View Episode 238
Originally aired 10.05.2010
1:01:47 – Seth and Jah forget to say “Seatbelts” !
7:43 – Seth mentions Sister Wives on TLC, which features a 41-year-old man named Cody Brown and his three wives and 16 kids, living in a home designed by a polygamist that looks like a TV set. A closet door connects to a new house. He wants to add a fourth wife but the other three aren’t down with it. Cody wanted everybody to know that “Love should be multiplied, not divided.”
14:53 – Monday, Oct. 4 is the 20-year anniversary of the very first episode of Beverly Hills: 90210
17:47 – Yoko Ono’s tweets are the only ones that Jah has ever enjoyed (Episode 221, 40:24). She has 1 million followers: “Imagine letting a goldfish swim across the sky. Let it swim from the east to the west. Now drink a liter of water.” … “Imagine 1,000 suns in the sky at the same time. Let them shine 1 hour, then let them gradually melt in the sky. Make one tuna fish sandwich and eat.” … “I woke up in a room in my parents’ summer house. It was in Japan, I was 17.” … “Real blood smells of an ocean. Ketchup smells of commerce.” … “A gush of wind intercepted my train of thought and gave me a rest.” Jah is a crazy fan of hers but not of her music. He’s a crazy fan of Cornelius, who is in her band (Episode 101, 40:35).
55:34 – Jah decides to read a poem from a little bit later on in his life. He first laid eyes on it three years ago. He thinks he might be sober at this point and having a new spiritual awakening in which he renounced the Rastafarian spiritual awakening: From the hand of God it was molded / Its permanency / The cosmic drive to pass the test of time / One way or another / Its makeup is locked in a rock-hard impenetrable seed / Leaving us accepting our slavery to it / We make movements that surpass our own volition / We hold vigil for a belief uncertain to us / Much less to others / It is caked on our fingertips like tar / We travel knee deep in it / It confides in us; we extend our limits / All we know is that we have divine love / Men we are no longer when in its midst / Our weakness, our strength / Brevity or length has no pertinence / For a nanosecond, and then again we are left / With attempts to retrace the steps taken that arrived us to that plane / A direct line between us and something so much more / For me, I have no other option / Headfirst I’ve innocently jumped / As of now I’m only learning to tread water / But one day I will seize it / And chances are it will once again liquefy / And seep through the imperfect seams in my fingers.
3:33 – Jah’s mom handed him some stuff today. There must be a secret box she’s kept of crazy shit that J-dawg did. Thie one says on the top in pseudo-tag writing: DESIRE DESTINATIONS – 1) Galapagos Islands, 2) Ethiopia (both spelled incorrectly), 3) Big Bear, Snow Summit, Lake Tahoe, 4) Oregon, 5) Sedona – to go camping, 6) Oakland Dead shows for Chinese New Year, and 7) Camping in Zion National Park
43:20 – Jah reiterates that his mom gave him some shit. The two biggest things she gave him that he didn’t really know existed were a couple letters he wrote to high schools that he didn’t get in to. One of them was called Thatcher, a fancy boarding school in Ojai with a good lacrosse team. He was asked to answer a few questions and choose some essays. Q: What are your hobbies and interests? A: My hobbies are playing guitar, archery, playing paintball wars and collecting baseball cards. Interests I have are in acting, music and many sports. My favorite is football because it pushes me to my physical limit. Q: In what sports do you actively participate? A: Archery. (Jah says his dad confirmed that Jah had a target up in the backyard). Q: Have you ever held a job of any sort? If so, please provide details. A: I have been in a commercial and I appeared in Saturday Night Live, a television show (Episode 067, 19:53). Jah then reads a portion of his essay: “I was actually excited when my mother told me I was going to this camp – a survival school, actually – but my excitement soon changed abruptly. The previous year had not been as successful as I would have liked and I had been unappreciative of what I had. That summer what I really wanted to do was nothing but go to the beach and bum around. Luckily, my parents wouldn’t allow that. On the plane to camp I met a young man named P.J. who was also going to this camp. He was just as worried as I was. Neither of us had been away from home for a month. The day that we got there we were immediately thrown into a strange world about which we knew nothing. Imagine being stripped of everything you own and everything you take for granted, like showers, decent food, clean clothes, television, telephones, even electricity, and being left to your own resources. We hiked for miles and chopped wood and prepared for a five-day survival hike in which he had to find our own food or get sick from hunger. At the time I was miserable and I could not wait to get home. Now that I look back on it though, I am grateful my parents let me go, because I came home stronger, with more confidence and an appreciation for my good fortune. I do not want to go back, but perhaps if I forget my lessons there, I will need to return to the wilderness to find them.”
