View Episode 243
Originally aired 11.01.10
1:16:17
21:04 – UYD: I guess you’re stuck with me
1:09:21 – UYD: High-five and die
1:16:13 – UYD: You’d still love me once the moonwalk stops
11:38 – Max on TMZ was talking about a “turtle egg,” which is when you’re at the beach and you dig a hole in the sand and lay on your stomach and take a piss into the hole if you’re too lazy to get up and go to the bathroom.
12:41 – Seth and Jah watched a 20-year anniversary of Jerry Springer: Best Fights, Best Transsexuals. At this point Jah described it as the same sensation of watching footage of World War II, where it seems distant and weird and you wonder how it ever happened. They have a couple million people watching it now, but in the mid- to late-90s there were 11-12 million people consistently watching it.
19:22 – Seth is loving Melissa and Joey on ABC Family on Tuesday nights at 8:00. He can’t keep it to himself so he shares the excellent theme song with Jah.
26:48 – Robin Williams was a guest on The Tonight Show. Seth knew we were in trouble when he was introduced to Bobby McFerrin’s “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.” He started off with his Jamaican accent. He was instantaneously a magician, then a Confederate soldier, then a baseball announcer, then a deaf guy, then a gay dude from San Francisco, a GPS voice in both a bitchy English accent and a Scottish accent. At this point Seth had to go urinate with one arm up against the wall because he was having a full panic attack. Robin then went into his voice after just inhaling helium, then both he and Jay Leno do battling Schwarzeneggers, then he does a stoner, then he makes his hands talk, then he goes into a Southern hick, then he ends it with his Australian accent since he’s going to do live shows in Australia. He had really bad comedy bits interspersed in there – “What about those green cars? How about a car that runs on shit called the brown car? Put a tube right up my butt and put it right into the car. Fire in the hole!” After this, Judd Apatow comes out and blows Robin for another 10 minutes, showing him a collage he made and talking about the Improv in 1981.
32:45 – Seth watched a special on HBO called Brave New Voices about the 2010 National Youth Poetry Slam Championship in Los Angeles. He saw a lot of snapping from audience members. It was hosted by Common and Rosario Dawson.
36:01 – Seth watched CBS News Sunday Morning, and they were talking about “the big one,” or the next massive earthquake that will hit Southen California (Episode 239, 45:16). Researchers might be able to give people a 1-minute warning before the earthquake hits. They talked about getting an app so people could be alerted. Seth was worried that it might get hacked and that there would be sheer terror for one minute in Los Angeles.
45:19 – Seth watched E:60 on ESPN and saw the Ultimate B-Boy Championships that took place in Las Vegas in August. One kid said, “Represent Russia! If you don’t know today, you will know!” He later said, “Yeah feel good, like a sex machine! James Brown, rest in peace man.” The crew Killifornia lost to the crew from St. Petersburg, Russia, in the finals.
5:54 – Seth thinks Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) will kick in during Daylight Saving Time when it’s pitch black at 6 p.m. (Episode 019, 36:41)
44:34 – Jah doesn’t want to joke about babies, because he’s pissed about the Jacksonville woman who shook her baby to death because the baby interrupted her while she was playing Farmville. Jah immediately started judging his friends who played Farmville because of this.
52:45 – IN: Bleisure travel. It’s a growing trend this year. The term mixes “blood” with “leisure.” It’s business travelers combining their work with leisure by either bringing along their family or significant others on business trips or taking extra time before or after a meeting or conference to just relax.
8:51 – Seth has Jah read an anonymous letter that his parents received from a neighbor in 1993.
Crazy Things Dudes Say While Boning Down
22:07 – One guy looks a girl in the eye while fucking her and says in an Austin Powers accent: “Do I make you horny, baby? You know where that’s from?” … Another girl was dating a guy and everything was going relatively OK. The girl said her mom is very attractive, and her boyfriend at the time had acknowledged that in his own private time and had no problem, while having intercourse with her, to tell her, “I’m thinking about your mom” and also “I wish you were your mom.”
7:12 – It’s Seth’s mother’s birthday today. She was cleaning out her house and going through drawers and sent some stuff to Seth. There was an awesome photo from a 1981 issue of the Haverhill Gazette of Marcia and Aunt Carol doing fall shopping. There was another anonymous letter that Marcia and Seth’s father received in the mail from a neighbor on Aug. 31, 1993. Seth thinks he was at home that summer as a mailman, while his parents were going to a beautiful home in Scarborough, Maine. Seth was 19 years old. The letter reads, Mr. & Mrs. Joseph Romatelli, An invitation to the last of a series of parties that started July 3, 1993. Time: 8 p.m. Until: ??? Plenty of noise, plenty of booze, plenty of broads. Location: ____ Given by: Seth the Jet
13:39 – Seth remembers living on N. Beachwood in 1995 and taking bong hits while watching Jerry Springer at 11:00 at night.
42:44 – Jah goes old-school with his scents. He’s an Aqua-Velva type guy, coupled with Nivea lotion, Old Spice and Stetson.
43:09 – UYD’s good friend Sal’s father puts fresh lemon on his body every day.
52:22 – Seth almost fucked up Mandy Patinkin when he and Jah saw him at Art’s Deli in the Valley because he’s a cocky motherfucker (Episode 100 - Part I, 19:17)
1:04:52 – Love is so hard. Jah has tried hard and failed at it. When he looks at he and Justine from an outsider’s perspective, it is something to respect and honor, even though he knows the doomed outcome.
