View Episode 196
Originally aired 12.13.09
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50:17 – UYD: God. Gold. Guns.
2:37 – Seth was watching the third season premiere of Spike TV’s Manswers, and they posed a question to its viewers: “How many non-alcoholic beers would you need to drink to blow a .08?” Jah guesses 64, but the answer is 40.
10:40 – Seth was watching a new show on Discovery Health called I Am Pregnant…, which has had two episodes. The first one was “I Am Pregnant and Addicted,” featuring Collette on methodone. This week’s was “I Am Pregnant and Homeless,” featuring Misty living in a tent in the North Carolina mountains with her son Zion.
13:30 – Proctor & Gamble, which ended the run of their soap opera Guiding Light in September after 72 years, decided to also stop production on the 53-year run of their other show, As The World Turns, in December 2010. Helen Wagner, 91, who has played matriarch Nancy Hughes on the show on and off since its inception, spoke the show’s very first words on TV, “Good morning, dear.”
24:52 – Jah’s father acted with Ice-T this week on Law & Order: SVU
30:36 – Seth watched Campus PD on G4, which they told him was going to be about college campuses’ police departments. There was one little scene at the University of Cincinnati which was kind of crazy, but then it was all bogus faux-COPS episodes near campus. Seth got duped.
46:02 – Seth got a shakeup going on at Good Morning America right now. Diane Sawyer is leaving to replace Charles Gibson on World News Tonight. They’re bringing George Stephanopoulos in to take her place, so Chris Cuomo is bouncing to do 20/20 with Elizabeth Vargas. Seth thinks that Cuomo couldn’t handle the sexual tension of being around Sam Champion (Episode 193, 15:35), and wonders when Champion is going to come out of the closet or if he’s going to keep cloaking it through 2010.
52:19 – Seth was watching 20/20 this Friday, featuring women who wanted to save money on plastic surgery so they’re ordering botox online and injecting into their own mouth and lips. Some of their faces got permanently distorted.
54:08 – Teen Mom was on this week. It featured kids puking and never chilling/partying the right way.
32:58 – Seth saw a mugshot on The Smoking Game of a dude who had a tat on his chest of the outline of the eastern seaboard and Florida with Florida as a gun, and it said WELCOME TO FLAWDA. THIS AIN’T NO TOURIST ATTRACTION.
15:47 – Seth and Jonathan fast-forwarded footage of the Hollywood Christmas Parade to try to see the Scientology float while wondering who they would put on the float. They cloaked it by putting Martin Cove from Karate Kid on a Golden Age float presented by L. Ron Hubbard.
12:00 – A Gentle Scan is taking your temperature by scanning a flashlight across your temporal lobe. It costs $30 and can be used on a sleeping baby. Exergen TemporalScanner, the Model TAT-2000C
22:12 – Dr. Dre is partying on the Home Shopping Network similarly to Sean Combs (Episode 195, 22:20), selling his line of premium sound accessories, Beats by Dr. Dre. Seth was intrigued by some of the comments from viewers: “This whole move is… how do you say, off the shizzle? Smile, it’s free!” … “Will they speak in rhymes to sell their products? Tee-hee! Merry Christmas!” … “Maybe Dr. Dre can have a special on Rappin’ Paper! God is Great!”
41:05 – Hallmark has a new line of cards called Difficult Times. There’s one called “Love” that says “I really miss us being us.” Another called “Sunshine Train” declares “Anyone can love when it’s easy, but you continue to love even when I make it very difficult.” Another called “Things I Don’t Know” talks about why bad things happen to good people, but reassures the recipient that you are there for them no matter what.
2:14 – Sports anchor Al Michaels of NBC Sunday Night Football discussing Minnesota Vikings DE Jared Allen who happens to wear the number 69, “Sooner or later 69 will be in your face.”
Games That Jonathan and Seth Play
32:22 – Seth quizzes Jonathan on what album Rolling Stone named as the #1 Album of the Decade. Jah guesses Radiohead’s OK Computer, then the correct answer – Radiohead’s Kid A, which Jah agrees with.
3:48 – People called UYD about Abilify (Episode 195, 28:46; Episode 162, 56:02) and one of the things people have mentioned as a result of taking it is “organ tremors” or “body shaking.” Seth went on a forum that discussed side effects, and some of the comments left included “…like a washing machine inside my body;” “…like someone is shaking me from inside” and “like I’ve been left ON, a low humming.”
4:58 – Seth recalls showing Jah the side effect packet for taking the bipolar medicine Seroquel (Episode 070, 21:02).
5:27 – Jah goes to places where he is made to believe that he has the best doctors and the best medicines that the world can have because of how privileged we are to live where we do, and his doctors have tried to give him Chantix (Episode 002, 42:09; Episode 084, 20:44; Episode 109, 16:50; Episode 118, 29:18; Episode 154, 11:18; for free so he can hit them up later if he wants more.
10:02 – The UYD voicemail box filled up with messages from listeners talking about the Indian boy on the Tootsie Pop wrappers (Episode 195, 13:47). One of the voicemails to Seth said, “I guess you’re the herda-hatta-herda!”
13:59 – As a child, Jonathan used to watch the soap opera As The World Turns. He did a lot of staying home, plus his grandmother and housekeeper would watch them so he got into them. Plus there were always hot girls on the shows, so he was always beating off to them.
