View Episode 154
Originally aired 02.16.09
1:08:52
13:50 – UYD: Pulling the pink out
34:36 – UYD: Settle your own bets, bitch
9:36 – Seth teases Friday’s 20/20 episode where Diane Sawyer is doing an investigative report on the poverty in Appalachia. They did a teaser on Good Morning America that showed that the toothlessness rate is so high because everyone there is addicted to Mountain Dew
30:40 – Jah got to watch an episode of Trading Spaces last night because Dimitri has crazy satellite feeds coming in all the time. The dude from Extreme Makeover was still a carpenter guy at this point. They remade two double-wide trailers for lesbian couples and Jah loved all 30 minutes of it. He wants a listener to tell him they have seen this epi.
8:23 – Seth is going old school with some Diet Dr Pepper because he waited forever to be contacted by PepsiCo about Pepsi Max: “How much Panax do I have to put in my body to get a deal with this company?”
11:18 – Seth: “If you mix Chantix and Panax, you get Mountain Dew.” Jah: “That’s how you make chocolate.” (Episode 016, 7:25)
54:08 – Climate Change Delusion – extreme anxiety in one’s psyche about the possible pending calamities of environmental meltdown. Abject fear and terror of all that will come from global warming
5:00 – A 911 call by Jean Fortune at a Boynton Beach Burger King: “Yeah I’m at a Burger King on Boynton Beach Boulevard.” 911: “What’s going on there?” Fortune: “I’m coming here to buy something. I place an order. When I get there I’m in the window, I tell the lady I want lemonade. Pink lemonade. She says, ‘We don’t have pink lemonade?’ I say, ‘Why don’t you say that to me before?’” 911: “You cannot dial 911 because you’re not happy with your burger. 911 is if you’re dying.”
17:20 – Quick hit: “Leaky boners to the front of the line…”
6:15 – Kenny Chesney, in the March issue of Playboy magazine: “I’m definitely not gay. Man, I was over 100 several years ago. There were years I had better summer than A-Rod buddy, ya know? I got on the boards quite often.”
29:11 – Seth thinks that since Michael Phelps smoked weed, Kellogg’s should replace Phelps with Seth as their pitchman. He pledges that he will remain drug-free and be a good example for children, whereas Jah says he is unable to make that promise
46:28 – Seth ponders that, in these tough economic times, if we all wouldn’t be better off just getting fucked up by ourselves – rather than letting people gather to play Balderdash together
10:31 – Jah can attest to the seriousness of a Mountain Dew addiction, because there was a period of time where he was drinking at least 2-3 of the largemouth 32-ounce Mt. Dews. It started giving him intense stomach problems and blistering panic at night. At 2:00 in the afternoon he would get crazy hankerings for it.
34:39 – When Seth was in college, he remembers arguing with friends for hours at night, and all they could do was call a bunch of people and try to combine the average of all the answers and still could never figure out what the answer was
37:40 – Jonathan was with Dimitri and saw MC Hammer on Saturday night, as close as he and Seth are right now, at an art gallery opening downtown that was thrown by Will.i.am and his company. Will.i.am DJ’d. Kelis was there. Jah didn’t touch Hammer. Hammer had a crazy white bodyguard with him. Jah turned to D and said he would feel like an asshole if he didn’t take it to Hammer and shake his hand. As he went to do it, the huge bodyguard gave him a look and basically told him not to do it.
38:27 – Jah wonders if he talked about seshing out with Al B. Sure! a couple weeks ago and talking about his kid on VH1 and laughing about what a hack the kid is
39:23 – Seth saw MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice perform together in 1990 at the Worcester Centrum Centre (now the DCU Center). Jah was supposed to go to that concert in L.A. after the East Coast tour. His dad helped him get tickets. He was in acting camp and there was a girl that taught there that was 2 years older than him who was smoking hot. Jah was like, “Let’s do this. We’re gonna fuck.” Three nights before the concert, there’s the same concert in another city, and there was a stabbing or a shooting in the audience. His old man bugs out and said he couldn’t go, so Jah threw a screaming bitch fit. He was so vehement about it that his old man was researching getting a bodyguard to go with Jonathan to accompany them to the concert. Ultimately Jah backed out on the idea because even at 13 he knew it sounded a little crazy. He remembers having to come up with some reason to tell the girl why he couldn’t go (Episode 024, 32:00).
50:36 – The same night he saw Hammer, Jah thought about Seth because he was at another party later on in the evening and started having a conversation with Devendra Banhart about the fact that he and Andy Cabic from Vetiver are all obsessed with The Pickup Artist and they’ve all started using it in their lives and given themselves nicknames. Devendra was given the name “Plasma” by Andy. Seth and Jah wonder what their dope “pickup artist” names should be. Jah gives Seth the name “Sexth.”
