View Episode 111
Originally aired 04.07.08
1:12:01
1:00:51 – UYD: Tomorrow’s school shooting today
1:00:54 – UYD: Yesterday’s newspaper tomorrow
1:01:00 – UYD: Entertainment for your ears, mind and clit
1:01:07 – UYD: Entertainment for your ears, mind and clitz – brought to you by Jonathan
52:34 – The JabbaWockeeZ won America’s Best Dance Crew on MTV despite Seth rooting for Status Quo; Rock the Cradle on MTV on Thursday nights features the offspring of nine rock legends – Jesse Blaze Snider (Dee Snider), Lucy Walsh (Joe Walsh), Chloe Lattanzi (Olivia Newton-John), Crosby Loggins (Kenny Loggins), Lil B Shure! (Al B. Sure!), Jesse Money (Eddie Money), A’Keiba Burrell-Hammer (MC Hammer), Landon Brown (Bobby Brown), Lara Johnston (Tom Johnston of The Doobie Brothers); Kid’s Choice Awards 2008 hosted by Jack Black were phenomenal.
37:13 – Nomophobia: Fear of being out of mobile phone contact
2:51 – (Who’s Crushin’ Harder?) – A) Arthur Price of Bellevue, Ohio, bones down with his patio table by putting his prick in the hole where the umbrella goes; B) Cody Allen Cox of St. George, Utah, is burning various household items in the middle of the street when police officer Rich Triplett arrives on the scene and the following conversation takes place: Triplett: What are you doing. Cox: I’m starting a movement. Triplett: What’s the movement about? Cox: It’s for what I believe in. Triplett: What do you believe in? Cox: Mary Kate and Ashley Olson and Toby Keith. Triplett: Did you take or ingest any kind of chemicals? Cox: One glass of wine and an energy drink.
25:34 – OUT: Panini makers at Starbucks. IN: Grinding beans in stores to restore the coffee aroma. The new Pike Place Roast will be the first one grown
1:02:36 – Jah’s old style was smoking the seeds (Episode 059), so it renders you sterile for a little while so you’re good to go
What Seth Learned on the Monsterweb
10:24 – Seth watches the Diff’rent Strokes episode “The Bicycle Man” on YouTube of Gordon Jump as a pedophile taking Dudley and Arnold in the back of the bike shop to hang out with them. Dudley has his shirt off in the scene
27:22 – Seth spots a clip of Sacha Baron Cohen’s Bruno character dancing with a small Asian man in a Wichita airport for a scene in his upcoming movie. Seth also learns that Bruno duped Ben Affleck in an interview, but Seth doesn’t want to believe it because Affleck’s his boy from Boston
Crazy Things Dudes Say While Boning Down
1:03:23 – UYD gets some submissions from female listeners about crazy-ass things dudes have said to girls whilst boning down on them, first discussed last week: two girls were going down on each other in front of another dude (all drunk) and dude says “Yeah, do you like mouthing her slime?” and a little while later while fingering the one going down on the other, he says “You love this. Look at how slimy you are.” … another dude was locking eyes with the girl (“I’m doing this” eyes) while eating her out, and called her the next day and said “hey, remember when I was going down on you and staring into your eyes?” However, Jah admits that guys enjoy this when the girls lock eyes with them
0:41 – Jonathan got to Seth’s place on Thursday to do the show. Seth didn’t hear the buzzer to his door and he waited. He could hear Jah mumbling something about Hailie Selassie I. Seth says “dude you’ve been out there for like 6 minutes.” Jah doesn’t say anything, turns heel, gets in his car and drives away. Jah leaves Seth a message telling him that Jah said to go home because it wasn’t right
8:15 – Jah: “Have you ever fucked anything crazy?” Seth: “My ex-wife. Wah-wah.” Jonathan tells the story about cutting a hole in a honeydew melon, softening up the outer skin/rind for a “soft open” so it didn’t grind on his prick and then fucking the melon: “It’s awesome.” Seth: “Did you see this to completion?” Jah: “And how.” Jonathan says it’s even better when you put the melon in the microwave for about 15-20 seconds. Jah then gives a nod to his female bodybuilding story from Episode 039 (10:19)
16:57 – There was a girl Jah had a crush on who was completely into Rick Ashley’s single “Never Gonna Give You Up,” and Jah said it was awesome. He got the single on cassette and listened to it on his Sony Walkman on a plane trip to impress her
23:17 – When Jonathan sent Seth to the Zeitgeist movie site, he pretended like it wasn’t anything. Seth watched it on his laptop on the couch when it was super late with the lights off, at one point he heard a noise and jumped. Seth checks the stove, the heat, the car, the closets before he goes to bed, etc. Seth can’t take showers sometimes b/c the doors close and with the shower curtain he’s convinced he’s going to get stabbed. When he has his eyes closed when the shampoo is in, that’s too much to go. He lays corpse-style on the bed after checking all the closets and everything and has night terrors
25:59 – Jah is happy that Starbucks is getting rid of their panini sandwiches and the machines that make them (first talked about in Episode 099) because the cleaning spray they used once it started to heat up and burn off was the worst-smelling crap ever
41:48 – Jah got into a conversation where he told a dude he saw pictures of the guy’s dog on Myspace, and the other girl goes “Ugh, Myspace?” Jah gets defensive and says “What, you Facebook? Really? Are you calling me out on having a Myspace page?” The only 2 pages Jah has are Jogger and Uhh Yeah Dude. He opted not to have a personal page because his might be creepy
48:18 – Because Seth has been talking about his wheatgrass shots so much, Jah walks on Ventura in Studio City to go get a double for himself (Seth gets a single). As he’s walking from one corner across the street, an attractive young lady looks at Jonathan sort of oddly and says “Are you Jonathan Larroquette?” Jonathan says “Yes I am” and she replies “I love your podcast.” Jonathan’s knees give out because he can’t believe this is happening. The girl found out about UYD from one of her friends who was in the Facebook group Uhh Yeah Dude. It’s the first time Jah has been spotted in public b/c of the podcast. He assumes she recognized him b/c of the photo on iTunes or because of the vidcast. She has been listening since the 90s.
