View Extra Notes
0:30 – Jah refers to this as Episode 1/Episode 4
3:42 – Jah talks about Busta Rhymes’ bodyguard being shot by someone in G-Unit during a video shoot
7:13 – We first hear of Jah’s good friend Amir, who is apparently a huge Steelers fan
15:34 – We learn of Seth’s origin from north of Boston – a true Masshole
24:33 – Jonathan talks about his fear of dialing 911: “You get jitters calling it. You’re only supposed to do it, like, if your mom has a knife in her stomach.”
27:51 – We learn of Seth’s vehicle, a Plymouth Sundance
40:48 – We learn of Jah’s brother’s name, Ben
43:14 – Jah used to always order a 24-oz white chocolate dream blended with soy and an add shot with no whip and no fudge swirls at Starbucks
56:45 – We learn that Jah is a dog lover and has rescued dogs
0:01 – First UYD intro song
4:21 – Jonathan says Gonzaga’s Adam Morrison looks exactly like his brother Ben
32:52 – Jonathan rescues dogs
33:24 – The UYD intern, Jennifer, is revealed.
41:23 – Whenever Seth can’t fall asleep, he’ll put on Coolio’s “Gangsta’s Paradise”
42:25 – Jah was looking at buying an ’87 Buick Grand National
48:13 – Seth: “(Something New is) the movie where Sanaa Lathan, that girl from Love & Basketball…” Jah: “OK, she’s dope.”
57:14 – First outro of UYD emerges
0:01 – Distinctive sound quality difference from first two episodes
3:28 - #1 most stolen car in 2005: Honda Civic
17:18 – Googlewhacking: Putting two words into the Google search engine in an attempt to yield a single result
19:59 – Seth can’t fool Jonathan by making up the new Bravo show, “Bravo Company”
27:39 – We learn that Jonathan lives in Sherman Oaks
33:26 – Jah rehashes his drink that he orders at The Coffee Bean: a 24-oz. soy white chocolate blended with an add shot, no whip and no fudge swirls
1:00:05 – Jonathan is giving up this podcast and smelling for lent
1:10 – Seth wants to know who the girl is on the Live Links commercial
35:04 – Jah admits that he doesn’t always stand to pee
37:27 – Seth hopes the girl from Live Links is named Sarah
51:08 – Seth goes over backmasking
58:34 – Seth still begging for the name of the LiveLinks girl
1:01 – Jah pleads for some e-mails to uhhyeahdude@gmail.com. Says he’s only had one e-mailer so far
1:24 – There were no responses to Seth’s request for the LiveLinks girl, but it’s OK because Willem Dafoe said it’s his favorite podcast
30:31 – New trend called “netbanging” – gangs go on web, create sites, call each other out … East LA home to Clanton gang (www.clantone.net)
49:29 – Seth would rather be deaf than blind; Jonathan is the complete opposite. This sparks an argument between them. Jah could still make music if he’s blind. Jah would also rather lose the sense of smell than touch, but Seth says that is crazy.
58:31 – Who should they dedicate this show to?
0:15 – One of the longest gaps of silence (20 seconds) on UYD
2:53 – UYD is rising up the charts of Podcast Alley. They are just ahead of the podcast Youth Vibes but are still behind Treks & Sci-Fi
39:42 – zillow.com – put in any address/zip, get all history on property, etc.
1:01 – Jah says it’s pretty bleak out there as far as podcasts go. He’s finding a lot of informative things, but he hasn’t found anything that’s truly funny
1:37 – Seth announces that UYD just passed Yeast Radio in the Podcast Alley rankings; Jah made eye contact with that drag queen in the last podcast convention and told him/her that they were coming after him/her. Seth says they won’t get too cocky because they haven’t passed the Buffcast
27:25 – We learn that Seth shares a birthday with Asia Argento – September 20
59:44 – Seth starts his list of weird synonyms for the internet, calling it the “ether-face-net-web.”
5:35 – UYD has passed Anime Pulse on PodcastAlley to get to No. 142, but they’re still behind Crybaby Emo Kids.
11:38 – Fire departments encourage people to change batteries in smoke detectors when they change clocks b/c of convenient reminder – sound advice, just like the advice they received from their fan Dave
20:35 – Seth is the only person Jah knows who has a subscription to Playboy
22:01 – Buck Owens obit (former host of Hee Haw) – wasn’t feeling well and was going to leave Crystal Palace when a couple fans told him they came all the way from Oregon to see him. “If somebody’s gonna come all this way, I’m going to do the show and give it my best shot.” After performing whole show, he drove home and died in his sleep
37:00 – East Coast vs. West Coast terminology rehash: Water fountain vs. bubbler discussion, then into P.E. vs. gym class
39:48 – Bathtub that James Earl Ray stood in to shoot MLK Jr. has been sold on eBay for $7,600 to Golden Palace Casino
8:24 – Jah: You know how you can tell you’re in a bad neighborhood? The billboards stay up forever.
9:20 – Rims discussion: “Deuce-deuces” are 22-inch rims. “Deuce McAllisters” are 26-inch rims because his jersey number is 26
12:17 – UYD has fallen behind Coffee Geek podcast but has surpassed Catholic Rockers – the best in Catholic rock bands
30:06 – Seth still wants to know who’s in the LiveLinks spot
38:33 – Jah reveals his man crush on Paul Newman, talking about him beating Jay Leno: “He’s a RACER!”
54:25 – Jonathan insists he would still rather be blind than deaf b/c then he couldn’t hear Seth’s sweet voice every week
13:11 – UYD just passed the official Lost Podcast, but they are right behind Lostcasts.
19:14 – April 20 is National High Five Day
38:26 – Seth mentions a documentary that will appear on Lifetime called Searching for Angela Shelton, a woman who traveled the country meeting women who knew her name. It turned out that a lot of women with her namesake suffered emotionally and physically. Seth and Jonathan met her at the 2004 Air Guitar Championships (under the name “Cherry Vanilla”) at The Roxy on Sunset Boulevard. This footage is captured in the documentary Air Guitar Nation, which Jah and Seth appear in briefly
43:53 – Do some of these bands really need tribute bands? Barenaked Ladies (The Fully-Clothed Gents), Mike & The Mechanics (The Living Years), Evanescence (Pumpkin), Spinal Tap (Wood, Dark Queen, Spinal Pap), Live (Freaks), Bad Company (The Pack, The Merchants, Gin Blossoms (Allison Road), Godsmack (15 different tribute bands) – Godsmack started out as a tribute band to Alice In Chains
2:52 – Jonathan is wearing some crazy Crocs in Seth’s studio
10:48 – UYD has passed Karatecast on Podcast Alley, but is behind Metro Moment. Seth: “Do you mean homo moment? Croc moment?”
11:41 – Jah doing a segue: “I found a podcast….” Seth: “UYD? I did too. Or did it find me? Thank you Jesus.” Basically the podcast is a forum for teen boys to get sexual advice from a creepy British prick - TBSA.libsyn.com – stands for Teenage Boys Sexual Advice (14:52)
33:25 – During Walter Clyde “Puggy” Pearson obit, Jah interrupts: “What does that mean? The master of aces and kings?”
53:07 – Seth reveals Jah’s wife’s name - Justine
1:01:44 – Jah features the fruity weird guy from the TBSA.libsyn.com (Teenage Boys Sexual Advice) talking for the outro.
16:33 – UYD has fallen behind The Star Wars Chronicles podcast but just took over Manic Mommies
24:26 – Jah interjects that Adam Curry coined the term “podcast”
52:37 – Famous last meals before death penalty. Jonathan declares he does not like this segment, and says the image of Timothy McVeigh eating two pints of mint chocolate chip ice cream could, on the wrong day, actually make Jonathan cry
2:11 – Jah apologizes for last week’s technical difficulties
4:39 – Jah tries and fails at doing a really bad Paul Reiser impersonation
59:42 – Seth still wants to know who the LiveLinks chick is
2:00 – Being a boarding school guy, care packages are clutch for Jonathan
5:45 – Jah: “What’s going on with cocaine? Coke is everywhere!”
1:00:48 – Apparently UYD is helping people carve it out at the gym – America’s #1 gym talk show
2:26 – Seth and Jonathan are eating Doritos Kryptonite and their strength has diminished tremendously in the last half-hour
34:13 – Seth doesn’t like it when people put the incorrect emphasis on the wrong syllable, which Jah admits to doing.
30:18 – Jonathan’s Rick Ross ringtone
33:19 – Seth and Jah have a window set up outside the studio so all the kids in the neighborhood can line up outside
33:27 – A sign of things to come in Episode 100 – Jah: “We don’t vidcast…” Seth: “Yet!”
43:45 – Seth’s grandmother lives in Seminole, Fla., but returns to Massachusetts for the summer. The shows during the summer are a little looser and more funny because Seth is more relaxed with her being away from Florida
51:48 – Huell Howser sent Seth a postcard saying he wanted to name a veggie hot dog at Pink’s after UYD
55:47 – Jah loves his son Jimmy
0:33 – QB for Tennessee – Jim Bob Cooter
27:10 – Seth elaborates on wanting to make out with Brangelina’s baby (“I would drench it in Pedialyte and mack on that baby for like an hour in the balcony at a mommy and me screening. Mommy and me? Mommy and YOU!”)
14:53 – Episode 019 is brought to you by Deet
16:17 – Seth flashes his Brady Bunch knowledge by citing Episode #53, “The Wheeler-Dealer,” and the original air date, Oct. 8, 1971. Jah confirms that Seth is consulting no text to state this fact
34:28 – Jah’s phone has rang 5 times since the show has started
55:25 – Seth ponders: “What’s more impossible? To never have been into a Starbucks or to never have seen Titanic?” Jah: “Categorically, Starbucks.”
1:00:28 – Jonathan announces the implementation of a voicemail for listeners
1:00:40 – Seth spells it out for the first time: H-O-L-L-Y-W-U-Y-D
0:01 – Robotic voice announces the voicemail number – 888-842-2357
9:14 – Jah: “How about a podcast that has no internet access?”
12:19 – Seth introduces us to fluffernutters – marshmallow fluff is egg whites, corn syrup, sugar and vanilla flavoring, put it on Wonder Bread, put peanut butter on other side and you’ve got a fluffernutter
20:15 and 25:12 – Seth ponders: Is it inappropriate to whistle at an attractive woman? Seth prefers whistle, J-dog prefers “SsssMOKIN!” (21:59)
31:55 – Jah gets super violent: “Hit her. Hit her. Hit her. HIT HER!”
43:26 – Seth: “That’s the circle of life. Hakuna Matata? Is that the circle of life?”
46:40 – We learn Jah’s full name: Jonathan Preston Larroquette
5:54 – It’s America’s weekend. Seth: “…we taught that empire a lesson on who’s the boss.” Jonathan: “When we Tony Danza’d the Brits.”
15:13 – Seth’s Plymouth Sundance is a 1993 model
19:22; 42:07 – Seth blows it for J-dog by revealing that he is married
25:52 – More pizzas delivered to homes than any other night in U.S. history – OJ Simpson Bronco chase
46:33 – Seth gives Jah the opportunity to plug his and Amir’s band, Jogger, but Jah refuses to do it
59:23 – Who do you want to call before we disembowel you? “8-8-8 … 8-4-2 … 2-3-5-seeeeeveNN!”
16:37 – Jah eats his first-ever fluffernutter sandwich before the show. Jah enjoyed his first one, then loved his second one with extra fluff
0:00 – Contrary to what will be said on the show in Episode 023, there will be an episode the following week
15:34 – Random song starts playing in the background
29:29 – Jah’s sister is getting married to Sean
29:44 – Jah is sweating so much because it’s burning up in Seth’s apartment
31:37 – Jah is part of a didgeridoo circle. “One of things we like to say is there’s didgeridoos, and there’s didgeridont’s. And I like to consider myself a didgeridoo.”
52:03 – Hip hop community not dancing anymore, so it will eventually get to the point where it’s just “Curl Your Lips! … Digest! … Just blink!”
20:49 – Lean recipe (promethazine w/ codeine, original Sprite, jolly rancher candy)
30:27 – Seth: “Think about it. Nicole Richey is on the Simple Life and she runs that convenience store on The Simpsons. It’s amazing how they have the time!”
37:30 – Jah incorrectly states that Tempe is the capital of Arizona. It is Phoenix.
39:12 – One lucky UYD listener will be entered in a sweepstakes to win $10. Jah changes the payment to $25 at 41:52
44:14 – Seth names the 5 things every person needs that, if they have, they can go anywhere in the world: Core Control Temperature Cooler, defibulator, chapstick, a pack of gum and a tampon
0:50 – George, a newlywed from Queens NY wins the 25th anniversary special
3:17 – Introduction to zabasearch.com
25:38 – Prime phone swallowing material (PSM) This is what’s Jah’s gonna say when he sees a hot lady walking down the street: “She’s a PSM”
36:00 – Prison pruno recipe (take 10 peeled oranges and 1 8-oz bowl of fruit cocktail, squeeze fruit into small plastic bag, put juice with mash. Add 16 ounces of water, place bag in sink, heat for 15 mins with hot water, keep towels around bag for fermentation, stash bag in cell for 48 hours. Take bag out, add 40-60 cubes of white sugar, add 6 tsp. of ketchup, seal bag, put back in sink, heat in running water for 30 mins. Wrap it up, put it away for 72 hours. Reheat for 15 mins every day for three days. Skim off mash at top of bag, pour remaining portion into 2 18-oz cups, drink very quickly)
59:51 – Jonathan announces the implementation of the UYD website – predicts it will be up within 24-48 hours of when the listener is hearing this show
3:55 – www.uhhyeahdude.com is now up and running. Jah: “Your center, your HQ for everything UYD.”
33:21 – Seth begs for phone calls: “Somebody call. Call. Call. Call. Call. Just call.”
13:04 – Jonathan talks about Costco’s lifetime full return policy – Amir bought a $350 tube TV three years ago, walked in this week and they gave him $350 cash
33:59 – Seth talks about his 7-year-old daughter, Vanessa
42:54 – Ten years ago there were 2 million pay phones; now there are 1 million
0:24 – They have finally found and arrested Haley Joel Osment’s killer
20:48 – We hear a police siren in the background of the UYD studio
42:12 – J & S improvise a jingle for Pepsi Jazz that will later be jacked by Pepsi
52:40 – SORIS – scans irises of sex offenders
56:25 – Jonathan on a hunger strike and loses 38 pounds
54:12 – We learn the identity of Seth’s mother, Marsha
19:37 – Jah tells UYD callers that if you’ve covered your bases on the UYD voicemail, don’t call back and wrap up your previous ramblings
4:56 – Biggest party schools in the country (1. Texas, also UCSB, Wisconsin, Ohio State, Evergreen, UMass) High Times biggest weed schools (1. Maryland, also Colorado, Rhode Island, Florida State, Evergreen)
18:43 – Jah lights up on air for the first time (lighter audible at 19:06). He claims that he does not plan to make a habit of this whilst recording. Seth thinks he should continue to do it
41:08 – Seth ponders, what is the dipping sauce for balls?
0:21 – This week’s show brought to you by Playboy: Entertainment for Men
9:06 – Seth uses the same make and model microphone as Bob Barker – bought at an estate sale of the late Rod Roddy
2:03 – Jah requests Abraham Benrubi to play him in the UYD ABC Movie of the Week; Seth want Corin Nemec to play him; Sandra Bullock will play Jennifer the UYD intern
38:44 – Seth has never eaten a fruitcake and Jah hasn’t met anyone who likes them
1:01:05 – Seth: “I get a large coffee with two shots of espresso, it costs $2.90. How much do you think said coffee was in October of ’95.” Jah: “$1.25.” Seth: “FUCK YOU!”
9:11 – We learn that Seth has a degree in Communications from a good school (Emerson) and graduated before the internet
0:01 – Hilarious intro mocking other podcast intros
33:12 – Jah’s handwriting is the equivalent of a failed graffiti artist and a 9-year-old
1:01:14 – Jah feels like Seth had so much flavor this episode but Jah didn’t bring any of his A game
0:43 – Jonathan’s voice is all jacked up: “I’m very under the weather so I apologize for the snot in my timber.”
1:14 and 4:15 – Seth announces there will be no episode the following week because he is going in for testing on his DPR
9:18 – Seth gives us Seinfeld’s routine from the Comedy Central Night of Too Many Stars Autism Benefit
29:06 – Seth apologizes to all gay UYD listeners for using offensive terminology like “fruit,” “faggot,” etc.
41:43 – Jonathan declares that “loud pipes save lives”
51:46 – Massachusetts city bans playing tag – Jonathan thought he was talking about TAG body spray
15:26 – Seth reveals that he does not know what a SIM card is
6:41 – Jah watches a movie called The Cookout and walks away from it feeling fairly confused, utterly unentertained and really curious about how movies like this continue to get made
16:24 – Jonathan and Seth’s favorite day is Black Friday. On this day in 2005 they decided to start UYD. On the way to buy ionizers at The Sharper Image, they were gridlocked in traffic they discussed how they could talk about our life, country and culture – UYD is what they came up with.
25:16 – Jah hears something and wonders if there’s someone else in the apartment
32:14 and 32:22 – Jonathan’s horrible Boston accent
38:34 – Seth and Jonathan play golf every Sunday, Jah also plays every Wednesday
39:35 – Seth had lice once and Jonathan twice as kids
0:01 – Jonathan, Seth and UYD Nation are first to wish Mr. Larroquette a happy birthday
6:55 – This is the unofficial 1-year anniversary for UYD, because Thanksgiving of 2005 was the period of time when they decided to do the show. Seth: “This is UYD at its zenith.”
