View Episode 126
Originally aired 08.05.08
1:05:11
39:43 – Seth and Jah take a ride to Craig’s House. They also have been told a story about a dude who lost contact with another guy for 7 years, put out an ad in Missed Connections that just said “Hey Kevin, it’s Blake, will you e-mail me?” And the dude hit him back the next day, but at the end of it the dude ended up not wanting to stay in contact with him. Seth hits up some Casual Encounters. Examples: Can barely tolerate my wife. She’s missing two things: balls. … I love the smell of cinnamon and cum. Not into games or drama. … Just got back from a family BBQ. I need to fuck my dad. No shaved pubes – yuck. I need my father to “dick”tate what my guy cunt will do. Jah: (to video director Guy) “Can I call you Guy Cunt from now on?” Seth: “Yeah I’ve been working with this dude, this great director.” Jah: “Yeah, this amazing director. His name’s Guy Cunt.” … I have a six-day load that needs a home. … Straight marine looking for other straight military men to salute this cock.
30:14 – Newbrella – ultimate weather protector, $59.95, “Look rain, no hands.”
1:00:28 – Seth asks Jah some scientology auditing questions: Have you ever killed the wrong person?; Have you ever made love to a dead body?; Have you ever exterminated a species?; Have you given robots a bad name?; Have you ever smothered a baby?; Have you ever zapped anyone?; Have you ever gone crazy?; and finally, Have you ever made a planet radioactive?
51:47 – Jah brings back the “Who Am I?” segment about Amir Yaghmai, November 1988. This week’s topic is “My Favorites”: My favorite car is a Lamborghini because of its looks and speed. My three favorite rock groups are De Pech Mode, New Order and Information Society because they sound great. (This cracks Seth up to no end. Amir spelled Depeche Mode and Information Society wrong.) My favorite animal is the koala bear because it’s so cuddly. Seth: “Dude. Stop it.” My favorite sport is soccer because it’s good exercise and it’s fun. Seth: “Stop it!!!” My favorite food is pepperoni pizza because it’s spicy and it tastes good. My favorite color is red because it stands out. My favorite clothes are Jimmyzs shorts and any skating t-shirt or something strange or funny. My favorite device at home is TV because you don’t have to use your brain to watch it. My favorite subject in school is English and Social Studies because of the teachers. My favorite book is The Revenge of the Wizard’s Ghost by John Bellairs because it’s mysterious. My favorite skateboard is the Eric Dressen because of its shape. My favorite video game is Galaxian and my favorite comics are Batman and the X-Men.
4:17 – Jah remembers sitting with GNR’s “Lies” and flipping through the booklet and reading Axel’s objectionable lyrics at the time
21:20 – Jah was trying to rescue a dog, and put up signs for a dog that wasn’t his. For two weeks he got calls on his cell phone from these Asian school kids who would say “I have your daaaawg! We want a million dollars or we’re going to turn it into chop suey!!” then hysterically laugh. Jah kept the messages because they were so funny.
24:27 – Seth saw Titanic and loved it, then he went to see Leonardo’s follow-up, The Beach, at Grauman’s Chinese Theater. He bought the tickets two weeks in advance because he thought it would sell out, then he walked into the theater at 7:00 p.m. on a Friday night and there was nobody in the theater
26:04 – Seth went to see the South Park movie with two friends, then found 3 10-year-olds who fit Seth and his buds perfectly and acted like they were brothers
27:15 – Seth and Jah talk about the earthquake that hit Los Angeles the other day. When it hit, Seth was driving to work down Melrose. He watched a woman run out of the Party Store with her arms up, went through the green light at Marino’s restaurant, was listening to “Everything Zen” by Bush on KROC, then he heard nothing on the radio, then he hears the DJ say “Oh my god that was an earthquake.”
