View Episode 245
Originally aired 11.11.2010
1:14:00
34:34 – UYD: Confirm this insanity virus
53:30 – UYD: Let’s harv’ some ’tish
3:49 – John Quiñones is back with What Would You Do? They set up a woman as a phony panhandler and smudged her face with makeup. She was sitting outside of a café in New York City with huge Ray-Bans and blue blockers and a cane. She was asking for change from passer-bys and made sure that the guy close by eating lunch saw the whole charade of her parking and doing herself up and asking for change. The guy watched her ask for money from eight different people and did nothing. Quiñones walked up and asked why he didn’t challenge her. The man replies, “Well, I did some acting in the past, and I know that sometimes you need to get into character to be able to act that way.”
13:49 – Seth says that if you want to know how Gwyneth Paltrow’s performance of “Country Strong” went at the CMAs, you need to look at the face of Miranda Lambert during the standing ovation, and that will sum it up.
14:33 – Seth watched a segment on CBS Sunday Morning on Loretta Webb, a coal miner’s daughter. When she was 13 years old she was at a pie social in Butcher Holler, Kentucky. She met a 22-year-old guy named Oliver Vanetta Lynn, nicknamed “Doo” or “Moonie,” because he made a living running moonshine. A month later they were married and Loretta Webb became Loretta Lynn, and by the time she was 18 they had four kids.
30:44 – Seth watched Black Girls Rock on BET, “celebrating the brilliance of black women.” There was a woman motivator named Iyanla Vanzant who took to the stage: “I share this award with women who were told they could not and should not and they said, ‘Ta Da!’ and did it anyway. Black girls rock because we have no other choice!”
31:54 – Seth learned that his friend from Parking Wars, Joyice (Episode 244, 20:45), is pronounced “Joyous.”
48:41 – Seth watched the 2010 MTV Europe Music Awards, which took place in Madrid, Spain. Bon Jovi was singing “It’s My Life” and there was a stadium full of people on each other’s shoulders going absolutely nuts and moving rhythmically.
29:24 – Mucinex is all Seth hears about. Jah says this is because it works so well, almost to the point that it’s dangerous. He channels Bill Maher in saying that mucus is there in our bodies for a reason. Jah recommends Ocean instead of Mucinex, because it’s a heavy saline solution that’s more natural than Mucinex.
What Seth Learned on the Monsterweb
50:26 – Jah tries to guess what huge artists or records that came out in 1986 would have led to believe the former version of himself that he would be on his couch 25 years later still hearing about this artist in pop culture. Seth says it’s Men at Work, while Jah chooses Terence Trent D’Arby. This prompts Seth to look up 1986 music and pontificate.
53:39 – Seth reveals his findings, many of which are followed by J-Dawg singing clips of their music: Miami Sound Machine, “The Way It Is” by Bruce Hornsby and The Range, “There’ll Be Sad Songs” by Billy Ocean, “West End Girls” by Pet Shop Boys, “True Colors” by Cyndi Lauper, “Two of Hearts” by Stacey Q, “Word Up!” by Cameo, “All I Need Is A Miracle” by Mike & the Mechanics, “We Don’t Have to Take Our Clothes Off” by Jermaine Stewart, “Who’s Johhny?” by El DeBarge, “Invisible Touch” by Genesis, “Manic Monday” by The Bangles, “Hip To Be Square” by Huey Lewis & The News, “Dancin’ On The Ceiling” by Lionel Richie, “Walk of Life” by Dire Straits, “Holding Back the Years” by Simply Red, “What You Need” by INXS, “What Have You Done For Me Lately?” by Janet Jackson, “Addicted to Love” by Robert Palmer, “Secret Lovers” by Atlantic Star, “Everybody Have Fun Tonight” by Wang Chung, “Human” by Human League, “Rock Me Amadeus” by Falco, Mister Mister, Prince & The Revolution, Whitney Houston, “That’s What Friends Are For” by Dionne and Friends, “Take Me Home Tonight” by Eddie Money, “Life In a Northern Town” by The Dream Academy, “Love Touch” by Rod Stewart, etc. Jah wonders why “In A Big Country” by Big Country isn’t on the list.
1:04:16 – Now Seth wants to explore the music landscape of 1987 since that was his senior year of high school. He looks up “Faith” by George Michael, “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” by Whitney Houston, “La Bamba” by Los Lobos, “Here I Go Again” by Whitesnake, “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now” by Starship, “I Think We’re Alone Now” by Tiffany, “Keep Your Hands To Yourself” by the Georgia Satellites, “Heart and Soul” by T’Pau, “Don’t Dream It’s Over” by Crowded House, “Lookin’ For A New Love” by Jodi Watley, “I Want Your Sex” by George Michael, “Head To Toe” by Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam, “Land Of Confusion” by Genesis, “Should’ve Known Better” by Richard Marx, “Touch Me (I Want Your Body)” by Samantha Fox, “I Heard A Rumor” by Bananarama, “Luka” by Suzanne Vega, “Rhythm Is Gonna Get You” by Gloria Estefan and The Miami Sound Machine, “When Smokey Sings” by ABC, “Something So Strong” by Crowded House, “Doin’ It All For My Baby” by Huey Lewis and The News, “Wipe Out” by The Fat Boys and The Beach Boys and “Respect Yourself” by Bruce “Bruno” Willis.