21:23 – Jah says he used to be able to distinguish the different colors of M&Ms; in 5th and 6th grade. Says he will put it to the test on air at some point
51:24 – Seth first proposes adopting a small black boy as his great-grandson and naming him Jeff
13:38 – Seth places mistletoe above Jonathan in studio
30:58 – Seth requests someone to send him the song “Too Much Time On My Hands” by Styx
39:47 – Jah talks about the urban legend of Las Vegas pumping pure oxygen into casinos to make people stay super awake and hang out and gamble
42:22 – Jah and Seth introduce the new scent of UYD: vanilla, sandalwood and lyme. Seth: “That’s a delicious fragrance; what are you wearing? I’m wearing UYD. What are you listening to? I’m listening to UYD. What are you watching? I’m watching UYD. Why are you fighting? We’re fighting for UYD. But you’re in a parking lot at Pavilions. It’s 2 o’clock in the morning. Big whoop. It don’t matter to me. Fallujah, Vine Street, I don’t give a fuck. I fight for freedom … and UYD.”
43:24 – Seth and Jah compare East Coast vs. West Coast terminology: jimmies vs. sprinkles, bubblers vs. water fountains, pigpiles vs. dogpiles, gym vs. P.E., recess vs. nutrition, tonic vs. soda
19:57 – We learn Seth’s brother’s name, Max
37:42 – Seth announces his new name for the internet, the “monsterweb.”
45:23 – Jonathan says Christmas music sends him to the darkest place ever, while Seth says the Charlie Brown Christmas music freaks him out
51:36 – Jah is in the LA Weekly this week, with some of his poetry quoted in it
33:23 – Seth dips back in to his desire to want a great-grandson named Jeff
21:38 – Seth was a latchkey kid – came home from school, key would be left out for him, and he would be left alone to watch Inspector Gadget until his mom came home from work
28:53 – Jonathan Larroquette is Time magazine’s “Man of the Year”
36:16 – Just like Rocky Balboa rescued a dog, Jonathan Larroquette has rescued dogs
41:36 – Seth’s improv’ed “Minds, eyes hearts and cocks” jingle cracks Jah-man up
59:38 – Another Seth shout-out to Jeff, his black great-grandson
0:48 – Jah and Seth are sitting Indian-style on a nice Afghan rug in their Christmas cashmere turtlenecks, looking back and reflecting on the antics of 2006.
36:07 – Jah can’t think of Garth Brooks’ alter-ego until Seth reveals it, Chris Gaines, at the 37:35 mark
36:24 – Jah rocks a Bobby McFerrin ditty, “Blackbird”
44:45 – Seth and Jah try to figure out what kind of a website they could create in ’07 to have a streamlined niche market. Jah suggests fat people grocery shopping. They will name it “Chubbb Grubbb,” or www.chubbbgrubbb.com
47:55 – Jonathan buys Seth an Audix OM2 microphone for Christmas – it’s his second-best Christmas gift ever, next to his Haro BMX: "Hey, how’s your Haro, Seth? Well, it’s pretty awesome, world. Well harooo, Haro.”
0:01 – No intro song can be heard
0:13 – This show is brought to us by McDonald’s Cinnamon Melts
8:07 – Seth announces his affinity for the Dallas Cowboys
31:26 – Jonathan creams over the iPhone
36:01 – Jah ponders what the movie Fuck looks like on the 108-inch Sharp LCD
1:01:23 – First plug for donating to show
1:57 – UYD thanks the three listeners who donated to the show in the first full week of accepting donations to keep the show running ($10 = Community Builder; $25 = Hope Giver; $50 = Dream Catcher; $100 = Miracle Maker)
44:36 – Technical difficulties on UYD
53:59 – Seth wants to know the lyrics from Sammy Hagar’s “I Can’t Drive 55”
2:33 – Jah’s father told him not to put on headphones for the podcast because he’ll fall in love with his own voice
43:08 – Seth repeats the phrase Jah taught him in Episode 036 – “Loud pipes save lives.” Jah: “And clean needles.”
43:41 – Danny Finegood obit – as part of his environmental sculpture at his Cal State-Northridge class, he changed the Hollywood sign to read HOLLYWEED
0:33 – Jah busts out “Drift Away” by Dobie Gray, botches the lyrics and can’t figure out who sings it
18:43 – Jonathan and Seth watch unrated version of The Marine with John Cena – they declare it “awesome.”
39:28 – Jonathan’s dad was supposed to be on board the helicopter that crashed on the set of Twilight Zone: The Movie (killed 2 people), but his car got stolen and he couldn’t be there
26:15 – Jonathan lashes back at voicemail callers who are correcting him, telling him it’s “Give me the beat boys…” Jah says it’s “Give me the Beach Boys” by Desmond Tutu
0:17 – Ask, believe, receive: It’s The Secret.
26:16 – Seth: “That’s the circle of life. Hakuna matata. What does hakuna matata mean?” Jonathan: “The circle of life.”
0:21 – This episode is brought to us by Team UYD
9:50 – Seth explains the following foods: ants on a log, elephant ears, bear claws, egg cream, Hawaiian pizza, swiss roll, and London broil
17:42 – Seth gives up hate for lent. Every New Year’s and every lent he gives it up.
36:46 – Seth realizes that hakuna matata means “no worries.”
50:30 – Jahnathan qualifies as a “bear.” A panda bear is an Asian guy, a cub is a young bear, an otter is a thin bear, Tony Soprano is the king of all bears. Jah originally thought a bear was an LL Bean lumberjack.
55:53 – Seth still wants to know the “I Can’t Drive 55” lyrics
0:19 – Seth finally gets his wish, to hear lyrics from “I Can’t Drive 55” by Sammy Hagar
6:04 – Seth wonders if people still go dutch on the dating scene
10:19 – We learn that Jonathan needs a big King bed because his dogs sleep on the bed with him
0:31 – Jah and Seth are podcasting live from South by Southwest in Austin TX
22:45 – Seth wishes his mother a wonderful trip to Italy, where she will be listening to the show will fellow Romans
43:43 – Jah sleeps in the raw; Seth sleeps in a sweatshirt and a parka as his bottom
44:57 – Jah’s friends Alley Mills and Orson Beane have separate houses in Venice side-by-side, connected by a tunnel
58:44 – Seth has seen “Blood In Blood Out… Bound By Honor” three times in the theaters.
12:35 – Jah’s depth charge ringtone goes off
50:47 – Jonathan needs help with data recovery because in a fury he kicked one of his hard drives when it was plugged in and on, and he’s lost his entire music library with 80 gigabytes of tunes
0:11 – An early start time for UYD – 9:19 p.m.
2:04 – Seth reveals that he has an 8-year-old brother
38:49 – Nicotine Anonymous refers to abstinence from smoking as “smobriety.” Jah: I mean, I was in this parking lot and this woman, she cut me off she took my spot and I got so angry, but then I just said – you know what? I’m not going to let her fuck with my smobriety. … Instead of Hi I’m John, I’m a smoking addict, they’re like, You’re an asshole! (39:39)
40:37 – When Jonathan gets dressed around midday, he says to himself, “Do I look sexy, but not sexual?” Seth says the opposite: “Do I look sexual, but not sexy?”
0:12 – This is their hands-down favorite best week of voicemails ever, and Jah dedicates the show to April and new starts
10:15 – Seth ponders how Jonathan has such beautiful hands
11:47 – UYD hired a demographic group to figure out who listens to UYD. They sat down with a team and they said “We’ve found your demographic. You know who listens to UYD? People that are awesome.” And then they threw a three-ring binder at them and walked out
16:55 – Seth celebrates 5 years of sobriety
21:12 – Jah knows someone, Tim, who got Chlamydia of the eye – only 2 ways you can get it: 1) insect carrying it gives it to you; or 2) rubbing on some Chlamydia-infested snatch
37:45 – Jonathan tries to keep talking with three cigarettes in his mouth. Seth: “That’s awesome information, probably impossible for our listeners to hear, because you’re chewing tobacco on the right side of your mouth and you have a cigarette on the left.” Jah: “Every time I say Johnny Cash I want to smoke, I don’t know why.”
27:21 – Phone rings and Seth thinks it’s the scientologists coming for him. Seth: “Oh my god… well, 61 was a good run. Thank you.”
29:08 – Jonathan says homeless people are disgusting – comment comes back to haunt him in Episode 062
33:32 – Seth goes over Madden Curse
1:00:46 – Jah is wearing pink argyle socks
0:14 – Next week’s show will be done on Thursday and available on Friday
3:19 – Jonathan gets heat for the homeless comment: “Hey man – what’s your problem with homeless people? That’s not funny.”
10:23 – A lot of listeners chime in about knowing “Our God Is An Awesome God” and saying it was the jam
13:25 – Seth can’t stand Jonathan discarding index cards on the floor of the UYD studio and feels compelled to walk over, pick it up and put it in its proper place for archiving purposes. Seth says it’s because he’s not used to the show being recorded on Thursday night
14:10 – Jah talks about the new blood pressure machines being the grossest thing ever. “It just feels like an oddly compromised position to put yourself in in public view.” It’s the same people who lay in massage chairs and get their germs all over them. The only things Jah is down with are the public take-a-nap places you can rent in Japan
30:25 – The first song Jah learned on the guitar was “Heard It Through The Grapevine”
33:23 – Seth can’t believe that Famous Amos and Mrs. Fields fucked
44:46, 54:02 and 59:07 – Seth and Jonathan talk about Xtenz infomercial: “BIGGER!”
51:20 – Sting can do tantric face yoga to where his face cums for an hour straight. Seth: “Why is Sting’s face cumming for so long?”
0:01 – Audio quality is distinctively lessened
28:33 – Jonathan is convinced he’s never seen a black person with Down’s syndrome, then incorrectly states that 1 out of every 10 has it
58:34 – Seth is going to see Lucky You because his plan is to see how many Drew Barrymore rom-coms he can see this year and walk out of
3:19 – Jonathan was duped by Seth last week by the Grateful Dead song “Gentlemen Start Your Engines,” which Jonathan reads the lyrics of
5:55 – Jonathan clarifies his incorrect Down’s syndrome fact – incidence rate in African American and Caucasian children is 1 per 600-700 live births, rather than 1 in 10
33:59 – Commercials for KFC during the Kentucky Derby saying “we’re #1 in China!” going apeshit
53:30 – People on website say Seth looks and sounds like David Spade and Jonathan looks like a young Norm Peterson from Cheers. Jah will concede the Norm comparison but Seth isn’t down with being compared to the Spade-dog: Seth: “David Spade? So I look like a female marionette puppet with a fake wig? Thanks listeners. Appreciate it.”
14:19 – Seth thinks he and Jonathan should be cast on Cavemen playing bi-curious radio DJs who live next door to the cavemen
15:54 – Jah wants his dad to go on Conan and somehow work in a UYD plug
22:34 – Seth takes a swig of his Diet Coke Plus: “That’s vitamins and minerals.”
48:29 – Jonathan ponders, why do people laugh when babies cry?
50:49 – Most popular babies names: girl’s name at lowest level since 1950s? Katrina.
1:00:04 – UYD does an hour-long show. The first show they did that they never uploaded was 3 hours long; the second show was 22 minutes long. They decided to split the difference. Seven of their shows didn’t air.
1:01:01 – Jonathan gets feedback on new show upload time from listener Sonny, lying on the beach watching a fisherman and listening to UYD – loving the new UYD vibe
31:55 – Seth has no question that he has seen every single episode of The Dukes of Hazzard. We first learn of Seth’s notebook decked out with REO Speedwagon, AC/DC and a journal entry about the Dukes of Hazzard
43:54 – Seth goes back to his theory that whistling at women is appropriate, while Jonathan does “SSSMMMOKIN!” (first mentioned in Episode 020, 20:15)
47:01 – Brattleboro, VT – public nudity legal
59:37 – After a day of work, Jonathan would not let anyone go anywhere near his genitals without having a shower first
16:44 – Jonathan sees a bumper sticker that reads: Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.
5:07 – Jah’s current drink of choice at Starbucks? Iced venti quad soy latte
38:41 – Seth has been in LA for 12 years and is still waiting for an earthquake. He arrived in January of 1995, and the last big one was in January of 1994
42:25 – Seth moonwalks live on UYD. Jah loses it: “You can totally fucking moonwalk! Seth just moonwalked! I’m not kidding you guys, that was a solid moonwalk.” Seth says he will cripwalk next show
47:17 – The Netflix queue is tearing couples apart – going into the queue, logging on and changing the order
1:00:02 – Jah and Seth request all angel investors making over $250,000 a year to simply give it to UYD
1:02:34 – Seth makes one request to potential UYD voicemail callers: no beatboxing. “I had a beatboxing incident as a boy. I was almost killed by a beatboxer. I was raped and left for dead. So the sound of beatboxing takes me back to the rape.” Jah confirms: “I had to witness Seth listening to that beatboxing voicemail and the shuddering, sweating and tearing that occurred…”
0:37 – Jah: “Do you know what material can scratch a diamond?” Seth: “A fine piece of silk.” Jah: “Only a diamond can scratch or scuff another diamond.”
23:18 – Jonathan reads his book report on A Clockwork Orange, titled “You Can’t Blame the Youth.” An excerpt: “The book takes place at a time in the future when the world’s youth has gone mad. It’s much like the gang problem we are running into today. …”
35:48 – Seth and Jonathan both have plus-ones to Lindsey Lohan’s birthday party, and request listeners to submit all the reasons why they should take you to the party. Seth: “Type us a report.” Jah: “And by type a report we mean send us pictures of your tits.”
36:19 – Jonathan ponders: Do guys who take crazy hormones and grow boobs – are they susceptible to breast cancer?
42:11 – Seth’s cell phone rings in the studio
1:01:49 – Seth and Jonathan ponder having a celebrity guest on UYD
5:45 – We learn the name of Jah’s high school, Verde Valley School in Sedona, AZ
10:35 – Lindsey Lohan cancels her birthday party, throwing Jah and Seth off
26:00 – Jonathan holds both microphones and talks into them as Seth goes to bust open a Twinkie. Seth loves it, and says it reminds him of sitting in Havana, Cuba, eating a Twinkie off the tree: “They hate us for our OG Twinkies”
47:21 – Jah and Seth try to figure out the difference between fraternal and identical twins, except they keep saying “paternal” and “maternal” and confuse the hell out of themselves and UYD listeners
48:33 – Seth thinks Jonathan should be the resident UYD Doctor, after the way he tried to explain the types of twins and how he thinks 1 in 10 black people have Down’s Syndrome (Episode 063, 28:33)
51:54 – Jonathan asks if everyone has by this point figured out that the news items Jah reads are simply things Seth has written down for him in advance
9:12 – Jah gives a shout-out to a local listener, April
17:17 – Seth’s first reference to “High Net Worth” on CNBC
21:33 – Jah drops it on Seth: “Do you know you admitted to committing a felony on last week’s show? You opened Jay Leno’s mail.” Seth: “Fuck!”
49:38 – Jah reveals Apple’s official street address: 1 Infinite Loop
25:10 – Seth’s little diversion into singing “Baker Street” puzzles both of them as to who sings it. They later discover that it is Gerry Rafferty at 31:40 and speak/sing lyrics
29:12 – Jah gives a shout-out to Zach and Leanna in Chicago
29:34 and 30:47 – Jah’s depth charge ringtone
30:21 – Jah explains the Cold Stone forearms – they whip it together so hard that they all get jacked up. Jah only gets hand jobs from young girls who work there b/c they’re so strong
31:01 – Jah knows of 2 people who have iPhones with UYD on them and wants a picture of it
1:02:29 – Props to MadCowPirate.com’s positive review on May 5, 2007
0:43 – We don’t need another hero; we don’t need another way home; all we need is life beyond Thunderdome
1:44 – It seems that every state in the union is being represented on the UYD voicemail – Hawaii, Juneau, Alaska. Jah: “We’ve got hoes in different area codes.”
49:50 – Jah saw an article on Hanson in US Weekly and it gave him a full panic attack
1:01:39 – Jah: “If you want to go to the fucking website, you fuckers…” Both start laughing
23:53 – Seth would never go skydiving and would never go bungee jumping. A UYD listener went skydiving for her birthday and Jonathan thought that was awesome – the closest he’s ever come is riding Colossus at Magic Mountain. Seth hates roller coasters too.
50:32 – Jonathan fails miserably at his Macho Man Randy Savage impersonation
1:03:44 – Jonathan teases us by telling us we will have awesome UYD t-shirts
1:05:24 – Jah encourages listeners to go into Apple Stores and subscribe to UYD through iTunes at those stores
51:29 – What’s Tuesday, August 7, 2007? Jah’s 30th birthday
53:24 – J & S continue to refer to “hakuna matata” as “the circle of life.”
1:03:24 – Banging on wall of Seth’s apartment indicates that he’s being too loud (Seth: “I guess when your dog barks for the next 12 hours and I’ve not said anything over the last six months I just… that’s cool, but I guess if I’m talking about the world a little too loud, I’m sorry in the studio.”
1:04:12 – UYD listener in Chicago subscribed to 50% of the computers at the Apple Store in Chicago
33:34 – Jah’s iPhone comes to life
1:30 – Jah gives a shout-out to Cassie and Crow for the dope birthday gift they sent him. It’s a giant rubber ball with Chris Hansen from TCAP drawn on it with a Sharpie, and it was sent through the post office as is.
7:33 – Seth came up with his DJ name: DJ Talent. Jah, jealous of his friend’s DJ name, steals it for himself: DJ R23PO
9:55 – Jah gives a Forum update. One listener asks if Jah’s dad was in Chicago because he thinks he saw him, but Jah dispels this rumor. Another listener responds, saying they had their own celebrity sighting, spotting Seth Romatelli in Fish Without A Bicycle. Another listener says they found him in IMDB as being in Crossroads with Britney Spears: “Please tell me he hit that.” Seth’s only reply: “People are talking. Technology is running amuck.”
14:09 – Seth wonders if the static electricity discharge thing at gas pumps is true or BS. Jah thinks it’s bullshit.