15:21 – Seth and Jonathan watched the Hollywood Christmas Parade (Episode 045, 54:07; Episode 057, 8:06) together, and there were times they’d see somebody who appeared to be an actor. They did see Dog The Bounty Hunter looking super fresh, wearing multiple dreamcatchers and a heavy duty Carhartt jacket.
33:28 – Seth talks about his NexCare Duct-Tape Band-Aids that you can’t really get anywhere. The bandage has medication and padding on it, but instead of a shitty adhesive it’s duct tape. He saw a dude wearing one, and it was perfectly shaped. The guy that Seth asked about them had ordered them off eBay from Germany and gave Seth a couple, so he’s saving them for his best cuts.
58:08 – Jah didn’t pay his cell phone bill again so he’s still in that place where he can only receive texts.
8:13 – The Sun-Maid Raisin Girl has gotten a bit of a makeover for the new decade – like Denise Richards with a bonnet. Sun-Maid president Barry Kriebel said “The new girl might be given a name and even featured in future advertisements doing things that modern women typically do.”
17:11 – UYD often talks about the sexual politics between man and woman and how intricate that can be as that plays itself out in this modern world. In the midst of the Tiger Woods scandal, there’s a lot of talk about texting being “the new lipstick on the collar.” This can leave behind a “trail of cyber breadcrumbs.”
21:04 – John Gribbin’s book “Get A Grip on Physics” was ranked #396,224th on the Amazon charts last week. One day after appearing in photographs released by the Florida police in Tiger Woods’ Escalade, the book jumped to 2,268th.
26:32 – Extreme composting is a hot new trend for city dwellers. “Nutrient loopers” is also one of the terms being used. They use a bucket, put sawdust on it for smell, use no water, and within a year it is filled with fertilizer with nitrogen and no pathogens off of human waste.
29:38 – More than 350 U.S. colleges and universities have complete bans on tobacco use.
31:41 – Opening next summer in the Hollywood and Highland Shopping Complex, the next step in large-scale restaurant/nightclub destination venues: Rolling Stone.
34:31 – 57-year-old Jesus Leonardo is a “stooper,” someone who picks up discarded tickets at off-track betting parlors. Stoopers are the gleaners of the racetrack world because they date back to the early 1930s and are tolerated under unwritten code. He’s married and has two teenagers and says he’s made roughly over 45,000 over the last decade from picking up old discarded betting stubs.
44:14 – Seth heard a 911 call from a woman where her husband was at work and a lunatic was trying to break down her door. She was terrified and said “I have a shotgun. I don’t want to kill this guy. What do I do?” Dispatch told her she could kill him if she had to. She says “He’s about to come in.” Then goes, “Ma’am, I don’t want to kill him but I will kill him graveyard dead if I have to.” Then you just hear the shot and he’s dead.
47:36 – At Searchology, an event at Google headquarters in Mountain View, Calif., devoted to showing off advances, unveiled an app called “Skymap,” using a smart phone’s GPS capability, compass and accelerometer to draw real-time maps of the galaxy and stars and take into account exactly where the users are standing and what direction they’re facing. You can rotate the phone until a red target circle on the screen finds the constellation and locks it up.
49:37 – Fox News conservative talk show host Glenn Beck, drawing on his giant chalkboard, has been going on about an old right-wing battle – the cry of the “3G” system, “God, Gold and Guns.”
0:49 – Seth’s iBook G4 is running about 97% right now – a good charge
1:02 – The decade is ending and we don’t really have a name for the coming decade we’re about to enter. Jah thinks it should be the “X’s” or the “Teens” or “Two-thousand X”
20:53 – Jah sings “We Don’t Need Another Hero.” (Episode 073, 0:43; Episode 097, 1:00:56)
25:32 – Seth harkens back to when he got to hear Sean Connery say “Queen Latifah” at the Academy Awards (Episode 099, 17:20). Seth tries to picture the Larroquettes going out to dinner with Ice-T and Coco.
35:53 – Jah wants Facebook to stop sending him notifications about how they’re changing privacy policies because it’s spooking him. He thinks it’s crazy that Google is scanning Twitter accounts to see if a popular user has referenced whatever words you’re searching for. Because of this Jah’s father might dip out of Twitter.
7:04 – Researchers from the University of Minnesota surveyed more than 20,000 kids and found that 15% of U.S. teens expect to die young. This leads to increased drug use, suicide attempts and sexually risky behavior. Seth didn’t think he’d die young, but now he’s going to die mad old.
37:54 – A group of scientists set out to do a study on the effects of pornography. They wanted to compare men who regularly watch XXX movies with men who didn’t. Unfortunately for them, they could not find a single man in his 20s who had not been regularly exposed to it.
7:59 – Seth promises that he’s going to live longer than everyone listening to this show.
57:06 – Seth will pay for anyone’s smoking ticket at the University of Iowa if they can prove they got 10 people to listen to the show.
11:48 – Seth gets pissed about people mispronouncing words like “methodon” and “altimers.” (Episode 122, 29:51)
17:51 – Jah rips on Tiger Woods and other superstars who are idiots that are bringing wack game with their cheating on spouses.
15:13 – After Jah says “Nobody cracks the 90s and is working like that,” in reference to soap actress Helen Wagner, Seth replies “Andy Rooney. Except I want to hug this woman, not punch her in the face.”