View Episode 242
Originally aired 10.26.2010
1:13:49 – Jah: “Seatbelts?”
1:13:42 – UYD: Boobs are coming
3:24 – Ashton Kutcher has sold another blog to CBS to turn into a television show: Dear Girls Above Me. “It’s two annoying girls moved into the apartment above me and I’m forced to hear every dumb thing they say. These are my letters to them.”
39:25 – Seth was upset that he didn’t get profiles of the Lingerie Football League but he enjoyed getting intimate with his Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team. The three favorite books that were on every single cheerleader’s profile were The Bible, Harry Potter and Twilight. One of the cheerleaders, Kelsi Reich, writes on her profile: “Hi y’all! My number one priority in my life is my Christian faith and my walk with God. He has blessed me my entire life and I love him more than anything. Jesus gave his life for me so I give him all the glory for everything I do and everything I have.” Her favorite TV shows were Dancing With the Stars, CSI: Miami, George Lopez and Wheel of Fortune. Her favorite movies were Step Up, Step Up 2, Big Daddy, Mr. Deeds, 50 First Dates, Maid in Manhattan, and The Proposal.
51:05 – Growing The Big One is on the Hallmark Channel, starring Shannen Doherty. She’s a radio DJ named Emma Silver, who leads a chic city live in Seattle until she finds out her beloved grandfather has passed. Traveling to his farm in quaint Valleyville, Wash., to take care of the details, she’s stunned to learn her grandfather has left her his farm – along with a sizable amount of debt. To keep the bank from foreclosing, Emma must find a way to raise the money or face seeing her grandfather’s precious land end up as a parking lot. Following her grandfather’s famed legacy, Emma decides to enter Valleyville’s annual pumpkin growing contest with his prized seeds and growing the world-record biggest gourd. If she can win the grand prize of $50 Gs, she can save the farm. But farming isn’t Emma’s forté, and she soon realizes she has traded in the glamorous city lights to find herself knee-deep in manure. The pressure to win is even greater when the vicious new radio station manager, Kate – Sarah-Jane Redmond from Smallville – revamps Emma’s show to include complete coverage from the pumpkin patch. Then, Emma’s annoying neighbor, Seth – Stargate Atlantis’ Kavan Smith – cons Emma into becoming partners to get a share of the prized money. But as the two spend the summer nurturing their pumpkin plants, they grow closer and a romance develops. Finally feeling at home, Emma begins to carve out a simpler life in the country. But a relationship with Seth is threatened when her radio show becomes a hit and she gets a job offer in New York City. Will Emma be able to grow the biggest pumpkin and win the money to save her grandfather’s farm, or is the greatest prize one she just can’t put a price on?
10:14 – Jah wants to know if Seth is going to have a “Rock Hard Weekend.” They would both love to have one. They wish it could be guaranteed. RHW started airing their first nationally televised commercial in August, but RHW are now really pushing their new product on cable. Although it was recalled in November of 2009, they claim it is totally safe. “It’s the only pill you can take with alcohol and still get a rock-hard experience in 30 minutes or less.”
What Seth Learned on the Monsterweb
12:46 – There’s a movie in theaters right now called Conviction. It stars Hillary Swank and Sam Rockwell. Seth looked it up to find out more. It’s a true story about Kenneth Waters. He was convicted of murder and armed robbery and sentenced to life in prison in 1983 when he was 29 years old. He maintained at the time that he did not do it, and his family maintained innocence, etc. In a random 5-day trial, they brought up the fact that when he was 10 years old he broke into the woman’s house and was sent to reform school because of it. The blood found at the crime scene was the same blood type as his. His sister, Betty Anne (played by Swank), was a high school dropout but put herself through law school because she wanted to spend her life trying to get him out of prison. She spends 18 years researching the case until finally she finds a box of evidence with her brother’s name on it sitting in the courthouse basement. It has the knife from the incident and pieces of clothes found at the crime scene that have dried-up blood on it. It’s now 1991 and they have DNA, she brings it to the Innocence Project, a team of people help her out and DNA tests prove that he wasn’t at the scene and was working a double-shift at his restaurant like all his co-workers corroborated. He’s released in 2001 after 18 years in Walpole, Mass., maximum-security prison. He’s 49 years old. The first thing he does is get out, get a corned beef sandwich and go to town on it. He goes to Starbucks to check it out, he gets a cell phone, etc. Six months after he gets out, he has dinner at his mom’s house and is walking to his brother’s house after dinner, takes a shortcut, falls off a 15-foot wall, fractures his skull and dies.
