With Twitch and Elbow


View Episode 227


Originally aired 07.19.10



UYD Slogans

8:34 – UYD: It’s all a fetish

18:01 – UYD: Technical Ecstacy

18:08 – UYD: Black Zappa

1:07:00 – UYD: Swimming with love and dolphins and babies

TV Picks

4:21 – Seth was watching Real Sports on HBO and they had a report on female bodybuilders, which made Seth think of Jonathan (Episode 039, 25:47). Jonathan asks, “Big clits, right?” Seth explains they have huge clits because of all the steroids they’re getting from Mexico and HGH from Europe. They make no money doing this so they’re spending all their money out-of-pocket. Winners get $3,000 for winning a tournament. They all have breast implants to make up for the loss of soft tissue. They make money in the world of fetish, called “muscle worship.” There’s a website called SheMuscle, featuring women on military-style bench press with no shirts on, etc. One woman said some of them go to hotels and do one-on-ones with people, where they can make $3,000 in a night. There’s a “lift-and-carry” where you pick up the small man and carry him around, “grappling,” “scissor headlocks” with their crazy thighs, etc.

8:40 – Seth was watching TMZ and they were filming a movie on the streets of New York City with Helen Mirren. There were people on a residential sidewalk and there was a homeless man they have video of, preoccupied with a delicious frozen yogurt and a radio tied around his neck. Mirren finishes shooting, politely walks off and passes by the camera to go to her camera. She looks over to the homeless guy, who goes “Hey, you gotta try this yogurt!” He spoons it into her mouth and she eats it, then walks away.

38:54 – Drugs Inc. on NatGeo featured heroin, cocaine, meth and marijuana. They had “smurfs” – people who go in one-by-one to each buy one pack of ephedra apiece in a county in Missouri and then pool it together and sell it for 10 times the actual value. There was a guy getting $34 of heroin out of the ground and turning it into $130,000 by the time it reaches the United States.

56:10 – There was an episode of Jeopardy! Kid’s Edition that featured a final question in Double Jeopardy! with a photograph of two older gentlemen – a Chinese man shaking hands with Ronald Reagan. The “answer” was: “Say the name of this man who’s shaking hands with the premier of China.” The first girl chimed in with Nixon and at the last second one of the other two boys chimes in, “Who is JFK?”

1:02:54 – Seth watched a program on HBO called No One Dies in Lillydale – a town an hour south of Buffalo. Since 1879 it has been the home to the Modern Spiritualist Movement. Every summer in July and August people come from all over the world to get their readings done by more than 40 internationally renowned mediums who live there. There’s a guy holding a seminar and looking at two women in the front row, nodding his head knowingly. He said, “You just had a strap break on a shoe recently, didn’t you?” They go crazy, and he replies, “Yeah, he knows. He’s laughing at you too.” There was another guy who said, “This morning, was Richard knocking things around the house?” They go crazy. Seth wonders if they really know. For Jah the problem is this: “If you believe in the capability of people, once they leave this place, being able to do that – for you to be able to do than and then believe you have a better chance of communicating with that person via somebody who has absolutely no connection to you in your life whatsoever – the fact they need to qualify it by traveling to kookytown and having a guy lie to your face … if you believe that, go find him, because he’s looking for you too. If not this dude isn’t going to help you! I don’t think.”

This Week In Florida

48:46 – Police in Florida arrested a man, Terry Scott Hyder. They say he frequented Alzheimer’s and dymentia support groups, where he would befriend elderly women who had a sick spouse. He would bring snacks to the group and sit next to them and convince them he could help them to protect their life savings if they bought his bogus tax certificates. He made somewhere in the region of $500,000 in Florida and North Carolina.

Product of the Week

33:26 – I-Renew Bracelet is $20 – the poor man’s Power Balance (Episode 191, 40:37). The plan is to feed off the restorative power of biofeed tech – live life to the fullest, restore balance, regain strength, use natural frequencies that provide focus.

