View Episode 164
Originally aired 05.05.09
54:15 – After saying it, a generous applause ensues.
6:44 – Jah wants to know if anybody watches TV anymore besides Seth, because he thinks he is free-floating through space at this point and has disconnected.
11:02 – Seth talks about the Craig’s List Killer, and wants to know how this kid can kill somebody and everyone around him can continue to defend him. If Jah killed somebody Seth would automatically assume he was guilty.
16:20 – Seth wonders why it’s taken so long to have a Craig’s List killer, but Jah thinks a shit-ton of people have died because of Craig’s List.
16:56 – 24-year-old Shawn Skelton went on Craig’s List and posted an invitation for sex. The Seattle resident was contacted by an undercover police officer who posed as a woman who was willing to meet at a local motel to have sex and then be killed by Skelton. He specifically stated “serious inquiries only.” He showed up with a knife and a chain.
9:05 – Domino’s has a new bread bowl pasta, and Seth thinks this constitutes him egging it – but Jah thinks Seth has bitched out on that. “Pasta so good you’ll devour the bowl.” Starts at $5.99, and comes in pasta primavera, 3-cheese mac and cheese, Italian sausage marinara, chicken alfredo and chicken carbonara.
51:58 – Embedded Foods – food and drink infused with positive intentions via prayer, music and thought. California company H2Ohm sells water infused with wishes for love, joy and perfect health via the words, symbols and colors of the label which create specific vibratory frequency. Creo Mundi, a Canadian protein powder company, gathers its employees around each shipment and state out loud the benefits they hope to lace their product with. Intentional Chocolate uses a special recording device to capture the electromagnetic brain waves of meditating Tibetan monks. The chocolate then “hears” these recordings for five straight days for each batch.
Games That Jonathan and Seth Play
1:17 – Being that next Sunday is Mother’s Day, Seth has Jah do an “Every Kiss Begins With Kay.”
13:20 – Kentucky Derby was run on Saturday, so Seth gives Jah 3 names – one is a horse, one is a strain of medical marijuana sold in West Hollywood and one created in his mind’s eye: 1) Westside Bernie (Horse), Buried Treasure (Fake), Sunny Side Up (Marijuana); 2) Smoke on the Water (M), Burnt Toast (F), Atomic Rain (H); 3) Lemonade (F), Hubba Bubba (M), Chocolate Candy (H); 4) Let’s Hear it for the Boy (F), Polite With a Punch (M), Mister Hot Stuff (H). Jah gets none of them completely correct, but gets a round of applause nonetheless.
51:11 – Seth asks Jah what the acronym NIMBY stands for. Jah says “Not In My Butt, Yo.” The correct answer is “Not In My Back Yard.”
4:52 – Jah says that taking psilocybin mushrooms helped him beat Swine Flu
0:52 – Jah begins to tell the story about the first time he ever dipped at survival camp when he was a teenager (Episode 081, 21:58).
6:57 – Life changed a little bit for Jah in the last year or so, so in his current situation he no longer has cable TV or high-speed internet access. One benefit of this, however, is he’s seeing posters all over the street now that he has no idea what they are, and it’s been very liberating for him.
7:59 – Seth got a voicemail message from a listener who said he DVR’d Southland but he wasn’t down with it, saying Seth’s TV Picks are falling off.
37:27 – Seth was in Astro Burger on Gower and Melrose, and sees deaf actress Marlee Matlin on CNN during a book signing. She is accompanied by a dude who has to sign for her. He’s talking and the closed-captioning is on, which is 5 minutes behind what he’s saying and it’s showing symbols and things that aren’t even letters.
40:08 – Jah saw some crazy pilot girls going into the Oakwoods the other day and almost got in a really bad collision with them. They had Nevada plates and had the look in their eyes of being a movie star.
44:00 – Jah had bed bugs this year. He said it sucked. He got rid of them pretty quickly, but he described it as being like “body crabs.” He was couch-surfing for a year so he assumes he got them from somebody’s nasty couch (probably Amir’s).
46:15 – Jah did a terrible thing on a school bus once where he got caught being a cock to a car, and then the person told the bus driver and Jah got in trouble. He only took the bus for a period of time, and just remembers making himself breathe really heavily and pass out (Episode 157, 0:30).
1:57 – According to the National Catholic Reporter, the founder of a religious order that treats Roman Catholic priests who molest children concluded in the 1950s that the sex offenders were highly unlikely to change, and should not be returned to any ministry. The Rev. Gerald Fitzgerald, founder of the Servants of the Paracles, was so sure of the priests’ inability to control themselves that he tried to buy an island and isolate them from any children.