34:36 – Elle magazine is celebrating their 25th anniversary. They put a video on their website of attractive actresses and models, talking about memorable birthdays in their lives and talking about what it meant as a milestone. Leonardo DiCaprio’s supermodel girlfriend, Bar Refaeli, is doing her video testimonial, and says “Twenty-five looked really, really old. I remember when I was 14, I had a boyfriend who was 25.”
Crazy Things Dudes Say While Boning Down
21:38 – Jah wants to know if Seth got any calls. Seth confirms he received many calls. One nice Southern girl claims a guy she was with had the tiniest dick ever, and he would call at midnight and ask her to come over. The protocol was that she would give him a BJ, and during oral sex he would get very masculine and be like, “Yeah. Gag on it.” … Another female African American claims she had only had sex with black guys up until this point. This was the first time she was having sex with a white guy. It was also the first time this white guy had had sex with a black girl. Her skin color was of upmost importance to him. At different intervals, while hovering over her, he would repeat, “I can’t believe I’m fucking a black girl.” She says the intercourse was good, but also during the session he managed to mention “Beyonce” and “Zoe Saldana.” Afterward she thought, “I hope I never have sex again.”
4:55 – Jordan told Seth that Brett Favre texted cock shots months ago, but Seth first heard about it in the mass media three days ago. Jah doesn’t want to believe that Favre had Crocs on in the pictures he sent. Seth can’t believe Favre is a grandfather who sends pictures of his dong via text message.
9:43 – We all know Jah owned a pair of Crocs, which he wore while gardening and podcasting (Episode 011, 2:52). He’s supposed to deny that never happened, because his girlfriend is ashamed of it.
16:39 – When Jah was a kid, his dad was in a Movie of the Week called Convicted (1985), about a mailman who gets convicted of rape and sent away. John plays the letter carrier. The character goes to jail for something he didn’t do and gets attacked and stabbed in prison. J-dawg remembers crying while watching it. Lindsay Wagner plays his wife, and Jenny Lewis plays his daughter. Jenny told Jah about having a weird “dad crush” on John later on.
30:25 – Seth was with somebody last Friday, and was scheduled to meet Jonathan in a few minutes, but the person he was with said, “Oh I have a text from Jonathan.” Seth doesn’t understand why, but he reads the text out loud, and it said “I just hit an 81-year-old Russian man in my car on Melrose.” Jonathan explains that he was running late to an appointment he and Seth were having together. He cut through some side streets and came to a stop sign, where he thought he was clear to make a left-hand turn. He then realized there was a large older Russian man in the crosswalk, and managed to perfectly line up the pillar of his car to where the man was completely eclipsed, and it wasn’t until his face was in Jah’s driver’s side window that he saw him. The man leaped out of the way, and Jah hit the man’s foot. Jah immediately stopped, rolled down the window and yelled “Oh my God are you OK!” The man said, “If I hadn’t moved you would have hit me?” The man says he’s fine and walks across the street. Jah goes about 10 feet and pulls over and looks at him, and the man has put his hand on a fence and the other hand on his heart. Jah freaks out and comes over to him, asking him if he’s OK. The guy says he won’t sue Jah because he’s not that type of person and tells Jah to drive away. Jah insists on staying with him, so the man lets J-dawg walk him to his house. The man was favoring his foot the whole way home.
