View Episode 175
Originally aired 07.20.09
1:05:04
4:40 – Seth watched a documentary on CNBC called Porn: The Business of Pleasure. He said it was so-so because no one in the building knows anything about it. They had a clip from Vegas that showed Sacha Grey taking a picture with a guy, and another short goateed man walked up to her timidly, grabbed her hand and gently kissed it.
11:09 – Seth saw T-Pain at the BET Awards wearing a $410,000 chain that says BIG ASS CHAIN. Seth also saw Chris Brown this week with a $300,000 chain that says OOPS.
23:13 – Seth thanks John Larroquette for his performance this week on The Craig Ferguson Show for wearing a black UYD t-shirt during his interview. Seth thinks it’s a good thing the shirt wasn’t discussed that much, because it would’ve been hard for Mr. Ferguson to comprehend what comedy and laughter are.
48:39 – Premiering this Tuesday, July 21 at 10 p.m. on The Discovery Channel: The Colony. “What would you do in the wake of a global catastrophe? How would you find the very basics of survival – food, water, shelter? The Colony is a controlled experiment that attempts to determine exactly what it would take to survive and rebuild a functioning new society.”
1:00:43 – One listener is hating on Seth because he was trying to watch NYC Prep, and then he had a dream that PC took his ex-girlfriend out on a date and it fucked his whole shit up.
35:00 – Jah loves Uhh Yeah Dude, Seth, the website and the forums, however he doesn’t see everything on the forums. His mom reads more on the forums than Jah does, and is kind of a lurker because she doesn’t post all that often. Jah did not know that people had started regaling UYD with crazy stories of how their own moms are momming harder. Seth was a latch key kid and Jah was a lucky motherfucker. Seth’s mom still says things to Seth, asking him if she did a good enough job raising him. Seth said one of the coolest things his mom did for him is he threw a rock through a school bus window, admitted it to her and she told Seth’s principal he didn’t do it. She is en route to visit Seth right now.
29:27 – Seth and Jah discuss Jelly Belly candies. Jah says Amir’s theory is that if you mix a butter popcorn Jelly Belly with any of the fruit flavors, it automatically tastes like a cake flavor of any of those. The new kinds are BeanBoozled, which have awesome flavors matched by super whack ones with the same color: 1) Licorice / Skunk Spray, 2) Banana / Pencil Shavings, 3) Buttered Popcorn / Rotten Egg, 4) Berry Blue / Toothpaste, 5) Peach / Barf, 6) Juicy Pear / Booger, 7) Caramel Corn / Moldy Cheese, 8) Coconut / Baby Wipes, 9) Café Latte / Ear Wax, and 10) Plum / Black Pepper. The two new flavors are Strawberry Jam / Centipede and Chocolate Pudding / Canned Dog Food.
Games That Jonathan and Seth Play
44:05 – Have more people been killed by wood chippers or pet pythons in the last 20 years? Jah answers correctly – wood chippers. Jah would rather be killed by a python.
52:56 – Jah asks Seth what is the most amount of money he’s ever seen in person? Seth simply says he has seen “some brown paper bag shit,” then admits to seeing $21,000. Jah has seen a couple-hundred Gs, about $150,000. No cocaine or ecstacy were in said room.
4:05 – Seth went to Tijuana one day and it was the only time he’s ever left the country. There’s a lot of things he can’t discuss about the trip, but he does recall that it was hot, he was walking down a cobblestone street and a one-armed man whispered the word “cervezas” and called him into a building. That’s the last thing he remembers.
6:57 – Jah used to go to the NAMM (National Association of Music Merchants) show every year to check out all the new gear from all the top companies back when he was a total nerd. In the lower levels you’d see all the boutique guys who were just starting out with new companies and he would find rad FX pedals, etc., but upstairs with all the big companies like Gibson you get all the huge-titted girls that come with it. They’re also available for photo ops. Jah says there’s something about watching men who are friends who go together to the show, find those girls and wait in line and put their bodies around them to have their pictures taken. He says there’s always a glimmer of hope from these guys that they’ll fall in love and run off together.
16:16 – Seth was standing in Whole Foods minding his own business, waiting to purchase a Think Thin bar and cherry soy yogurt. He’s feeling some heat and casually looks over to see Michael C. Hall (Dexter) staring at him. Seth says this happened to him a couple weeks ago as well. As he puts it, to look up and see Dexter eyeballing you is “scary as fuck.” Seth played it cool and extended the stare a bit more but was shaking on the inside.
1:43 – A New Hampshire man says he swiped his debit card at a gas station to buy a pack of cigarettes. He was charged more than $23 quadrillion. John Muszynski checked his account online a few hours later and saw the 17-digit number. He said he had to spend more than two hours on the phone with Bank of America trying to explain to them what happened and not have to pay the $15 overdraft fee they charged him.
9:46 – The world’s longest yard sale, otherwise known as the U.S. 127 Corridor Sale, a 4-day, 654-mile annual extravaganza that stretches from West Unity, Ohio to Gadsden, Ala., has always begun the first week in August since 1987
13:50 – Harry and Pepper, two gay penguins living and loving at the San Francisco Zoo (Episode 116, 4:42) have been going strong for the last six years. Recently, Linda, another penguin who has just widowed, has started flirting with Harry, and they’re in a fully consummated relationship. Pepper is alone and super upset. Zookeeper Anthony Brown said that Linda did not want to be a single girl for too long.