3:21 – Jah wants to know if it’s true that two people went to the Halloween Phish show dressed as Jonathan and Seth from Uhh Yeah Dude. He’s heard rumors that it’s true but has not seen photo documentation of it.
6:35 – The only clocks Seth has are his microwave and alarm clock. On Saturday he changed those two times for daylight savings and at one point was coming back from the bathroom and said, “Oh, shit!” It gave him a little boost making his coffee two hours later.
8:23 – Jah has fallen asleep at the wheel and had something happen once that was beyond frightening. One involved a passenger with him and the other he was alone. He was driving with his ex once and they were driving to Las Vegas. He decided to just head out at 1:30 a.m. and he got tired within an hour of driving and started talking about having heard master tapes of a Queen record and that you could solo each of the tracks and hear Freddie Mercury by himself. Then there was a conversation lull, and he basically slipped into complete unconsciousness. Then he randomly blurts out, “It’s crazy though, because Jimi Hendrix’s family is like, freaking out about it!” He then acknowledges another pause and realizes he’s slipped into “dream talk.” She did the math and then asked if he had just fallen asleep, then freaked out and made him check them into a Motel 6 in Bakersfield. The other time, he was driving home from Santa Barbara stone-cold sober but running on very little sleep at 3 a.m. He slipped into unconsciousness but slipped into a dream where he was driving on the same road and all of a sudden a hologramic crocodile slithers across the road, and he swerves to avoid it, and as that happens he wakes up and has gone into the other lane. He sees a 16-wheeler big rig and is barreling toward it. He promptly pulled over and started crying because he was horrified by it. Whenever Seth is going through this he just turns on some Carrie Underwood and lets Jesus take the wheel (Episode 010, 23:27).
28:45 – Jah will be going out on the road for a short spell on the West Coast and then Salt Lake City and Colorado for some Jogger shows. Jah says people can find those dates on facebook.com/joggermusic. They played in San Diego last night and there were some UYDheads rolling out. He’s looking forward to more coming out as they go on.
54:03 – Seth thinks the first time he ever made out to a girl was while listening to Pet Shop Boys’ “West End Girls” on a bean bag chair with Cara O’Brien.
58:09 – A dance crew contacted UYD about possibly being sponsored by UYD and wearing UYD stuff while they’re battling, but Jah couldn’t tell if it was legit or not. Seth says there needs to be no talking about it, they just need to lock it down.
1:01:29 – Jah once met Eddie Money in an elevator, and Eddie said, “I’m Eddie Money, the singah.” Then went Jah met Eddie Van Halen, he said, “I’m Eddie Van Halen—Van Halen.”
1:05:50 – Jah had friends who had Samantha Fox posters that were incredibly booby and he was never allowed to have them (Episode 020, 9:44).
5:42 – November is breeding season for deer and drivers are three times more likely to hit a deer during this part of the year. You have to practice extra caution during the dusk hours of 6-9 p.m.
16:06 – Seth wishes a happy birthday next Tuesday, Nov. 23 to Destiny Hope Cyrus, better known as Miley Cyrus, who turns 18.
18:12 – A new trend taking over maternity wards for brand-new moms is referred to as the “push and smile.” It’s because photographs of moms with their newborn babies get snapped by cell phones and digital cameras hours after the birth and are put up on social network sites, that more moms are bringing in someone to style them and do their hair and makeup for the photo ops. A female blogger wrote that these photos are “as crucial as your wedding day photos.” One mom commented, “It’s not about me, it’s 100% about the baby.”
20:59 – Nintendo’s trying to trademark the phrase “It’s on like Donkey Kong.” There’s an Ice Cube song called “Now I Gotta Wet’Cha” from his 1992 album The Predator, which starts with the line “It’s on like Donkey Kong!” The interlude to the song features Ice Cube saying to someone, “You won.” “Won what?” “The wet t-shirt contest, motha fucka!!” and then lights him up with a semi-automatic.
24:23 – Thanksgiving and Christmas are fast approaching and there are a lot of people in the kitchen. The Food Network has responded with their new app, In The Kitchen. Food and Wine magazine will be hosting food and wine chats on Twitter and FAcebook, and if you want to go old-timey, the Butterball Turkey Talkline is live at 1-800-BUTTERBALL.
