View Episode 259
Originally aired 02.21.11
1:18:27
15:51 – UYD: OMC
40:54 – UYD: Smoke Viagra
40:56 – UYD: Eat. Love. Don’t get killed.
41:00 – UYD: Eat. Love. Four-wall it.
10:31 – Watson destroyed those humanoid fools on Jeopardy! Jah thinks the teens on the Teen Tournament should go up against an iPhone.
18:16 – Time magazine has an article called “The Truth About Sex Addicts,” featuring a creepy dude laying in a bed. He was on the Today show talking about how his compulsion would overtake his person: “I was involved with a girl and she was out of town. I cheated on her Friday night, on Saturday night, on Sunday. On the way to picking her up at the airport on Monday I stopped and had sex with a street prostitute. After I looked in my rear-view mirror, what I thought was red lipstick was actually blood from the prostitute’s mouth, so I stopped at a gas station bathroom, I cleaned it off, I picked up my girl and we had sex, unprotected, as soon as we got home, in the same bed that I had sex in all weekend with these three other women.”
24:51 – Seth was watching the Adult Entertainment Expo 2011 on the G4 Network. They had a company called Sweet Sinner, which is referred to as “girlfriend porn” that you can watch with your partner. The slogan: “Real stories, real sex, real positions, real intimacy.”
26:44 – They did a new Cathouse where they introduced the new girls. Seth’s boner inverted into his own body because of how gross it was.
34:54 – Good Morning America was in Times Square this morning with Sam Champion. A girl was holding up a sign that says KISS ME SAM surrounded by stars and hearts with a hole cut out of it so she could stick her face through it and try to kiss the gay weatherman. Sam puts his cheek out and she kisses him on the cheek.
47:53 – Seth follows up on the 3-foot, 1-inch criminal, Henry Chavez, from America’s Most Wanted (Episode 256, 21:38). He was in El Salvador and they brought him back to the U.S. A U.S. Marshal met him at the airport and said the little guy just looked at him and said, “Hey, just good to be back.”
21:47 – Charlie Sheen: “I was sober for five years a long time ago and just bored out of my tree.”
Games That Jonathan and Seth Play
1:09:19 – Jah wants to try and say the alleged most difficult tongue twister in the world: “The sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick.” Seth says he’s going to rattle it off five times in a row, then chickens out. Seth is able to pronounce it more easily than J-dawg, however.
15:12 – They’ve made a new oxycontin that’s basically uncrushable. You can still eat them but you can’t shoot them into a vein.
58:22 – According to the New York Division of Criminal Justice, more than 50,000 people were arrested last year in New York City for possession of marijuana. The Drug Policy Alliance says New York City is the “marijuana arrest capital of the world.”
2:40 – Seth did not go under anesthesia for his knee surgery. He’s set a new precedent for operations that he’s calling the “Telli Rule,” where you only go under if it involves an organ. Seth also turned down the recommended dose of Vicodin. Seth got home from surgery, laid down on his sofa, set his laptop computer on his chest, and watched the eight lost Joey episodes sent to him by a friend/listener. Seth watched repeats that aired on TV2 in Norway – the country’s largest television station. He watched the episodes in English with Norweigan subtitles.
13:52 – Seth has a recurring nightmare in which he wakes up and sneezes in the middle of the night. There are a few seconds of silence, then he hears a man’s voice say, “God bless you” in the middle of his dark bedroom.
21:05 – The last time Seth saw a street prostitute was on the track on Sepulveda when he used to work in the Valley. When he first moved to L.A., Western was a track. Jah says Sunset was a track when he was working on it. Jah recalls the hookers used to dip into the music store and act like they were shopping whenever cops would roll by.
