View Episode 279
Originally aired 07.11.11
1:12:04
31:45 – UYD: Reppin’ and comin’
1:02:55 – UYD: Harnessing the power of 14-year-old jizz
20:27 – Jah watched about 10 minutes of a show called The Marriage Ref. The only episode Jah saw with an Asian man and a blonde woman who owned ducks, and the female duck had been laying eggs. The problem they were having was the man started collecting the eggs and was trying to get the wife to eat them. The wife thought that was gross. The man thought it was a waste since the duck was sitting on them all day. She said he could eat them, and his response was, “There’s no way I can eat 21 eggs.”
1:06:00 – Jah saw Kid Rock on Piers Morgan Now. J-dawg likes Kid Rock but hates Piers Morgan and doesn’t understand how he’s there and so smugly acting like he’s been there 15 years.
52:39 – Kobayashi unofficially broke the hot-dog eating contest, downing 69 hot dogs from a rooftop in Manhattan to not only beat Joey Chestnut that day but set a new world record.
9:37 – On the 4th of July we celebrated our independence. Jonathan flew to Canada, while Seth celebrated the centennial of a man by attending the L. Ron Hubbard Life Exhibition Museum on Hollywood Boulevard. It’s a two-story museum dedicated to “Flash” Hubbard, as he was known. There was an e-meter display that showed off each model. It’s the only tool in the world that can accurately measure thought. Seth’s auditor handed him the newest e meter – the Super 7 Quantum. When Seth was told to imagine a time that was traumatic for him, after a couple seconds of him repeating, “Are you thinking of something?,” the meter started going. … The next day, coming out of Starbucks, Seth saw his auditor sitting in a car across the street staring at him.
50:10 – Nine years after the debut of Glow, Jennifer Lopez’s debut fragrance, J-Lo will be unveiling her 18th fragrance – Love & Light, which will hit stores in September. Seth then reads off all the different fragrances and asks J-dawg how many he’s purchased for ladies.
What Seth Learned on the Monsterweb
25:05 – Seth saw something on The Gothamist about a boy, his dad and his grandfather having lunch at a Taco Bell in Long Island. The boy complained that his soda smelled bad and was beginning to make him feel totally nauseous. The boy’s father then decided to take the foul soda to a police station. There, police officers smelled the soda and immediately became sick. The Taco Bell was then shut down by police and a haz-mat crew was called to check the place out. A camera crew from CBS 2 caught the unit sanitizing countertops and other items to ensure everything was safe. Locals expressed shock that the Taco Bell was closed. After several hours of cleaning, the Taco Bell reopened to an incredibly long line of people who had just been sitting there waiting for it to reopen.
5:30 – Jah walked out of a new age spiritual bookstore today with Dimitri in Santa Monica. As he left, the owner of the place was sitting outside holding court with a woman speaking about another woman he had had a relationship with. As they walked out, he said, “Thanks guys, thanks for coming in. May God protect you.” He said it very casually. Jah thinks maybe they should start doing that at the close of each UYD episode.
6:18 – Seth was at The Greek Theatre in Los Angeles last night for some tasty licks getting laid down by Steely Dan from a 1977 album recorded in Hollywood called Aja.
8:35 – Jah was out today shopping in the middle of summer just watching the people out there. It’s becoming difficult for him to tell which of the people are from LA and which aren’t, but now everyone is wearing Hollister and Reef, so it’s hard to tell.
14:37 – Jah has been flying a lot lately. Something happened to his dad in his late 40s or early 50s where he had been traveling his whole life and was suddenly overcome by a fear of dying on a plane. He couldn’t bring himself to fly. Jah fears he’s heading in the same direction, because it’s become harder and harder for him to fly as of late. There are a couple that feel smooth and awesome, but the majority of them feel violent and crazy.
48:53 – The History Museum in LA was doing a silent auction to name a new dinosaur species and Seth wanted to bid and name it after J-dawg to see dem bones.
49:07 – Some dude who was at Pride in Toronto last week who listens to the show talked about his friend turning his Grindr on in the middle of Pride Fest and they were inundated with dick pics and messages about pissing in somebody’s mouth.
19:25 – Adam Sandler’s new movie is called Jack and Jill. Jack and his sister Jill are both played by Adam Sandler. The movie plays into Seth’s love of movies with men in drag.
22:56 – A Michigan jail inmate says he’s being subjected to cruel and unusual punishment because he’s not allowed pornography. In a hand-written lawsuit, 21-year-old Kyle Richards claims his civil rights are being violated at Macomb County Jail. In the complaint, Richards claims that being denied access to pornographic material has subjected him to a "poor standard of living" and "sexual and sensory deprivation.” The Michigan Department of Corrections states that some prisons allow approved pornographic material. However, it is not allowed at the jail. Richards was originally booked into the Macomb County Jail on charges of bank robbery after officers followed a trail of money and footprints in the snow from the scene of the robbery straight to his apartment in January. He pleaded guilty to the charge, and is now scheduled to be sentenced on August 2nd.
28:32 – LA is home to AdultCon, an adult entertainment convention. It took over Erotica LA as the biggest adult entertainment show held at the LA Convention Center. AdultCon’s next show is set for July 29-31 and the LA Convention Center had a show in May called Everything To Do With Sex, and have also booked a show Aug. 26-28 called Exxxotica.
