View Episode 133
Originally aired 09.20.08
1:07:19
59:39 – 20/20 has a special on Orthorexia (Episode 044, 36:42), an eating disorder characterized by excessive focus on eating healthy foods. There was one guy, Johnny, who weighed 76 pounds
17:30 – Seth asks Jah if he could come up with some crystal meth in an hour, but Jah says probably not. Jah could get cocaine in 45 minutes if Seth could pay for it, however.
17:59 – Seth reads from the catalog MHP (Maximum Human Performance), talking about performance enhancers like “Dren” and what they do to your body. As Seth reads it Jah begins to laugh hysterically
8:06 – Seth saw a picture of Chris Hansen on TMZ. Hansen was smashed, posing with a guy and a girl for a photo.
0:30 – Jonathan and Seth do very polite, politically correct renditions of “Show me the twins!”
2:17 – Seth went into a Taco Bell and couldn’t get past the odor in the lobby. He ordered beans, rice, sour cream and guacamole. They covered the beans in a gross red sauce but didn’t mind the beans as is. The rice was disgusting, the sour cream was just OK and the guacamole was disgusting. He did, however, love the caramel apple empanada, even though it burned his mouth when he bit into it.
8:47 – When Jah was in Barcelona, sitting outside of a topless place waiting to get inside, he was talking with Simon. He looks up and Dallas Raines, an LA meteorologist, is walking past him, and Jah blurted out “Dallas Raines” the same way he did with James Worthy. Jah told Dallas he was awesome. Jah tries to explain what happened, looked up and saw two very attractive teenagers, and realizes that they’re with Joan Allen.
11:37 – Seth saw Shirley McClain in Abiquie, N.M., when he fled there for Y2K. He was standing by a grocery store with his friend John Buckley and had just seen her at the Egyptian in Hollywood.
15:45 – Seth is in Larchmont sitting on a bench, looking at a dude who is so tanned that he’s orange. He’s probably on crystal, wearing denim shorts and a Hollister t-shirt. A girl rolls up to pick him up and goes “You look so F-ing tan!” Orange dude replies “I’ve been tanning my ass off!” and they roll out.
27:25 – Jah has 2 stories, and tells Seth he has to choose. One is something that happened recently and involves someone from the past, while the other one took place many years ago and involved a girl he was having relations with. Seth chooses the most recent one. Here goes: Last weekend Jah went to a bar, PJ’s, with his friend Dimitri. Jah was moderately stoned, got to the door and the song “Californication” is playing at a loud volume. The place is packed with some middle-of-the-road 20-somethings. They get up to the bar, Jah orders a Newcastle, Dimitri orders a cocktail. Jah is turned away from the bar not enjoying himself, and gets a nudge from a dude who says “What are you hippies doing in my bar?” They turn around and it’s a dude his height with a backward canvas hat. The guy talks about “I see you guys from a mile away and it’s like ding-ding-ding.” Guy says his name is Johnny also, and reveals a Ween hat with the song “Johnny on the Spot” on it. Dude gives Jah his phone number and says to come by some time. Jah looks at Dimitri coyly and says “I got a phone number.” D meets a girl there and Jah is out of sorts. The bar starts shutting down, Jah goes outside, they spot two girls and D identifies one as a vegan chef. D asks Jah if he wants to roll to a party with them, and it turns out it’s “Johnny on the Spot’s” house. Jah sees people on the street in front of the place, looks up and sees a guy his age and sees that it’s Mike, a guy who used to be his boy but got kicked out of school in the 11th grade. Jah is pretty sure he was wearing a Phish shirt that he had in 11th grade. Mike, whose last name rhymes with lobotomy, offers to play some songs from his bluegrass band, and they go inside the acid-drenched apartment. A jam ensues, and Johnny on the Spot plays banjo. Dimitri is shut down, and in the middle of the jam Jah gets so uncomfortable that he picks up a guitar and starts playing. There’s a dude playing bongos, and Mike is all of a sudden shirtless. The girls they went with have been drinking a lot, and one of them is basically asleep. The jam ends, Mike moves across the room and puts his arm around the girl. Mike pulls out his phone, and is whispering in the girl’s ear, and Jah tells the girl’s friend that they’re leaving. Mike is pushing up on the girl at this point, 5-6 minutes go by. The girls say Mike is a fucking creep, he was pulling her into the kitchen as they were leaving. Jah declares it was the worst night ever. The guy has Jah’s phone number and is now listening to the show, during which Jah is ripping on him. Seth wishes he would’ve asked for the other story. Jah pledges it will come next week.