Tweet of the Week

18:18 – Jamie Kennedy loves to tweet his mind: “Playing Seattle tomorrow and Saturday. Come on out. Gonna be like Kurt Cobain resurrected.” … “I have to say that Knight and Day looks pretty sick. Don’t hate on Tom Cruise.” … “4 million gallons a day, that’s what’s going into the Gulf. Everyone needs to write CNN. They need to run the story 24/7.” … “How long is the average marriage?” … “I don’t know why I was killed in Scream 2. It just happened. I didn’t write the script.”

Band Names

5:36 – How in the world is there not a band called Penis at 12?

6:29 – Muscle Worship

Drug Use

17:31 – There was a huge rave that went down in LA recently and a girl died from ecstacy and they canceled all raves thereafter.

38:54 – Drugs Inc. on NatGeo featured heroin, cocaine, meth and marijuana. Meth was Seth’s favorite. Jah explains that meth is “the chemiest, chem-o-chem, chemmy, chem-chem-chem-chem. It is the most toxic, poisonous… it would burn through the earth if you just poured it on the street. It kills anything in its sight. To call it a drug—you couldn’t even call it that. … A drug fucks with synapses. This thing burns holes in your face and mind.”

UYD Stories

1:49 – Seth tried very hard to get Jackée Harry on the show. He reached out to the Metropolitan Talent Agency and spoke to a nice assistant of the agent that represents Jackée. She’s very busy right now, a star of the stage and screen, but Seth says that she could still be in the future of the lives of UYD. He has a feeling this isn’t over yet.

5:08 – The reason that Jah knows about enlarged clitorises from steroid-enhanced females is because he knows about “Penis at 12” syndrome (Episode 068, 10:31). He explains that this is because females at puberty overdevelop their male hormones and their clitorises begin to swell and grow larger and become small penises. The same kind of thing occurs when bodybuilders are on steroids, killing estrogen production and upping testosterone production.

24:19 – Sports memorabilia gives Jonathan a panic attack. He has a signed Mickey Mantle baseball, bought by his father outside of Fenway Park after coming out of a game there during the filming of Second Sight with Bronson Pinchot. Jah says you can’t walk into a memorabilia shop without wanting to shit yourself.

25:30 – Jah thought about something that he hadn’t thought about in a very long time. He remembers his dad doing a few scenes from a shooting script based on a live-action version of Gary Larson’s The Far Side in the late 1980s. They erected a fake foam set and the idea was for it to be a vignetted version of The Far Side. He remembers his dad in a giant foam safari hat and safari clothes with a bazooka gun. He also remembers a kitchen set up with a kitchen made out of foam.

34:34 – Seth asks if Jah remembers when girls wore chokers. Jah responds with, “Do you remember when mes wores chokers?” He had a hemp choker with fimo beads (Episode 060, 25:24) in 11th or 12th grade that he used to rock. He also had several Ethiopian orthodox crosses that he would wear in his rasta days (Episode 014, 39:56). Jah then asks Seth about rocking bolo ties, which he says he never did even though he likes to rock a western theme from time to time.

35:56 – Jah reveals that Charlotte, N.C., is a particularly special town for him because he was arrested there (Episode 215, 1:05:50).

47:10 – Seth got a voicemail from a listener in Chicago who said everyone in the office got a company-wide e-mail from the Chicago Police Department and Chicago Fire Department. They wanted everyone to know that Transformers 3 was going to be filming in town but they wanted them to know there would be street closures. They also informed them that you would not be able to see any of the actual Transformers during production because they are digital creations.

1:00:27 – Jah explains that the deal with his $5 bill that he thought was counterfeit: the paper felt funny, the red and blue linty yarn in the stock seemed few and far between and looked as if it had been printed on there rather than woven into the surface.

1:01:07 – Jah said there was a great story about counterfeiting coins that the guy who wrote A Christmas Story told. Jah’s friend John played the story of him making fake nickels as a kid, when he and his friends ruled the universe with them.

UYD News

2:45 – The National Retail Federation said that the average U.S. family with students in kindgarten through high school will spend $606.40 on clothes, shoes and school supplies – a 10.5% increase from the $548.72 of 2009.