35:32 – When Jah’s mom was breastfeeding his sister, she had a friend who had had a kid at the same time, they were both breastfeeding at the same time and suggested swapping babies
51:08 – Jah saw about 15 minutes of a sitcom that used to be on called Living Single. He claims that the opening sequence is so crazy and absolutely astonishing
55:00 – Seth traveled to Oxnard, Calif., last weekend, to see the Dallas Cowboys in training camp. He stood there and waited for Tony Romo, calling out his name. He waved to his favorite cheerleader, Brooke Sorensen
8:22 – Police in Lake Ozark area of Missouri busted a pregnant prostitution ring running out of a hotel this week
15:18 – Seth watches video of Criss Angel escaping from an imploding hotel in Clearwater, Fla., but also sees footage from the local Fox affiliate that spots a figure dressed the same exact way as Criss running out of the adjacent building and lying down in the rubble, then coming out at the same area where the show spots him
17:09 – Lifestyle Condoms has offered Miley Cyrus $1 million and a lifetime supply of condoms to get the word out on safe sex to American teens. She is 15 years old. Jah admits that he was certainly having intercourse at age 15.
19:47 – New scam going on where people say they find your lost dog. You get a phone call, saying they’re a delivery driver and they have a tight delivery schedule and found the dog, they’re four states away, and if they get a Western Union payment they will get the dog back to them by chartering a driver back to them
22:52 – Hot new fashion is eye jewelry, where people attach a string to their contact lens with jewelry on the end of it
26:27 – Google claims it’s now the most comprehensive search engine, now passing over 1 trillion URLs
34:59 – Breastfeeding is at its highest rate in 20 years. The new trend is crossnursing, where you not only breastfeed your own child but your neighbor’s child too
1:40 – This week’s show and every week in August, UYD is being sponsored by Entourage and HBO. Season 5 premieres Sunday, Sept. 7 on HBO.
3:56 – The iPod generation doesn’t know any words to any songs because they don’t have LP or CD booklets to read the words in
6:14 – Five short minutes after announcing Entourage as a sponsor, Jah admits to not knowing who Vinny Chase, the main character of the show, is
19:00 – This is Jah’s birthday week. Jah will be 31 years old on August 7
24:40 – Jah wonders how the pits are doing in this episode, but Seth says they’re not as bad as the previous week
28:57 – Seth reiterates that there are several people in the studio – 10 balls to be exact. “Do the math.”
57:43 – Jah doesn’t want to take the tone down, but tells us about UYD listener Kylie, an 18-year-old undergoing chemotherapy for cancer. Two days a week she goes in for 4 hours to get treatment. She had a chemo partner who sat in the room with her, a 65-year-old named Bob. Kylie was listening to the show one day and Bob asked her what she was listening to, and she split the headphones so they could both listen. Kylie wrote Jonathan last night to inform him that Bob passed away the night before. Bob had mentioned how happy he was to start listening to the show, and called it a “Radio Box Show” and was happy to listen to it and laugh while in quite a bit of pain. Jah dedicates the show to them and thinks it’s the best thing he’s ever encountered in his life.
1:02:25 – Seth is in disbelief that the show has already eclipsed an hour
6:48 – Johns Hopkins University researchers claim that rise in personal listening devices will cause 1 in 3 adults to suffer in recognizable degree in hearing loss. Could have a future generation of deaf people. Jah remembers everyone saying that about Walkmans when we were kids, and thinks that the physics of in-ear headphones allow people to listen to lower volumes, so this isn’t necessarily going to pan out
37:22 – Harvard researchers claim that eating even a half-serving a day of soy-based foods could significantly lower a man’s sperm count. Jah says he can attest to the change in male ejaculate when one has turned vegan. He claims it gets much thinner and also doesn’t taste as bleachy. Seth wants to know how he attests to the second. Jah: “None of your biz dude.” Seth: “None of your jizz.”
12:41 – Charles Crist in 1841 predicted that Cincinnati will be the greatest city in America, and by the year 2000 it will be the greatest city in the world
5:26 – Following Shia Lebouef’s car accident, Seth hammers all the news stations who incorrectly pronounce the young actor’s name
33:00 – Seth is so sick of bicycles because they’re everywhere and they’re so ridiculously slow