View Episode 158
Originally aired 03.16.09
Originally recorded 01.21.06
2:17 – Runway Mom on Discovery Health Network because pregnant moms are a hot market
4:33 – Celebrity Fit Club III with Jeff Conaway – he went loco and claimed he was touched by a pedophile. Young MC is also on the show
2:53 – Royal Scam in a Minnesota high school – a British transfer student claims to be a duke in England. School newspaper finds out he’s actually a 22-year-old dude from Florida and a registered sex offender
27:47 – Coca-Cola’s new flavor, Black Cherry Vanilla
2:37 – OUT: Thin. IN: Pregnant
23:24 – New Orleans mayor Ray Nagin, during a MLK celebration, gave a meandering speech in which he imagined himself talking to the late civil rights leader. He also spoke about New Orleans becoming “chocolate” again (Episode 016, 7:25), an apparent reference to “Chocolate City,” the 1970s recording by Parliament, which called on blacks to fill the urban void left by White Flight. At one point Nagin joked he might be suffering from “Post Katrina Stress Disorder.” When asked by a TV reporter afterward whether his vision of a chocolate city might be racially devisive, Nagin said, “Do you know anything about chocolate? How do you make chocolate? You take dark chocolate, you mix it with white milk and it becomes a delicious drink. That’s the kind of chocolate I’m talkin’ about.”
Games That Jonathan and Seth Play
28:57 – Jah wonders how to spell rudebaga and takes a stab at it – R-U-D-I-B-A-G-A
0:28 – Jah talks about getting clean and the last time he did drugs 11 years ago before this lost episode aired
0:28 – Jah has not had a mind-altering substance (alcohol, drugs, men) for 11 years on this day. He was 17 the last time he partook in something. It was finals week his senior year of high school and he smoked a bongload and had the worst panic attack of his entire life and wanted to blow his head off. It was similar to when he saw King Kong. He’s celebrating at midnight tonight by having one-half of a wine cooler.
4:55 – Jah’s friend just played a hip-hop/casino event with Young MC and said he was a complete asshole. MC acted like he was the biggest star ever. Jah’s friend was playing and the place was packed, and when they got off stage the place emptied and Young MC played to 10 people at the Chimichanga Casino.
19:42 – Seth reveals that Jah quit smoking, and they were at a bar the other night, where people were standing outside talking about a football game and smoking, and he slapped a girl’s face. Jah says he has been wanting to smoke so bad.
3:46 – The Iranian president claims there was no Holocaust, Israel should be wiped off the map and in a UN summit in 2005, came back to Iran and told his aides that during 28 minutes of the summit a glow of light surrounded him and all the world’s leaders did not blink. Right after that he went golfing with Kim Jong Il and had nine hole-in-ones.
5:34 – Luther from 2 Live Crew is suing 50 Cent over “In Da Club”
6:43 – The Winchester Gun Factory in Connecticut is slated to shut down. The company has been hurt by slumping firearm sales. About 19,000 people worked in the plant during World War II, and now there are less than 200.
7:49 – February 1, German police officers have been banned from sporting ponytails, stubbly beards and earrings in order to tidy up their appearance for the World Cup this summer. Seth thinks you can’t say “German police” without saying “beards or ponytails.”
8:37 – Vermont judge gives man 60 days in jail for cursing at her – the same sentence a rapist in Vermont got last week for raping a girl from the time she was 6 to age 10.
9:27 – A boy who asked to be set on fire has been hospitalized. A 13-year-old from Orange was hospitalized and his 15-year-old friend was arrested on suspicion of assault after the older teen complied with the friend’s request to be set on fire. The incident occurred about 8:30 a.m. Saturday at the victim’s home on Bourbon St. Witnesses say the 13-year-old doused his shirt with cologne and asked his friend to squirt him with lighter fluid and ignite the shirt. The boy was reported critical but stable condition at UCI.