3:12 – William Fell, 61, worked for the Alexandria Department of Transportation for 17 years. According to police, Fell spent the last year going to work at 3 a.m., well before his shift began, emptying all the coin canisters from the parking meters all over the city. He would fill up personal bags with nickels, dimes and quarters and at his house he had roughly $177,000 stashed.
8:23 – Lilith Fair is coming back in 2010.
9:57 – Article in Newsweek tells of two unmarried single parents who met on Second Life. They’re basically married to each other even though they’re geographically separated. They wear headphones to bed so they can hear each other breathing through Skype.
19:02 – Tupac Shakur was seen at a bar in New Orleans drinking. TMZ has photos of it.
20:51 – Overland Park, Kan. – doorbell rings, Kim Mertin opens the door and there’s a U.S. Census worker on her porch with a clipboard. He asks how many people live there, he comments on her blouse, and asks her if she wants a backrub. He asks her if she was wearing pink panties, and she calls the police and tells them he was playing with himself while standing on the porch. It turns out he really was a census worker.
22:15 – Creed is getting back together. Jah recalls Scott Stapp getting involved with a prostitute scandal with Kid Rock (Episode 003, 44:37). Stapp calls the reunion a “rebirth.” Jah says he’ll go to it.
25:06 – Desperate for new revenue streams, auctioneers in several states have begun auctioning off grocery store items, unloading either too-dented or too-close-to-their-expiration-date foods to be sold in stores.
30:31 – This Tuesday, make it a girls’ night in with Bride Wars.
30:53 – Seth has an obituary for Chuck Dimmick, 50, of Arizona. He was the director of marketing for Lund Cadillac Group. He passed away suddenly while attending a NASCAR race to watch his favorite driver, Jeff Gordon. In the obit: “We are sure he would still want you to know that 0.9% financing is still available on all new 2008 Hummer H2s.”
31:45 – Another interesting obit: Jack Lorkie, 85, just passed away. He went to WW2 at age 19. On four different occasions, soldiers died on both sides of him. When he got discharged they called him “Lucky.” He was waiting to get on the military plane to come back to the U.S., gets bumped off for a senior military official and then the plane crashes and kills everyone on board. He goes to a minor league baseball team, they’re on the road eating lunch and he gets a call saying he got called up and needs to catch a ride back to Spokane, Wash., for the game. He says goodbye to the team, hitchhikes and takes a bus there, then the bus crashes and kills everyone after he gets off.
33:52 – The guy who designed the Twitter bird logo got paid $6. It was chosen using a term Wired magazine called “crowdsourcing,” a casting call for graphic designers to create a logo. The woman who designed the Nike swoosh got paid $35.
35:06 – The Department of Transportation in Delaware is under fire for a diversity spotlight newsletter they let out to 2,600 workers. A section was called “The N-Word” but spelled it out and said it was never good to use the word. In another section titled “Comments You Would Never Want to Make to a Co-Worker,” in reference to LGBTs it said, “Hey, (homophobic slur), have you ever thought about getting help?” To Asian co-workers, “You must be the new I.T. guy.” To other African American co-workers, “Should we order fried chicken and watermelon for you?” To elderly co-workers, “You know Wal-mart is hiring.” To Hispanic and Latino co-workers, “Could you help me with my landscaping?” A spokesman for the DDOT said, “Is it in-your-face? Absolutely. It’s bold. Yeah it is.”
39:45 – There was a recall of HydroxyCut
40:25 – Ed Hardy has released a line of wine. Jah says he’s released a line of life. He has teamed up with a dentist to do toothbrushes, dental floss and mouthwash.
41:56 – The American Association of Wine Economists held a blind taste test with 18 volunteers. Five foods were sampled – duck liver mousse, pork liver paté, pureed liverwurst, Spam and Newman’s Own Dog Food. Only 3 people identified the dog food. Four people thought the Spam was dog food.
43:29 – Environmental Protection Agency, with the help from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), held the first National Bed Bug Summit to address the alarming increase of bed bug infestation. Entymologists from the University of Kentucky said, “In my opinion, we’re not going to get out of this thing until we allow the pest control industry to go to war.”
45:01 – A school bus driver in Charleston, W.V., is in trouble for allowing a man to board the bus in the parking lot of the school and hit a 14-year-old who was on it. 25-year-old Joshua Sean Beaver claims that a group of students were flashing him the middle finger in traffic in a residential area. He followed them 15 minutes, gets on the bus, points at one student, walks to the back, knocking kids out of the way, hits the kid in the back of the head and says “Remember my name now. It’s Josh Beaver.”
46:48 – Now that John Madden retired, what is Frank Caliendo going to do?
