View Episode 118
Originally aired 05.25.08
1:06:00
7:27 - Sensual/hilaro: UYD, Deepak Chopra
25:10 – UYD: 2 i in Wii
41:43 – UYD: Where people stop being people
1:20 – Seth doesn’t waste any time taking us to Craig’s List. He starts us off with the Married Men motif. I love head. My wife just won’t give it. I’m so keyed up. Let me jackhammer your throat and give you a massive blinding shower of spunk. Me masculine, u b 2. Preferably straight also. … Married 4 years, looking for other married bros to sit around, maybe J.O. while we talk shit about our wives. Watch some pussy porn. Must be on the DL. Rock hard cocks. Don’t act a fool. … My suckbuddy finally got married – ugh – moved to Portland, so pussy whipped. Looking for new straight dude to drain on regular basis. I’m engaged (had to). Drama free and an excellent cocksucker. Trust. … Married, so fucking frustrated. I miss college when I could J.O. with cool bros whenever I wanted. Need relief. Looking for straight guy who can hang, have a beer maybe. Stroke shaft until I cover you in release. Cool vibe a must. … My wife won’t fuck me. Lookingto lay some pipe on a hot straight white ass. Could meet you during my lunchbreak, slap your face right before I cockstretch your mouth. Give you a shower jizz before I have to listen to my wife babble about work. … Married straight dude looking for the same. We drop our pants for deserved sweet relief. Must be discreet. Verbal trash talkers to the front of the line. Understood?
25:20 – Jah and Seth just riff on the whole Frat House theme on Craig’s List
1:05:44 – Jah and Seth continue to riff on Craig’s List by saying they want to J.O. with a Jap ro-ro
19:43 – OUT Belgian jumpstyle. IN: Malaysian hardstyle
29:18 – FAA has banned all pilots and air traffic controllers from using Chantix, after the dude from Edie Brickell’s band went psycho (Episode 084, 20:44). Reason is due to side effects such as seizures, loss of consciousness, suicidal thoughts and behavior, and Chantix dreams
1:03:03 – During the UYD 100th episode, Seth was trying to convince Amir to take a 2CB and peak his balls off during the podcast to update them on the world
34:57 – Because of the amount of questions that Jonathan has fielded from UYD listeners asking about who the elusive Amir is, Jonathan decides that we should get to know him with a new segment entitled “Who Am I?”, chronicling an old school notebook that Amir used to keep in 1988. The cover features a black-and-white cartoon drawing of a violin, a violin bow, some musical notes, a soccer ball and a sword. Along with that is an adorable pocket-size picture of Amir. This entry is from Nov. 2, 1988, and is entitled “The Day I Was Born”: Palestinian guerillas freed a second group of hostages. Abandoning its traditional refusal to deal with terrorists, Israel said it was ready to talk. One-hundred hostages were taken from where they were held for four days on an Air France rescue plane that flew them to Paris. The confident Jimmy Carter campaign today told the Federal Election Commission it intends to conduct studies before the November election on the transition of power from a Ford to a Carter administration. A young San Diego woman was killed when her small car was struck head-on and crushed by a duel set of wheels which came off of a truck on the Golden State Freeway. Jonathan doesn’t read the teacher’s notes that accompany that entry. He also says there’s way more there but he wants to ease us in to knowing Amir
8:47 – Seth outs Jonathan by telling the listeners where Jonathan called him from last night: a Taco Bell. He said to the drive through man, “Can I get two 7-layer burritos?” As Jah was ordering it he realized Seth was on the phone with him, and he said to himself, Please don’t let him be writing this down right now. He knew Seth was going to bring it up during the show, and he couldn’t tell him not to because he knew for sure that he would. … Jonathan says he has done research that the beans are vegetarian at a Taco Bell, but he asks if the rice has chicken stock in it, because if it does his days are over. He’s been eating it for a long time and hasn’t wanted to look into it further.
11:25 – Jah brings up the story about accidentally calling Seth during a heated therapy session, crying about his life (Episode 062, 7:08)
17:04 – Jah reveals the story about being duped at King Kong, and after all the cinema rape he endured during the movie, he still had to cry at the end because they killed King Kong and Jah was pissed off
20:23 – Seth was in Pittsburgh and was on the incline, going up the hill and was already working out his escape plan.
20:56 – On Seth’s eighth-grade Washington trip, everyone was trying to get Seth to go on a rickety roller coaster. He was waiting in line, probably going to bail out and it started to rain while they were there so they had to leave. The craziest roller coaster Jah has been on was Viper, the last time he was there
40:32 – Seth reveals that he has a personal masseuse and the two of them have a deep understanding and respect for each other. The masseuse knows Seth’s body and can penetrate deeply.
50:20 – Jah was talking with his friend Nate the other day, and Nate made a reference to “Marky Mark.” The 18-year-old kid next to them was like “Yeah, yeah, you know what else it’s like? What’s that due who’s an actor now who used to be a model for Calvin Klein?” Jah realizes he’s not old enough to know him as Marky Mark, and has to explain it to this kid.
