View Episode 123
Originally aired 07.15.08
9:10 – Jah: “Seatbelts. Cartbelts.”
1:07:51
8:22 – UYD: Wiiraw
38:25 – UYD: Lesbiamis
1:01:24 – UYD: Lodging energy
1:51 – Seth gets right back into Craig’s List after UYD’s two-week break. Missed Connections: Caution: You’ve been thrown to the wind. I couldn’t tell who won our staredown today. Who do you think? … We shared a brief but intoxicating moment. Were you staring? … Are you my future ex-wife? … Take a chance. … Please write. … Do you remember? … I tried to call the number you gave me. It seems disconnected. … Let’s harness this lost opportunity. … Are you anywhere? … Let me delight your senses. What do you say? … Do you check this? … You: beautiful. Me: Devouring you with my eyes. … Is this a long shot? … We shared the crisp summer air, right? … Soul mates? … Let me dream. … If you’re real, please let me know. … Careless whispers shall entangle us. … Oh God I pray you see this. Seth: “Hey guys, your game is fucking strong man. You sound like Lil’ Wayne.” Jah claims this is tragic because they are so lost in all of this to think it’s a viable option for love. Seth thinks they wait 2 months until they give up on a response.
8:32 – IN: Golf carts that are street legal and go 17 mph
40:34 – Nelly – “Stepped On My J’z”
38:54 – Seth brings back the long-awaited segment with Brad Paisley – “I’m Still A Guy”
19:25 – Seth saw Diane Cannon at Whole Foods, someone who used to be a pretty attractive woman. He couldn’t believe how badly the plastic surgery fucked her face up. “Her lips dude, were so crazy lipped out…”
21:39 – Seth also saw Jodie Foster and thought, Why is this fucking dyke taking so long? After the fourth cup that Jodie poured of balsamic vinaigrette, Seth ripped it out of her hand and she looked at him and he made his salad.
33:23 – Jah went to the Bright Spot last night and was looking at a magazine and staring at a couple that was there. They got up, went to his car, he’s in the car and the car’s started and she’s still standing outside. Jah thinks it’s wack that he didn’t open the door for her.
36:36 – Seth found this on the street at Santa Monica and Fairfax at 12:00 p.m. on the 4th of July, 2008: I am a 21-year-old looking for a roarmate to live with. Lesbiamis or gay female to move and with at a low price: $200-Goo a month. For most attend college. For more call 213-784-1703 and ask for Tiene Makey.
49:16 – Jonathan teases us by telling us he has a story for next week. Seth foreshadows some of the production that will be taking place in the studio
52:59 – Jah was standing in a liquor store the other day, and as he was buying cigarettes the guy behind the counter was fucking with him and asked for ID. Two straight cholos at the register next to him look at Jah, and say “Leave him alone man!” “Yeah, he’s the Love Guru!” They then got into a tricked Z28 with 20s and rolled out while hysterically laughing
7:52 – The Wii beer pong game is now being called Pong Toss because it was unsuitable for children under 13, and there were a lot of complaints about it.
16:25 – There are 850,000 operational pay phones right now in the United States. Jah says he hasn’t laid eyes on one in six months. The last time he saw one being used, the dude’s mouth was so close to the receiver that Jah threw up on him.
24:56 – US Transportation Department and the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration are going to use female dummies for the first time in their high speed crash tests. They will all be 4-foot-8 and 108 pounds
27:13 – Dennis Hoff’s world famous bunny ranch in Carson City Nevada, since 1955 the phone number is 1-775-246-FUCK. The slogan is “more bang for your buck.” You can take in your federal stimulus check and get double the amount of check toward your ranch pleasure party.
35:49 – “Green rage” is when people lose their patience with other people who are not eco-friendly and have poor eco habits
49:31 – The first YouTube video was called “Me at the zoo,” posted at 8:27 p.m. on Saturday, April 23, 2005. 18 seconds of Yaku Lipitzky at the San Diego Zoo. The first item sold on ebay was a broken laser pointer sometime in the fall of 1995 for $14.83 when the site was still known as AuctionWeb
53:58 – Douglas Monks, 57, of Florida, takes his computer in for repairs – except under “My Documents” there was a big file called “Preteen Gay Porn” with 4,000 images of 600 boys aged 5-13.
56:35 – Woman at NY Sports Club got an awful odor coming from the locker room, opened the door to the sauna and found a woman who had put two pieces of bread and a piece of cheese on the hot sauna rocks to make a post-workout sandwich. Woman’s response: “I do this all the time!”
1:34 – Following the 2-week UYD break, it appears that Uhh Yeah Dude has fallen off the front page of Featured Comedy Podcasts. Seth predicts they will be back.
13:55 – A listener sent Jah an e-mail today and it dawned on him that the person was right: the term “Booty Call” is in dire need of being phased out b/c everyone still uses it and it’s wicked old. Nobody really likes the term. In Urban Dictionary, “booty call” was defined in Dec. 28, 2005. Definition: a late-night summons often made via telephone to arrange clandestine sexual liaisons on an ad-hoc basis.
22:32 – Jonathan wears Guerlain Heritage cologne, which is giving away a big man secret. He has others but won’t reveal them. Seth decides he will have to get a cologne for himself.
0:47 – Seth rips on Jacko for wheeling around in a wheelchair with a crazy Rasta wig in Las Vegas with his messed up kids walking behind him
28:13 – Seth rips on the HBO show Cathouse and the main slut in it, Air Force Amy
51:08 – Seth hammers Will Ferrell and his new shitty movie, Step Brothers. Seth claims he would rather watch his own NASCAR commercial 81 times in a row than watch Talladega Nights again