47:42 – A woman named Lorane Wasserman owns a fragrance business in Torrance called Escential Resources. She provides scents for companies and attractions, such as Fear Fest, The Halls of Terror, and Extreme Fear Haunted Attractions. Some of her signature perfectly recreated scents are Raw Sewage, Stinky Cheese, Decay, Compost, Dead Rat. Her quote: “It may smell ugly, but the sweet smell of money is what counts.”
0:17 and 0:31 – The audience laughter in the background reveals that this is indeed a live UYD show
0:24 – Seth didn’t know if Jah could smoke in the theater so he brought him some Camel Snus for him. The tagline – “Your cigarettes might get jealous.”
1:32 – Jah wonders if everyone can hear them OK, because he finds it ridiculous that they’re holding microphones that aren’t amplified to the people in front of them.
3:56 – Seth asks Jah that if he were one of the states that didn’t have Swine Flu, would they feel like they were left out of the mix? Jah wants to know what Swine Flu is, because he doesn’t think he needs to worry about it. He thinks he had it for 24 hours.
8:34 – Jah hasn’t given any thought to what they’re doing for Prom, but after Seth tells him the theme is Hawaiian leis, Jah says he’s in.
17:58 – Seth wants to know if people use Classmates.com. Jah says no way.
18:31 – This show is brought to you by Facebook.
53:47 – After listing off the other podcasts that are featured on iTunes (Adam Carolla, Prairie Home Companion and Onion News Network) along with UYD, Jah and Seth bump it and get a round of applause.
19:23 – Four new studies in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology suggest that watching TV can drive away feelings of loneliness and rejection. Just thinking about a favorite TV program bufferered subjects against drops in self esteem. A viewer’s fictional bond with the TV characters can help ease the need to connect with real people. When Seth watches COPS he gets that way. Jah thinks he maybe felt that way about The Wonder Years.
27:44 – A study presented at the annual meeting of experimental biology last week in New Orleans done by researchers at Baylor College of Medicine took 108 students ages 13-16. They gave half the students sugar-free gum to chew, and the other half no gum. The students who chewed gum had a 3% increase in standardized math scores. They also seemed to require fewer breaks, could sustain attention longer and remained quieter. The study was sponsored and paid for by the Wrigley Science Institute.
49:02 – A telephone survey conducted by the Opinion Research Group had a breakdown of responses to the question, “If your house were burning down, and you could take only one thing with you, what would it be?” 50% said photo album, 20% said money, 13% said laptops, 7% said pets, 2% said jewelry. Jah thinks the answers are bogus and wants the Wrigley Science Institute to redo the survey.
29:08 – 155,000 Philips Senseo Coffeemakers, made in China and sold nationwide, have been recalled because they have faulty electrical systems and they cause a calcium buildup from the water and burst open and splash hot coffee in your face.
23:29 – Seth reads from AARP magazine when it asks how the elderly pinch pennies. Joe Reber of Webster, N.Y. – You know, each night I have to make several trips to the bathroom because of my incontinence. So to save on electricity, I bought a battery-powered push light for $1, and then I bought some small screws and I attached the screws to the pushlight and put it on the bottom of the toilet seat. Now I just tap the light after raising the seat and whoopee! … James Kipp of Tonawanda, N.Y. – I put money into a plastic container with water and then I freeze it. When I see something I want to buy that I know I have to have, by the time the money’s defrosted I don’t want it anymore.
26:10 – Parade magazine letters: Linda Palubicky of Winona, Minn., asks: “Who’s the cute curly-haired singer in those FreeCreditReport.com commercials?” The answer: “Well, judging from all the female reader response, French Canadian actor Eric Violette has already won many fans. The 27-year-old bachelor tells us ‘Being known in America but not Quebec helps me to keep my feet on the ground.’”
28:33 – Seth hammers the Wrigley Science Institute for their wack studies
42:57 – Seth rips on Sean Fanning, the Napster inventor, still rocking his baseball hats, for trying to create a Facebook for gamers.
5:03 – Seth gives us more Rooney: You know, I’ve always liked presents. People send me a lot of things and I wish they wouldn’t. Look at this, a few things that have come in recently – someone sent me this sports whistle. Why would anyone send me a sports whistle? This thing goes under the door, keeps the draft out. The American government in action – it’s a game. I never cared much for games. This is a pair of socks. I don’t know who they’re for, but they come up over my knees. I don’t know what these two bags are for – why would anyone send me two bags anyway? This is called Almond Orange Honey, but I never like honey. I said I liked fudge, and then I never got any good fudge anymore, so a lot of people send me good fudge. I said I shine my own shoes and the letter that came with this said this stuff brings leather back to life. I’ll see if it brings my shoes back to life.