54:47 – At that same party, sitting outside smoking a bowl with a bunch of different people, there was one dude with a Blackberry who was like “Oh! I just got an awesome e-mail. David Icke is speaking…” As he says the name Jah looks over at Dimitri and Dimitri goes into craziness about draco-reptilians, which goes into DMT, etc., and a young small unassuming girl next to Jah starts talking about drinking liquid DMT like 3 months ago. All of the 5 people next to Jah talk about how DMT changed their lives
57:14 – Jah was a Camel man as a teenager, which was because his father would get free cigarettes from Camel. There were cartons and cartons of Camel Wides that got sent to him, and Jah would go to the set and in the desk on the set in the office were cartons, and he would come by and say hi and grab a carton and throw them in the back of his car and take off
59:25 – Jah can’t remember the name of the girl who he had a crush on in his acting class, maybe Michelle or something. He thinks she dated Brian Austin Green a couple years after that because he remembers seeing them out
1:01:58 – Jonathan was so kind that he purchased Seth a microphone for Christmas two years ago (Episode 045, 47:55), an Audix OM2 that comes in its own box and case. Seth thinks he’s going to start carrying it around with him just as an actor carries around his sides or a musician carry around his gear. The microphone has since had technical difficulties and they don’t use it anymore for recording the show.
1:03:15 – Seth recalls he was in Ogunquit, Maine, the day he heard the news that New Coke was coming out and the world stopped turning. Jah doesn’t remember where he was, but he remembers being hellbent on getting his hands on one. Seth and his cousin Eric were devastated because Seth is a Coke man.
1:08 – A coach of a N.H. high school boys and girls swim team has been fired for some inappropriate t-shirts: ONE TREE, ONE TEAM AT A TIME (in reference to a member of the team who had crashed into a tree and went into a temporary coma); and one that read THE MASCOT IS A QUITTER (mocking a player with the last name “Mascot” who had quit the team); and he has now made a t-shirt for the girls team that reads THE WETTER, THE BETTER.
13:53 – California is set to release 57,000 inmates over the next two years because of some possible overcrowding
16:41 – This Wednesday, Koby Teeth will unveil his new line of clothing called TK Steelmen – described as “Country Sexy.” It will launch at his new bar, I Love This Bar & Grill at Harrah’s in Las Vegas. Age demographic is between 25-54. They are covered in oilfield imagery, they contain sleeveless shirts, tight Ts, hoodies, jeans, cowboy hats, baseball hats, bandanas, belts and leather wrist straps. The line will be available at Kohl’s, Target and Wal-Mart. J-Dog wonders if he can wear only clothing made by Koby Teeth and LL Cool J. This devolves into the new name of their podcast, “Straight Talk With TK & Steelmen.”
20:30 – The price of a stamp will be rising from 42 cents to 44 cents on May 11 (Episode 012, 51:41). Seth encourages everyone to just buy $10,000 worth of Forever Stamps
22:48 – There are more reported cases of sexual assaults on the campus of UC-Davis than all other California universities combined. (Jah: “Just so you know Jogger will be playing a show at UC-Davis.”) Representatives from the school say it’s actually a very positive thing because it shows that their students are more willing and more comfortable at reporting crimes when they occur.
24:25 – Recorded message at the Kellogg’s consumer hotline this week: “If you would like to share your comments regarding our relationship with Michael Phelps, please press 1 to speak to a representative. If you’re calling about the recent peanut butter recall, please press 2 now.”
29:51 – In these tough economic times, there are things called “economic parties” or “stimulus parties,” ways of friends gathering “on the cheap.” There are “pink slip parties” where people gather together to commiserate and talk about new ways of finding jobs; and “coupon parties,” people who gather together, share coupons and savings tips with each other
36:15 – Six million people still have rabbit ears on their television in 2009. They have moved up the digital conversion day from this Tuesday because people can’t pull it together. Jah thinks it’s because the government is installing monitoring chips on every TV
39:08 – MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice will be performing together Friday, Feb. 27, 2009 at the McKay Events Center in Orem, Utah. Seth said he wouldn’t mind going if he hadn’t already seen Hammer and Ice perform in 1990 at the Worcester Centrum.
43:12 – Downtoearth.com is geared to those new to web-based dating services. You get to rate the truthfulness of photos and profiles. These are people who are “real.” Seth wants to know what the “25 Random Things About Me” thing on Facebook is that Jah keeps getting sent from listeners.
