View Episode 202
Originally aired 01.24.10
1:05:52
6:24 – The last time the Golden Globes had a host lead the evening was in 1995, led by Janine Turner and John Larroquette.
16:52 – There was a documentary that was supposed to be on PBS Frontline this week, but they had to postpone it out of concern for some of the boys who appear in the film, called The Dancing Boys of Afghanistan. It features the “Bacchá Bareesh” – or “Beardless Boys” and the “Bacchá Bazi” – or “Boy for Play.” They’re kids who start around the age of 10 singing or performing suggestive dances while wearing flowing colorful dresses. Four men use them as sex slaves and trade them among other men for sex. It’s an ancient tradition. Occastionally, boys who interfere with a married man’s wife will marry their lover’s daughter. At 19, the boys are released back into society to reclaim their male status.
45:49 – The “sarc mark” is a period with a spiral around it – an official, easy-to-use punctuation mark to emphasize a sarcastic phrase, sentence or message. Download the sarc mark software for $1.99
22:05 – John Mayer to Rolling Stone magazine: “I don’t care about anything other than energy. That’s why people think, ‘Is he bi? Is he that?’ I’ve never slept with a man, but I get it. I’ve seen pictures of men on the internet that are, like, way sexier than pictures of most women.” Rolling Stone’s response: “Have you ever felt it stir.” Mayer: “Sure, abso-fuckin’-lutely.”
56:59 – Mike Greenberg of Mike & Mike In The Morning on Monday: “This is Mike & Mike In The Morning on ESPN Radio talking football with you on this Martin Luther Coon – King – holiday…” The day before, during a New York Jets-San Diego Chargers playoff game on CBS, Jim Nantz said “Tonight’s 60 Minutes, let’s join up with the 82nd Airborne as U.S. soldiers move in to help Haitia.”
Games That Jonathan and Seth Play
30:03 – Seth has J-Dawg sing the top 10 songs this week 25 years ago (Jan. 21, 1985): 10) Prince & The Revolution – “I Would Die 4 You”; 9) Billy Ocean – “Loverboy”; 8) Don Henley – “Boys of Summer”; 7) Jack Wagner – “All I Need”; 6) Wham – “Careless Whisper”; 5) Philip Bailey w/ Phil Collins – “Easy Lover”; 4) Chicago – “You’re The Inspiration”; 3) Foreigner – “I Wanna Know What Love Is”; 1) Madonna – “Like A Virgin”
What Seth Learned on the Monsterweb
10:03 – Renowned actor Gene Hackman is going to turn 80 very soon. Seth discovers that he made a movie with Ray Romano in 2004 called Welcome to Mooseport and hasn’t been acting since.
4:21 – Jah declares that Seth has terrible internet at his apartment. It’s the narrowest broadband he’s ever worked with.
24:16 – Jonathan was represented by the Chubb Group at one point.
35:04 – Jonathan remembers beating off to the “Like A Virgin” music video
48:51 – Some bitch barista tried to sell Jah a brownie today with his coffee.
51:17 – A UYD listener left a voice message for Seth, talking about Jah’s reference to a porn site – E-Porner – it was the only one he could access that wasn’t blocked in China.
54:07 – Jah wants to bring up something he’s been slightly conflicted about. It’s been 10 years since he bought a leather item – a belt or shoes or backpack or luggage – for himself. He has on occasion bought leather gifts for other people, Seth included. His girlfriend is buying him a pair of Redwing leather boots online so he can wear something on tour to keep his feet warm. He knows there are alternatives that are not leather and he continues to explore those options. There’s a part of him that feels that he needs and deserves these boots, but he’s not excited about breaking his 10 years of cruelty-free living. Seth says the only way to pay his penance is to put on a pair of sturdy, heavy-duty work gloves and pick up 100 pieces of trash in Santa Monica.
1:04:06 – Jah has been going to bed early all this past week. It was the first time he had done it in so long. He has been sleeping 9 hours, and he can’t believe how refreshed he feels.
1:07 – TYCO bought Brinks, which is now Broadview, but TYCO owns ADT – so is Broadview now ADT?
7:54 – A Michigan defense contractor has been stamping references to Bible verses on combat rifle sights used by American soldiers in both Iraq and Afghanistan. The company says it has been a longstanding company practice to embed the scripture citations next to the model’s number. They are subtle and appear in raised lettering at the end of the model number. For example, Model #JN812, a reference to John 8:12, reads, “I am the light of the world.”