19:12 – The country’s most popular state fair, the Iowa State Fair, will be held Aug. 13-23 in Des Moines. More than 1 million people will attend. The most popular attraction is the butter cow, a state fair staple since 1911. This year they will focus on the 40th anniversary of the moon landing and will also include some kind of Michael Jackson sculpture. PETA is protesting the annual event and recommends that all the sculpture works be made using Earth Balance, a non-dairy buttery spread. The event is sponsored by the Midwest Dairy Association. Jah claims that Earth Balance is a quality butter substitute.
24:13 – Merriam Webster’s Dictionary has been published with a new edition for 2009 with some of the following new words: acai, fan fiction, flash mob, frenemy, goji (Episode 005, 5:17), locavore (Episode 030, 19:17), reggaeton, sock puppet, staycation (Episode 117, 12:45), webisode and zipline. 33:08 – Dual doggy door dangers – over 75,000 doggy doors are sold and installed in U.S. homes each year. The first is that small children can crawl through them and fall out into pools or off balconies. The other is a reverse boycott – when burglars come with their little children and have them go through the door, unlock it and let them in.
37:51 – Rachel Ferrera, 23, of Wisconsin, got home from work and found her boyfriend, 24-year-old Christopher Strabley, sitting on their couch, watching porn on the TV and masturbating. She called him “a fucking cheater.” She then kicked him in the nuts and stabbed him several times in the stomach with a kitchen knife, saying over and over again “you deserve it.” He drove himself to the hospital and is OK. She told police, “I think I hurt him bad.”
46:29 – Republican U.S. Senator Sam Brownback of Kansas has announced the introduction of legislation that he is backing called The Human Animal Hybrid Prohibition Act of 2009. This would ban the creation of genetically spliced human animals. Brownback: “Creating human animal hybrids, which permanently alter the genetic makeup of an organism will challenge the very definition of what it means to be human and is a violation of human dignity and a grave injustice. We will protect the dignity and sacredness of human life. It will protect the very essence of what it means to be human.”
54:28 – There’s currently an ongoing legal battle, and a battle amongst American women, between two different types of tampons – the Tampax Pearl and the Playtex Gentle Glide.
56:37 – An American company, MyDishBiz, posted a photograph of a couple on their website doing a testimonial. Underneath, the caption reads “Frank and Mary from New York,” along with a glowing testimonial about how they made easy money selling Dish network satellites from home and “We made over $1,000 alone from this internet business opportunity.” The couple in the picture are not Frank and Mary, but Ben and Catherine Mullany from Wales, who were murdered last summer while on their honeymoon in Antigua. The pic was downloaded without permission from an internet memorial site that was dedicated to them by friends and family.
1:32 – Seth has apparently been watching some Goodfellas because he starts talking like an East Coast Italian.
19:46 – Seth references his childhood friend, Peter Martellucci (Episode 037, 41:31; Episode 106, 33:58; Episode 131, 13:42).
20:34 – Last week Seth requested people to call the voicemail to gauge how many people could come to an East Coast show in August, and they got several calls. Those who haven’t called should continue to call and express their interest.
22:04 – Jah said the UYD tech issues should be all cleared up, now that all the audio hosting is going through uhhyeahdude.com. Jah profusely thanks Tavis and Nick for getting this up and running.
39:59 – Jah wants to get back to brass tacks and asks if jerking off to porn is cheating on a significant other. Seth thinks so. Jah thinks all bets are off if the female is in the room with them and approves of it. Jah is willing to accept it if he entered into a relationship and the girl didn’t want him to look at porn because it’s cheating.
1:01:38 – Seth says that obviously if UYD had the resources it would do shows in Philly, Chicago, D.C., Boston, etc. In the meantime they’re trying their best.
1:02:50 – Computer security expert Tadayoshi Kohno of the University of Washington published a paper in the July issue of Neurosurgical Focus that questions if steps need to be taken for the future possibility of hackers someday being able to take over other people’s brains, because researchers have developed technology that makes it possible to use thoughts to operate computers, wheelchairs, etc., at basic introductory levels. As neural devices become more complicated and as scientific research develops these systems to become more specific, dynamic and ultimately wireless, brain hackers need to be taken more seriously. These neuralcentric devices are innovating at such a rapid rate that hackers could eventually commandeer deep brain stimulators or electrode systems. As with all tech, bugs or malfunctions are always going to be present, and hackers will always be able to distinguish and then misuse or abuse these miniscule little mistakes.
3:18 – A team of global health researchers at the UC-San Diego School of Medicine found that male clients of female sex workers in Tijuana had a higher percentage of unprotected sex and a higher percentage of meth use than other men in their 20s and 30s
50:56 – According to a study done by researchers at the University of Minnesota and published in the Journal of Psychological Science, although we are told to count our blessings, it might be more useful to count your money. Researchers asked a group of participants to count out 80 $100 bills, while another group counted out 80 useless pieces of paper. The group that counted the actual money had lower social distressed when they were excluded from a group computer game. They felt less pain when holding their fingers in hot water and also rated themselves as feeling “strong. Much stronger than the paper-counting group.”
37:11 – Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson broke up, so Seth is making a bold prediction that on Feb. 7, 2010, he and Jah will be in Miami Gardens, Fla., with football gear on watching his Dallas Cowboys win it all.