View Episode 114
Originally aired 04.27.08
1:00:10 and 1:00:19
6:43 – UYD: Daytime DUIs
14:54 – Seth dips in to Dancing With The Stars after his mom’s beckoning, and gets an intense panic attack from watching a segment with little kids dancing around the stage. Seth thinks it’s the only thing you can do as a little person but it comes off as a big person. Jah thinks this might be true.
25:38 – Automatic car turner, takes 23 seconds to spin your car 180 degrees so the driver doesn’t have to back out of their driveway. Seth always backs in firefighter style and can’t understand why people would drive straight it and have to back out of their spot
6:48 – OUT: DUIs. IN: DWIs
Games That Jonathan and Seth Play
12:26 – Jah: “If there was one bodily function you had to pick that you could get uncontrollable about, what would it be?” Seth: “Umm, crying.”
20:13 – 5 real horses, 5 fake horses in this Sunday’s Kentucky Derby. Jonathan gets 1 of 5 correct
0:22 – Jonathan holds the “Seeeeeeeeeeeeth” tweeins note for an impressive 11 seconds
28:22 – “Reduce, Reuse, Recyle. Rebuy.” Seth brings up the recycling slogan that girls he knew who grew up in L.A. schools are still singing to this day. Jonathan finds out that Sunny Levine’s mom is the one who came up with that slogan. She couldn’t believe Jah still knew the slogan by heart
45:06 – Seth went to a birthday party at Foo Bar one time for a gay friend. The sign behind the bar that said IF YOU DON’T LOOK 21, PREPARE TO SHOW ID, except the last part was spray-painted out and it said FABULOUS!
48:35 – Jah was in an Abercrombie & Fitch store around Christmastime. The whole store reeked of teen rape because they spray all their clothes with the A&F scent. “It was as if Drakkar Noir hated black people.” The place was completely dark, except the tables of clothes were spotlighted. Trance music was playing. A half-assed A&F model was standing at the door with a little bit of abs showing and cargos. As Jah walks in he goes, “Sup guys? Have a great time in there.”
56:31 – A listener calls the voicemail who had seen Episode 100 and is a videographer that has some fresh ideas for the show. He’s offered his services for Episode 200, and talked about getting together in month or two. Jah says it’s so many weeks away that he can’t even comprehend it. 85 weeks is a little premature
3:16 – Top 10 most sexually active cities in America, based on contraceptive sales at grocery stores and drug stores: 10) Columbus, OH, 9) Buffalo, 8)Rochester, 7) Baltimore, 6) Cincinnati, 5) Washington D.C., 4) Salt Lake City/Boise, 3) Seattle, 2) San Antonio/Portland, 1) Denver. Jah: “I don’t think I would’ve guessed any of those.”
7:00 – A Googleganger is someone with the same name as yourself that you come across when you Google yourself. Jah admits that he periodically Googles himself, while Seth has never tried this. Jah has also Googled Seth. www.samenameasme.com
11:10 – Sneeze fetishists are aroused by people sneezing
16:34 – A single arch McDonald’s was taken down in Huntsville, Ala., leaving the very last single arch McDonald’s in Muncie, Ind. An original Dunkin’ Donuts sign was taken down in Brighton, Mass., leaving the last original sign in Lake Park, Fla.
22:32 – David Blaine will appear on a live episode of Oprah on April 30, attempting to set a new world record by holding his breath underwater for 16 minutes
29:39 – Kanye West during a concert in Sacramento to the crowd: “What up Seattle? Come on now, Seattle!” Kanye also is quoted in New Yorker saying he was breastfed for too long as a child and that’s why he loves big breasts so much
31:47 – At NYC’s Parker Meridian Hotel, you can call the concierge and get the Wii Boxing Workout for $120 an hour, in which a trainer comes to your room with a Wii and works you out
33:39 – FHM comes out with Top 10 Sexiest Women: 10) Kate Beckinsale, 9) Blake Lively (Jah knows her not from “Gossip Girl” but from “Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants”), 8) Trisha Helfer, 7) Hillary Duff, 6) Emmanuelle Chriqui, 5) Scarlett Johanssen, 4) Elisha Cuthbert, 3) Jessica Alba, 2) Jessica Biel, 1) Megan Fox
43:20 – Chelsea Clinton did a gay bar crawl in Philadelphia last weekend to tell potential voters about her mom’s “plan for America.” She went to Woody’s, Bump and Sisters
45:27 – Two weeks ago all 3 presidential candidates appeared in skits with Mylie Cyrus at the beginning of the CMT Country Music Awards. They were also on WWE Monday Night Raw. Clinton: “You can call me Hill-Rod.” Barack: “Do you smell what Barack is cookin’?” McCain: “What you gonna do when all the McCainiacs run wild on you?!”
0:58 – Jonathan finally figured out how to change the voicemail. He didn’t realize that for 100+ episodes, the main voicemail message and the mailbox message were playing back-to-back so the callers had to wait through incredibly long greetings before leaving a message
18:44 – Seth ponders what’s up with Jack Johnson? Jah says that in Hawaii there’s not a bigger star or singer in the world than JJ. Jah says at best he’s utterly boring, while Seth says he’s the worst.
19:49 – Blues Traveler is playing opening night at Hollywood Park, so Seth tries to get Jah to dip back in
23:27 – Seth boldly states that UYD has the funniest, smartest listeners in the world. He thinks it’s crazy how good the stuff is. Dudes called in singing in high falsettos, some listeners sent tearjerking e-mails
31:03 – Jah admits he was breastfed. Seth says that is why he has incredible social skills and a high I.Q.
40:26 – Inmate Jonathan Lee Riches files another lawsuit, this time against the makers of Grand Theft Auto. He claims that the game makes the other inmates more violent and feels imminent danger from them that they will steal his gold Jesus cross
8:21 – Seth rattles off a few Parade magazine “What Would You Say?” from Marilyn vos Savant: A French proverb says, “The best things come in small packages.” Here’s what you’d say. Sylvia Chapelle of Lakeside, Ohio: “The best things go on sale the day after you buy one.” … Paul Agathin of Washington, Mo.: “The best things come with no assembly required.” … Dallas Heckman of Allentown, Pa.: “The best things now belong to my former spouse.” … Jonathan still claims to have never seen a Parade magazine in the flesh.
46:05 – Seth rips Hillary Clinton for her wack hairstyle: “She looks like Pacino.”
47:33 – A revisitation of dudes’ wack fashion. Seth goes off on 3 college dudes standing in the background of Obama’s speech the other night, all wearing crazy Abercrombie & Fitch shirts. Jah says the biggest issue right now is that men’s jeans are at an all-time low, and the t-shirt thing is starting to take ahold now. Seth can’t figure out why Jah always looks like a million bucks and everyone else is a jackass. Jah is getting a panic attack from the younger kids who are just now getting into the fashions that he used to sport back in the early 90s. Seth proposes that they simply start wearing tuxedos all the time