24:13 – The Chubb Group Insurance Co., based in Warren, N.J., is the world’s third-largest underwriter of a burgeoning new market in the insurance game – K&R insurance (Kidnapping and Ransom). Hundreds of Americans are kidnapped each year while traveling this fucked-up world. Premiums can run into the thousands – even a low-end policy, which would pay up to $1 million – can cost someone $1,000 a year. If anything was to happen, the Chubb Group would send out a K&R consultant, who would be dispatched in the event of a kidnapping to do full security detail, negotiate with kidnappers if need be and deliver the ransom. Hotspots (or places you should avoid) are Brazil, Mexico, India, the Phillippines, Venezuela
36:03 – The All-American Basketball Alliance would like to start its inaugural season this summer with a 12-team lineup composed of white, American-born men – natural-born U.S. citizens with both parents of Caucasian race. The league hopes to have 12 teams in Southern cities. Their commissioner said they wouldn’t play “street ball” of people of color. He said, “Fans don’t want to worry about players attacking them in the stands and grabbing their crotches.”
39:23 – The Advocate – the nation’s oldest LGBT publication – has named Atlanta the country’s gayest city.
41:44 – The top 5 most stolen cars of 2009: 5) ’04 Dodge Ram pickup – 17,405; 4) ’97 Ford F-150 pickup – 17,416; 3) ’89 Toyota Camry – 26,000; 2) ’95 Honda Civic – 48,000; 1) ’94 Honda Accord – 55,170.
49:23 – Communist China’s state-run movie distributor, China Film Group, unexpectedly began pulling Avatar from over 1,600 2D screens and replacing it with a biography of ancient philosopher Confucius. Propaganda officials are concerned that Avatar is taking too much market share from Chinese films and drawing unwanted attention to the concept of forced evictions. Apparently millions of Chinese have been uprooted to make way for high rises and government projects. In Avatar, human colonists try to demolish the village of an alien race to obtain a precious energy source buried under it.
52:29 – Chrysler spent $100,000 to take a full-page ad out in the Wall Street Journal to thank the American taxpayer for the government bailout of the U.S. auto industry. The printed ad statement reads: THANK YOU AMERICA FOR INVESTING IN THE COMPANY WITH A LOAN OF $4 BILLION TO HELP BRIDGE THE CURRENT FINANCIAL CRISIS. The photo says “Thank you America” with smiling Chrysler employees.
20:58 – Seth declares that next month, February, Jonathan will be going on tour with Jogger, except UYD will be having shows each week during the month.
52:07 – Jah gives big ups to the Peace Corps because there are UYD listeners who are in it as we speak.
57:54 – Jah references himself mispronouncing Patrón (Episode 031, 23:14).
59:09 – iTunes prominently featured UYD alongside other amazing podcasts such as New Yorker Fiction, Market Watch from Dow Jones, etc.
1:00:08 – Jah plugs some Merch stuff – new totes are available in black and purple with the prism logo, and new gray hairy logo shirts are available and restocked.
2:24 – A new study says that the United States’ overall internet speed did not qualify for a spot in the top 10 list of countries with the fastest internet in the world, and our average overall decreased by 2.4% from 2008 to 2009. The top 2 are 1) South Korea and 2) Japan.
14:47 – New research in the Journal of Epidemiology: Community Health suggests walking away or letting things pass may be an unhealthy way to deal with unfair treatment on the job. Men who reported using such covert strategies were more than twice as likely to have heart attacks or die from heart disease.
40:10 – Band-Aid studies were conducted in which 65 medical students had Band-Aids placed on their upper arms, ankles and hands. Volunteers then did either a quick yank or a slow peel. The subjects then ranked their pain level. Fast clearly hurt less. That’s what Jah always tells the ladies.
4:56 – Seth rips on the upcoming movie Valentine’s Day, featuring the largest cast ever.
10:49 – Seth hammers Ray Romano for fucking up Gene Hackman’s acting career.
12:56 – Seth rips on the Dutch for voting D.J. Tiësto as their 40th greatest citizen of all-time, behind #8 Anne Frank and #10 Vincent Van Gogh
46:53 – Jah thinks the “sarc mark” is wack and goes off on it viciously.
49:01 – Jah goes off on Starbucks’ brownies because they taste like shit
26:46 – Seth says “that’s what they do” in response to Brazilians, claiming all they do is eat at 3 Brazilian restaurants in Venice, watch soccer, knock up broads, leave their dogs and fly back to Rio.
28:04 – Seth says India stinks like curry; there are 250 languages and 79 billion people. He says all you need to do is go to Electric Lotus, turn the heat up to 116 degrees, have an elephant walk by and you’re there.
28:44 – Seth says going to the Phillippines would result in getting crushed by a Manny Pacquiao stampede.