View Episode 185
Originally aired 09.29.09
1:04:59
26:44 – Beefs and beatdowns: A study of the olds
38:36 – Seth is perplexed that The Amazing Race won the Emmy for Best Reality Show every year they’ve had the category since 2003. He thinks somebody else needs to beat them because he doesn’t like them winning so much. It’s not fair. Seth and Jah will riot if Dating In The Dark or NYC Prep don’t beat them.
12:38 – Seth talks about buying some Pepsi Max.
13:47 – Jah thinks UYD needs to open a store/museum that takes you on a tour through the beverages throughout time: “UYD’s Wild Ride Through the Beverages of Time.”
57:58 – Jah is down with a religion that allows designer jeans to be worn – it’s called Scientology
40:35 – Washington D.C. just held a Value Voters Summit, a conference for Republicans and social conservatives. A Republican chief of staff said in a speech, “Homosexuality is inflicted on people. I had a very good friend who was in the homosexual lifestyle for a long time. One of the things he said to me that I think is an astonishingly insightful remark, he said ‘All pornography is homosexual pornography, because all pornography turns your sexual drive inwards.’ Now if you tell an 11-year-old boy that, do you think he’s going to want to get a copy of Playboy? I’m pretty sure he’ll lose interest. That’s the last thing he wants.”
7:15 – Seth and Jonathan riff off some synonyms for cocaine: devil’s dandruff, booger sugar, Bolivian marching powder, Tubbs & Crockett, nose whiskey, etc.
What Seth Learned on the Monsterweb
44:31 – Seth is on the computer all the time and every week he’s reading about female teachers being inappropriate with young men. He wants to know if it happened before the internet and we didn’t know about it, or if it is a recent phenomenon. Jah says that if any dude would’ve hooked up with a teacher, it would’ve been him, and he didn’t do it. He hit on teachers and he was boning at a young age. Jah thinks it’s evolution, because we’re getting developed at a younger age.
2:20 – Jonathan has some items waiting for him from AdamandEve.com that were delivered to him by the postal people. He has some stuff to try out.
5:48 – Jah wonders if Seth threw Nair-bombs at people on Halloween, but Seth just went egging. Jah thinks egg, shaving cream and Nair should be an integral part of each Halloween holiday. Seth explains that if one has the internet, he can look up the history of Haverhill, MA, and learn about the famous egg wars that Seth Romatelli started. If you can’t find anything on microfiche, Seth will photocopy some articles and mail them to you.
12:38 – Seth went into Ralph’s today so he could by some Pepsi Max, and he’s looking up at the sign that says which aisle has what, and one aisle says “New Age Drinks.” It was just flavored water, that would’ve been considered “new” in a supermarket 15 years ago when Seth used to go to DeMoulas.
15:50 – Jah admits that he once spent an hour with a little Sony robot dog and tried to figure out if he wanted one in his house. He wonders what the first AI-ish thing that he and Seth bring into their lives will be. Seth thinks it will be a fuck doll that can be given emotion and touch.
21:31 – Jah talks about CVS’s $1 and $2 clearance boxes that feature a gang of Olsen twins VHS tapes, which he didn’t come close to touching when he went in there. Seth explains that people buy useless things, like the marshmallow shooter in the SkyMall catalog.
28:33 – Jah was in a drug store the other day and there was an old woman in there who is a serial shoplifter. The employees were telling Beatrice that she didn’t have to do this.
53:17 – Seth came out of Whole Foods this week and they were doing another petition. They asked him if he could do something for civil rights, and when he hears that phrase he thinks about Birmingham in the 50s. Later he came back to the other entrance and somebody asked him, “Do you want to sign something to overturn Prop 8 for gay marriage?”
3:41 – Bed manufacturers have been appealing to men with upscale beds and mattresses. Some of them offer things like muscle recovery properties, as well as ones with built-in TVs, mini coolers, iPods and safes, etc.
6:39 – Shaheed Wright feared that police were closing in on him, so he hid bags of cocaine in his son’s jacket pockets. He told his son it was just candy, and when the 4-year-old got to his day care center in Newark, N.J., he began handing out this “candy” to his friends. The boy and 3 of his friends were rushed to the hospital after the teacher found one of the bags on the floor.
11:07 – A man in Utah, who police say posed as a licensed massage therapist, has been arrested for sexually assaulting 2 women. His name is Robert Battle. He was working at a fitness center where he was doing his own style of massage. He told one woman her body wasn’t really holding prior massage work, so he needed to do some “internal work,” and performed a vaginal massage. Another woman said Battle covered her with a sheet but had to remove it later on to get to a massage point by her vagina.