11:56 – Weezer has a new album coming out. For the third time in the last 6 albums the album name will be called “Weezer.” Jah says Rivers Cuomo is a wacky dude, but he definitely respects their music. Jah says he respects REM as well.
16:26 – Rickrolling is when a person provides an enticing link to someone in an e-mail or post, and it takes the user to video of Rick Ashley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up” that they cannot click off of until it is done. The name originated out of a “duckroll,” which leads you to an image of a duck on wheels. On April Fool’s Day, more than 20 different sites performed the Rickroll hoax
43:59 – Seth reads and watches a lot of material that says noone is getting any sleep these days. Jonathan declares that he gets 8 hours of sleep a day. The problem is he ends up staying up ultra late so he has to provide himself a life that doesn’t require him to do anything before 3 p.m., which he admits is completely uncool
56:26 – Update on Arkansas law that had a loophole in the bill allowing anyone of any age with parental permission to get married (originally mentioned in Episode 088, 48:46). The law was revised so that wouldn’t happen
0:29 – UYD is doing the show on Saturday because of life man, trials and tribulations. Jah giveth and Jah taketh away
1:44 – UYD wishes a huge Happy 21st Birthday to Brian from Brooklyn, UYD’s top field agent. He’s been to competitive eating events, jam band gatherings, a rave, a Police concert at the Meadowlands, etc.
14:20 – Jonathan lifted and frequently uses a quote he heard from REM’s Michael Stipe: “Every generation thinks they invented oral sex.”
14:47 – Jah thanks the UYD listeners who submitted their own versions of Lolcats with UYD themes on them
30:07 – Seth wonders why he can’t just call Moviefone to get movie times and not hear Tyler Perry’s Madea character talking to him. Jonathan can’t believe that Seth still calls Moviefone to get movie times, which sparks a long discussion about Seth’s technological woes. This reminds Seth of the e-mail from Seth’s favorite listener, Kat, who said “Seth’s above e-mail…” Jah clarifies that it’s not that as much as it is something that he doesn’t do, similarly to their friend Sunny Levine (new album “Love Rhino” available on iTunes), who doesn’t drive or have a driver’s license. Jonathan’s only concern with Seth not doing e-mail is that he feels he needs to stay on it, and he’s concerned that in 4 years if Seth decides he wants to be up in it, it will be like getting dropped off in the middle of Haiti. Seth reiterates that he’s listed in the book. The only people he talks to are Jonathan and his mother. He used to have a cell phone 8 months ago but had a full nervous breakdown and the phone “broke,” Jah just took Seth’s cell number out of his phone 3 weeks ago. Seth questions why people are so constantly texting and calling and Facebooking and Myspaceing (40:28)
46:05 – Seth has been on MSNBC’s Lockup Raw marathon, and describes one of the interviews with a skuzzy inmate in Kentucky: I take a bucket, and have all my people fill it up with shit and piss (Jah goes into a coughing fit at this). Then the dudes smashes a lightbulb up in a towel, pours it into the bucket, then throws it on the prison guards so the glass cuts them
1:00:35 – Jonathan wants to take the new Trojan vibrator then put UYD on it with one of the slogans
1:03:06 – Another dip in to Jah’s old tag, CENST (Episode 104)
2:24 – Jah and Seth rip on Jonathan’s brother Benjamin, who just turned 21, for not listening to UYD. Seth: “Yeah I heard that last half of 80, it was pretty good. …”
27:04 – Jah rips Starbucks for their panini makers: “That’s not a good way to combat McDonald’s putting baristas in their restaurants… fucking idiots.”
59:59 – Seth makes fun of the dude he sees at the store buying the complete first season of Becker on DVD: “Dude what are you buying right now?!”