10:48 – Jah literally lives like three blocks away from the Broad Stage. He sees a lot of college girls who shop together, and the shit they put in their bodies is so gross. A lot of taquitos, a giant box of tampons, frozen bean burritos, etc. He always assumed when he was younger that guys hung out and ate gross shit, but now he realizes that girls hang out, wear sweats, watch True Blood and eat mad gross shit.
15:03 – Seth had an encounter at the Whole Foods on Tuesday with Luke Perry. It was so legit and Seth gave it to him so intensely that Perry thought maybe Seth was being ironic (Episode 070, 11:54), so then Seth had to double back and explain that he was wearing an Air Jordan Flight jacket when Donny Hills went to pick him up from his school and they discussed last night’s show.
16:04 – Before the show, Jah handed Seth a Details magazine from 1994 with Luke Perry on the cover.
21:44 – Jah has been eating a lot of meat. He used to consider himself abou the dirtiest, most militant hippie around, but he’s been eating it and it tastes wicked good. He still has crazy contemplative conversations with himself, but there’s an undeniability as far as how it affects Jah’s body. He feels better with it in him. He watches Seth eat so well, and Jah is a lazy person and being a vegetarian he finds himself eating cake and cheese, which grinds him down after a while. For 14 years he didn’t eat any kind of meat, and now he’s full bore – he ate kobe beef meatballs the other day. Seth then says he was sober for just as long and now he takes Budweiser baths. So basically Jah is full of shit.
25:17 – Jah is trying to remember where he got arrested in North Carolina. It was Asheville. He got arrested for mushrooms there this year. They were a gift from a UYD listener. It was a Schedule 1 offense where he was. In the counties outside of it it would’ve been a misdemeanor ticket, but he was facing 15 months in prison for it. Jah said it was fine now because he’s adhering to his probation. Seth says the real reason it’s fine is because they got ahold of Jah’s dad. Jah was playing a show, and when he got off stage, the guy corralled them all in the green room and searched their stuff. No one else on the tour had a stitch of drugs on them, so Jah was the only one sinking the ship. While he was sitting in the police station, Jah saw some people. The dude closest to him sat down, his shoes were off and he had blood streaming down his face. He had split his forehead open. He had slammed directly into a brick wall in his car. He was 22 years old and kept saying “I’m going to jail, bro.” It was his third strike for DUI. Meanwhile Jah was just sitting there petrified, not wanting to be where he was. There was another guy next to this dude who kept asking if he could go to the bathroom. Everyone who was there, the police knew their first names. Finally let they let the dude go to the bathroom after 45 minutes, and about 10 minutes later, he walks out and has just shit all over the floor. Jah was beside himself. He said getting arrested in the South is the real deal – it’s not like getting arrested in Malibu.
33:53 – Jah says he hasn’t dressed up in his adult life at all, but Seth tells him he dressed up as John Popper four years ago. He was about 50-60 pounds heavier back then, and he put a pillow underneath the costume. His friends’ consensus was that he didn’t need the pillow. Jah also dressed up as a Deadhead in 2007 (Episode 089, 2:34).
36:58 – Jah talks about a good friend of the show, Erin, who he wishes was there at the live show. In reference to the man ejaculating into the woman’s water bottle, Erin has direct connection, being friends of the co-worker that that happened to.
39:45 – Jah used to zip himself up in a suitcase when he was a kid all the time. He thought it was really funny that he could fit inside of a suitcase.
53:12 – Jah references the story of him and his mom barfing from the Catalina ferry on people’s windows (Episode 198, 9:04).
54:30 – Seth went to church with his mother on Christmas and the priest was yelling out “Who has come the farthest on this journey to Jesus?!” Seth was curious what the furthest one of the guests at the Broad traveled from. People shout out various inaudible locations.
5:23 – Monday, Oct. 11 is National Coming Out Day.
5:50 – County penal institutions in at least eight states have adopted a trend in “jail mail,” requiring inmates to send and receive only postcards (Seth Style). Officials say multiple stamped envelopes can contain drugs on the backs of the stamps, and longer letters can contain coded messages, while weapons can be hidden in packages with multiple items. Some inmates don’t feel like using the postcards because it draws attention to their home. In Colorado Springs, the inmates must use a postcard that features the prison on the front of the postcard.
9:28 – The number of pounds gained by women with obese roommates their freshman year of college is .5 pounds. The number of pounds gained by women with thin roommates is 2.5 pounds.