15:17 – UYD listener Mike calls Jah a hippie-crite: “Vegan/smoker, environmentalist/car fanatic. When was the last time you replaced a car trip with a bicycle or just walked there? I can’t wait to hear your self-righteous hatred of AT&T when you get your paper-wasting 20-page bill for your iPhone. By the way I love the show. I found you about Episode 020 and I’ve listened to every one. Every time I ride my bike past Gold’s Gym I remember the story about some first grader that had cocaine and some other kids that had a grenade, because I was listening to the show when they were replacing the Gold’s Gym sign, and now the two are welded together forever in my brain.”
45:20 – Jah reveals that they lost half of a show tonight
56:17 – Seth’s cross-country trip where he recorded the high score on Gallaga on every arcade in the nation. Seth: “What three letters did I punch in?” Jah: “UYD.” Seth: “Actually I did RMA for Roma, but next time.”
0:25 – Jah wishes a happy birthday to UYD listener Joaquin, the drummer for the band Hello Stranger. He is currently in Pittsburgh after just playing there
3:04 – Jonathan gets some Doritos Collisions, which they both sample in the studio
15:11 – Jah: “This must be disgusting hearing me talking with full cock mouth like glug, glug…”
55:37 – Jah notices that as the show has become more popular, people get a little nervous when they call and leave voicemail messages.
58:50 – Jah gets trippy thinking about the fact that Lucas Black and Billy Bob Thornton starred together in Sling Blade along with country star Dwight Yoakum, while Black and Thornton also teamed up in Friday Night Lights along with country star Tim McGraw.
2:07 – Jonathan’s random diversion about the Koosh Ball leaves Seth mindfucked
2:26 – Depth charge ringtone goes off
8:58 – New fried foods at Texas State Fair (fried cookie dough, fried guacamole, deep-fried latte)
59:51 – Seth explains PodcastAlley to listeners like it’s a new revelation
1:02:27 – Seth’s computer is really old; he’ll go to websites and nothing will load
19:08 – University of Pittsburgh reports that 10% of fourth graders have already had their first alcoholic beverage
44:06 – Seth wonders if it’s cool to pour peanuts in your Sunkist like he saw an old college football coach do on TV
1:37 – UYD got a new twist this week on the voicemails – drunk dialing. The wasted dude told Jah he could beat Jonathan’s highly modified 2003 Volkswagen GTI with his 2002 Civic SI. Nobody wanted to step to Seth’s Plymouth Sundance, however
5:32 – UYD listener Zach wants to ask Leanna to Homecoming so he can get some brain
8:10 – Seth keeps working on the UYD theme song – he’s been working on it for 82 episodes
10:54 – Seth and Jah delve back into East Coast/West Coast terminology: pigpile/dogpile; recess/nutrition; bubbler/water fountain; gym/P.E.
0:50 – Jonathan and Seth didn’t hear any of the voicemails because Jonathan forgot to pay the phone bill again
13:06 – This show is being brought to you by Vivaxa – gives you both timing and control
48:30 – Jonathan wishes Seth a happy birthday even though it’s technically no longer his birthday
51:58 – Seth ponders, why does every place he sees say COLDEST BEER IN TOWN?
2:15 – Jah wants to blow the roof off UYD by handing out his personal phone number – 323-481-4422. One stipulation: In order to call him, you must get one friend to subscribe to the show
8:28 – If you call Jah, more than likely he’ll be on the driving range taking lessons from Roger Dunn
9:07 – Seth asks Jah if he’s ever heard of the reggae song “Sweat” by Inner Circle but Jah isn’t familiar with it. Jah stopped listening to Inner Circle when Jacob Miller died. Seth wants to know if the song is advocating rape or any kind of sexual deviancy or abuse
18:47 – Jah apologizes for the smoke detector going off in Episode 083. Seth says Jah went out at 3 a.m. and basically ripped the battery out of the detector
49:49 – Seth still receives Playboy magazine and reads the articles. If you paid Jah $1,000, he couldn’t even get an erection flipping through the magazine, much less successfully beat off. He says he would have better luck beating off to a Harpo magazine (really an O magazine).
53:10 – Jah wants to know if dudes use lube, spit palm or dry palm to jerky jerk
57:38 – The only cities UYD rocks it in are Sedona, Albuquerque, L.A. and Vegas
59:08 – Young man in Topeka, Kan., named Alex, goes to Topeka High and has nothing but good things to say about UYD and UYD nation. Seth says he sounds like he’s a straight-A student
1:00:00 – Jah asks listeners to tell him how to add pictures to the podcast so people aren’t blankly staring at text or nothing when they’re listening to the show
0:33 – Seth bought Radiohead’s new album, and paid two pence
2:52 – Jonathan says he got the best calls and texts as a result of giving out his personal cell phone number. He tried to call the dude back from Egypt but couldn’t get through. He also gives a “big-ups” to Jessica from Virginia who was feeling a little left out
11:14 – Seth asks Jonathan not to spin the microphone like a baton when he’s talking into it
17:35 – We learn that Seth has a Braille Playboy sitting in his studio – Vol. 25, April 1978 issue
27:26 – Jah: “I think this episode is an official disaster.” Seth predicts that when he listens to it tomorrow he will say, “Good work guys.”
27:54 – Jonathan has never eaten anything from a George Foreman Grill, and claims he is not the only one
29:19 – Seth claims that Jonathan said something to him on an episode that he’s never forgotten: “Seth, loud pipes save lives.” (regarding Harley-Davidson motorcycles, Episode 036, 41:43 and Episode 049, 43:08)
31:09 – Jah got a voicemail on his cell phone from Hutch that said “Yo dog, you dead dog. It’s on dog.”
32:16 – 30th anniversary of Atari 2600 is upon us – October of 1977 – the same year Jah had his first boner. Seth was a fan of Pitfall, but Jah had a ColecoVision
33:23 – Vegansexuals: Vegans who prefer to couple with other vegans instead of non-vegans whose bodies are composed of rotting animal flesh and corpses
16:20 – Seth ponders: “Without UYD, how would we collectively live and make sense of this? If we didn’t come together once a week for 60 minutes how the fuck are we going to make sense of this world we live in?”
23:57 – Seth observes that Letterman is becoming mean and Leno is becoming funny
34:17 – Seth tells Jah to give everybody Jogger’s site, but Jah refuses: “They’ll know soon enough. They’re too busy digesting the new Radiohead record. Trying to wrap their minds around that.”
37:54 – Jah claims that a funny highway joke is to drive by someone and pretend like they’re asleep and close one eye, and people freak out.
34:49 – Seth’s “Show me the meal!” comment causes Jah to erupt in laughter
51:39 – Seth reveals that he will be voting for Barack Obama
56:00 – Seth doesn’t like the new Radiohead record and said he got a gay vibe from it
12:25 – Jah declares that the Christmas Creep is on: decorations are up across the street from his dog store, and his friend Courtney has just seen his first Christmas commercial
13:45 – Jah revisits his hatred for holiday music originally mentioned in Episode 042
19:57 – GCILFs: Grandma Corpses I’d Like to Fuck
23:16 – Jah suddenly gets very dizzy and the whole room tilted at 45 degrees and tilted back. Seth has also felt terrible all day. Jah asks if there is a gas leak in the house and Seth says not to say that. Jah dismisses the notion because he thinks he would’ve smelled it by now. This is foreshadowing to Episode 144, 42:13, when Seth reveals there really was gas leaking from his stove that whole day
27:56 – Seth gives a shout-out to his cousin Eric for celebrating his 1-year anniversary with wife Erin. One of the only two weeks where UYD has skipped a podcast was when Seth was the best man in Eric’s wedding last October
33:29 – Bates College in Lewiston, Maine, offers a new course in the History Department called “Red Sox Nation”
37:46 – Seth’s seemingly harmless birth-related question sparks the first fight of UYD; Jah proposes to go adopt a baby (39:18), which Seth finds ridiculous; Jah says there’s too many babies (41:12) but Seth says that’s not the point, then sets Jahnny off by saying he treats kids like a litter of dogs (41:19); Seth argues that the most important thing is making the kid, Jah says raising the kid is the most important thing; Seth says it’s the most epic thing you could ever do (44:56), but Jah says mushrooms at a Jerry band show is the most epic thing; Jah gets pissed at Seth for saying he looks at a human being the same way he looks at a dog (45:53), says he wants to turn the podcast off and never turn it on again; then reiterates his pissedoffedness (48:49)
51:02 – Jah admits he hates God, then plugs Zeitgeistmovie.com
1:02:51 – Seth and Jonathan meet with UYD nationers agent79 and 55inch at the 101 Coffee Shop. Being the gentleman that he was, Jonathan picked up the bill
5:46 – UYD listener Laura called Jah and asked if Seth really saw Mystery, but Jah assured her he wasn’t making that up
12:31 – Seth wakes up by calling someone on the East Coast, telling them when he wants to get up and having them call him. Jah calls 976-WAKE
13:50 – The Setai Hotel in South Beach Florida is the country’s only six-star hotel
55:02 – Jah has to pee so bad he can’t think straight and asks Seth to take the reins
56:38 – Seth ponders – what was the original name of Pearl Jam?
1:38 – Jah says he will change the outgoing UYD voicemail message soon enough but he’s bad at doing it so he’s put it off
4:20 – Jah’s first reference to “Behind every cup of coffee, there’s a barista and a good story” posters he’s seen in several Starbucks. Examples: I have a customer who orders a triple tall nonfat extra hot cappuccino every day. We call it an Angela. … I think Abby’s been working on her novel for six years now. … There is this lovely couple who come in every morning and read the newspaper to each other. … And when she came in to meet him, he greeted her with a dozens roses and a mocha.
10:51 – Jah wants to start a campaign for reclaiming the rainbow from the homosexual community. In his life, he has been both a hippie and a raver – two things that years ago, rainbows were an integral part of. Jah: “I am telling all gays right now, respecognize. You get to pick two colors from your rainbow flag. I am completely willing to forfeit a color combination to you.” (Then Jah says, “…like the orange and blue of Florida State.” He meant Florida)
21:21 – Seth answers his question from last episode: the original name of Pearl Jam was Mookie Blaylock.
22:22 – Jah dedicates this show to Laura Darlington for her birthday – friend of the show, original UYD listener
48:37 – Jenkem is brought up again. Jah claims he didn’t realize what the “Winnie” nickname is all about (Winnie the Pooh) and wishes he would have picked up on it
58:33 – Jah pleads for money, but Seth says not to because they’re getting it from Marc Zuckerberg
59:41 – UYD idea started in Jonathan’s laundry room in Thanksgiving of 2005. Seth: “That’s when the deep-seeded plans started to take shape.”
1:01:43 – Young college student, UYD listener, has been going to everyone’s dorm room and subscribing to iTunes on their computers
0:31 – Jah and Seth discuss the screwed-up sound levels that many UYD listeners noticed during Episode 091
1:51 – Seth upgrades his computer to a G4 iBook, a gift from Jonathan
35:54 – Jah reads more from “DMT: The Spirit Molecule”
45:46 – Seth and Jah do their whistle/ssssMOKIN routine
46:16 – We learn of Jah’s pink/turquoise poncho that was made in Guatemala
49:23 – Seth claims that Jah gets grifted often. Jah says that 90% of him knows he’s being grifted, but 10% of him just wants to hear the story that they’re going to concoct – then he brings up the $2,000 he was taken for online (Episode 043)
0:07 – Jah refers to this as “Episode Number Fuck You”
1:23 – Jonathan texts “PICKUP” to 44544 in order to get awesome pickup lines like “Hey, how much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice. Give me your number.”
6:58 – More “Behind every cup of coffee, there’s a barista and a good story:” There’s a mom and the cutest 2-year-old who come in for chocolate milk. Only she calls it dot-dot milk. … Last Christmas she baked us the most amazing cookies. It’s nice when customers are nice. … Neil is my human VCR. He’s always able to tell me what I missed on TV last night.
11:46 – Seth clarifies last week’s question as to whether Alan Thicke wrote the Growing Pains theme song “As Long As We’ve Got Each Other,” it was written by John Bettis – sang by B.J. Thomas
13:09 – Another reference to the Cold Stone Creamery forearms. Marble Slab has been around five years longer than Cold Stone (1983 vs. 1988), but there are 1,400 Cold Stones vs. 349 Marble Slabs.
52:09 – Seth hasn’t had a physical since 8th grade
55:02 – Jah spots what’s in Seth’s search window of his Google page: GUCCI MANE
1:00:45 – Jah finally sees Borat. Seth: “Did you see Titanic?”
0:34 – Seth warns Jonathan that he is sitting almost directly underneath the mistletoe
1:21 – Jah has not been to the website, checked the e-mail or been to the myspace page in two weeks b/c he is playing a live show – Doug Westin’s Troubadour on Santa Monica, Dec. 15
2:07 - More “Behind every cup of coffee, there’s a barista and a good story:” For weeks I had called a customer by the wrong name. He was too shy to correct me. I was so embarrassed when I found out. … Sometimes, they have an argument about who’s going to pay for the drinks: “I’m gonna get it.” “No, I’m gonna get ’em.”
27:07 – This year will be 11th year that TBS will air “A Christmas Story” marathon from Christmas Eve to Christmas Night – unfortunately, it will be first year that director Bob Clark will not be able to watch it – was killed in April on PCH
53:29 – Seth’s sick, Jah’s sick of life. Jah: “What’s your ailment this week?” Seth: “Fucking life.”
1:00:25 – Seth looks ahead to the Episode 100 extravaganzo and ponders what they will do
1:01:44 – Jah never received a pickup line back after requesting it and getting charged for it during Episode 093
1:02:16 – Jah hears through the grapevine that Tara posted her boobs on the UYD website
1:03:22 – Seth thinks they had a great show despite him not feeling 100%
7:14 – Jah’s depth charge goes off, but it’s not a pertinent UYD factoid
31:40 – Seth’s friend John Buckley can, by not looking at a license plate, look at a driver and their car and tell you whether or not they have out-of-state plates
32:25 – Jah re-references his ability to distinguish the different colors of M&Ms; with his eyes closed
41:54 – Seth finally watches 55inch's clip of Jah on SNL with Jon Lovitz. The musical guest that week was Randy Newman, who Jah impersonates with a gravelly “Picasso” rendition. Seth couldn’t believe how composed Jonathan was on live television
44:06 – Seth looks up Don Vito from Jackass – got arrested doing an autograph session while drunk and fondled two 12-year-old girls, was found guilty and screamed “KILL ME!” in the courtroom. Kobe Bryant’s lawyer was also Don Vito’s. He is now on suicide watch in a Colorado prison.
1:03:50 – Jah notes the drama going on in the UYD website: “I feel like this is not conducive for the UYD community.”
0:54 – Jah and Seth receive several Christmas gifts from UYD listeners: vegan fluff and Peter Pan peanut butter, Season’s Beatings from Jerry Springer’s Ringmasters bandaid dispenser, Florida magnet
5:25 – Seth shows Jah a paper with “MV7” written on it. Turns it upside down to reveal “LAW.”
6:55 – UYD is still taking suggestions for Episode 100. They’ve gotten a lot of suggestions – a few too many, if you ask Jah
9:56 – Jah reads e-mail from UYD listener: “Guys, you’re pronouncing Oregon the wrong way. …”
25:46 – Jah and Seth do the Mark McGwire-Jose Canseco Bash Brothers bump in the studio, and Seth suggests doing it before every show. Seth can’t find who started the fist bump but he thinks it’s Jamaicans
29:32 – More college classes: USC – The Beatles Albums; Indiana University – Star Trek; Bucknell University – Witchcraft. UYD voicemail caller took a class at Northern Iowa University called “Just Sex,” where they were graded on their ability to talk about sex
34:42 – Jah threw an index card in the studio in a place where OCD Seth wasn’t comfortable with
41:37 – Jah plays “Kill Your Television” by Ned’s Atomic Dustbin through his laptop live on the show. Seth says he’s never heard of it: “I was too busy watching TV, not talking shit about it.”
1:00:31 – Jah plays “The Christmas Song” by Mannheim Steamroller in its entirety
0:21 – Jonathan feels like dogshit
8:53 – Jonathan gives a Grateful Dead lyric, but is fearful that he’ll get it wrong and Slim Tim will be all up in his shit: If I had a gun for every ace I’ve drawn / I could arm a town the size of Abilene
16:47 – Jah asks if Seth felt as bad as he does when he did the show a few weeks ago. Seth felt worse during the days following the podcast
55:44 – Jonathan receives the following text from a UYD listener: I JUST SAW JUNO. IT’S GOOD. IT’S LIKE NAPOLEON DYNAMITE IN LOVE.
56:13 – Jah is very upset at all the hostility going on in the UYD forums, says he had no part of people getting banned (Cassie, Crow, harpua, Wally, Lizard King, etc.). Jah said he would sooner shut the forums down than let people be banned
1:00:56 – Despite being sick, Jah gives stirring renditions of “We Don’t Need Another Hero” and “I Don’t Wanna Lose Your Love Tonight”
1:03:49 – Jah and Seth further discuss Episode 100 plans. Seth: “We owe it to ourselves, to the show, to the listeners who have gone out of their way to support us for two years.” Jah says he’ll do the show and then hold it ransom. He’ll get things from different people and send it to them individually
1:06:32 – Seth gives Jonathan a new name, “Fuckman.” Seth gives himself the name “Surfer.”
0:04 – Crazy long period of silence lasts for 26 seconds
3:14 – Seth wants the two of them to begin carrying combs/brushes in their back pockets
13:06 – Jah has a slightly Hobbit big toe with a little Hitler stache on it
14:06 – Seth is thinking that Domino’s will be the next pizza place to launch a new pizza. He’s already picked out the Domino’s he’s going to egg, just north of Oxford St. on 3rd St.
