assaulted. A female listener lets Seth know about the rejection number, 1-310-495-5412, and when some dude spits his ill game at you the recording tells you the person that gave you this number doesn’t ever want to see or speak to you again
1:45 – Jah gives a thank you to his mom for having him, to Seth for having him here this evening as a guest, and to Slim Tim, who sent a package with a double-disc recording of the Jerry Garcia Band on August 7, 1977 – Jah’s birthday
16:50 – Jah is smoking a bit, but Seth says not to feel bad. He talked to a girl who took Chantix, and after smoking for 13 years she was totally cool in one month. She said that quitting cigarettes is like mourning a friend, and Seth busted up laughing in her face. Jah says it’s more like realizing how fragile sanity is: “You’re only a cunt hair away from boot heeling infant children at every turn.” Seth gave up caffeine for a while but it was never too hard to deal with. Jah said he would not do Chantix, but he might consider the hypnosis
19:59 – Longtime UYD listener Nick and his beautiful wife Heather are 8 weeks pregnant
24:46 – Shout-out to Ben Larroquette on his upcoming birthday, as well as UYD listener Tara’s 21st birthday on Wednesday
26:23 – 311’s “Amber” was Jonathan’s ringtone for when Amir would call
37:05 – Jah proposes that one reason dudes spit shitty game is because they see complete losers walking into a place with beautiful women. Jah asks dudes who listen to the show and own a pair of True Religion jeans to call him on his cell. He also asks dudes who wear Affliction t-shirts to call his cell.
39:55 – Seth asks if it’s illegal to turn left into a gas station and then faux drive by and turn back out into the street. He does it 5 times a week but Jah confirms that it is illegal
53:02 – Jah discusses laugh tracks, they have trickle-out laughters called “Fred & Ethel” where you hear the stragglers. Background noise is called “Walla Wall”
1:00:55 – Seth mentions that UYD keeps creeping up the iTunes page
1:01:24 – Jah notes that his package looks huge right now
21:32 – Jah asks if either his or Seth’s name will be incorporated with the babies of Nick & Heather and Seth’s cousin and his wife. Seth says yes.
42:09 – Seth hammers the dudes getting headshots taken outdoors in their horrible poses