29:16 – Jonathan has met Heidi Fleiss. They met on an elevator in Hollywood at a building Jah used to have a recording studio in. Jah’s father was there as well. Heidi’s father was J-dawg’s pediatrician (Seth wants to know that Heidi Fleiss’ father has touched Jah’s penis. Jah confirms). He was a great doctor whom Jah’s brother went to as well. J-dawg’s dad told Heidi, “Your father was my son’s pediatrician growing up.” Heidi looked at Jah and said, “That’s why he’s such a healthy young man,” then smiled and got into the elevator.
44:39 – Jah doesn’t have many recurring dreams that he remembers. He had quite a few when he was a kid. He knows a lot of people who have recurring nightmares. When Seth was a kid, he had a weird dream. There were 13 steps that went from his top floor to the second floor. He would wake up and his mother would be standing at the sink doing dishes and he would get up, walk past their bedroom, look in and see something coming at him. He would jump all 13 steps, land, run into the kitchen, and when he looked back he could see the figure walking down the stairs. He would go to his mother and tug on her and she didn’t notice and kept doing the dishes until Seth looked back and saw the figure turning the corner and entering the kitchen.
46:12 – Seth thought of something funny during the surgery and thought he should say it, but thought better of it. When they wheeled him in, Tupac’s “I Get Around” was playing and he was wondering if that was going to be happening. They asked him if they should change it and he said no. Seth meant to say a great funny thing because he thought the surgery was going to be recorded so he had them say “Uhh Yeah Dude for life” and other things like “Mr. Steal Your Girl getting a knee surgery.”
50:43 – Jah remembers he owned the first Korn record when it came out.
1:01:10 – Jah’s mom had medical records sold to the National Enquirer when she was in the hospital giving birth to Jah’s brother, Ben. Reports directly from the hospital were saying that she had breast cancer.
9:34 – When Bill Clinton entered office, there were 50 website available on the internet.
16:01 – The TSA has installed more than 500 scanners in 78 airports in an effort to find concealed weapons and/or contraband. Two senators are currently proposing a bill that would make it a crime to disseminate any of the images from the machine. Their goal is to keep all of the body scan images from leaking and ending up on the internet.
31:53 – Connecticut, Indiana and Georgia are the only 3 states in the U.S. that have an across-the-board ban on Sunday sales of any beer, wine or liquor in their stores or supermarkets.
42:37 – The California Supreme Court ruled that it is illegal for retailers to ask customers for their zip codes during credit card transactions. More than a dozen class action lawsuits have been filed against major chains for this.
49:01 – The 5th annual Rock on the Range Festival will be held May 21-22 at the Columbus Crew stadium in Columbus, Ohio. It’s sponsored by Monster Energy Drink and Jägermeister. On the lineup is Korn, Avenged Sevenfold, Escape the Fate, Staind, Hinder, Rev Theory, POD, Stone Sour, Disturbed, Saving Abel and The Hollywood Undead. There’s also one of these shows slated for Winnipeg, which is fitting considering the number of Canadian bands that will show up.
59:21 – The FDA has approved a new mammogram technology for women. It will allow for the creation of the image in 3D.
1:12:41 – Seth says that when Barack Obama took office, there were only 500 million websites.
2:15 – Seth wonders how he looks. He wonders if Jah would’ve known that Seth had surgery if Seth had never told him. Jah says he might’ve suspected that Seth had sustained some type of an injury because he’s favoring his leg still and it’s padded out more than the other leg.
52:05 – Seth goes off on all the shitty music he’s forced to hear. He rims the Grammys for featuring Pearl Jam as one of its category finalists.
54:55 – Seth is pissed at Justin Bieber for his stupid interview in Rolling Stone in which he talks about rape happening for a reason, Canada being the greatest, etc.
58:50 – Seth goes off on New York City for being freezing cold and arresting people for smoking weed.
1:01:29 – People didn’t always say “hello” when they answered the telephone. When the first regular phone service was established in 1878, people would say “ahoy.”
1:01:46 – Arachibutyrophobia is the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth. Jah has a fear of the peanut butter choke (Episode 107, 33:43).
1:02:34 – The term “groaking” is to watch people eating and hope that they will offer you some.