29:05 – UYD listener confirms that the turban-wearing “You’re a very lucky man” grifters exist. He was listening to UYD talking about them as one walked past him. He sees two of them in his neighborhood and saw them eating lunch together one day
31:58 – Phenomenal voice messages – seems like they’ve got the Pacific Northwest on lockdown
41:50 – Rambo trailer plays in background
1:03:24 – Episode 100 discussion. Seth almost walked up to Orlando Bloom in a Whole Foods to try to convince him to be on the show
1:04:28 – UYD has made an achievement – on the first page of iTunes of Featured Podcasts
0:25 – They’re adding a new component. They will now henceforth be referred to as UYHD – the first UYD videocast.
1:48 – Seth cracks open some Pepsi Ice Cucumber – Jonathan is down with it but Seth hates it
13:26 – Jonathan covers his barista stories that he’s read in Starbucks
17:04 – Seth: “I hope you’re losing your mind right now because I’m losing my mind because there’s a camera here.”
23:33 – Jah’s microphone is as Bob Barker as he’s ever gotten. Seth’s traditional microphone pose, standing up all nervous-like. Jah’s pose is just kicking it casual
24:45 – Seth: “What is that enormous thing that used to stand next to my computer?” Jah: “The computer.” Seth: “But what’s that thing?” Jah: “The monitor.”
25:20 – Jah randomly: “Can you see my cock in these, because there’s a hole in these jeans.”
27:46 – Rambo’s full name is Jonathan James Rambo, so Seth is now going to start referring to Jah as either Fuckman or Rambo.
0:49 – Seth hands Jonathan a serrated knife that he says he will bring to Rambo, ask for his ticket and put it to the girl’s neck. Seth: “If I get arrested with that knife at John Rambo will you bail me out?” Jah: “Yes.”
1:32 – UYD listeners send S & J a menu from Pizza Factory – a huge chain in Korea that’s not really pizza.
2:53 – Jonathan makes it lain with some Asian funny money sent by UYD listeners
8:26 – Seth used to not care what he looked like while doing the show and now he has to look good. “What do you think people are going to say, like these dudes look like assholes.” Jah: “They’ll be like, I wanna fuck you guys.”
17:04 – Jonathan tells Seth that ever since he started smoking at age 11, he doesn’t start smoking until the sun goes down. Seth’s response: “Gay.”
17:30 – Thanks to the video capabilities, Jah reveals a horrendous pit stain that is probably due to the nervousness of the vidcast.
18:13 – After watching American Idol, Seth ponders the fact that there are females between ages of 16-25 that legitimately think they can sing. What are they thinking? Jah: “I believe that the way that they decipher the audio world is fucked up. It’s either a hiccup in the brain or they are completely delusional because of the shit they’ve been fed their whole life.”
19:43 – The UYD cameraman drops the camera and gets laughed at by Jonathan
21:26 – Jah calls for an official Seth Romatelli moonwalk, but Seth says he’ll do it in Episode 1000 with Macaulay Caulkin
27:51 – Seth and Jonathan were going to do a 5-hour show but opted to instead do a show that was twisted a touch technologically. Show is also available in audio format. The video is a trial run to see if they want to expand the horizons for what they do. They thank cameraman Matthew for his help.
29:30 – Dude writes a crazy negative review on iTunes for getting banned on the forums and it took their ranking down. Jah: “It’s something I can’t control because I have rogue moderators on my fucking website.”
30:09 – Seth takes us on a virtual tour of the studio. Usually there’s an ash tray next to Jah’s computer. Text, articles and index cards laid out on one of the couches, etc. Two years of their lives wrapped up into this little living room area.
31:38 – Jah is afraid he’ll look crazy and beat red and laughing too much with the video capabilities
0:29 – Jah took the 101 to get to Seth’s house tonight – coincidence? They think not.
1:26 – Show dedicated to Amir’s grandfather Tom, who passed away last week
1:51 – Shout-out to Weck for sending the minute-by-minute episodic recollection of what is Uhh Yeah Dude. Seth: “Tina Turner wrote a song about Weck. It’s called ‘Simply The Best.’”
7:43 – Seth is back to wearing his usual garb since they’re not on camera. Jah apologizes for Episode 100 because he was very nervous and since it was hot in the studio he was sweating profusely from the pit area
10:20 – Since Seth didn’t get advance screening tickets for Rambo, the full report won’t be until 102. The pocket knife, he says, will be unsheathed at certain points. Total deaths in First Blood: 1. Total deaths in First Blood Part II: 69. Total deaths in Rambo III: 132. Total number of people killed in Rambo IV: 236.
12:13 – Seth prefers a Score bar over a Heath, Jah goes with a Heath over a Score
13:40 – Jah claims Heath Ledger’s death is “tragic.”
23:54 – A modern-day phrase for the death erection: angel lust
0:00 – Ricky Gervais’ message on the UYD voicemail is played on the show. He refers to himself as “The Podfather.”
1:15 – Jah and Seth receive some gifts – Seth is wearing a Rambo t-shirt (from Bill) and a Florida pink flamingo visor. Jah is wearing a Clearwater, Florida tank top
17:21 – Jah explains the schoolyard game to Seth where you hold your index finger and thumb in a circle, and if the other person looks at it, he gets socked in the arm. If you can get your finger in the hole without the dude catching you, you get to sock him. If your finger gets caught, you get socked three times
41:01 – Nine weeks after texting “PICKUP” to 44544 (Episode 093), they texted him and said he’d be charged monthly for their service. Seth used the polar bear pickup line
46:17 – Seth declares that Jah’s mother looked beautiful at the SAG Awards
1:05:10 – Girl sends care package to UYD studio, included a letter talking about how she remembers seeing John Larroquette being interviewed on a late night talk show and wearing a Fishbone shirt and talking about how cool his son was
1:06:21 – Seth remembers how mad Jonathan’s dad got when he was talking shit about Paul McCartney. He won’t apologize for ripping on Ringo Starr, but when he was doing it he remembers thinking that his dad was going to kill him
1:08:00 – UYD made it to the front page of Featured Comedy Podcast on iTunes, a big achievement that Jonathan is stoked about
1:08:57 – Jah promises that UYD has a new website coming along with a UYD store
13:16 – Seth is attempted to abandon Obama for McCain because of McCain’s hot daughter Meghan McCain
16:34 – Jah and Seth get a grip of voicemails and e-mails about the “circle-below-the-waist” game mentioned in 102. Jah hears one explanation of it being a male-driven game that teaches young’ins not to look at friends’ crotches
40:59 – Seth wants to know if eventually his son is going to pull him aside and tell him he’s a doofus. Jah thinks it’s already happening – that instead of being irreverent they’re being pervy, creepy assholes. Jah says Episode 001 was them officially acknowledging the fact that they were no longer dope. Seth is flabbergasted by this revelation coming to him 103 episodes too late.
1:00:03 – Jah brings up the old Freedom Rock commercial with the two dudes sitting outside of a 60s VW bus, then does a spot-on impersonation of their voices
4:02 – Jah gives a shout-out to Joe and his dad John, who listen to the show together in Ione, California
20:52 – Jah is a Coke man, but his dad is a Pepsi man – at the end of the day he’s a Barq’s man
34:50 – Seth feels that no one should swim ever. He’s never gone to the beach and never will, and showers with shoes. Jah thinks Aquasocks need to be the new throwback
37:32 – Jah is holding an iced venti quad soy vanilla latte (four shots of espresso instead of three)
39:58 –Seth talks about his love for Papermate Flare Pen: “It’s like a Sharpie on training wheels.” Jah uses it to create his old tag: CENST with 1ER underneath it
54:12 – Seth chose not to remove himself from the mailing list of the 2008 SI Swimsuit Issue. Jah didn’t remember the edition being so jam-packed with girls, and says there’s some cute girls in it
55:16 – Seth says both Project Runway and America’s Top Model are strictly-women shows, but Jah argues that Project Runway is for anyone who respects fashion
1:06:37 – Jah and Seth pull a dope move on the listeners by Seth speaking into our left ear and Jah whispering into our right ear
0:41 – Seth and Jah kick a sweet beatbox vibe
2:27 – Jah gave up Phish for lent
5:31 – Seth is pumped for the Mega Millions getting up to $270 million. Seth says he would donate half of it to charity if he won. He has no idea what he would do with the rest of it. Jah would buy Seth a TV, lease him a Cadillac, then pay someone to let him kill them
30:09 – Seth brings up ohemgeeitsme’s breasts
31:38 – Jah says they could be making money right now if they were stand-ups. Seth says stand-up is a beast that not many people can tame. In his opinion, only two men have ever tamed it – George Carlin and Chris Rock
37:23 – Seth hated the Knight Rider pilot, but liked the UYD voicemail message that said “Who needs a talking car when I have UYD plugged in?” Jah said it would’ve been dope if Vince Vaughn was playing Michael Knight and it was directed by McG
40:25 – Jah hands Seth a photograph of Jah at age 14 with his friend Brandon, wearing a Patagonia mosaic Indian print fleece; Brandon is wearing a Guatemalan hat with a Pearl Jam plaid shirt. It’s from Jah’s boarding school, VVS, in Sedona, Ariz.
0:21 – This is the UYD leap year show – 29 days in February
3:32 – People are telling Seth 2 things: 1) TV is dead and 2) Weed is the new coke
38:40 – A UYD listener (Jah can’t remember his name) is working with an post-Katrina organization down in New Orleans. He called Jah on his road trip down there
54:17 – A sun shower is when the sun is out but rain is coming down. When there’s thunder out, the phrase is that “God is bowling.” When you see the sun break from a sun shower, “The devil is beating his wife.” Seth learned this phrase from the South this week standing next to an African American man
57:03 – Jah appreciates the amount and the enthusiasm he’s gotten from all the female listeners sending him pictures of their vages on his phone, but he’s saying that now it has to stop because there’s too many. Jah says they have to be sent via snail mail to Seth
1:02:12 – Jah explains why the website is designed b/c the webmaster got married and flew coop; the site doesn’t load; they’re trying to get it back up with the new site when agent79 gets his shit together
1:03:18 – Seth brags about UYD’s Podcast Alley #12 ranking out of 3,000 comedy podcasts
1:03:30 – Jah gives a shout-out to the SUNYs that listen to UYD – listener Jared Koscinski’s entire second floor listens to UYD
1:05:01 – Seth wants to know if anyone from his alma mater, Emerson, listens to this show. He’s angry that no one from Emerson has contacted him
3:29 – Seth wonders why UYD is getting so many voicemails from Australia. Jah loved the gang of messages they got. Seth gives shout-outs to Matt and Mira and everybody on the fifth floor of a college dormitory to be named later – they couldn’t make out the name because there was a dope party going on
4:30 – Seth shouts out to the University of Mary Washington swim team, who listen to UYD during practice
6:38 – Jah can bench-press 150; Seth can bench 140
10:23 – Jah is laughing at the bodily fluids flowing from Seth’s body at the moment
19:05 and 21:07 – Seth and Jah revisit their whistle / sssmmMMOOKIN! routine with hot girls
23:43 – Seth has counted cigarette butts for 106 episodes Jah’s smoking average for the show. Jah knows what he averages – 5 cigarettes. Jah is supposed to put on a nico patch and he’s going to put it on Biffin’s Bridge
0:32 – Seth’s new handle is “Hard As Is”
1:29 – Chris’ grandmother calls the show “Oh Dude Yeah”
1:52 – Jah says he’s back on the smokes after quitting for 5 days. Seth doesn’t believe that it’s hard to quit but Jah insists it is
3:34 – Seth’s mother thinks Jah is smoking weed because it sounds like he’s taking the deepest hits; Jah explains this is because he’s using a handheld mike, spitting from the dome
26:18 – Jah explains that John Mayer is a poor man’s Dave Matthews, while Jason Mraz is a poor man’s Beck
38:04 – Jah’s friend Juliette, the lead singer for Hello Stranger, has a walk-in closet that’s a panic room
0:27 – Seth is still going by “Hard As Is”
0:59 – A couple episodes ago UYD talked about how girls can’t leave the house without being assaulted. A female listener lets Seth know about the rejection number, 1-310-495-5412, and when some dude spits his ill game at you the recording tells you the person that gave you this number doesn’t ever want to see or speak to you again
1:45 – Jah gives a thank you to his mom for having him, to Seth for having him here this evening as a guest, and to Slim Tim, who sent a package with a double-disc recording of the Jerry Garcia Band on August 7, 1977 – Jah’s birthday
16:50 – Jah is smoking a bit, but Seth says not to feel bad. He talked to a girl who took Chantix, and after smoking for 13 years she was totally cool in one month. She said that quitting cigarettes is like mourning a friend, and Seth busted up laughing in her face. Jah says it’s more like realizing how fragile sanity is: “You’re only a cunt hair away from boot heeling infant children at every turn.” Seth gave up caffeine for a while but it was never too hard to deal with. Jah said he would not do Chantix, but he might consider the hypnosis
19:59 – Longtime UYD listener Nick and his beautiful wife Heather are 8 weeks pregnant
24:46 – Shout-out to Ben Larroquette on his upcoming birthday, as well as UYD listener Tara’s 21st birthday on Wednesday
26:23 – 311’s “Amber” was Jonathan’s ringtone for when Amir would call
37:05 – Jah proposes that one reason dudes spit shitty game is because they see complete losers walking into a place with beautiful women. Jah asks dudes who listen to the show and own a pair of True Religion jeans to call him on his cell. He also asks dudes who wear Affliction t-shirts to call his cell.
39:55 – Seth asks if it’s illegal to turn left into a gas station and then faux drive by and turn back out into the street. He does it 5 times a week but Jah confirms that it is illegal
53:02 – Jah discusses laugh tracks, they have trickle-out laughters called “Fred & Ethel” where you hear the stragglers. Background noise is called “Walla Wall”
1:00:55 – Seth mentions that UYD keeps creeping up the iTunes page
1:01:24 – Jah notes that his package looks huge right now
4:25 – Seth’s dream of appearing on an episode of Beverly Hills 90210 could technically come true because the CW is planning a spin-off of the show
6:24 – Seth says the dance crew Status Quo was robbed in America’s Next Best Dance Crew because they’re African American because MTV is a racist network. Jah called the Jabberwalkies winning it from Day 1, and is happy
8:32 – Voicemail callers have requested Amir to appear as a studio guest
9:27 – Seth gives a shout-out to Patrick and Adrian in Arlington, TX. Jah thanks Patrick for busting UYD’s balls about not being involved with the Myspace page in so long
54:28 – Seth gets a call from Weck asking him to look on Jah’s dad’s IMDB page at the trivia section: Has a son who was a fan of 90s group Fishbone. Jah: “I loved Fishbone.” He explains that it came out because his dad was on Arsenio wearing a polo shirt with the Fishbone logo on it, saying they listened to the same music even though he’s getting older. Also on the page: Liked playing Super Mario Land on Game Boy between takes on Night Court. … Likes ScharffenBerger’s gourmet chocolate, etc.
1:01:29 – Jah apologizes for uploading Episode 109 on Tuesday, and appreciates people texting him and asking him where it was
1:02:14 – Seth says he’d like to get UYD back up in the top 10 of 3,000 comedy podcasts on Podcast Alley, although they’re currently down to No. 22. Podcast Alley was the first thing Jah came across and thought it was the only thing you could go through to get them
0:29 – UYD is doing the show on Saturday because of life man, trials and tribulations. Jah giveth and Jah taketh away
1:44 – UYD wishes a huge Happy 21st Birthday to Brian from Brooklyn, UYD’s top field agent. He’s been to competitive eating events, jam band gatherings, a rave, a Police concert at the Meadowlands, etc.
14:20 – Jonathan lifted and frequently uses a quote he heard from REM’s Michael Stipe: “Every generation thinks they invented oral sex.”
14:47 – Jah thanks the UYD listeners who submitted their own versions of Lolcats with UYD themes on them
30:07 – Seth wonders why he can’t just call Moviefone to get movie times and not hear Tyler Perry’s Madea character talking to him. Jonathan can’t believe that Seth still calls Moviefone to get movie times, which sparks a long discussion about Seth’s technological woes. This reminds Seth of the e-mail from Seth’s favorite listener, Kat, who said “Seth’s above e-mail…” Jah clarifies that it’s not that as much as it is something that he doesn’t do, similarly to their friend Sunny Levine (new album “Love Rhino” available on iTunes), who doesn’t drive or have a driver’s license. Jonathan’s only concern with Seth not doing e-mail is that he feels he needs to stay on it, and he’s concerned that in 4 years if Seth decides he wants to be up in it, it will be like getting dropped off in the middle of Haiti. Seth reiterates that he’s listed in the book. The only people he talks to are Jonathan and his mother. He used to have a cell phone 8 months ago but had a full nervous breakdown and the phone “broke,” Jah just took Seth’s cell number out of his phone 3 weeks ago. Seth questions why people are so constantly texting and calling and Facebooking and Myspaceing (40:28)
46:05 – Seth has been on MSNBC’s Lockup Raw marathon, and describes one of the interviews with a skuzzy inmate in Kentucky: I take a bucket, and have all my people fill it up with shit and piss (Jah goes into a coughing fit at this). Then the dudes smashes a lightbulb up in a towel, pours it into the bucket, then throws it on the prison guards so the glass cuts them
1:00:35 – Jonathan wants to take the new Trojan vibrator then put UYD on it with one of the slogans
1:03:06 – Another dip in to Jah’s old tag, CENST (Episode 104)
1:03:23 – UYD gets some submissions from female listeners about crazy-ass things dudes have said to girls whilst boning down on them, first discussed last week: two girls were going down on each other in front of another dude (all drunk) and dude says “Yeah, do you like mouthing her slime?” and a little while later while fingering the one going down on the other, he says “You love this. Look at how slimy you are.” … another dude was locking eyes with the girl (“I’m doing this” eyes) while eating her out, and called her the next day and said “hey, remember when I was going down on you and staring into your eyes?” However, Jah admits that guys enjoy this when the girls lock eyes with them
21:19 – Seth discusses watching Good Morning America and reviewing the terminology that was used in the film “Valley Girl” 25 years ago and how the lingo has changed: “Tubular” is no longer used; “dweeb” is now “geek;” “rad” is now “that’s chill;” “later” is still “goodbye;” “oh my god” is now “OMG;” “KMIA” is still “KMIA;” “dude” still works; etc. … Jah then spits some So-Cal lingo: “duck” means a girl is the worst; “toy” means like a childish whack style; “whack,” “dope” and “fresh” are all still used to this day. … Jah’s understanding about “duck” was that an actual dude and his girlfriend and someone referred to the girl as a duck, then it became popular through an East Coast rap song
25:35 – Seth is outraged that his hair product, KMS Hairplay Molding Paste, costs $25 a tube. It takes an hour to prep his hair each morning
27:19 – Jah goes over his new drink at Starbucks: an iced venti soy caramel macchiato with an add shot. His old drink was a 24-ounce soy white chocolate blended with an add shot, no whipped cream and no fudge swirls. Seth: “And balls.”