10:40 – A 23-year-old kindergarten teacher at Westwood Charter Elementary School was stabbed to death Wednesday morning shortly after she called police to say her former boyfriend was at the door of the West Chester home she shared with her parents. Before she hung up she told police that her 24-year-old boyfriend was breaking in and she was going to hide. He came in, armed himself with a knife from the kitchen and stabbed her. Afterward he went outside, doused himself in a flammable liquid and lit himself on fire in his car. The girl had found out he had a girlfriend on the side, the 2 girls found out he was lying to both of them and they agreed to not see him again, so this was his retribution.
13:17 – Conan O’Brien looks like Finland’s first female president. His show and the president figured this out, and she mentioned it in one of her campaign ads because of his popularity over there.
14:07 – William Shatner sold his kidney stone for $20,000, and donated the money to Habitat for Humanity.
14:54 – Terry O’Neal, Steelers fan, had a heart attack when Jerome Bettis fumbled the ball in the Colts game. When he came out of the heart attack, the first thing out of his mouth was “Did we win?”
15:59 – A face transplant patient, the world’s first successful one (in France), has resumed smoking. Her face was missing because a dog ate off her face. She was unable to speak or eat. The doctors said it could interfere with her healing and raise the risk of tissue rejection. The French woman’s surgeons made their first scientific presentation on the partial face transplant, performed on Nov. 27 at a medical conference in Tuscon.
20:28 – The apparent suicide of a 38-year-old Japanese venture capitalist has added a sinister aura to the investigation into the dealings of the Takafumi Hori. The brash internet entrepreneur at the center of the drama has roiled stock markets. The body of Hideki Naguchi, a former executive with Hori’s multi-billion dollar live door company online media services empire was discovered Wednesday night at a business hotel in Okinawa. Sources say he slashed his wrists.
21:30 – A mechanic was sucked into a jet engine and killed while passengers were boarding a plane, officials in El Paso said. The National Safety Transporation Board spokesman said she didn’t know if anyone saw the accident, which occurred on a Boeing 757 operated by Continental. Because of an earlier problem with the engine, its metal covering was opening at the time. 114 passengers and 5 crew members were boarding at the time.
22:10 – JT LeRoy, a 25-year-old transsexual novelist whose mother pimped him as a cross-dressed child prostitute and got his first book deal at 17, does not exist. It was really Laura Albert, 40-year-old writer, mom and former phone sex technician
28:17 – 2 million gallons of untreated sewage spewed out of manhole covers in some residential pipes Sunday in Manhattan Beach. Dried bits of toilet paper and black scum, a plume of foul debris smelling like rudebaga appeared on the streets.
30:00 – A woman was accused of poisoning her husband and son by lacing their milkshakes with prescription drugs.
30:41 – In Japan, scientists have put a hamster in a cage with a snake for food, but the snake decided not to eat it. Instead they’re living together and fucking. The hamster lays on the snake and sleeps.
31:48 – A fan of the Cleveland Browns during a regular season game ran out on the field and got bodyslammed by Steelers linebacker Joey Porter. The judge could’ve jailed him for up to 30 days but only jailed him for 3 days – Feb. 3-5, with the Super Bowl being on the 5th. He’s not allowed to watch it, listen to it, etc.
0:11 – Jah calls this “Jesus and John, Episode 2, 12:41 a.m. on Jan. 21.” This is also Jah’s mother’s birthday
6:19 – Seth wonders if he could look any more awkward the first time he’s ever been on the mic. Jah says they’re both using microphones this week.
32:54 – Seth said they didn’t have much material and they tried their best, but they were both very tired going into this recording. Jah wonders if they just started again, would it be funnier? Jah says it would be smoother, not necessarily funnier, but it would allow them to know where they’re going to go next. After Seth confirms they did 30 minutes, the show ends abruptly.
13:50 – Jah blasts Craig Ferguson and can’t believe he thought it was going to work out.
26:40 – Jah pisses on people who say people who talk like assholes are “controversial,” as opposed to just “stupid.”