33:41 – July is National Unlucky Month for weddings
42:03 – DVRs, cable boxes and satellite TV boxes are apparently energy hogs. According to a report by the National Resource Defense Council, these devices eat up half as much power as a brand-new full-sized refrigerator and more than most modern televisions. Some modern European cable boxes and DVRs have better power-saving features like an actual standby mode but most American boxes are in the same boat. The nicer the box, the more the power consumption – HD boxes, etc.
44:56 – The Belly Button Biodiversity Project recently began taking DNA samples from people’s navels to find out what kind of bacteria is living within. Of the roughly 1,400 bacteria strains discovered thus far, at least 662 of them are completely unknown. Jah says he always thinks about the crabs living in our eyebrows.
54:35 – Meet the newest crop of farm vehicles: Porsche Carrera, Mercedes SL-550, BMW Z4. One wouldn’t expect to see such high-performance roadsters pulling tillers, hauling fertilizer or spraying pesticide between cornrows, but if you believe their owners, these expensive vehicles are working alongside the John Deeres and Caterpillars of the world. It turns out that some drivers of these cars are perpetrating insurance fraud, claiming them as farm equipment to harvest hefty discounts on insurance premiums. At least that’s the assessment of Quality Planning, a San Francisco company that verifies policyholder data for insurance companies. Auto insurers offer huge farm use discounts for people who use their vehicles exclusively on a farm where the chances of a collision or theft or something befalling the auto are much lower than other urban areas. Quality Planning looked at 80,000 vehicles for which a farm use insurance discount was claimed last year and used geocoding to determine whether the address where the cars were housed was an urban or rural area and whether anyone was actively engaged in farming. About 8%, or almost 7,000 vehicles, were housed in zip codes where less than 1% of the population engaged in any agriculture. Among the vehicles it found very easily was an Audi A4, classified as a farm vehicle in Brooklyn. A Cadillac Seville in LA was also listed as a farm vehicle. “Honest people end up subsidizing the insurance premiums of dishonest people,” says the general vice president of Quality Planning.
22:45 – Seth gives a shout-out to his sister city, Pittsburgh.
45:24 – Jah asks Seth if he has an inny or an outie. Seth replies, “Oh don’t be sick” (Episode 081, 28:47). There’s not a person in the world who would think Seth has an outie going on. Seth is repulsed by disgusting outies, like Katie Holmes’.
13:03 – The stories of survival reveal a heartening truth – while no one walks away from tragedy unscathed, neither do most survivors succumb in the aftermath to perilizing despair. George Bonano, a psychology professor at Columbia University, specializes in resilience during times of trauma. Fellow researchers will publish a review of literature on the topic this fall in a journal of The Association for Psychological Science. They found a low rate of extreme problems in people coping with disaster, including PTSD. “We concluded that the ceiling for harmful effects is about 30% of those exposed.” Most everyone else either recovers quickly or shows great resilience. Some people will be deeply psychologically wounded, but most people will not.
36:43 – According to the 2011 Trojan U.S. Sex Census – 3,000 10-minute online surveys taken – 63% of respondents still wish they were having sex more frequently. The most exciting place they said they’d ever had sex was in a car (48%), followed by sex in someone else’s bed (33%).
59:13 – UCLA researchers created a test in which they can determine a person’s age within 5 years by testing the age of your saliva. Using test subjects they knew nothing about. The test looks for a kind of DNA decay called methylation in just two sites on the genome. These two sites are among 88 sites on 80 genes for which methylation changes are particularly well linked to a person's age. Professor Eric Vilain and colleagues found the sites during an analysis of 34 pairs of male identical twins between 21 and 55 years of age. They then tested the saliva of 31 men and 29 women aged 18 to 70. The test was accurate within 5.2 years. The test explained only 73% of the variance in age. In other words, the test said some people were younger or older than their actual age.
2:54 – Los Angeles magazine has a column called “Ask Chris” for those who have a burning question about life in L.A. Question: “What happens to dead animals on the road?” Answer: “The Bureau of Sanitation has a specially-trained crew that not only picks up roadkill but will come to your house and pick up deceased household pets free of charge – no horses or cows. They are then taken to the West Coast Rendering Factory in Vernon, Calif. The County of Los Angeles pays $1 per animal and they are stored in silos until they are processed for fish food.”
35:06 – The LA Times Health section has a column called “Ask a Doctor.” Question: “My father had a second-degree burn over the entire top of his foot caused by spilling coffee. I applied soy sauce followed by soaking in ice water. By the next morning the pain was largely gone but the doctor who saw him predicted that it would turn black. When that had not happened two weeks later he asked what I had done to get such a result.” The Doctor says … “Soy sauce works very well for minor burns, but a severe burn deserves immediate medical attention. We are glad, though, that your father healed so well. Others tell us that cold yellow mustard can help a minor burn after liberal applications of cold water. Nevertheless we repeat, a serious burn like your husband’s calls for immediate medical attention.”
34:41 – Jah predicts it will be sweltering in Los Angeles in October.
1:06:13 – Jah goes off on Piers Morgan