33:15 – Seth shows Jah his appendix scar
47:20 – Jonathan and Seth talk about their disdain for feet, especially bad feet on women who tend to show them off more than they should.
1:17 – Seth tells listener Tim in England that he and his wife have permission to name their son Seth. Seth tells the listener who wants more pictures of Seth to paint his eyes that that is cool too
6:16 – Jah gives an official shoutout to the working man. He says there has been an inordinate amount of men calling the UYD voicemail who have jobs that they don’t enjoy and don’t take a phenomenal amount of brainpower. Jah thinks it’s fresh that UYD helps pass their time at work more smoothly
8:25 – Seth wishes Amir the best of luck as he will play Coachella this weekend. Jah is resentful because he won’t be joining him
35:48 – Seth wonders if it’s possible to steal somebody’s gas tank. Jah says yes but it would be a lot of work. He asks because the gas prices are killing him. He can’t imagine what it would be like if he still had his Chevy Cheyenne pickup with a double tank
38:25 – Jah hasn’t been hiking for almost a month. When he was doing it regularly he looked like Elizabeth Berkeley; now he looks like Delta Burke.
40:59 – Jah is thinking about getting another tattoo: his birthday across his knuckles, 8-7-77. He says it’s the first one he would get where everyone would see it all the time. He has 3 tattoos, all of large scale that took a long time to design by tattoo artist Jill Jordan.
42:56 – Seth got a call from a listener who informs him that in Episode 031 at the 18:43 mark, Jah lights up a cigarette for the first time on the show and says he won’t make a habit of it, yet he’s smoked every episode since. Jah laughs. Seth acknowledges that he encouraged Jah to keep doing it.
44:05 – Seth asks Jah if he’s going to be with him when he’s celebrating 6 years of sobriety. Jah says no because it’s 4-20 and he has places to be.
45:45 – Seth thinks everyone should do everything they want all the time, then goes on another rant about his sobriety misery.
1:02:35 – Seth says there’s never been more correspondence than there was this week, including Seth’s home phone, the UYD voicemail, Jah’s cell phone, Jah’s e-mail and a GRIP of UYD downloads. Jah says that if he’s not getting back to people it’s because there’s been an enormous amount of calls and texts coming in and he wants them to keep on coming
0:58 – Jonathan finally figured out how to change the voicemail. He didn’t realize that for 100+ episodes, the main voicemail message and the mailbox message were playing back-to-back so the callers had to wait through incredibly long greetings before leaving a message
18:44 – Seth ponders what’s up with Jack Johnson? Jah says that in Hawaii there’s not a bigger star or singer in the world than JJ. Jah says at best he’s utterly boring, while Seth says he’s the worst.
19:49 – Blues Traveler is playing opening night at Hollywood Park, so Seth tries to get Jah to dip back in
23:27 – Seth boldly states that UYD has the funniest, smartest listeners in the world. He thinks it’s crazy how good the stuff is. Dudes called in singing in high falsettos, some listeners sent tearjerking e-mails
31:03 – Jah admits he was breastfed. Seth says that is why he has incredible social skills and a high I.Q.
0:59 – Jah dips back in to crazy things dudes have said to ladies whilst boning down. Jah was hoping he would’ve gotten more of them by now. Male listener calls in and says his girlfriend was going down on him, he looked down at her and said “you look like a monkey,” which didn’t go over so well.
4:02 – Seth wants to be called “Gillette” from now on – not because he loves Penn & Teller, but because he’s “the best a man can get.” Jah thinks the phrase should be reserved for Seth’s lady when he’s spitting mad game
5:47 – Seth reiterates that he is a latch-key kid. Even now, when he hears a set of keys jangling, he freezes up. He still tapes a key to the bottom of his foot
13:15 – Seth ponders if kids still wrap their textbooks in grocery bags, but Jah says no. Jah also says that only poor kids used to use them and not real book covers like Jah had with an awesome Porsche on them
19:12 – Seth just did a full ball shift like a true East Coast Italian. Jah has never seen Seth do that before
30:42 – Seth faces the grim realization that his only hope right now is to get married because he is so completely out of the loop with social networking. Seth thinks old people are still able to do it without being wack, but Jah thinks it’s weird if you’re over the age of 30 and are vehemently pursuing your web presence. He says there’s some kind of creepo factor to it.
0:39 – UYD gets a grip of messages from Atlanta this week
2:07 – Jah asks anyone who might be a UYD listener and work at iTunes to call Jonathan on his cell phone. He has important questions to ask them
8:44 – UYD also got 27 calls from Portland in addition to the 40 from Atlanta. They also got 16 more calls asking how Jonathan and Seth met. Both of them remember the night but are not divulging the details of the occasion yet
9:51 – Seth says Portland is the freshest city in the country, while Baltimore is the new Austin. This leads them to the discussion of what Austin is, and what the cities’ slogans are (Keep Austin Weird, Keep Portland Queer)
10:27 – Jonathan reiterates that clean needles save lives. Seth: “It’s true. And loud pipes save lives.”
34:12 – Continuing the segment of shitty things dudes have said to girls while boning down on them: “Come on, shut up and just hop on it!” … “I wish you had a ’70s bush. Don’t shave for a while.”
2:19 – Seth requests 2 more things he doesn’t want to see any more videos about: 1) Mentos & Diet Coke, and 2) Toddlers being videotaped smoking weed
7:53 – Jonathan’s mom just texted him: GIVE ME THOSE DATES AGAIN? AND WHERE TO? MADRID? BARCELONA? WHAT ABOUT YOUR PASSPORT? Jonathan explains that this is in reference a mini-tour that Jogger will be taking to Spain in mid-June
25:00 – Jonathan advertises his 1989 Dodge panel truck is for sale
33:49 – Seth stands in front of a mirror and looks at himself naked twice a day, as does Jonathan
43:40 – Seth reveals that he does not take elevators, which Jonathan is amazed by. He also hasn’t used a payphone since July of 1999
52:44 – Jah goes through a list of Cougar dating websites
54:58 – UYD moved up to the next row on iTunes, next to 2 other podcasts with gay themes, which Seth says could be confusing for people searching comedy podcasts: “Gay Yeah Dude.”
56:22 – Jah says there are a couple things in the works that he’s excited about bringing to the community of Uhh Yeah Dude – t-shirts in the mix that will happen soon, as well as facets of the show that are going to be expanding.
14:37 – Jonathan got a text this week that said HEY JONATHAN – ARE CROCS REALLY ALL THEY’RE CRACKED UP TO BE? Jonathan simply replied, NO
41:48 – Jah reveals that Amir is going to see the Sex and the City movie because he’s been there since the beginning. Seth, too, has seen every single episode. He defends this because he says it was his only way to figure out what women think about. He says he’s more lost now at the end of it
49:43 – Jah loves Mark Wahlberg because he has a crazy high-pitched lady voice and so does Jonathan, and he gives Jah hope in the world. “When he gets intense, his voice gets all crazy high like mine does.”
1:03:55 – Seth took his glasses off and it freaked out Jonathan because he feels like he hasn’t seen him without his glasses on in 10 years. Seth does something to make Jah crack up but noone knows what it is
0:23 – Jonathan begins the episode by cracking up at Seth about something. He says that Seth was going off before the show about how the country is freaking out about everything over the last month or so
1:59 – Seth gives a head’s up that Episode 122 will not come at its normal week, since Jah will be going to Spain for a Jogger tour
8:47 – Jah wonders if he can bring back the “Schwwwiiing!” expression from Wayne’s World whenever hot girls walk by. Seth says no because he needs to stick with the Smokin! thing because it’s his
29:34 – Jah dips back into awesome things dudes do while boning down with ladies. Jah says that eventually they’ll keep doing it until a dude hears him say one and realizes it’s him, then UYD can link them up together. A few: One dude could blow himself (Jah admits he stopped trying when he was 14) and would cum in his own mouth, balancing on his butt, bent over with legs up, and having to rock back and forth. Girl said there were a lot of noises, and while he was doing it he would look over at her expecting her to be turned on by it. Another guy would simply repeat “Your vagina feels good” over and over again in a monotone voice for the second half of sex through fruition
47:13 – Jonathan does his Christopher Walken impersonation
54:43 – Because UYD has been getting a lot of e-mails and phone calls about things being directly stolen from UYD, Seth is officially announcing that the Christmas Creep has begun as of the first week of June. Jah also confirms that people have been spotting other Andy Rooney and Craig’s List segments popping up elsewhere
58:10 – Jah receives confirmation that 7-layer burritos at Taco Bell are totally vegan by nine people. Then Jah heard something from a listener about how Taco Bell gets their tomatoes. Seth: “If you eat a banana, you’ve killed somebody.”
59:45 – Jonathan and Seth decide that since gay marriage is legal in California, they should join together in Holy matrimony. Seth: “That’s going to be crazy. I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, but funny.” Jah: “You get to sort of somehow finally in your heart and mind fuse your two favorite comedians, Kevin James and Jonathan Larroquette, into one super person.”
1:02:20 – Seth thinks Jonathan read something already in the show, but he actually read it in pre-pro. Jah is surprised that Seth mistakes the context
1:04:25 – It becomes clear that Seth is getting worked up about skipping a week for Episode 122 (the week of June 23, when Jah will be overseas). Jah: “We don’t like to miss shows – well, Seth doesn’t like to miss shows. I don’t give a fuck. I would miss every other show, probably.” Seth: “I think we owe it to the people that take the time out of their lives to share with us, we owe them a new show every week of our lives. It’s the one constant we’ve all had.” He also notes that they haven’t missed a show since late ’06 (Episode 037 would have originally been posted on Oct. 30, 2006. The only other skipped week was Oct. 2, 2006, which would have originally been Episode 032)
0:45 – Since the Boston Celtics are playing the Los Angeles Lakers in the NBA Finals, Seth and Jonathan have a wager going – if the Lakers win, Seth has to give Jah a Boston Crème Pie, and if the Celtics win, Jah has to give Seth sushi
9:11 – Seth reminds the listeners that Episode 122 will be put on hold for a week as Jah goes to Spain
11:56 – Jah doesn’t like it when people say “ladies and germs…”
14:05 – Jah was talking to high school senior David from Wisconsin about girl troubles. He wanted to ask a girl out, they sent some texts back and forth. It’s been backburnered for the time being but he expects an update in the next few weeks
52:34 – More crazy things dudes have said whilst boning down. Guy and a girl were in a casual sex relationship, the girl was falling asleep and he asked her to suck him before she went to bed, she said no half asleep, then realizes he has pulled a knife from between his mattress and box spring and is holding it up to her tit. She got up, got dressed and left. Jah thinks the dude had half boner rage and half rape fantasy
59:55 – Jah still can’t wrap his head around the show and how people listen to it and support it. It makes him so happy, along with the texting and calling. He encourages people to write reviews for the show on iTunes. Seth: “In February of ’06, Jonathan drove over here, sat in the same seat he was sitting it, smoked the same type of cigarette (not true – Jah is switching from Parliaments to American Spirits, which take 45 minutes to smoke), and we did Episode 001 of Uhh Yeah Dude. It’s now June of ’08 and we’re doing Episode 120.”
0:54 – Seth reminds everyone that this is the final show before sabattical – a well-deserved one-week break – UYD will be back better than ever the week of June 30
2:05 – This episode is a special dedication to the troops, especially Timothy Pegram in Afghanistan. Seth: “When you find Osama, we’ll get you the UYD shirt in early July, you’ll videotape it, make him say ‘Uhh Yeah Dude.’”
8:17 – Seth and Jonathan decide that they can’t get married on Tuesday after all b/c Jah is so straight that they wouldn’t believe it – unlike Seth
13:18 – Seth admits he has never owned a pair of flip flops. He has also never gone on a blind date
20:48 – Laura was the first person to send UYD photos of her and her husband when they were kids – in their soccer uniforms at age 11
26:37 – Jah’s friend Amir got to play guitar on The Tonight Show on June 11, back up for Priscilla Ahn
0:00 – UYD returns after a 2-week hiatus with Jonathan in Europe. Jonathan claims at 1:48 that his trip was awesome
1:31 – Seth eats a toffifee that the Darlingtons brought back from Europe. Jah says he can’t have one b/c he is a vegan, but he has a celebratory one anyway and apologizes.
11:10 – Seth is featured on a myriad of clips on YouTube ripped by 55INCH, chronicling Seth’s commercial spots that Seth calls “thanks for nothing, Hollywood.” “My 10-year acting career has been boiled down to 8 minutes.” Seth appears in the clips as a cowboy, a drunk high school student, a young entrepreneur, a family man, a computer hipster, a snowboarder
26:55 – Seth says Jah’s birthday is going to be off the chain, but Jah says it’s going to be depressing. Amir’s birthday is Sunday
57:41 – Jah dedicates this show to his friend Natasha Schneider who passed away yesterday. She was sick for a while before passing. His heart and thoughts go out to her and her husband
59:44 – Jah says Spain was amazing, but he doesn’t need to go back to Switzerland anytime soon
1:34 – Following the 2-week UYD break, it appears that Uhh Yeah Dude has fallen off the front page of Featured Comedy Podcasts. Seth predicts they will be back.
13:55 – A listener sent Jah an e-mail today and it dawned on him that the person was right: the term “Booty Call” is in dire need of being phased out b/c everyone still uses it and it’s wicked old. Nobody really likes the term. In Urban Dictionary, “booty call” was defined in Dec. 28, 2005. Definition: a late-night summons often made via telephone to arrange clandestine sexual liaisons on an ad-hoc basis.
22:32 – Jonathan wears Guerlain Heritage cologne, which is giving away a big man secret. He has others but won’t reveal them. Seth decides he will have to get a cologne for himself.
0:37 – Seth reveals that they are doing this episode with video cameras in the studio and neither of them are holding mics. They’re going wireless.
1:31 – Someone asked Seth if he dressed to the left or to the right, and he didn’t know what it meant. Jah says it means which side you put your dong on
5:46 – A new design for peanut butter has a twist-off on both ends so you can never get to the bottom of it. Jah’s idea was to make a billion dollars with a cylindrical Lucite item, a circle threaded into the top and bottom are a ketchup bottle and a phlange. The idea was borne out of people at restaurants having to empty bottles into a big container. Jah’s idea was to screw it in, and as the oxygen was getting pushed in it was getting pushed out of a carb valve in the end. He had the patent drawn up but was sitting in Swingers one night and watched a girl grab 5 bottles, go up to a vat, pour it in and fill up new bottles. His bubble was burst
7:58 – Jah says that there’s eight dudes in the room that they haven’t acknowledged once
48:14 – Jah hasn’t received a field sobriety test in years. He also once had weed in his car and gave the cop an expired recommendation, but his hair looked so good that the cop gave him a week and said “go home.”
1:00:09 – Jah apologizes for his lack of mobility and enthusiasm because his back is killing him
0:33 – UYD follows up on the cameras in the studio and tells us there will be a few clips up on the Myspace page and on YouTube. They are indeed filming again tonight
26:40 – At this point in the show Jah saw two of the cameramen look at each other and acknowledged that his pits were crazy fuego right now. He asks for a super close-up on the pits. He claims that because he’s a hippie he wears crazy deodorant that doesn’t prevent perspiration, it just perpetuates the sweat
31:43 – UYD got a message from a female busdriver in Pittsburgh, PA, and she doesn’t think she’s the target audience but she loves it just the same
56:23 – Jah has a theory that before the Depression in the 20s, dudes would jerk off a much more classy way, but then in the Depression it became a more angry and fevered “Soup Kitchen Jerk”
1:40 – This week’s show and every week in August, UYD is being sponsored by Entourage and HBO. Season 5 premieres Sunday, Sept. 7 on HBO.
3:56 – The iPod generation doesn’t know any words to any songs because they don’t have LP or CD booklets to read the words in
6:14 – Five short minutes after announcing Entourage as a sponsor, Jah admits to not knowing who Vinny Chase, the main character of the show, is
19:00 – This is Jah’s birthday week. Jah will be 31 years old on August 7
24:40 – Jah wonders how the pits are doing in this episode, but Seth says they’re not as bad as the previous week
28:57 – Seth reiterates that there are several people in the studio – 10 balls to be exact. “Do the math.”
57:43 – Jah doesn’t want to take the tone down, but tells us about UYD listener Kylie, an 18-year-old undergoing chemotherapy for cancer. Two days a week she goes in for 4 hours to get treatment. She had a chemo partner who sat in the room with her, a 65-year-old named Bob. Kylie was listening to the show one day and Bob asked her what she was listening to, and she split the headphones so they could both listen. Kylie wrote Jonathan last night to inform him that Bob passed away the night before. Bob had mentioned how happy he was to start listening to the show, and called it a “Radio Box Show” and was happy to listen to it and laugh while in quite a bit of pain. Jah dedicates the show to them and thinks it’s the best thing he’s ever encountered in his life.