1:10:59 – Jah was walking down the street last night walking his dogs, sniffing out potential mates. He saw two women in their early 40s who were identical twins. They sort of looked a little bit like Marge Simpson’s two sisters. They’re walking down the street toward him on a single cell phone between their heads. One of them is holding it up and both are listening to it (not on speaker). One of them says something into the phone which Jah can’t remember. The other one turns to her identical twin and says, “Don’t say that. You can’t say that.” The other one responds, “I can say what I want. I’m my own person.”
2:23 – Frito-Lay has a few different snack items, like Doritos, Fritos, Cheetos, Fun-yuns, Cracker Jack, Ruffles, Lay’s, Tostitos, etc. Their website lists all of their products and will also tell you if they are porcine-free. Porcine-free refers to swine, because many of their products are tainted with pork enzymes.
5:01 – On Sunday, Nov. 7 at 2 a.m., it is Daylight Saving Time.
16:23 – American Samoa is in the South Pacific. It’s in essence a part of us. Their head of state is Barack Obama. Technically they’re a state, and they would be the No. 1 most obese state with 93.5 percent of its population considered overweight.
29:31 – A man was arrested for allegedly ejaculating on a woman and exposing himself to her in a school library in Tacoma Park, Md. on Oct. 9. The man fled the library, returned briefly, then fled again as the woman was reporting the incident to police. Campus security chased him but he was able to get away in a car. DNA evidence was obtained. She did not know the man but was able to provide a description of him. Officers used the victim’s description and surveillance to identify the suspect as 29-year-old Oritse Ayu (Seth: “A! U! – (Episode 020, 16:43). He was arrested and is facing charges of second-degree assault and indecent exposure. Disturbingly, a similar incident occurred in Montgomery County on July 10 when a man was arrested for throwing semen on women who were shopping (Episode 231, 53:54).
39:46 – Tag body spray couldn’t keep up with the industry leader, Axe body spray. Since their debut in 2005, Tag had a scent called “The All-Nighter,” which is now called “Make Moves,” endorsed by Rob Dyrdek. “Midnight” is now called “Stay Up,” endorsed by Carmelo Anthony. “After Hours” is now called “Get Yours,” endorsed by Ludacris.
59:55 – Young couples are better than long-term partners at discerning their preferences. According to an article called “Getting To Know You,” two University of Basel psychologists Benjamin Scheibehenne and Jutta Mata, working with psychologist Peter Todd of Indiana University in Bloomington, observed this counter-intuitive pattern in 38 young couples aged 19-32 and 20 older couples aged 62-78. The greatest gap in partner knowledge was in predicting food preferences – an area with particular relevance to daily life. The scientists report in a paper scheduled to appear in the Journal of Consumer Psychology, “That wasn’t what we expected to find, but this evidence lends support to a hypothesis that accuracy in predicting each other’s preferences decreases over the course of a relationship despite greater time and opportunity to learn about each other’s likes and dislikes,” Todd said October 13 during a visit to the University of Basel. Older couples’ knowledge decline partly reflects a tendency by partners to pay increasingly less attention to one another, because they view their relationship as firmly committed or assume that they have little left to learn about each other, the researchers propose. Consistent with that hypothesis, long-term partners in the new study expressed more overconfidence in their knowledge about each others’ preferences than people in short relationships did. It’s also possible that older couples in the new study come from a generation in which men and women generally knew less about each other to begin with than couples do today. What’s more, long-term partners may be especially apt to tell “white lies” to each other in order to keep the relationship running smoothly, thus diluting their knowledge of one another.
1:54 – Jonathan gave Seth the actual totem used in Inception and he has just begun spinning it. This way they can actually know if this is really 243 or Two-Forty-Dream.
4:48 – Jah hears a weird sound happening in the rear of the studio. Seth says there’s all kinds of sounds that occur in this “haunted mansion” he lives in.
7:00 – It’s not Autumn until Seth’s mother presses leaves from a New England autumn in wax paper and sends them to Seth.
11:15 – Jah wonders if Seth ever heard the term “quista quivers” being a reference to girls’ boobs. He thought it was an East Coast phenomenon, but Seth is not familiar.
46:57 – Jah pokes fun at Seth’s Russian accent, which sounds more Jamaican than anything. Jah then corrects it with his impeccable Rusky accent.
55:52 – Jah says Groupon is no joke. You can get stuff for like 50% off.
59:26 – If Tony needs anything, Seth is there: “Romo! It’s Roma. Sup? Anything. Holla.”
49:28 – A study presented at the Infectious Disease Society of America Annual Meeting discussed the scientist that was investigating an outbreak of illness among a colony of titi monkeys at the California National Primate Research Center in Davis, Calif. Of the 55 monkeys housed at the center, a never-before-detected strain of a highly contagious virus infected 23 of the monkeys, 19 of which died. The virus also appears to have “jumped” from the monkeys to infect the female scientist. The scientist was able to recover in about four weeks.
18:52 – Anita Kelly of St. Louis, Mo., has a question for Walter Scott’s Personality Parade in PARADE Magazine: “Is it true that Joey Lawrence wrote the theme for his ABC Family show, Melissa and Joey?” The answer: “Yes, a bunch of people submitted songs, but ‘Stuck With Me’ won,” says Joey Lawrence. “I did a full remix of it that’s going to be on my new record. I had a really successful album. I never did it again but music is what first inspired me before acting.”
6:25 – Seth predicts that it’s going to be a long, cold winter.
20:43 – Jah goes off on the Melissa and Joey theme song, which really isn’t a theme song