View Episode 256
Originally aired 01.31.11
1:01:57
50:38 – UYD: The cra-cra episode
16:42 – Jah wants to talk about TV because he doesn’t get to do it too much, but now that he’s been housesitting he’s been open to the world. His new favorite show is You’re Cut Off on VH1. He doesn’t know quite what he’s responding to yet.
18:21 – Seth revisits his show Face Off with his friend Megan (Episode 255, 36:20). He was hoping to be able to report on crazy stuff she said each week, but they didn’t really feature her too much in the first episode. He then got a phone call saying there’s bonus footage on the website that didn’t make the show, which really shows off Megan’s talents. At one point she makes a crazy ostrich character and gets critiqued on it. Later, at the house, she complains that she didn’t understand what was going on: “So… he said, um, ‘ar var var…’” The other contestant: “He said avant garde.” Megan: “I thought he told me it was like something from Olive Garden. I don’t speak French!” The other contestant laughs in her face and tells her avant garde isn’t a bad thing. “Well it’s better than Olive Garden! … I love their breadsticks.”
21:38 – America’s Most Wanted is up to 1,140 captures. There was a BOLO (Be On the Lookout) for Henry Chavez, 29, 3 feet 11 inches tall, 85 pounds with a mole on his left cheek. He killed a man in Maryland and could be in Mexico. Police don’t know. John Walsh: “He’s a little person, but cops say he’s very dangerous. Call us if you know where he is.”
40:37 – Seth reflects on his jam, Extreme Couponing (Episode 252, 7:09). TLC has now picked it up for a 12-episode series, which will profile a new super couponer during a half-hour episode each week.
41:15 – Jah caught an episode of Teen Mom 2. He says those shows are crazy.
41:47 – Seth is still out of Jersey Shore, but finds out they’re going to Italy for the fourth season. It’s like they’re doing everything they can to make it impossible for Seth not to watch. They might as well go to Haverhill.
50:58 - John Quiñones asks What Would You Do? if there was a female waiter serving an overweight woman who orders a bacon cheeseburger and onion rings, and encourages her to order a salad instead. Every time the waitress leaves, every woman from every table says it’s unbelievable and she should be able to do what she wants while hugging her. Every guy at every table doesn’t say a word, even when the women try to engage them.
7:24 – Seth wants to know if he’s ever in his life going to be sponsored by Pepsi Max.
44:42 – Khloe Kardashian has a Twitter account. Some of her finest tweets: “No one can define who I am but me. I set my own rules. I create my destiny.” … “I hate being told what to do.” … “Look in the mirror, smile and say ‘I am too blessed to be stressed. I am too anointed to be disappointed.’” … “Winners make things happen. Losers let things happen.” … “Morning. I love Sundays.” … “How did I get so lucky? So blessed?” … “I love documenting my life. I am so proud of my sisters.” … “People keep asking me what cra-cra means. Duh, it means crazy. Girl, you so cra-cra!” … “Quick Trim is so fab.” … “Morning tweethearts!”
14:26 – Jonathan doesn’t even know if he’s going to watch the Super Bowl. He’s still bummed about his Chiefs not making it. He used to go to Disney Land every Super Bowl Sunday with his mom because he didn’t care about the game. It was super uncrowded because no one would go.
24:13 – The last time Seth stayed in a hotel was that one night in Brooklyn in October. He didn’t watch porn, but instead sat and reflected on his friendship with Jonathan. He didn’t sleep that night, he just looked out the window at the Empire State Building. He felt like Jay-Z.
25:01 – Jah’s parents are in NYC right now. His mom says it’s wicked cold and is asking Jah to send her stuff from their house that will help her warm up.
28:09 – Seth asks Jah how he lost his virginity. Jah says he was 12 years old and it was on the beach in Hawaii. Seth desperately asks someone in the UYD listening audience to paint that scene. Jah then admits it wasn’t to fruition and wants to know if it still counts. Seth says no, that he has to consummate it. Jah says the girl was older and not a virgin.