1:02:25 – Seth is in disbelief that the show has already eclipsed an hour
0:32 – Today is Jonathan’s birthday.
0:40 – Entourage and HBO are sponsoring Uhh Yeah Dude this week
1:58 – As of midnight the night before, Jah has not smoked and is not smoking on the show for the first time in a long time. He wants to not smoke for a while, if possible.
2:42 – Jah is stunned by the amount of birthday text messages he got from people who listen to the show
9:09 – Seth recommends getting on back-to-school shopping since it starts in three weeks. Jonathan recommends the same store as always, Miller’s Outpost
16:27 – Jah begins cracking up at Seth’s impression of a dude at a convenience store ordering a Snickers Charge, some Newports, a Playgirl and matches and can’t stop himself until 17:06, saying Seth is “really funny”
41:10 – Jah is laughing so hard that he begs Seth to stop being funny
48:16 – Jah declares this is maybe the best birthday he’s ever had in his life
1:36 – Jah outs Seth and the fact that his outgoing message tells people about the season premiere of Entourage.
2:17 – Seth wondered if they ever decided if “Gillette – the best a man can get” is supposed to be targeted toward a male or female. Jah thought it should have been for a man. Seth wants to say it to a dimepiece in the club
50:14 – Jah thanks listeners for the feedback about microphones, sound quality, videos, and asks for thoughts on Entourage sponsorship and that listeners will post the YouTube videos on their own sites
53:01 – Jonathan and Seth declare they will be interviewed on the Mike O’Meara Show on WJFK in Washington DC on Monday, Aug. 18 at 5:30 p.m. Seth wonders if he’ll be able to talk for 15 minutes and not drop an F-bomb
0:46 – Jah reiterates that the show is being sponsored by Entourage
5:20 – Seth reveals that he’s drinking Diet Sunkist, and that when you drink 1 you drink 100. Jah says it’s one of the most revolting things he could conceive drinking. Seth says all he needs is a wheatgrass shot and a Diet Sunkist to make it through the day
14:01 – Seth asks how you text something to the wrong person, and Jah explains it
22:22 – Seth sees a woman on TV saying she ate a catfood sandwich while she was sleepeating at night
56:51 – Seth says all the college kids do is play beer pong
59:15 – Jah sings some Aaron Neville
9:57 – Jah got a new Blackberry this week
28:13 – Jah thinks that if Seth made something that allowed you to jerk off while watching pornography and playing Guitar Hero, Seth would be the richest man alive
28:43 – Jah heard a rumor that he would love to know is true. A guy he wound up in a recording studio with several years ago told him about listening to a tape of Elvis Presley in a studio with The Colonel (Tom Parker) played by Pat Hingle in Elvis and the Beauty Queen, a movie of the week. In the studio Elvis liked to be on the board and play with the fader, and Elvis would have the Colonel write a check to people. At one point Elvis in the studio said “Somebody take the fader, take the fader!” then fell back on the couch and said “Somebody write somebody a check!”
58:30 – Jonathan provides a little factoid about the Culver Hotel next to the Culver 12: John Wayne owned it, and gained ownership of it through Charlie Chaplin who lost it to him in a poker game. Jah: “Why isn’t life like, awesome like that anymore? Can we make life awesome like that again? The problem is there’s no really cool rich people anymore. They’re all wack.”
1:04:35 – Seth went on to podcastalley.com recently, and read a comment where someone wondered why UYD was only ranked 42nd. Seth thinks 42 is pretty good considering there’s about 50,000 podcasts in the system
1:06:14 – Seth invites everyone to visit the UYD studio and get tickets by calling 888-842-2357
1:04 – Jah is smirking at Seth’s sweatshirt, which is an old school 1977 Dallas Cowboys rigout to celebrate the beginning of the 2008 season
4:48 – Seth ponders who Cheech & Chong are, and Jonathan is forced to explain their history in comedy with marijuana-themed movies. Seth claims he’s never heard of these two guys.
11:32 – It’s getting a little hot in the UYD studio. There was some serious music playing next door and they had to close the window, making it steamy in the sausage fest studio
13:42 – Seth brings in his 1987 eighth grade yearbook from Dustin Hunking Middle School in Haverhill, MA, to prove his claims from Episode 130 (56:39) that he was voted “Cutest” in the superlative awards (He shared it with Todd Treffrey). He was also voted “Biggest Flirt” with Peter Martellucci and “Best Personality” with David Thistlewood and “Most Popular” with Jack Barone and “Most Outgoing.” Unfortunately, he also won “Shortest,” sharing it with Eric Carmier (a.k.a. “Slooch”), which took away from his game a little bit. He also shows his picture with the two collared shirts. Jah says Seth is extremely short in the pictures. He also shows the picture from the Eighth Grade Talent Show, which features Seth and his boys as “The Hunkstie Boys” seeing “Paul Revere.” (Episode 078, 8:14)
17:44 – Seth wonders where Jah escaped to, but Jah is getting a glass of water from the kitchen. Seth’s not cool with Jah using one of his coffee mugs for the water. Seth has one fork, one spoon and 50 mugs in the kitchen.
20:00 – Jah got a new phone and wishes he had his old one back. Seth says Jah was on it all the time. Jah hasn’t gotten used to the new one yet; he still gets a lot of calls and texts on it from UYD listeners
30:25 – Seth has a birthday coming up and is wondering what Jah will get him. Jah thinks he will get linked with something that will change his daily life
36:43 – Jah tells a joke about a kid being abducted by a predator that falls flat in the studio. Kid picks up a welder’s mask lying by the side of the street, man lures him in with candy and sodas. Man asks him if he knows what words like fellatio, anal sex and homosexual mean, then the kid says, “Listen mister I gotta level with you, I’m not a welder.” Seth, after a long pause: “I don’t get it.” Jah has to explain
52:55 – Seth asks for a Saudi sheikh to listen to UYD, drive to 466 N. Hobart Blvd. in a crazy Bentley, throw Seth the keys and say “I direct-deposited $50 million into your account. Have a great year. Uhh Yeah Dude!” and then drive away with oil spilling all over Hobart.
57:20 – Seth and Jonathan talk about how they agreed that they would stop at 262 episodes. They have officially reached their halfway mark with 131.
0:34 – UYD makes the executive decision to throw everybody out of the studio. No cameras, no wireless microphones because Seth says they’ve lost an intimacy in the last 8 weeks
9:05 – Seth’s home phone rings in the middle of the episode and Seth can’t believe he forgot to turn the ringer off. “Is that rude? Where I come from people don’t call after 9:00.”
11:29 – Seth wonders if people actually enjoy eating KFC
1:05:53 – UYD got a voicemail message from a blind listener in Arizona. He was in the mall and a dude tried to jack his wallet, which was attached by a chain. The guy said he was trying to get a look at the chain. When the blind man told security they threw him out, not the would-be burglar.
5:43 – Jah is getting overwhelmed on his Blackberry, it’s an influx of people talking about the show, typing comments into the UYD webpage which go to his Blackberry, UYD’s Gmail goes to his Blackberry and day-to-day life. He wonders if it would benefit him and the listeners to have everything into one form of technology that he can go to
12:28 – Seth ponders why people say the phrase “Where do you stay?” instead of “Where do you live?” Jah says it happens to him because he’s essentially homeless
46:48 – We hear Jah’s marijuana pipe that has fallen to the floor. Jah denies it but it’s true.
1:06:25 – Jah wishes Seth an early happy birthday in advance of his 35th birthday, Sept. 20. As Seth reminisces about the birth, Jah does a background “Happy Birthday” song and wraps up as Seth talks about his first boner.
38:27 – Seth reminds Jah that Mike Seaver’s best friend in Growing Pains was named Boner Stabone, and his father’s name was Sylvester Stabone
41:08 – Seth reads something from Playboy that says “What Kind of Man Reads Playboy?” It describes the reader as a young man to a direct course to success, perhaps a college man studying oceanography or architecture. “Either way, he finds way to relax with a pretty companion, as well as his favorite magazine.” Seth reiterates that as long as Hef walks this earth he will continue to buy his magazine. He also wonders when he will get to go to the Playboy Mansion
21:23 – Jah apologizes because he’s been swamped the past couple weeks with texts, calls and e-mails, and asks people that if it’s a pressing issue to re-send to him. He said he’s not getting any help because his intern is going through personal issues of his own.
31:00 – Seth mentions that UYD has a blind listener who isn’t protesting anything, although he was protesting when they threw him out of a mall in Arizona (Episode 132). Jah feels bad for alienating their one blind listener and all of their deaf listeners. Jah estimates that UYD has 700 deaf listeners
37:29 – Seth hears that there’s a lot of sugar in kid’s cereals, and that a way to combat that is to take a bowl and put half sugar cereal and half sweet cereal. Seth thinks that instead of placating your spoiled brat child with half a bowl of Honey Smacks and half a bowl of Cheerios, stick their head in the bowl of Cheerios and make them eat it. When Seth was a kid his mom wouldn’t let him have a cereal if sugar was listed within the first four ingredients. Jah wasn’t allowed to have those either
39:29 – Jah and Seth can’t believe how hot it is in the studio, especially since it’s October and it’s 95 degrees.
52:18 – Seth says there’s no worse panic attack than seeing dudes perform a capella
56:22 – Seth wonders what it would be like to get the three unaired UYD episodes and listen to them while drinking absinthe.
57:26 – Jah was thinking about what it would be like to buy a pair of Crocs today in a weird color and put them away… how many years would it take to pull them out in front of somebody and dangle them out to where the person goes “I completely forgot about those!”
59:48 – Jah promises to find a way of posting a photo of Seth from when he was a child – his mom sent it to the studio wearing a Cowboys shirt
5:21 – When you’re brushing your teeth and washing your hands, Seth informs us that you’re supposed to sing “Happy Birthday” twice
6:56 – Jah reiterates that they did not know the name of the “Nailin’ Paylin” movie from Larry Flynt. Since Quarantine is coming out, Jah says the porn name should be “Pornin’ Teens”
10:32 – Seth asks about the feature on the cell phone that you can press “Ignore” when someone calls. Jah says they know you do this because it automatically routs to voicemail, and thinks it should be changed so they don’t know that
23:35 – Jah lets everyone know that his Facebook page is real, although he is not at the controls of it. He said there is stuff being set up for it over the next few days but it will ultimately be him in control of it
36:13 – Jah thinks he should start saying “Well howdy there Kemosabe” instead of “Smmmokin!!!”
1:03:20 – UYD friend of the show John in Japan got a tattoo on his birthday that Jah thinks is the best tat ever – a tattoo that says UYD: DEAL WITH IT
3:17 – Jonathan gives his Led Zeppelin rendition of “Gotta Whole Lotta Tweens,” then does his impression of Aaron Neville singing “Whole Lotta Love”
4:52 – Seth hasn’t used a Q-Tip since UYD announced that they’re harmful to your ears (Episode 131, 8:53). He wonders if any other UYD listeners stopped using them as well
11:37 – VH1 did the Top 100 Hip-Hop Songs of All Time. Public Enemy’s “Fight The Power” was No. 1. Seth had a dispute with this because he expected Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock’s “It Takes Two” to be way near the top, but it was rated #37. He was mad that “Tha Crossroads” and “Gold Digger” were ranked higher. #2 was “Rapper’s Delight”, #3 was “Nothin’ But A G Thang”, #4 is “Walk This Way”, #5 is “The Message”, #6 is “Straight Outta Compton”, #7 is “Juicy”, #8 is “Gin and Juice”, #9 is “Push It” and #10 is “The Brakes”
25:32 – Seth is wondering what is going on in the back of Jah’s head. Jah is currently twiddling his hair, so it’s created a thick coating going back to the bookshelf. Jah admits that when he twists it, it goes into a horn shape
47:22 – Seth sees a segmen on CNN about a man named “Dave” at a gas station in Portland, who randomly picked a car and told them he’d pay for their gas. All he asked of them was that they “pay it forward.” Seth claims that he managed to use that phrase in like 12 different variations
49:03 – Jah asks that Facebook users would stop “Superpoking” him, because he doesn’t know what it is. He also doesn’t want to be a part of anyone’s Mafia gang or anything else
53:57 – Jah promises some more UYD stuff in the works, including t-shirts, clips on YouTube, etc.
1:02:10 – Seth wants to call Jah “Double R, Double T,” which eventually gets trimmed down to “R2 T2”
1:02:34 – Seth and Jah dip back into the “Kemosabe, whistle, smmmoookin” cat calls
1:05:18 – Jah takes us out with one more hit from his upcoming Aaron Neville/Robert Plant album with “Stairway to Heaven”
0:06 – Jah starts this episode off similarly to Episode 035, when they made fun of crazy podcast intros. Crazy voice distortions at 0:31, 0:44, 0:51 and 2:21 reinforce this
0:18 – Seth informs us that this episode is being sponsored by HBO and its new show “Summer Heights High”
23:51 – Jah thanks Q and Melissa in Tacoma, Washington. They are newlyweds, and their friend Graham turned them on to the show. They made a set of UYD decals that are available on Café Press – Jah’s mom put one on her car
31:47 – Jah says Seth has caused a Q-tip craze with his news report from Episode 131 and his updated from 137 saying he stopped using them. Seth got a message from someone who said his grandma said “never put anything smaller than an elbow in your ear.”
33:28 – Jah talks about Aaron Neville’s rendition of “Silent Night” and proceeds to give us a taste of that track
40:44 – UYD now has its own YouTube channel, youtube.com/uhhyeahdude. The videos will continue to be transferred from The Service Company to YouTube, including old episodes that were filmed that listeners didn’t know about. Jah requests that people should go to the videos and embed them in your Facebook and Myspace pages and subscribe to the channel. Jah also says next week he will give details about where to go on the internet to place orders for UYD t-shirts
0:08 – Jah starts speaking in crazy Crypt Keeper voice that scares the shit out of Seth
0:33 – Seth reiterates the sponsorship of UYD by HBO’s Summer Heights High. Every time Seth and Jah discuss the show Jah refers to it as Michael Keaton’s 1990 thriller “Pacific Heights.”
2:28 – Jah’s friend Dan went to a Summer Heights High premiere party this last weekend and reported that it was very funny
8:20 – Jonathan is drinking an alcoholic beverage tonight. Seth says he drank about a quarter of a 40-ounce Olde English into, then poured a Bartles & James strawberry daiquiri into the OE, which was his rendition of a “Green Machine” recipe given to him from Sonny Levine.
24:42 – Amir observed that on the Xtenz infomercial (first mentioned in Episode 062, 44:46), they got several Eastern European representatives to get paid to say “It got bigger!”
28:57 – The sound cuts out of UYD for about 4 seconds
40:51 – Jah wants to come up with a name for his drink (OE 800 and B&J strawberry daiquiri). Jah settles on “Old Knob Slob.”
56:50 – While making fun of Sarah Palin’s “Joe the Plumber” analogies, Jah comes up with one: “Schneer the Ventriloquist.” He then comes up with another non-name that’s almost a name at 57:59: “Letern at iTunes.” Seth: “Uhh Yeah Dude. Hey this is Letern.” Jah: “And I’m Schneer.” Seth: “Downright Talking with Schneer and Letern.”
0:52 – This episode is again being sponsored by HBO and its new series “Summer Heights High.” Jah and Seth got to watch three episodes of the eight that they received and thought it was hilarious
3:23 – Seth is wearing an Operation Desert Storm t-shirt that Jonathan declares as top-notch
30:43 – In addition to the early Christmas gift Seth got Jonathan, Season 5 of Girlfriends, Seth got Jah another Jahnika present – the complete series, 33 discs, 86 episodes of The Sopranos – it only costs $400
33:00 – Jonathan again promises that there are UYD t-shirts coming (first mentioned in Episode 075). There will be 2 designs in the initial run, one of them being the seatbelt design and the other being the hairy logo on the website mockup. The t-shirts are Alternative Apparel organics, and can go from XXS to XXL
37:39 – Jah announces the new YouTube page for UYD, youtube.com/uhhyeahdude.
0:26 – This episode is once again being brought to us by HBO’s Summer Heights High, which premiered Sunday, Nov. 9
1:18 – Jonathan introduces us to a new term, brocabulary, from a newly released manifesto about dude talk. Here are some terms: friendjamins - $100 bills lent to bros; brostalgia – nostalgia for something you did with your bros; wintercourse – intercourse that occurs during winter; guybernation – spending alone time, a.k.a. pulling a Henry David Thobro; testosterzone – a place men gather to be with other men; chilliards – billiards while chilling with the bros; fellabrating a birthday or a breakup with the bros; brocrastination – killing time with your bros; prebauchery – the bro party before the party; alcopal – a bro you primarily down cold ones with; broverdose – too much time with one of your dogs; hommitment – a date that keeps you from hanging out with the bros; alcofall – a tumble while drinking. At 8:14, Jah requests more brocabulary on this show
27:54 – Someone keeps leaving Seth voicemails while singing the entire Pearl Jam catalog over the course of five months
47:21 – Jah tells us that “flashing your badge” is when a girl bends over and shows you her back-vag
47:48 – More brocabulary: punxatawney jill – a girl out at the bar who is the first one to wear inappropriate-for-winter attire before the spring is officially here
0:42 – The next Friday we will see is Black Friday. Seth has already made plans to sleep over at Jonathan’s dad’s house the night before. They’ll probably hit up the American Girl store after John makes them flapjacks at 4 a.m. Seth will “hit a Circuit City like nobody’s fuckin’ business.”