45:09 – Board games are also making a huge comeback because they're cheap, easy, safe entertainment. Seth is an only child so he’s never played a board game in his life. Jah can only recommend one: Balderdash.
48:10 – Seth read about people who carpooled to D.C. for inauguration parties and stayed with other people in dorms because hotels were all sold out
59:48 – Members of PETA dressed up like KKK members and stood outside of Madison Square Garden in New York, the site of the Westminster Dog Show. They held signs and shouted at onlookers that the American Kennel Club is trying to create a “master race of purebred dogs” and that purebred dogs are just “pure bloodlines being manipulated for world domination.”
1:02:56 – Coca-Cola will drop the word “Classic” from its Coke product. Classic was added in 1985 with the introduction of New Coke, which was discontinued in 2004.
0:57 – Seth wants to know if it’s Friday the 13th yet so he can spook Jah at midnight
3:14 – Seth is stoked to go see the upcoming feature film Fired Up!, about Sean and Nick, the star players on their HS football team, who decide to go to cheerleading camp instead of a double session of football camp. They’re having a great time until one of them falls for the head cheerleader, who happens to have a boyfriend. To win her over they have to prove their intentions and make up new moves before the final cheer-off.
11:30 – Seth hands something to Jah that he ripped out of a book he had, which was inscribed from one of Seth’s dad’s friends to Seth’s dad. He asks Jah to read it. The book is “Baby, That Was Rock And Roll: The Legendary Leiber and Stoller.” The inscription reads: Joey: I can dig it, they can dig it, we can dig it. Can you dig it? 12/24/79 Are you ready for the 80s?
37:06 – Jah asks Seth if he’s familiar with Singular City magazine, a hip L.A. singles magazine which Amir gets delivered to his home for some reason.
1:04:55 – Seth thanks the fine people at Sports Illustrated for their annual swimsuit edition. Jah calls it “a doozy of an ish.”
1:06:40 – In these tough economic times, Seth hopes this free podcast will enable people to have UYD Parties
1:08:24 – Seth: “What’s it like to have the shit scared out of you on Friday the 13th?”
56:43 – The Center for Disease Control has issued a study on teen smokers – 52% prefer Marlboros, while 21% prefer Newports. However, 75% of black teens prefer Newports and 13% prefer Camels.
33:00 – Seth dips back in to some Parade magazine Q&A where people randomly write in questions and Parade answers: Lisa Jensen of Casper, Wyo: “I heard that Mindfreak daredevil Criss Angel died doing a stunt. True?” Answer: “False. The tattooed illusionist emerged from a recent stunt on his A&E series with serious scrapes and bruises, but it is true that his Angel feels like he has died and gone to heaven. He’s dating Holly Madison, one of Hugh Hefner’s stunning former girls next door.” Another question: “Settle this bet between my husband and I – I say that Spencer Tracy was in 30 movies. My husband says he was in 60. Tell us who wins the bet?” Another question: “What’s the story with Paris Hilton? Her behavior seems so unsavory?”
14:45 – Jah and Seth blast the upcoming Transformers sequel
15:20 – Seth saw The Cure on a late-night talk show singing music, and doesn’t think they looked too good.
19:37 – Seth and Jah hammer Coldplay for trying to wear Sergeant Pepper Beatles rigouts
26:02 – Jah goes off on the whole incident behind Michael Phelps smoking weed: “There’s no way Kellogg’s is not cutting you out of your fucking endorsement, no matter what you say! Why are you getting on camera and just sucking massive fucking dick? And not just going, like, I fucked up. I shouldn’t have done it in a place where there was some douchebag who was going to take a picture of me with a fucking iPhone. I’m 22. I smoke weed. We all smoke weed. What’s up world?! … Just be a fucking man and stand up for yourself!”
34:12 – Seth goes off on a “stupid bitch” who drafted a letter and mailed it into Parade magazine to try to settle a bet between her and her husband
48:37 – Seth hammers people who are reading books and trying to be uplifted by them: “If you can read a book and it can change your life, you’re totally fucked. You’re more fucked than you were in the first place when you sat down to read the book!” Jah: “Unless it’s The Secret, because that shit works.” (Episode 052, 0:17). Jah isn’t sure if he’s on board, because he’s had certain records that have changed his life. Seth agrees and says “cut the fuck” because that’s cool.
1:01:04 – Jah hammers PETA because it’ll be another year before they reach out to vegetarian podcasters like them and they’ll just end up having to turn them down
1:08:30 – Seth: “Hey, Jason. Fuck off Jason.”