10:49 – Next month will bring the follow-up to Rhonda Burns’ epic work, The Secret (Episode 052, 0:17). Atria Books announced the first printing of 2 million copies of The Power: a guide to how “everyone is meant to have an amazing life.”

14:13 – Jah asks out loud if the oil leak is done. Seth thinks they capped it by putting the Fushigis in there like he told them (Episode 222, 17:25).

23:45 – Football training camp starts in August. The Baltimore Ravens say they will only allow 6- to 15-year-olds to get autographs from the players. Seth hopes he’s still allowed to be allowed Oxnard to smile and wave to his favorite Cowboys players.

28:02 – Shout Factory is responsible for taking old TV shows and putting them out on DVD. They’ve done American Gladiators, California Dreams, Mr. Belvedere, Designing Women, Parker Lewis Can’t Lose, etc. On Aug. 10 they’re going to release the complete series of Max Headroom. Jah thinks it was the best.

29:51 – Toyota has a Facebook page. They want to know about people’s ‘Camry Tree:’ “Drive one, pass it down, buy another. Every owner has a story, or two, or 52. Tell us about your story.”

31:46 – The MLB All-Star Game, played last week, was the lowest-rated All-Star game ever. During the festivities in Anaheim they had the Home Run Derby, won by Boston Red Sox player David Ortiz. He was wearing Power Balance bracelets (Episode 191, 40:37) over both wristbands on both wrists.

35:56 – A Charlotte, N.C., company, ScentAir Technology, created an outdoor billboard for a local grocery chain named Bloom. They designed it to smell like grilled meat. The billboard is a tall fork with meat on the end of the fork, and high-powered fans on top of the sign emit a chemically-created odor of barbecued beef that can be smelled by cars driving by. A spokesman said, “Scents break through the mundane and overused marketing gimmicks to reach customers emotionally.” ScentAir has over 1,000 scents in their scent library – everything from sun in sand to clean cotton to fresh-brewed coffee, dinosaur breath and burning rubber.

43:00 – The ACLU is demanding that the St. Tammany Parish Jail in Louisiana stop forcing prisoners to wear tiny orange daisy dukes that say “HOT STUFF” on the ass.

44:14 – The YMCA stands for the Young Men’s Christian Association, but the Village People won’t be changing their hit song “The YMCA” just because the YMCA is changing their name and logo officially to “The Y.” Victor Willis is the lead singer of the group The Village People. He released a statement saying the switch won’t affect the song or the dance people use to spell it out.

50:57 – There’s a Pentagon questionnaire that’s been sent out to 400,000 troops. This is one of the questions: If “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” is repealed and you are assigned to share bathroom facilities with an open base shower with someone you believe to be a gay or lesbian service member, which are you most likely to do? A) Take no action, B) Use the shower at a different time than the service member I thought to be gay or lesbian, C) Discuss how we expect each other to behave ourselves and conduct ourselves, D) Talk to a chaplain, mentor or leader about how to handle the situation, E) Talk to a leader to see if I had other options, F) Something else, G) Don’t know

58:51 – The U.S. Secret Service removed $182,000,000 worth of counterfeit cash in 2009 – the most by far ever. The $20 bill is the most commonly counterfeited bill but the problem is that $1s and $5s are being counterfeited and those are never being checked.

Extra Notes

1:32 – This is 2-2-7, hosted by Jonathan and Jack-ain’t

14:30 – Seth has been getting many voicemails from people talking about Jonathan’s jam of a movie, Up (Episode 226, 44:31). Jah admits there’s something within the pacing of a movie that allows him to draw life lessons from it.

15:40 – Seth asks Jonathan whether he should go through The Wire series or all the Pixar movies. Seth then lists off all the Pixar movies he can think of.

18:02 – Jah was a huge fan of Black Zappa back in the day

1:07:15 – Jonathan asks if this is the first time UYD has ever come to its listeners on location outside of a live show. Seth answers yes. They usually do the show on Thursday, but they were coming up on the wedding in Mendecino and with travel plans Thursday got weird. J-dawg said to pack up the tech and record the show in the woods in a cabin. Jah says it’s significant to mention it since they’ve only done shows in Seth’s apartment, Brooklyn and Los Angeles.