12:32 – James Franco got his MFA in Creative Writing from Columbia University and fell asleep in his lecture. Now he’s claiming he got a D in his acting class.
35:09 – According to the National Retail Federation, Americans plan to spend an average of $66.28 on costumes, decorations and candy. It is up from the national average of $56.31. 4 in 10 people say they plan on dressing up, which is the highest ever in this survey. Jah assumes they’re talking about adults.
38:06 – A New Hampshire couple got a newsletter from Parenting magazine. It was called “Holiday Hints.” The newsletter showed a young child playing in an open suitcase with her genitals clearly exposed. The family alerted the newsletter to the photo immediately, then received this statement from Parenting expressing regret at publishing the photo: “Hello. Thank you for getting in touch with us to express your concern over the unquestionably inappropriate photo which mistakenly appeared in our most recent newsletter. The staff of Parenting deeply regrets the unintentional inclusion of this image – a photograph taken by a professional photographer and intended to be cropped for appropriate viewing.”
40:27 – Transportation Security Administration believes giving workers greater access to intelligence will help stop terrorist attacks. They’re expanding the number of employees with “secret clearances” to 10,000 – which is 1/6 of the entire agency’s workforce. The clearances gives agency employees access to information that has been labeled “classified.”
2:09 – Seth can’t see Jah as they begin the live show. He’s not nervous at all. This is no big whoop. He claims the Sundance was just detailed and is available for photo ops.
4:45 – Seth holds up another European residuals check from the Screen Actors Guild from Crossroads, which played three times in Switzerland and once in Sweden for a total gross of $12.65. Jah asks if he can read out the last four digits of Seth’s social, and he says yes because he has LifeLock.
16:32 – Seth thanks the audience for being there, because he understood that Yoko Ono was at the Orpheum Theatre tonight and they could’ve been there instead of at the Broad.
37:58 – Jah has to pee. He tried to pee beforehand but it just wouldn’t come out right.
42:50 – J-dawg is hurting. He has to pee so bad.
59:45 – Jah thanks every single person who came out and bought a ticket – everyone who made the “Road to the Broad” what it is. He specifically thanks Weck and Nick, Dimitri and Jordan who helped facilitate this, and Wendell. The DJ this evening, Turquoise Wisdom (aka Zach), is bomb. Jah announces that after the 9:30 p.m. show they will be going to a bar around 11:30 called Renee’s on Wilshire between 5th and 6th Street.
20:20 – A study that will appear in the 2011 issue of Journal of Consumer Psychology presented 934 participants with various foods – spanning from vice foods to cheeseburgers and cheesecake to virtue foods like salads. When volunteers were shown a bowl of chili with cheese, the average estimate of the total calories that were in it were 699 calories. When volunteers were shown the same chili and cheese with a small salad on the side, the average estimate of total calories was 656.
23:48 – A study done by insurance.com compiled the U.S. cities with the most DUIs reported from insurance companies. The top 5 cities for drunk driving are: 5) Columbus, Ohio; 4) Phoenix, Ariz.; 3) Charlotte, N.C.; 2) San Jose, Calif.; and 1) San Diego, Calif.
30:10 – A survey of 700 teens for State Farm Insurance found that teenagers think that texting while driving is not as dangerous as driving drunk. 55% of them believe they could be killed if they drink and drive, while only 36% feel the same way about texting. Jah admits that he texts a lot while driving. He wonders if this is violating his probation in North Carolina.
36:15 – A study in Psychological Science reported that women apologize more frequently than men in a given day (“That’s because they fuck up more,” says Jah). A second study looked at social situations that would warrant an apology and they found that women consistenly rated these petty offenses as way more severe than men did.
48:31 – A new study shows that female managers in the United States make 81 cents for every $1 that their male counterparts make.
51:52 – Researchers at UCLA have begun a study of people suffering from MdDS (Mal de Debarquement syndrome), or disembarkment syndrome. It is a rare condition that occurs usually after a cruise. It is marked by a constant swaying sensation, dizziness, headaches, cognitive impairment, a constant feeling of intense seasickness. The symptoms can last for three months to three years.
7:09 – Jah mentions the JLR story from Episode 236, in which all his mail could subject to inspection by prison personnel.
24:06 – Seth goes off on New Orleans. He wants to be down with it because Jah’s dad is from there, but he thinks it’s just slightly obnoxious. Seth says New Orleans is the Robin Williams of cities.
35:28 – Jah goes off on America for spending more money on Halloween than the year before when no one has no money.
19:56 – Jah does his crazy Yoko Ono impersonation.