1:00:04 – Jah and Amir’s band, Jogger, has a new video out for their song “Nephicide.” Jah and Amir have a very brief kiss at the end of the video, and Amir has had gay couples e-mailing him and saying they love it. Reading through the comments, Jah’s favorite one was “At first I was like, ‘Fuck yeah!’ Then I was like, ‘Uggghhh, faggots.’”
2:32 – The February 2011 issue of the CDC’s Medical Journal says that sleeping with your pets is really hazardous to your health. At least 50% of people in the United States sleep with their cats and dogs, but even healthy pets can carry parasites, bacteria and other microorganisms.
9:14 – The “Superb Bowl” is being played Sunday, Feb. 6, Green Bay vs. Pittsburgh at Cowboys Stadium in Dallas. There will be no cheerleaders at the game because neither team has cheerleaders. Green Bay defensive back Charles Woodson commented in the locker room about President Obama not wanting to watch the Super Bowl unless Chicago was in it: “He don’t wanna see us? We’ll go see him! 1-2-3 WHITE HOUSE!!”
15:27 – Roughly 9 years after it was created, the Homeland Security Advisory System – the color-coded terrorism threat scale – will be eliminated no later than April. That means the U.S. will no longer describe our daily terrorist threats in terms of Green (low), Blue (guarded), Yellow (elevated), Orange (high) and Red (severe).
22:48 – In some catastrophic news, Marriott International – one of the nation’s leading hotel groups – is taking all XXX adult content off of their in-room menu in all of their new hotel rooms over the next few years.
30:39 – The president of USC sent an e-mail to all USC students this week: “I wish to warn you about a specific danger that has become increasingly prevalent in the city of Los Angeles: Raves. Occasionally they are held close to our campus, often at the Coliseum or Shrine, and they present serious risks to all who attend. Ecstacy is common at raves, and can produce paranoia, panic attacks and hallucinations. I strongly discourage your participation at rave events.”
33:18 – The 2011 Army Social Media Handbook is given out to members of the military and instructs soldiers on how to represent themselves and the Army while online. It says, “Don’t be afraid to have fun by posting interesting links or asking trivia questions.”
42:05 – The code of silence, or the omerta found in the mob, was destroyed last week, as an FBI mob sweep in New York and New Jersey used tips from turncoats and snitches to arrest more than 120 alleged Mafioso. In that group was included Tony Bagels, Meatball, Pooch, Jimmy Gooch, Lumpy, Fat Dennis, Baby Fat Larry, Junior Lollipops, Johnny Bandana and Vinny Car Wash.
53:39 – Travel & Leisure magazine rated the 10 rudest cities (Episode 088, 35:02) in the country: 10) Dallas/Fort Worth, 9) Orlando, 8) Las Vegas, 7) Baltimore, 6) Boston, 5) Washington D.C., 4) Miami, 3) Philadelphia, 2) New York, and 1) Los Angeles.
4:15 – A study in the journal Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research tested fans leaving ballparks and stadiums after professional baseball and football games. Researchers found that 40% of fans had consumed alcohol during the game. They found 8% leave the game legally drunk. People who tailgated before the game were 14 times more likely to be drunk after the game. People under 35 years old were 9 times more likely to be drunk.
25:25 – Seth reads from the February 2010 Playboy Advisor. T.C. from San Francisco, Calif., writes: “A number of girlfriends have asked me how I lost my virginity and I’ve never known what to say because it happened during a gangbang. I was drinking with five guys and a girl. We all knew our female friend turned into a horndog when she got drunk and one thing led to another. We had a rotation going for about two hours. We weren’t greedy but she was. Looking back I remember it being a lot of fun. There were no hard feelings or regrets from anyone involved. But what should I tell people?” The answer goes: “Why not tell the truth? You got drunk with a friend with a party. The sex was fun and you’re still friends. Having five guys share the experience is unusual, but not an essential detail in casual conversation.”
34:27 – Seth goes off on the Army for having a social media handbook.