39:29 – Mobile GPS technology for AT&T, T-Mobile and Verizon – which all have the same provider – analyzed the places that 17 million drivers most often tried to locate in the month of September. The top 5 searches for food were all fast-food restaurants. #1 was McDonald’s, two times more searched than #2 Subway. As far as shopping, the #1 search was Wal-Mart, three times more searched than #2 Target. Under caffeine, #1 Starbucks was five times more searched than #2 Dunkin’ Donuts.
42:08 – 24-year-old Earl Barranco is the main suspect in a murder in a Brooklyn diner last month. Witnesses identified him as the shooter of the man in the diner. They ID’d him as having a gold chain around his neck with an enormous diamond-encrusted moneybag at the end of it. He fled New York and they couldn’t find him until he went to the opening night of the Charlotte Bobcats basketball game at Time Warner Center Arena, where he appeared on the jumbotron. Somebody at the game looked up and noticed the necklace, called police, who arrived there, but he was not caught. North Carolina police and the FBI went to the very next home game and posted up and waited. He walks in to take his seats to watch the Orlando Magic play the Bobcats on a Saturday night, and is arrested and brought back to New York.
43:59 – Seth brings up an archived UYD News story from the summer of 2003, when Juan Catalan was accused of killing a 16-year-old girl who had testified against his brother in another case. He spent 5 ½ months in LA County Jail where he claimed his innocence, as did his family and friends. He claimed he was at the LA Dodgers baseball game that May night when the murder happened in the San Fernando Valley more than 20 miles north of the stadium. He went to the game with his 6-year-old daughter and presented the ticket stubs to the authorities, but they didn’t believe him. His attorney went to the Dodgers and tried looking at the Dodger Vision to review tapes and find him, but they couldn’t. Then he found out Larry David was filming an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm that very night at the stadium. They subpoenaed Time Warner / HBO and said they needed all the footage from that night that they didn’t use. There, stamped and time coded was a shot of him eating a hot dog with his daughter in the stands. Catalan sued the city and was awarded $320,000 three years later.
46:01 – Oklahoma voted 70% to 30% in favor of an amendment to the state’s constitution called the “Save Our State Amendment.” It states that “Oklahoma shall not consider Shariah Law.” Shariah Law is the sacred law of Islam, namely the strict following of the Quran and all of the divine revelations set forth by the prophet Mohammed.
51:03 – A new field in pediatric medicine is called oncofertility. It’s the process of freezing ovarian tissue of infant girls or testicular tissue of infant boys with the hope that the higher success/survival rate of children diagoned with cancer will allow them to grow up and start their own families. Because infertility remains a high-rate side-effect of the toxic treatments that the children suffering from cancer receive, the hope is that by preserving the tissues they’ll be allowed to live and it will allow them to conceive at some point later down the road.
56:37 – Disney’s California Adventure Show in Anaheim, Calif., unveiled a new show at the theme park called Disney Dance Crew. The new 13-minute show includes an appearance by Mix Master Mickey, who will be hip-hop dancing to mash-ups of urban street sounds and familiar Disney songs. Mickey wears his baseball cap backwards, wears gold bling around his neck and animatronically says phrases such as “Rock the street,” “Kick it!,” “In the house,” “Roll-lin!,” “Slam-min!,” “Bust-in!,” and “Drink Up, Gangsters! Yo-ho!”
1:00:10 – The FDA will adopt the custom of other countries in relation to the labeling of cigarette packs. Starting Sept. 22, 2011, all cigarette packages in advertising will be required to carry one of nine graphic warning labels in a pack. You can view all 36 of the drawings and photos on the FDA website. One features a dude blowing smoke out of his trach hole.
1:02:40 – There’s a man in Ohio named John Backderf who goes by the name “Derf.” He’s a cartoonist. He had jury duty in Cleveland, Ohio, and when asked whether he knew anyone who had committed a crime, he said, “I had a close friend in high school who killed 17 people.” It turns out that he and Jeffrey Dahmer were best friends throughout middle school and high school. Derf published a graphic novel called My Friend Dahmer.
25:35 – Jah recommends re-naming the podcast to “Talkin’ Turkey.”
26:50 – Jah thinks it would be cool if UYD had a hoteline where volunteers answered calls for all-purpose requests.
27:17 – Seth says there are new volumes up in Seth’s Corner. He acknowledges that there is some heavy shit featured in Volume 5 and some people were scared.
7:47 – AAA did a study and released the results examining driving while drowsy. 41% of drivers admitted they have fallen asleep at the wheel. 45% of drivers said that at one point in the last month they’ve driven while struggling to stay awake.
33:08 – A growing group of scientists are claiming that schizophrenia is not a psychological disease but is actually a virus that is intwined in every person’s DNA. It lies dormant, then just pops out.
2:55 – Seth is pissed that he has to listen to people talk about their awesome trips to Hawaii all the time.
6:12 – Jah is pissed off about the turning the clocks back time of year. He says it’s guaranteed depression.
36:16 – Seth rips on Harrison Ford for doing a lot of promos for his new film