View Episode 234
Originally aired 09.02.2010
1:06:53
7:12 – Help me, I’m Na’vi: The story of UYD
44:53 – Privicy With Consent, Ejaculate Is Best
9:54 – Seth has a couple TV picks this week. Monday, Sept. 20, 2010, will feature Monday Night Football on Seth’s birthday. On TruTV, there is Rehab: Party at the Hard Rock, on Tuesday, Sept. 7. On Saturday, Sept. 11, COPS returns for its 23rd season with its 800th episode – from Boynton Beach, Fla. to Harris County, Texas.
18:31 – This Monday on NatGeo, Giuliani’s 9-11 in his own words
23:44 – Seth watched footage of the Assault Intervention Device being used on 60 Minutes. They were pretending he was a protestor at the GE Summit. He was holding up a mattress and the beam shot through the process and forced him to drop the mattress and move away.
50:12 – Seth was watching a show called Secrets of the Mind, an ABC primetime special. They had a guy on there who had narcolepsy with cataplexy, or “paralyzed by love.” He goes into a heroin nod-off if he is with his wife or is remembered of their wedding. They can’t sleep together because a gentle touch during the night makes him collapse. Seth thinks porn would probably kill him. The only way he can fight it off is to think terrible thoughts, like his wife being disemboweled.
35:03 – Sean Garrett – “She Geeked” feat. Tyga and Gucci Mane
38:42 – Trace Adkins – “Ala-Freakin-Bama”
3:46 – Michael Sanders is a DEA agent. He is in charge of searching for nine ebonics translators in Atlanta, Washington D.C., New Orleans and Miami to help interpret wiretapped conversations involving targets of drug investigations. (The term “ebonics” is a hybrid of “ebony” and “phonics” and was coined in Oakland in 1996 in reference to black urban slang.) Says Sanders, “You need someone to say, I know what they mean when they say ‘BAAALLLLINNN!!’”
17:33 – Rudy Giuliani attended a minor league baseball game between the Brooklyn Cyclones and the Staten Island Yankees at the Cyclones’ MCU Park. Rudy threw out the first pitch and then spoke to reporters. One of the reporters asked him, “Who are you rooting for tonight?” He responded, “I remember I came here the Friday before 9-11. There was a beautiful view of the World Trade Center right from where I’m standing.”
56:18 – Peter Facinelli has 1,550,000 followers on Twitter. He’s a low-rent Skeet Ulrich. “We haven’t trended anything in a while. Let’s trend. Tweet an outrageous little-known fact about yourself. Y? For fun.” … “When I was 12 I got hit by a car. I was fine but the car was totaled.” … “I eat more than 50 eggs. Makes me a little cooler than Cool Hand Luke.” … “I can karate-chop a marble table in half.” … “I’ve walked across the U.S. barefoot twice.” … “I shot the sheriff, but I didn’t shoot the deputy.” … “I like to take long walks off of short piers.” … “I tweet, therefore I am.”
50:25 – Narcolepsy with Cataplexy
26:06 – In Wall Street news, drug testing firm Sterling Info Systems shows that cocaine use is going down on Wall Street while marijuana use is going up. In 2007, 16% of positive testing tested for cocaine. In 2009 it dropped to 7%. Marijuana use went from 64% of positive tests in 2007 to 80% in 2009.
What Seth Learned on the Monsterweb
28:05 – Seth goes to Wikipedia to look up Giovanni Ribisi because he’s trying to figure out the name of a shitty movie with him and Ben Affleck. He finds out he’s 35 years old and that he owns a 3D company that worked on Avatar. Turns out the movie was Boiler Room starring Vin Diesel.
29:36 – An investigation into Georgia’s sexual offender registry has found that the website is riddled with inaccuracies and errors containing dates, crimes, addresses and descriptions. It’s leaving many parents in Georgia flustered because they can’t keep track. Seth says the solution is to stay in your house and assume that everyone not in your house is a sex offender/predator.
7:46 – Seth hasn’t even seen the movie Piranha: 3D, but from what he’s told they eat a dick and spit it out at you in 3-D, plus two lesbians make out topless underwater.
8:22 – Amir’s dad got a 3-D television, and it comes with two pairs of glasses. Amir says it’s not that dope, it’s a little janky to watch, plus you’re having to wear T-Pain sunglasses with it.
14:35 – Jah has been through Seth’s current state of cleanliness with drugs and alcohol, and he says there’s a lot of freedom with deciding to end celibacy from anything. Seth claims he’s been living a nightmare because it’s been a lifetime since he drank or did drugs. He says his dreams are not night terrors, but are wildly unpleasant dreams that he wishes he wouldn’t have seen or experienced. He just wakes up and realizes it’s been 8 1/2 years of sheer hell.