57:15 – Jah met Howie Mandel when he was 9 years old at the Emmys, and already thought he was the funniest person on earth. Howie was wearing a tuxedo and silver Nike Cortezes with a red swoosh and was sporting the crazy jeri curl. Seth asks him, as far as the quota of expectation to reward, if it was his best celebrity meeting. Jonathan says that meeting Jon Popper, presenting him with a portrait and then him in turn handing Jah a harmonica and then playing it in front of Popper and Popper giving him a lesson, if you could bottle those feelings, there would be nothing wrong with the world (Episode 055, 32:54).
58:57 – Seth was a freshman in high school on a field trip, and was hanging with the senior girls. They were walking by a Foot Locker and saw Jordan Knight and Joey McIntyre, and Seth walked in and asked them if they could come out. Joey high-fived everybody, and the whole bus ride home all the girls were loving Seth for it.
4:56 – Jonathan reads a passage from Newsweek regarding creators of downloadable audio/video programs (podcasters) are trying out new names for the technology for the aim of communicating that their work is compatible with a variety of media players, not just iPods. Jonathan says the problem is not the name, it’s the entire concept. He adds that iTunes is the best, so it’s all that matters
7:34 – 10 years ago this summer saw the first release of an mp3 player, the MPMan from South Korea – beat out California-based Diamond Multimedia’s Reo PMP 300
13:01 – Hot new trend is tweens going to day spas. Seth explains that tweens are not teens or pre-teens. 7-12 years old, full Hannah Montana. Tweens are getting facials, chemical peels, having eyebrows done, bikini waxes, etc.
15:52 – 25 years ago, Chris Dunn and Pam Jensen met on a Compuserve CB simulator – a program that linked the first computer users nationwide – the first chat room. After 2 months of chatting, Chris flew from NYC to Chicago, and one year later to the day they were married. America’s first Internet couple
23:14 – Many men no longer feel ashamed to ask for alimony during divorces. The stigma attached to having your ex-wife support you is lessened. It’s now called “manimony.”
23:47 – In Minnesota and N. Dakota, it is illegal to serve a 21-year-old celebrating their birthday until 8 a.m.
24:48 – Wii is releasing a series of games called Frat Party – the first one coming out this summer is called Beer Pong
32:13 – Hazelwood, Mo., man gets pulled over for having an expired license plate. Cop is walking up to the car and sees the guy in the passenger seat pull out his cell phone. Guy makes a call to 911 and calls in a robbery at the convenience store down the road, hoping that the cop would be dispatched to the store. Dispatcher hears cop asking the driver for his license and registration, and sends another cop by there, who brings him in for the prank call
47:41 – Scientificmatch.com is a new dating website only available in Boston/Providence. For a fee of $995, you give the site a saliva sample and get a match based on a new study of mate attraction using a technology called MHC. Lets users noses guide them to a perfect match. “Olifactory harmony.”
51:24 – McKinney High School in Texas – 583 students had altered pictures in the yearbook. Girls’ heads on boys’ bodies, outfits on different people, one girl was missing an arm and two bodies had no clothes on and were partially blurred out. Lifetouch apologized and said “they must have misinterpreted the guidelines.”
59:55 – Jah confirms the rumor that the 3G iPhone official announcement is set for Monday, June 9
14:37 – Jonathan got a text this week that said HEY JONATHAN – ARE CROCS REALLY ALL THEY’RE CRACKED UP TO BE? Jonathan simply replied, NO
34:57 – Jonathan announces a new segment entitled “Who Am I?” where he reads from an old school notebook that Amir used to have in 1988. “The Day I Was Born:”
41:48 – Jah reveals that Amir is going to see the Sex and the City movie because he’s been there since the beginning. Seth, too, has seen every single episode. He defends this because he says it was his only way to figure out what women think about. He says he’s more lost now at the end of it
49:43 – Jah loves Mark Wahlberg because he has a crazy high-pitched lady voice and so does Jonathan, and he gives Jah hope in the world. “When he gets intense, his voice gets all crazy high like mine does.”
1:03:55 – Seth took his glasses off and it freaked out Jonathan because he feels like he hasn’t seen him without his glasses on in 10 years. Seth does something to make Jah crack up but noone knows what it is
53:50 – Jah predicts that Seth’s teenage son is going to be the biggest asshole and he’s going to hate him. Jah says Jeff will be quiet and studious, will play piano a lot. Seth thinks he will make beats but bake.
1:05:02 – Jah says he would wreck the Honda robot, Asimo. He also found a Big Dog robot which is dope. Jah says he would break his little robot knee first and foremost, then snap his hips and J.O. with him
30:35 – Seth goes off on the people he saw on video going through surveillance at airports and stealing iPhones, laptops, and everything else.
39:41 – Jah and Seth hammer people who get their teeth whitened at the mall, which Jah has watched. He says it looks like a nightclub because of the glowing blue lights
44:56 – Seth rips Nicole Kidman for looking wicked fucked up at the Country Music Awards. Jonathan thinks it’s a weird deal with her, and he’s never found her particularly sexy. Her face doesn’t really move anymore, but Jah fell in love with her in the movie Birthday Girl
46:14 – Jah and Seth go off on Criss Angel again for his wack fashion
49:03 – Seth hammers people wanting to put a man on the moon again, as well as conspiracy theorists who believe in Zeitgeist and Building 7