14:52 – The iCub is a small-sized humanoid robot about the size of a 3-1/2-year-old child, and he wants to party with Seth and fight Jonathan.
20:05 – Firefighters had to be called to the ER of a Newport Beach hospital to help save a man’s penis. It got stuck on the hole of a steel dumbbell. The man was apparently trying to enlarge the size of his penis, but it had swollen up in and around the dumbbell. He initially refused treatment. Firefighters told him that if they didn’t cut through the weight his penis would die. It took about 2 hours to cut it apart.
23:56 – Expert nautical deep-sea oceanographers have discovered a very new strange species of shark called the ghost shark. Discovered off the California coast, it has a sexual organ of some sort on its head that is a club with spikes that come out of it. It’s either to fuck the female or hold down the female it’s fucking. Jonathan thought a “ghost shark” was when you’re sharking somebody, you get right up to their face to nut and you bitch out and can’t do it (Episode 171, 57:26).
33:02 – Douglas Parks, a 50-year-old Postal Service supervisor, has admitted to taking 16,000 Best Buy Rewards certificates from a major distribution center and buying almost $200,000 in merchandise—including 7 37-inch LCD TVs and 37 iPods. A Massachusetts postal worker, Miles Weathers, has also admitted to stealing more than 3,000 Netflix DVDs from his local office.
48:58 – The mayor of a small town in South Carolina, Sally Peek, had to revoke an order she had given out to her police force earlier in the week after others had heard about it and reacted unfavorably. She had banned the town police officers from chasing suspects on foot. She asked for this to stop after a cop was hurt while running after a man with crack cocaine on him, fell down and hurt himself. She said a drug possession charge was not worth the cost to taxpayers in this economic time.
54:14 – Phoenix, Az., has been dubbed the Kidnapping Capital of America. More incidents than any city in the world outside of Mexico City – over 370 cases in 2008. A home invasion task force has been established to combat this. This scares Jonathan.
1:11 – Jah does his shock jock voice that Seth has been dreaming about since he was a young boy
2:01 – This episode of Uhh Yeah Dude is being brought to you by AdamandEve.com – safe, secure and intimate
4:31 – Seth talks about his extensive training regime by using some crazy big words
5:38 – Halloween is coming on a Saturday night, which could be right.
30:03 – Jah plugs the live show in Brooklyn on Oct. 17 at Public Assembly
32:28 – Seth says he got some positive feedback on Volume 2 of the 25-minute psychotic montage that has been posted in the “Media” section of the website. Jah says there has been one complaint that Volume 1 is no longer there.
35:41 – Seth’s current issue of Playboy, October 2009, has a study called “The College Sex Survey.” 41% of college students know someone who has hooked up with either a professor or a teacher’s assistant.
50:22 – Jah has 2 cigarettes, a Lucky and another one. He asks Seth which one he should smoke first, and Seth says he should smoke the Lucky cigarette now.
1:01:04 – Seth understands the UYD voicemail greeting says “2006 for life,” which he finds comforting, quaint and soothing to hear that. Some listeners decide to really let Seth know what year it is in their messages. Jonathan says that all the texts he receives are like getting Twittered in the face.
25:47 – A Cornell University gerontologist has conducted numerous studies and has found an alarming increase in elderly-on-elderly violence, certainly in nursing homes. It’s due to the fact that older people lose their inhibitions anyway and tensions are flaring and it’s on.
58:10 – A new study to be published in the Journal of Alcoholism, Clinical and Experimental Research says that the age at which a person takes a first drink may influence genes linked to alcoholism, making the youngest drinkers more apt to problems.
8:58 – Seth rips on Lou Ferrigno for being on TMZ standing in front of his brand-new 2009 Ford F-150, pulling up his tank top and showing off his jacked 6-pack that saved the day with Jonathan (Episode 151, 32:41). Jah says he was driving said F-150 when he rolled up on Jah after Jah saved the dog. Ferrigno was parked right in front of Gold’s Gym in the handicap spot.
18:44 – The new Bruce Willis movie, Surrogates, comes out tomorrow with Bruno’s crazy body and hair (Episode 170, 3:09).
51:37 – Seth rips on Lou Ferrigno even more
55:38 – Seth saw a report on Muslim women in the U.S. who are trying to stay in shape, but they can’t have a sliver of skin shown in front of a man in case they happen to be in a fitness center or gym. They were talking about fashions that were being created for them. Seth’s solution is to stop being Muslim. Jonathan’s solution is to stop being Muslim like that.