View Episode 264
Originally aired 03.28.11
1:06:28
50:06 – Seth watched 60 Minutes with the Archbishop of New York, Tim Dolan. He’s the worst dude ever.
47:45 – Denny’s “Baconalia”
28:59 – Jah says that cigarettes are a gateway drug because you know early on that it’s detrimental and what you get from it isn’t enough to warrant that it’s detrimental. That mindset is abusive, he says. Seth feels this way about Uncle Eddie’s vegan oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. Jah doesn’t know any drug addicts who are non-smokers.
What Seth Learned on the Monsterweb
57:09 – Seth looks up the synopsis for Terminal Velocity mid-show and finds that it’s a 1994 movie starring Charlie Sheen. Seth also looks up the synopses for Timecop and Freejack.
17:39 – Jonathan never met Tommy Hilfiger, but he met his brother who was running a lot of the business at that time. He met him in New York City with his dad when they were brought to the factory headquarters. Jah thinks his dad was in town doing SNL. They both got some gear. Jah doesn’t remember how exactly it transpired, but he wound up later on in life when he was stretching out his earlobes and he went to the Beverly Hills Tommy Hilfiger store about 15 years ago. He reintroduced himself to Tommy’s brother, who saw Jah’s plugs and asked him what was going on. There were some cute girls on the floor, and he called them over to stand in a semicircle and look at J-dawg’s ears. One of them was like “Eww!” and another asked him, “Why did you do that?!” Jonathan was uncomfortable.
23:05 – Seth has a Universal Studios annual pass from when he saw King Kong, which is coming up on its one-year anniversary (Episode 229, 40:48). He can’t believe he got duped.
27:51 – Seth wants to know how the cigarette companies wooed him. Jah says his first cigarette was a Camel unfiltered cigarette, thanks to his old man.
33:39 – Jah remembers talking to his friend Nate, whose dad is from Michigan and his dad was a working class auto worker – just like everyone else in his town. He lives out here in LA now and manages a store, and the amount of money it cost him to deal with his wife’s sickness before she died, plus her funeral, cleaned him out and forced him to work until his body is breaking down to die.
41:13 – In 2004, Jonathan performed “Sweet Child Of Mine” at a packed karaoke bar in Burbank, Calif., called Dimples, and the place exploded. Seth witnessed it firsthand as Jah pulled some snake-like serpentine Axl Rose moves. J-dawg then admits he performed the same song at Drew Barrymore and Tom Green’s wedding in Malibu. Jonathan came on stage right after Jared Leto and Courtney Love performed a song together that was a complete train wreck. Seth tries to figure out which other celebrities were in attendance. Jonathan remembers Courtney Love heckling Tom Green during his awkward speech.
50:40 – Jah drank an Irish Car Bomb on St. Patty’s Day. He only drank one.
3:30 – Friday is April Fool’s Day. Seth says be ready to not get duped.
4:34 – A man in Dallas/Fort Worth received the nation’s first full facial transplant. There have been a couple partial facial transplants but never an entire one like this. His face was melted by a power line that he was working on. They were not able to restore his sight, but they think it will be a vast improvement over what was previously there – skin grafts.
8:16 – Aramark food services will be outfitting many U.S. ballparks with the bottom’s-up beer dispensers. It fills the beer from the bottom. A 4-cup station can pour as many as 44 beers per minute. An Aramark spokesman said “It’s another reason for fans to get excited.”
13:45 – 7-11 opened their 40,000th store this week in 16 countries. The CEO of 7-11 said, “We’re opening up a new store every 3 hours.” McDonald’s had 32,737 restaurants worldwide at the end of 2010, and Subway had 33,749.
15:35 – Tommy Hilfiger was asked by ESPN The Magazine to redesign the Dallas Cowboys’ new uniform. He did a terrible job.
24:04 – Jah appropriately reads this as he lights a gross cigarette. 10 cities that have smoking problems, according to The Daily Beast: 10) Las Vegas, Nev.; 9) Grand Rapids, Mich.; 8) Birmingham, Ala.; 7) Oklahoma City, Okla.; 6) St. Louis; 5) Louisville, Ky.; 4) Indianapolis, Ind.; 3) Memphis, Tenn.; 2) Wilkes-Barre/Scranton, Pa.; and 1) Tulsa, Okla. In Tulsa, nearly one-quarter of the city’s population are smokers, and they go through 16 cigarettes a day on average.
38:19 – There’s a musical called Rock of Ages, which is about Hollywood in the 80s. It has the music of Styx, Journey, Bon Jovi, Twisted Sister, Poison and Asia. It debuted in LA in 2006. There’s a character named Stacey Jaxx, a callous arrogant rock star who doesn’t care about his fans. The role was originated by Chris Hardwick in the original production, the host of Web Soup. He will be played by Tom Cruise in the movie.
44:14 – The University of Southern California’s chapter of Kappa Sigma is facing an investigation after a very offensive e-mail addressed to the members was made public. The letter was designed to be the first in a weekly series called “The Gullet Report,” which aimed to “strengthen brotherhood and help pinpoint sororstitutes more inclined to put out.”
52:30 – Some scholars say early versions of the Bible featured Asharah, a powerful fertility goddess who may have been God’s wife.
2:59 – Baby Emerson, an internet sensation, is in the studio with Jonathan and Seth right now.
28:32 – Seth’s phone rings in the background. He has a new phone and doesn’t know how to turn the ringer off anymore.
10:34 – According to a survey by Fidelity Investments, 4 out of 10 wealthy people in the world say that they do not feel rich – and would need to have at least $7.5 million to truly feel wealthy.
30:01 – In a recent survey by Shape and Men’s Fitness magazine, 43% of women said they had been dumped via a text message.
32:06 – A new study is showing that people are growing increasingly doubtful about their ability to finance comfortable retirements. The percentage of workers describing themselves as “not at all comfy” about their retirement went from 22% to 27%.
6:04 – Parade featured a poll, “Do you lie to your doctor about your lifestyle?” 75% of people said no and 25% said yes.