1:01:27 – A UYD listener texted Jah the following joke: What’s the last thing you want to hear when you’re blowing Willie Nelson? “I’m really not Willie Nelson.”
6:22 – James Cameron is going to re-release Avatar, a special edition that includes nine minutes of never-before-seen footage including an appearance of the sturmbeests – dinosaur-like creatures who aid the Na’vi in the final jungle scene.
22:34 – Jah reads from an Aug. 23 article about an invisible heat-beam weapon developed in secrecy by the military and is now set for use in U.S. prisons. Law enforcement officials recently revealed plans to use the non-lethal device at the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department’s Pitchess Detention Center in Castaic, Calif. It is a weapon that shoots an invisible beam of energy. It would be used in the prisoners’ dormitory to stop an assault and/or break up a fight. It’s called the Assault Intervention Device. It’s made by Raytheon. It uses millimeter waves to heat the top layer of skin causing an intense burning sensation that forces the person being targeted to move away immediately.
31:37 – June 16 was Family Day at the Adult Diagnostic and Treatment Center in Avenel, N.J. It is a specialized prison filled with only sex offenders. The program was attended by 210 inmates and 534 relatives. 116 of the relatives were children. One convicted sex offender touched the breasts of a 9-year-old niece of a fellow inmate. He had no visitors but was still allowed to attend. The NJ Department of Corrections promises an overhaul ceremony.
42:35 – Dan Duffy has been running a chiropractic practice out of a strip mall in Perry, Iowa, for the last 12 years. A patient filed a complaint that when she was being examined for a back injury, while lying on her stomach with her shirt pulled up, Duffy began massaging her lower back and buttocks area. He then briefly left the room and returned and she claimed she heard him unzip his pants and described a “masturbating-like sound.” She left the exam with her mother and they drove to the police station and she had her back swabbed. Evidence confirmed sperm from her back matched Dan Duffy’s DNA.
45:22 – In 1987 Congress enacted the Nursing Home Reform Law to address evidence of widespread abuse of nursing home patients. “The states followed suit with a strong set of regulations that would guarantee the residents were free from abuse and had quality of care and real quality of life,” says Robin Grant, a national senior care advocate who was involved in drafting some of these rules. Apparently there a lot of residents who request nurses based specifically on race, and because of patients’ rights a black nurse can’t legally help a man who fell to the floor. “Tension over patients’ rights and race come up occasionally in virtually every state in the U.S.,” says Steven Maag, director of assisted living and continued care at the American Association of Homes and Assisted Care for the Aging. “You have to remember, the nursing home residents grew up in the time of Jim Crow. Even in the north, they regressed back.”
53:38 – USA Today had an analysis of all federal aviation accident records for the past 10 years. They found that flaws in the flight simulator training that all commercial airline pilots go through are the cause of almost all commercial airplane crashes. That is to say that the National Transportation Safety Board said habits taught in training have led to catastrophic mistakes. Things that pilots did in order to avoid crashes directly led to crashes (i.e.) altitude choices, rudder choices and speed choices.
2:04 – Jah says it’s nice to be back. Seth says they are together again on a little phrase he’s coined called “The Road to the Broad.” He announces that the Oct. 2 7:30 p.m. live show in Santa Monica is sold out and there has been an additional performance added at 9:30 p.m.
11:41 – Seth says good luck to all the NFL teams
12:39 – Jah says the depression he slipped into after the last UYD live show was epic. He says his ashram was lovely, however. One day all he ate was a grain of rice.
19:43 – Seth says that J-Dawg needs a catchphrase. He wonders if they could write Jim Carrey a letter and ask if Jah could take “Smmmoookin!” as his own catchphrase after Carrey would inevitably realize how much better Jah’s was.
31:05 – Jah gives us another taste of Aaron Neville and Led Zeppelin, which he calls “Never Say Neville.”
43:22 – Jah’s new catchphrase is “Dat Be Duffy’s Seed.”
48:28 – This country feels more racist to Jah right now than it ever has in his life – not in daily interaction but in what it seems like people running the world are having to deal with.
58:25 – Jah wishes Seth a Happy 9/02/10 Day.
1:04:15 – For Grandparents’ Day, Seth will be hanging out with Jeff, relaxing. They’ll probably go to lunch, Piranha: 3D, take a nap and catch the Cowboys’ game.
1:05:58 – Amber is the color of their energy
13:02 – A new paper in the journal Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research, says that heavy drinkers outlive non-drinkers. Seth thanks them for that study and decides to go die 12 years earlier than everyone else who’s having a party.
11:52 – Seth says he will see us all on Feb. 6, 2011 at the Super Bowl – which the Cowboys will be in.
49:53 – Seth and Jah tell everyone to just keep your racist shit to yourselves and just go bowling – or as J-Dawg says, “Straight BOOOWWWWLIN!!!”