1:38 – More brocabulary this week: marriagonce – the arrogance from a newly married man; pourizontal – standing or sitting so someone can pour a can of beer in your mouth; cerebro – the bro who does the thinking for you; ESPNvy – a chick’s jealousy over your love for ESPN Sportscenter; PMScalate – a woman escalating an argument because of her PMS; guynamic – the dynamic between bros; stalkward – awkwardness that arises when trying to avoid a girl who keeps calling you; guyamese twins – two bros who are inseparable; dudanym – a name only your bros call you; felladrama – drama between homies
5:39 – Jah wonders if, as the Christmas Creep has each year gotten further and further pushed back, Black Friday’s importance has been tapered
6:35 – For the first time in a long time, Seth tells us that a place where he’s not being gouged is at the pump. Jah says it feels like high school again
41:53 – Jah updates us on UYD t-shirts. He got a good idea on who needs what in preparation of online ordering
54:58 – Seth has asked for people to stop hitting kids and then he asked for them to stop getting them stoned. Now people are letting kids fight each other. Some sites: Tiny Brawlers, Toddler Fights, etc.
0:24 – Jonathan proclaims that this is “Straight Lampin’ With Schneer & Letern.”
4:00 – Jah got a firsthand report of a concert that went down last night in the San Diego area – New Kids On The Block. At this point Seth doesn’t know anymore what is cool, ironic, futuristic, robotic or stale. He’s just lampin’ all the time and doesn’t know what is going on. He can’t tell the difference between MGMT and NKOTB and Pearl Jam and leggings and plaid shirts, etc.
15:48 – Seth says UYD received a voicemail for J-Dog, where the caller said he was up in Café Dumond thinking about him – a place where Jah used to go on Thanksgiving Day and write works
41:54 – This Thursday will be Thanksgiving, during which Seth and Jah have to get downtown early to serve food to homeless people at the House of Blues – where they will be giving an interview to ZZZlist.com. They’re looking forward to some homemade guacamole made by John Larroquette, and are expecting Ben Larroquette (Jah’s brother) to cook the meal since Jah’s mom will not be there.
1:30 – Seth says that 144 episodes is 6 full days worth of episodes, so he suggests downloading everything, doing a full six-day listen and then resting on Sunday
2:28 – Seth asks Jah if he would like to date an Asian beauty, then reads an ad promoting a service to date Asians. “Call Yan today. Yan’s Asian American Matchmaking”
4:04 – Jah apologizes to UYD Nation for the extreme delay in the UYD t-shirts. He claims there is a long postponement with Alternative Apparel due to an injury to the female he was dealing with. He was pushing to have them available by Christmas, which he doubts will happen
9:04 – More brocabulary: If a bunch of bros are broing out and having an awesome time, there’s no reason one of the bros wouldn’t get a broner.
20:45 – Seth is practicing the Mystery Method on the show and throws a neg out: “Is your hair supposed to look like that?” Jah thinks it’s directed toward him and says “It does it sometimes if I twiddle it.”
57:26 – Jah asks if it feels at all like Christmastime to Seth, because it feels so unlike Christmas to Jonathan right now. Seth is slightly feeling it. Jah thinks it’s weird that Seth will not be spending Christmastime with the Larroquettes b/c Seth’s going home to Boston. Most every other year Seth had been with him, except for 2007 when Seth’s mom came to visit LA
0:12 – It’s 11:11 p.m., so Jah asks Seth to make a wish. Seth says it just came true
19:18 – Brocabulary: broa constrictor – a bro who loves to hug and be really touchy. Jah thinks he might be one, and Amir would put him in that category
34:44 – Seth feels like he’s practically being paid to get gas
15:38 – Jah is having a tough time believing Christmas is less than a week away. He feels it much less than any other year
54:24 – Jonathan and Seth recently gave a couple interviews about UYD: the first is on Ro Hurley’s site zzzlist.com (Click Celebs and they’re on the interview page) done Thanksgiving Day at the House of Blues on the Sunset Strip, and another interview was conducted by East Coaster Patrick for his website, Robot Bites Man (click on photo on homepage and go to RBM x UYD interview)
1:02:53 – Seth says UYD will do one more show in 2008, which will be recorded on the day he leaves for Massachusetts to see his family
1:16 – Seth thinks Jonathan should take Seth to the airport, race home and upload the show and then have it up while Seth is in the sky
16:10 – Seth has told us about the 5 Ls (Living, Loving, Laughing, Learning in Los Angeles), but he needs to tell us about the 7 Ps (Proper Prior Planning Prevents a Piss-Poor Performance)
17:56 – Jah calculates that if they’re doing 50 episodes per year that UYD will get to 300 episodes before the Mayan Calendar will run out
25:23 – Seth is flabbergasted at how quiet Priuses are. He was up at Whole Foods and he saw a Prius inches away from hitting his calves and he didn’t know it was behind him because it was so quiet. Jah says you can buy an exhaust sound to go with them that senses when they’re accelerating
51:19 – Jah wonders how intoxicated someone is at .20 BAC, but Seth says no way – anyone blowing a .08 wouldn’t even feel slightly inebriated. Seth thinks it would take 15 beers to be swerving off the road. Seth knows there’s been some times when he’s driven drunk and knew he shouldn’t have been and was like “Let’s get the hands on here.” Jonathan says it’s such an avoidable thing to do, so don’t do it
53:02 – Seth reiterates that he won’t end his Playboy subscription until Hugh Hefner dies. He heard that Hef’s daughter, Christine, the CEO of Playboy, is stepping down next month, so he wonders if that counts. Jah thinks Christine revived the magazine because she let the models start showing pink. Seth thinks that’s Jah’s steez. Seth is also still waiting for his first playmate born in the 90s, which he thought would happen in ’08 but guesses he’ll have to wait until ‘09
1:02:16 – Jah adores the listeners and is so happy this is still going on. He thanks them for continuing to listen, call, e-mail, Myspace, Facebook and everything else. “You guys have made this year—as wack as it was—so dope.”
1:03:43 – Jah thinks UYD needs to keep saying “2006 for life” because they don’t know how to change it on the voicemail greeting
8:00 – Jah wonders is Seth is going to see Paul Blart: Mall Cop starring Kevin James. Seth promises he will see that and Notorious when they both come out on Jan. 16
32:33 – Jonathan’s never been on a cruise. There’s a part of Jah that’s pseudo-interested in taking one, but his fear is that he’ll be in the middle of the ocean and have a full-fledged panic attack
46:40 – Seth has a full panic attack while watching a segment on 20/20 about extreme moms who mother dolls. The babies are called “reborns.” One of the moms is so crazy that she takes the doll out and says “it’s my baby” and other mother is saying “oh she’s sleeping, she’s so cold.” The other mom: “It’s a doll!” They go to reborn conventions, etc. … They also feature moms breastfeeding their 6-year-old child. Jah says that if the kid is 18 years old and still being breastfed, he will pay to watch that on the internet
56:04 – Seth had some great conversations with listeners this week, and Jah received a large amount of Christmas and New Year’s texts. He doesn’t understand how everyone is so funny
1:05:42 – Seth says MTV’s Bromance with Brody Jenner was such a bad show, although it was funny when they all got in the hot tub for elimination. The gay dude quit because he thought he was going to be on The Hills
1:07:21 – Jah gives us another URL to go to – the web address to end all web addresses – uhhyeahdude.com, which he implies will be up and running (it’s not)
2:33 – Jah wonders how many people are named Binaca in the world after the fresh breath spray. Jah says he used to carry Binaca and Seth ponders if one can still purchase that
9:26 – On 60 Minutes, neuroscientists are laying people in CAT scans and showing them images of hammer, barn, igloo, cocaine, bees, dildos, and watching the peoples’ brains when they see the images. They can then have the person think about the certain image and they can tell what they’re thinking about because that part of the brain lights up.
15:39 – UYD is pitching two shows to networks. One is called “So You Think You’re Alive,” an existential reality/discussion show they’re trying to sell to Nova, and then “So You Think You Can Eat,” a competitive eating reality show for Food Network hosted by Dom DeLouise and Kobayashi
22:37 – Seth thinks they should have their own show called “Herda Hadda Herda” where they go into the Halla and just herda-hadda-herda
28:27 – Jah thinks we should lower the driving age to 11, but Seth thinks we should lower the drinking age to 14 and the driving age to 13
28:42 – From now on, whenever someone asks you your age, you reply with the year you are born, and that is forever your age. Jonathan will tell people “’77,” while Seth will lyingly tell people “’84.” Jah’s newest girlfriend is “’97”
41:12 – Seth: “Hey, you get that report? I need that monthly.” Jah: “It’s not finished.” Seth: “It’s not done yet?” Jah: “Nope.” Seth: “What – what have you been up to? I thought you’ve been working on it all morning?” Jah: “Pissmops!!!” (in the same groaning speak as Bigger!! by Xtenz - Episode 062, 44:46). Seth doesn’t think Pissmops is a real website but Jah looks it up on the computer to prove it
45:17 – Jah apologizes for prematurely ejaculating talk about the website last week because there were a few setbacks but they’re super close and it’s going to be up and running any minute
52:02 – Jah has not legitimately laughed at anything for the past 5 years outside of the UYD studio, Tim and Eric’s and seeing the Ween show (Episode 091, 55:11)
59:07 – Seth’s 5 favorite words are Fuck, Man, Uhh, Yeah, Dude, Like (6)
59:39 – Jah gives us some of his old secret beeper codes he would punch in – 143 or 381 means “I love you,” 411 is needing information, 187 means you’re mad at somebody and 911 means emergency. Booty call was 80085 (“boobs”)
1:00:55 – Jah wonders how many words they’ve used on UYD. Seth recommends using Weckware and Jah says to use the Weckulator
1:01:43 – Seth’s porn name is “Bandit Kimble”
1:07:34 – For those complaining about not being able to access old episodes on iTunes, Jah needs more feedback and a solution is going to Podcast Alley and downloading them directly from there or streaming them live
1:39 – Jah thinks it’s remarkable that it’s been 150 episodes of UYD and thanks everyone for listening. He’s pretty stuffed up and apologizes
19:41 – Jah has received pictures from other people who have found the pregnancy tests at 99 Cents stores and sent them. (Episode 143, 23:50) He also received a photo of Seth’s 2-door electric blue 1993 Plymouth Sundance from another UYD listener named Tavis who lives up the block from Seth
39:00 – Jah reads a factoid titled “Strip Club Etiquette” from a periodical. What a strip club isn’t: “First, a strip club is a place to watch live naked girls disrobe. It is not a place to pick up girls or get laid. Nor is it a great place to masturbate or take a first date. The girls are there to make money, period, so if one can convince you she’ll put out to part you and copious amounts of cash, she will put in an Oscar-worthy performance to do so.” Seth calls Jah a strip club aficianado, but Jah says he’s more of an intermediary.
57:03 – Jah says that with 150 episodes up, it’s safe to see we are ultra-close to having the new UYD home up on the internet. He said Nick and Weck and Josiah and Jeff are vehemently working on different aspects of the show to put it out there on the etherweb
1:01:08 – Jah announces he’s going to put a new Jogger song on for the show outro
1:02:12 – Seth thanks the mothers of UYD for all the work they’ve done on the website, flash animations and skyping, etc.
1:03:33 – Seth admits that Simon Cowell from American Idol makes him laugh sometimes. Jah thinks Seth likes him because he’s a bastard
0:36 – Jah and Seth will be drinking Bacardi 151 all night long in honor of Episode 151. The show started late because they talked about life and love and ladies for four hours. Jah: “Ladies, what is it that you want?” They watched What Women Want but it didn’t help them answer any of these questions
1:06 – Seth and Jah announced the long-awaited return of their website, uhhyeahddude.com. Jah officially thanks a few people who were involved with the launch of the new site: Weck (Weck’s Wiki), Nick aka agent (designing the site), Josiah (UYD animation, etc., and Jeff aka 55inch (making videos, many soon to come
31:44 – Seth has a picture of a young Jonathan wearing a suit and his hair is a little long. Jah recalls they were trying to get him to cut the hair because it was touching the collar. Jah thought he was in Def Leppard in that rigout.
51:43 – Seth wonders if Jah has seen the late-night infomercials for Havasu X. 4 years of amateur video taken at the lake. It’s only $30.
1:00:37 – Jonathan brings up the original rule about calling his cell phone – you have to get a friend to subscribe to UYD before you can call him (Episode 084, 2:15)
1:01:00 – Jan announces that Jogger will be flying to Princeton University on midnight on Valentine’s Day, Feb. 14. Daedelus will be playing, and Cyne will be playing as well. He invites everyone to come out to it
2:35 – Seth gives an update on the CNBC “As Seen On TV” Tournament (Supplements, Ep. 151). In the semifinals, Shamwow! beat Girls Gone Wild, Foreman Grill beat Bowflex, and Shamwow! beat Foreman Grill for the championship. Seth looked up Vince from the Shamwow! Commercial, and it turns out he made a movie in 1999 called The Underground Comedy Movie, in which he sued Anna Nicole Smith for backing out of it and he sued the Farrely brothers because he claims There’s Something About Mary stole 20 scenes from him. He’s a former scientologist who’s being sued by them, and he’s an actor who worked at Farmer’s Markets selling stuff. He owns both the Shamwow! and the Slap Chop outright; he went to Germany and asked them to make him stuff.
19:19 – While watching the Miss America pageant on TLC (hosted by Mario Lopez), Seth observes that the women wear very unsexy two-piece swimsuits and flesh-colored heels
25:09 – Jah and Seth talk about the lady who had eight kids at once, and now they’re saying she has 6 other kids in addition to those. This leads into a random discussion about Juno, where Jah has to explain what happens at the end of the movie, and Seth freaks out when Jah tells him that Bateman tried to fuck Juno. Jah: “Spoiler Alert!!!”
39:20 – Jah gets excited talking about watching MMA fighter Fedor on HBO’s most recent 24/7 feature about the fight. Jah is super down with this dude. Jah also says he has never seen another company paste their name everywhere the way that Affliction has done within the MMA world. He said every corner of the ring, every turnstile, every seat, was pasted with Affliction. Even the priest that follows Fedor around is wearing an Affliction tee. Jah thinks the word will be so inundated into the lives of babies born from 2010 on that they will all be allergic to the word “Affliction.”
54:11 – Jah doesn’t get the new celebrity dating phenomenon. He’s at a point now where he’s completely flummoxed, because he doesn’t understand where the people are who are producing this stuff, because he knows there are people who eat it up, but he doesn’t personally know any himself. He wonders what compels a person like Brad Pitt to have such a drastic life change as he did. Seth can’t wait to see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button because he loves seeing the previews when they show his little body
57:00 – Seth dips back into the John Quiñones-hosted show “What Would You Do?” In this week’s episode, they sent in blind people into a bakery and the guy working behind the counter would be like “Yeah, what’s up Helen Keller? Step right up.” He would then hand them incorrect change with their paper money. They also did people dropping stuff at Open Houses and then interviewing the people who would just swipe stuff
0:23 – Seth tells us that this show marks UYD’s three-year anniversary. The first show was recorded on Feb. 10, 2006.
3:06 – Jah says that above and beyond anything else, he thinks The Secret works: Ask, believe, receive. (Episode 052, 0:17)
14:05 – Jah plugs Jogger’s upcoming show on Valentine’s Day with Daedelus and Cyne at Princeton University
26:49 – Jah’s phone is dead because his dog knocked it out of his hands and into a puddle
43:38 – Seth says that the Super Bowl is still not over because they still need to play one last play. If anyone wants to know about his manifesto he will be creating his own Zeitgeist. “When there’s that many blown calls it takes me longer to sift through all of it.”
49:17 – Seth reads a guide from the AARP that includes new hip lingo and definitions. The heading: VLOG, MASHUP, OMG- CAN’T KEEP UP WITH THE KIDS’ LINGO THESE DAYS? READ OUR SICK GUIDE TO YOUNG FOLKS’ SPEAK AND YOU’LL BE TIGHT, TOTES, OBVI! Some examples: Google – to use a search engine, especially Google; IDK – I don’t know; ROFL – rolling on the floor laughing; TMI – too much information; Baby Mama – the mother of one’s children, usually not a spouse; Boo – boyfriend or girlfriend; Cupcaking – engaging in a public display of affection; Scooby Doos – good shoes; noob – a newcomber; peeps – one’s closest friends; crunk – a hip-hop genre; disco nap – a short nap before a night out clubbing; check my vitals – monitor one’s e-mail, cell phone, voicemail and other electronics; floss – to show off wealth, often in a car; rock – to manifest greatness; talk smack – to speak negatively or belittle someone often in the heat of competition; fo shizzle; obvi; the bomb – the ultimate favorite; ridonculous – beyond ridiculous; sick – extremely cool; tight – fantastic; whack – unjustifiable; and badonkadonk – an attractive derriere
0:57 – Seth wants to know if it’s Friday the 13th yet so he can spook Jah at midnight
3:14 – Seth is stoked to go see the upcoming feature film Fired Up!, about Sean and Nick, the star players on their HS football team, who decide to go to cheerleading camp instead of a double session of football camp. They’re having a great time until one of them falls for the head cheerleader, who happens to have a boyfriend. To win her over they have to prove their intentions and make up new moves before the final cheer-off.
11:30 – Seth hands something to Jah that he ripped out of a book he had, which was inscribed from one of Seth’s dad’s friends to Seth’s dad. He asks Jah to read it. The book is “Baby, That Was Rock And Roll: The Legendary Leiber and Stoller.” The inscription reads: Joey: I can dig it, they can dig it, we can dig it. Can you dig it? 12/24/79 Are you ready for the 80s?
37:06 – Jah asks Seth if he’s familiar with Singular City magazine, a hip L.A. singles magazine which Amir gets delivered to his home for some reason.
1:04:55 – Seth thanks the fine people at Sports Illustrated for their annual swimsuit edition. Jah calls it “a doozy of an ish.”