47:00 – Seth recalls a school assembly where they pump the smell of marijuana into the school cafeteria, and Seth got upset and said it smelled like his daddy. Seth comes to the realization that his dad would let him ride the go-carts, go for a walk and come back with that weird smell. “Your father has a lot on his mind, son.” Seth: “Yes he does.”
57:31 – Seth recalls that when they first started the show, Jah’s mother thought Seth was really into firefighters and wondered if he had a crush on them (Episode 003, 0:57)
4:21 – Reporter from the Rocky Mountain News was following a story about a 3-year-old boy who was killed in a Baskin Robbins when a truck inadvertently drove into the store. The reporter has supplemented his coverage of the story by tweeting the funeral using Twitter. As he was tweeting he was saying “people are sobbing,” “procession begins,” “people gather at graveside,” etc.
21:20 – In Green Bay, Wis., a 33-year-old woman is accused of stealing her daughter’s identity and then going to high school and trying out for the cheerleading team. She says she had no childhood and was trying to regain a part of her life that she had missed.
24:38 – Hot new trend for upcoming Christmas season is people wrapping gifts with actual sheets of dollar bills
41:42 – Chevrolet is getting hit hard financially and is now scaling back production of the Corvette. Jah’s favorite model year is a 1977, scratch that, a 1973 Stingray.
43:03 – NBC has sold 85% of their Super Bowl ads for 2009
44:35 – 18-to-24-year-olds are more interested in looking at Myspace and Facebook than they are porn sites. Porn use is down for the first time in 10 years
45:06 – Totspot, Lilgrams and Kidmondo are 3 names of social networking sites for infants/toddlers
47:46 – Attorney generals from 25 different states have asked Miller/Coors to ban their new version of Sparks, Sparks Red, which will have the highest volume of alcohol yet
49:08 – Teenage girls across the U.S. wear sweatpants/shorts with writing across the butt. Some girls have started putting their boyfriends’ names put across the shorts (JAH’S ASS). A school district in Texas is issuing denim inmate prison jumpsuits for any girl who wears those to school
58:02 – Four firefighters from San Diego are suing the city for being forced to drive their truck in a 3-hour gay pride parade. The mandatory participation was ordered by their lesbian fire chief. The crowd gave them numerous cat calls and harassment, etc.
5:43 – Jah is getting overwhelmed on his Blackberry, it’s an influx of people talking about the show, typing comments into the UYD webpage which go to his Blackberry, UYD’s Gmail goes to his Blackberry and day-to-day life. He wonders if it would benefit him and the listeners to have everything into one form of technology that he can go to
12:28 – Seth ponders why people say the phrase “Where do you stay?” instead of “Where do you live?” Jah says it happens to him because he’s essentially homeless
46:48 – We hear Jah’s marijuana pipe that has fallen to the floor. Jah denies it but it’s true.
1:06:25 – Jah wishes Seth an early happy birthday in advance of his 35th birthday, Sept. 20. As Seth reminisces about the birth, Jah does a background “Happy Birthday” song and wraps up as Seth talks about his first boner.
56:25 – Researchers have studied the data, ratings and top lists of the hotornot.com website. They found that all men, no matter where they are rated in the scheme, believe they have a chance with the most highly rated attractive women on the site
51:14 – Seth rips the new Domino’s commercial that has the talking piece of rigatoni speaking ebonics with the child actor. He thinks it’s the new rappin’ granny revival, in a strange era where Lil’ Wayne is worshiping Kid Rock
0:00 – We get our first UYD Episode Supplement, lasting 2:07. In this supplement, Seth talks in musclehead/scientific rhetoric about how his Cyclin-GF with ZMA affects his Muscle Precursor Cells (MPCs)