47:12 – Jah talks about his experience with The Social Network. He didn’t really like it. He likes Jesse Eisenberg but wasn’t down with the movie at all. Jah admits that the story was interesting, but the movie almost makes the story less interesting because nobody in the movie is particularly likeable. His best friend is the only one who has to go through any kind of emotional arc whatsoever. Jah says Timberlake sucked in it, and there were four different versions of that character in that movie and Jah didn’t buy any of them. Jah liked Fincher and he liked so many things in the movie, but the whole movie he kept saying to himself, “This is going to get better.” It never got better.
59:07 – Seth had tickets to a U2 show at the Rose Bowl and said it wasn’t worth driving to Pasadena to see them.
59:14 – Jah’s dad asked him last night if he wanted to go see Leon Russell and Elton John play together at the Palladium. Jah momentarily thought about how Leon Russell was the best but it was so long ago. It was one of those things he wanted to say yes to, but then he thought about the reality of it and decided against it.
6:52 – Since 2006, Toms Shoes has donated 1 pair of their shoes, called “El Paraguitas,” for every pair they’ve sold at $44. Skechers has released their line, called Bobs, which sell for $42 a pair, and Skechers donates two pairs for each pair sold.
29:19 – The Pentagon has begun work on a new military humvee called The Transformer. It’s the ultimate weapon, as it will have folding wings that will pop out from the side, allowing the vehicle to fly.
45:23 – On July, 9, 2009, in Episode 174 (1:11) of UYD, Seth and Jonathan talked about Bill and Ted’s Arclight Adventure, where Alex Winter and Keanu Reeves were having lunch at the Arclight Theaters in Hollywood. MTV has announced part 3 of this movie.
57:40 – U2 says they’re releasing a brand-new studio album in 2011. Bono said, “We are convinced we have something really special.” Seth is convinced that it’s entirely not special.
1:05:11 – The estimated life span for Latinos born in 2006 is 80 years, Whites – 78 years, and Blacks – 73 years.
1:59 – Jah slows down the audio so it sounds chopped and screwed.
2:14 – Seth is afraid he’s older than Justin Bieber’s father, which brings up a lot of issues and questions for him.
1:09:09 – Seth is puzzled that people still do kooky voicemail greetings on their cell phones that started off “Hello? Hello? I can’t hear you.” Jah wants to go back to all landlines because Seth has a blessed, charmed life.
18:47 – A study has come out about teen birth rates for girls ages 15-19. The averages are for every 1,000 teenage girls in Germany, 10 babies. It’s 13 babies for every 1,000 girls in Canada. In Mississippi, the number is 65 babies for every 1,000 girls.
56:19 – Newsweek reported a new survey that found that 39% of Americans aged 9-17 said that the information they find online is always correct.
1:00:14 – In the journal Neural Networks, a team of psychologists took 64 infants aged 18 months, put them in a lab, filled it with toys, put the kids in individually and let them play with the toys. There was a screen in the room and they would remove the screen, and behind it was a robot. The kids would peep it for a second, and then they brought in adults to come in as test subjects. Half of the adults would talk to the robots, and the other half of the adults totally ignored the robot. They would leave the room, and the kids would play with it again. The robot would turn its head and stare at a toy or object, and if the adults were talking to the robot the babies would go to that toy, but if the adults avoided the robot, the babies would ignore the toys the robot was staring at.
1:10:29 – A listener left a message for Seth and informed him of a study that Seth might be interested in called “Feeling the Future” in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology conducted by Daryl Bem from Cornell University. Seth couldn’t read it because it was a non-edited draft but he highlighted a couple things in it about ESP: “Physiological indicators of participants’ emotional arousal are monitored as they view a series of pictures on a computer screen. Most of the pictures are emotionally neutral, but, on randomly selected trials, a highly arousing negative or erotic image is displayed. As expected, strong emotional arousal occurs when these images appear on the screen, but the remarkable finding is that the increased arousal is observed to occur a few seconds before the picture appears – before the computer has even selected it.” One-hundred Cornell students were shown 48 common nouns and given 3 seconds to observe and visualize that noun in their heads. Then they were asked to type out as many words as they could remember. After that, a computer re-displayed half of those words. It turns out that the students more likely recalled the words that they were later asked to retype.