1:06:40 – In these tough economic times, Seth hopes this free podcast will enable people to have UYD Parties
1:08:24 – Seth: “What’s it like to have the shit scared out of you on Friday the 13th?”
0:34 – Jah informs us that hiccupping is when your diaphragm goes into spasms
2:07 – The only water fountains Jah has even touched in three years are the same 2 at the park where he takes his dogs. He uses them to fill up their water bowls. Sometimes he’ll give Norman some Aquafina at home, however.
3:14 – Jah and Seth just got a knock from the other apartment for being too loud because they started so late because Jah messed up with the computer. The knocking persists at 3:29.
6:30 – Seth wonders if they’re going to Mardi Gras, but they’ve decided to go to Jazz Fest this year and Mardi Gras next year. Seth has never been to one but he hopes one day he could go. Jah has been to Mardi Gras.
18:06 – Jonathan is going to Europe for some experimental therapy (really a 3 ½ week Jogger Tour with The Long Lost), and Seth announces that Episodes 157, 158 and 159 will be brought to listeners in their entirety on time – they are “The Lost Episodes” that were recorded before Episode 001 launched. UYD will be back with a fresh episode in 160. Episode 157 will be 90 minutes long, Episode 158 will be 30 minutes long and Episode 159 will be the normal 60-minute length. Seth and Jah listened to them and think they’re very interesting.
27:02 – Seth is wondering if he is supposed to believe that, according to PepsiCo., Will.I.Am is Bob Dylan? Jah likes Will.I.Am and thinks he’s a super nice guy, but thinks that shows an immense amount of disrespect to allow yourself to be compared to someone like that.
28:53 – Seth wants to know what Andy Milonakis is up to
46:21 – Jah is a fan of 50 water (Vitamin Water), but he has a problem with Crystalline Fructose, which he thinks he has a problem with – it gasses him up
47:48 – Seth says that if we listen to closely to 157, 158 and 159, we might hear a different title for these episodes
56:10 – Seth dips back into The Lost Episodes that will be forthcoming. Seth wants the listeners to take it with a grain of salt because it’s the first three times Jah and Seth turned on microphones and just spit heat.
57:19 – UYD just celebrated their 3-year anniversary, and Jah and Seth thank listeners for sending them anniversary cards and Valentine’s Day cards.
59:00 – Seth points out that the amount of UYD downloads has been really high the last couple of weeks, which is awesome.
0:14 – Jah announces this is a farewell episode. Seth says this is a podcast but it’s also like a dance.
10:31 – Seth dips back in to the issue of Pepsi comparing Will.I.Am to Bob Dylan (Episode 155, 27:02). Upon further review, Seth doesn’t even know who Will.I.Am is.
27:53 – Seth re-explains that Episode 157 will be a 90-minute episode, Episode 158 is a 30-minute episode and Episode 159 is a 60-minute episode — all test-run shows that they recorded back in 2006 prior to Episode 001 — as Jah goes on a 3-week tour in Europe with Jogger and The Long Lost. Jah and Seth hope we’re down with them because they’re interesting.
48:11 – The audio of the show appears to get completely cut off after Jah says “It’s a city!” and then resumes with a different news item.
51:00 – Seth is wondering why young girls are so slutty these days. Jah explains that the same girl that got fingered under the bleachers when they were in high school are now the girls letting dudes film them in a little porn with a camera phone.
56:52 – Seth thinks that if you get the best version of yourself in Heaven, Seth will roll in with his 1977 Chevy Cheyenne listening to UYD episodes on cassette tape while Jah has to dub them down every week.
0:00 – The recording begins with Seth saying he’s going to go to QVC to buy something. This lost episode was originally recorded on Sunday, Jan. 7, 2006.
3:55 – Seth wants Jah to perform the “Fag Test” on him right now, and Seth explains what it is (Episode 061, 49:05): You hold your wrist out, and Scott House takes a pencil and digs it onto your wrist until it punctures the skin, and if you pull your wrist away from his hand before the skin breaks, you’re a fag.
8:54 – Secret Service codes: Hilary Clinton – Evergreen; Mammy Eisenhower – Springtime.
16:33 – Seth explains that 26-inch rims are called Deuce McAllisters because Deuce wears No. 26 for the New Orleans Saints (Episode 009, 9:20).
17:50 – Jah lists off all the forms of medicine for indigestion, hearburn, stomach gas, etc. (Episode 003, 34:00).
21:54 – Jah is down with the name Preston because that’s his middle name
40:53 – Seth wonders what the name of Alan Cumming’s cologne is (Episode 073, 31:04).
57:22 – Jah goes over the Yoplait Yogurt campaign “Together we can lick breast cancer.” (Episode 003, 57:09)
1:04:39 – Jah gives the original name of UYD, “The Jesus & John Show.”
1:11:00 – Seth claims they technically haven’t done a show because the inaugural show is coming up. Jah doesn’t think anyone is ever going to hear this, because they just needed to hear their own gay voices to test it out.
1:27:03 – Jah and Seth decide to call it quits since they’re at 90-something minutes at 1:42 a.m. Jah: “I’m gonna stop this and we’re going to listen back to it and no one’s going to ever hear it.”
0:11 – Jah calls this “Jesus and John, Episode 2, 12:41 a.m. on Jan. 21.” This is also Jah’s mother’s birthday
6:19 – Seth wonders if he could look any more awkward the first time he’s ever been on the mic. Jah says they’re both using microphones this week.
32:54 – Seth said they didn’t have much material and they tried their best, but they were both very tired going into this recording. Jah wonders if they just started again, would it be funnier? Jah says it would be smoother, not necessarily funnier, but it would allow them to know where they’re going to go next. After Seth confirms they did 30 minutes, the show ends abruptly.
0:39 – Jah shocks us by telling us this is being recorded on March 24, 2009 – giving us a fresh episode instead of a lost episode as there had been the previous two weeks
4:45 – Questions that came up in the time since Jah has been gone: 1) The pronounciation of Tempe, Ariz.; 2) Is it middle school or junior high; 3) What’s the deal with Catnip?
10:03 – Seth is so glad Jah’s back because he appreciates the perspective on human nature, psyche, etc., that J-Dawg adds to the show’s element.
15:07 – Seth and Jah announce that they have premium quality UYD t-shirts on sale. Seth describes that it feels like your favorite t-shirt. The shirts are Alternative Earth 100% organic cotton. The design is the hair logo, created by artists/friends of the show Kozy and Dan. Jah says the information will be up soon. Jah wore one of the shirts in Europe. He thinks it’s more awkward for J-Dawg to wear it because it’s a little more obvious by the design that it’s him on the shirt. He also doesn’t know if it’s OK to wear a Jogger t-shirt since it’s his own band. J-Dawg’s dad and mom both own shirts and Jah’s mom might be handling some of the phone ordering, so they caution not to be rude as some voicemail callers can tend to be.
35:01 – Seth notes that the day Jonathan left the country, the word “twitter” started being said nonstop for three weeks and wouldn’t stop. Jah said someone texted him “Twitter is Facebook for minimalists,” which he thought was funny. When Seth told his father about that, his father got really mad at him.
50:33 – Seth tells us we might have thought we were getting the third lost episode, but they are fully back.
1:09:45 – Jah says that Daedelus and Jogger have an EP that’s out, and you can buy a t-shirt designed by Kozy and Dan and get the six-song EP for free – the EP is titled Friends of Friends.
20:02 – Jah has been out of the country for a while and he wants to know how Jimmy Fallon’s late night show is doing, which forces Seth to sit down.
28:29 – Jah wonders if the economic situation with this country is actually as bad as he thinks when he gets these random pangs inside of him.
31:48 – Seth wonders what déjà vu is, and Jah explains that it is while experiencing something, your brain misfires and tries to file something that’s supposed to be in your short-term memory into your long-term memory.
1:00:15 – Seth proposes an idea for buying UYD t-shirts: buy a t-shirt for the person who turned you on to UYD
57:55 – Jah apologizes and tells us one last time that the t-shirts are actually up this time. He claims his job is done, he has handed everything over and it is happening
1:02:26 – Seth wants to know what porn sites Jonathan would recommend, Jah says that girls go to Uporn and guys go to Pornhub. Jah says girls like to J.O. to amateur porn because it actually has the ability to arouse them vs. shitty produced porn.
1:04:14 – Seth is upset that he got dragged down into the mud for announcing the t-shirts, even though it was completely J-dawg’s fault
5:38 – Seth wants to know what’s up with English people and their shitty teeth and bad dental hygiene. Jah explains that they have free public healthcare so people don’t pay for orthodontic work
11:11 – Seth isn’t sure how you establish how two 15-year-olds are in a committed relationship. From his past experience, he would look into a beautiful woman’s eyes and they would have one malted with two straws. Seth: “I don’t know what the kids do now.” Jah: “They cum on their face.”
11:40 – Seth wants to know if it’s “yard sale” or “garage sale.” Jah says “garage sale.” Seth thinks it’s “yard sale” because he didn’t grow up with a garage. Jah throws in “rummage sale” for good measure.
46:18 – Radio ads featuring plumber Mike Diamond say “we guarantee our plumber will show up on time and smell good.” Is Seth to believe that if he thumbed through the Yellow Pages and saw a plumber who didn’t demand such par excellence, will they smell like shit?
52:26 – Jah and Seth are thankful for the influx of t-shirt orders and more are soon to be in stock – both white and black. They weren’t anticipating getting swamped with orders. They thanked everyone who donated to the show as well.
1:05:59 – Jah announces that he’s going to Coachella, and he’s going to put a condom and sunblock on before he goes
4:20 – For their next episode, Episode 164, UYD will be doing a free live show on Saturday, May 2, from 11 p.m. to midnight, at Improv Olympic West, 6366 Hollywood Blvd., at the Andy Dick Black Box Theater. You enter on Cosmo. They have a bar in the lobby, where there will be $3 Pabst Blue Ribbons. There’s no parking anywhere near the place, save for valet, so UYD suggests that you carpool
9:35 – Seth suggests that he and Jah should buy a bar and call it “Uhh Yeah Bar.” It would be more low-key with a patio to smoke, a chill bar and an overall great place to just lamp and discuss sociogeopolitical issues.
11:12 – Jah might be getting sick but that might just be because of the information he gets hit with when discussing news. Seth says that it’s perfect for him to get sick now because he’ll bounce back by the end of the week and be ready to go by Saturday night for the live show.
12:13 – Seth wants to know if Hugh Jackman is bona fide queer. Jah thinks it’s an unfair assumption just because he likes showtunes. Seth thinks it’s official because Jackman is 40 years old and the reigning Sexiest Man Alive, yet his wife is 15 years older than him and their kids are adopted.
16:10 – This week’s show is brought to you by R&D Kitchen
16:33 – Seth wants to know why bands are reissuing old albums but they’re not making new ones. He’s referring specifically to Pearl Jam and their re-release of Ten (1991). Jah doesn’t have a problem with it because he loves the record.
38:26 – Jah missed out on Earth Day Wednesday and thought it was always supposed to fall on a weekend.
1:00:45 – It just hit Seth that the end of this show is near and the next time they do this show it won’t be in the friendly confines of Hobart Blvd., it’ll be on Hollywood Blvd., where dreams are made and broken. They will be amongst friends, which will be a wonderful feeling. They did some pre-pro on the Andy Dick Black Box Theater, and it will be an intimate setting. The first 2 or 3 rows will likely need plastic sheets. One way or another, you’re getting wet. You can’t drink in their theater so you’ll have to do so beforehand.
1:06:12 – Jah updates the UYD t-shirts situation, and says there will probably be some on sale at the show next week.
0:17 and 0:31 – The audience laughter in the background reveals that this is indeed a live UYD show
0:24 – Seth didn’t know if Jah could smoke in the theater so he brought him some Camel Snus for him. The tagline – “Your cigarettes might get jealous.”
1:32 – Jah wonders if everyone can hear them OK, because he finds it ridiculous that they’re holding microphones that aren’t amplified to the people in front of them.
3:56 – Seth asks Jah that if he were one of the states that didn’t have Swine Flu, would they feel like they were left out of the mix? Jah wants to know what Swine Flu is, because he doesn’t think he needs to worry about it. He thinks he had it for 24 hours.
8:34 – Jah hasn’t given any thought to what they’re doing for Prom, but after Seth tells him the theme is Hawaiian leis, Jah says he’s in.
17:58 – Seth wants to know if people use Classmates.com. Jah says no way.
18:31 – This show is brought to you by Facebook.
53:47 – After listing off the other podcasts that are featured on iTunes (Adam Carolla, Prairie Home Companion and Onion News Network) along with UYD, Jah and Seth bump it and get a round of applause.
0:53 – Jah comes in with some crazy voice distortion that repeats 6 times with Seth saying “Hallelujah” toward the end. It finally wraps up at 2:10.
2:21 – Seth and Jah thank everyone who turned out for the live show, and Jah says they had a good time and they’re going to do it again.
13:08 – Seth shares a birthday with Ted Neeley (Sept. 20), who was in the original cast of Hair and was also Jesus Christ Superstar
49:43 – Seth wonders if it’s crazy for colleges to allow co-ed dorm rooms
50:23 – Seth thinks “All Star” by Smashmouth should be UYD’s theme song (Episode 070, 44:18).
52:08 – Jah has a panicked reaction to the picture Seth holds up of the woman who had the face transplant, Connie Culp, who was shot in the face in 2004 by her husband, who also shot himself in the face and lived.
59:46 – Seth’s pit type is not Sensitive, Hairy or Sweaty – he’s going to create his own.
1:01:02 – Last week’s live show was shot with 3-camera Hi-def film and they will be getting footage of it out to UYD nation.
1:03:48 – On iTunes, Seth observed that UYD was featured at No. 4, then slid off the featured list and came back on.
0:14 – The episode kicks off with the winning rendition of the Smashmouth/UYD “All Star.” The lyrics are as follows: Somebody once told me that Jah was gonna school me / Seth has too much stuff in his head / She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb / In the shape of “UYD” on her forehead / Well the stories start coming and they don’t stop coming / Back to the mics and they hit the ground running / Doesn’t make sense so they both make fun / Your brain gets scared and your head gets dumb / So much to say so many peeds / So make sure you don’t take the back streets / You’ll always laugh if you download / You’ll never get sick of this show / Hey now you’re a Podcast, get your talk on, its great / Hey now, have you heard this, put the show on, get laid / And all that’s crazy is told / Only Seth and Jonathan could be so bold / It’s a cool show and it only gets bolder / It’s sitting right now in your iTunes folder / And all the episodes tend to differ / They’ve even had a few that had HD picture / Some stuff’s out, and some stuff’s in / The weather’s getting warm, can you show me the twins? / My world’s gone crazy how about yours / At least with UYD I know I’ll I never get bored / Hey now you’re a Podcast, get your talk on, its great / Hey now, have you heard this, put the show on, get laid / And all that’s crazy is told / Only Seth and Jonathan could be so bold / Somebody once asked Jah to spare some change for gas / He had no pants and crack cocaine on his face / Jah said yep, buddy you bet / You’re legit as far as I can tell / And I’ve got more than just a little change / Well the stories start coming and they don’t stop coming / Back to the mics and they hit the ground running / Doesn’t make sense so they both make fun / Your brain gets scared and your head gets dumb / So much to say so many peeds / So make sure you don’t take the back streets / You’ll always laugh if you download / You’ll never get sick of this show / Hey now you’re a Podcast, get your talk on, its great / Hey now, have you heard this, put the show on, get laid / And all that’s crazy is told / Only Seth and Jonathan could be so bold … Jah can’t keep up with the karaoke machine and fades out by the second verse.
4:28 – Jah is wearing Bugle Boy jeans in the studio right now. Jah used to get panic attacks from the Bugle Boy commercials.
37:35 – Seth wants to know what’s up with all the electronic billboards he’s seeing around time. He saw one that had a picture of a baby with grandparents announcing the birth of their first grandchild. Jah thinks it came out right before the economic crisis, and it was supposed to be featuring cool movies but instead it’s more like public access TV.
47:58 – Jah believes that we are in a phase where shit has totally shifted and changed, and we have moved to a new way of how we see and receive information and entertainment – but we’re still in this nether-region where there are people who have had a job for a long time where they’re giving us something we think we need to see and hear – but there’s no need for them anymore. There’s a dead world hovering around us, but it’s effect has been lessened so much that it doesn’t exist and it’s sort of already over.
1:02:49 – Jah thanks listener John for submitting the Smashmouth lyrics.
1:03:48 – Jah says he’s going to have to with a different t-shirt for XXLs because of the large neckhole
0:29 – Jah asks Seth if, when he pulls up to a gas station and during a transaction asks for $20 on No. 2 and puts in his gas, around what numerical price does the pump come to a grinding halt and trickle out the last 50 cents? Seth doesn’t have patience for that and packs it up. Jah thinks it exists exactly for this purpose, so people will just give it up and leave, giving the gas companies more profit.
8:48 – Seth reads some of the comments that accompany a Peoplemagazine.com report about Jennifer Aniston and Bradley Cooper being an item — Brenda Bilger: Why does everyone want to hook Jennifer up? LOL. Jen will be fine, and she’d make a great mom. Maybe she’ll adopt and give some adorable lucky little one a good home. Maybe that’s God’s plan. Who knows? Good luck on whatever life brings you, Jen. I too went through a divorce. I’m 40, I’m single and I’m happy. You’ll be fine. Believe me. … Jenny Oliva Rados: Jen deserves a good man. She’s such a sweet woman. Some day her prince will come. I’m sure of it. … Debra: I think she should go out with Michael Vartan from Alias. I think they’d make a beautiful couple with beautiful kids. He’s down to earth, loves animals and has his own money. Jen should go for him, he’s so much better than Brad. … Anna: No. I think the perfect man for Jen would be John Stamos. They share Greek heritage. He was born August 19, 1963, which makes him a Leo, she was born February 11, 1969, which makes her an Aquarius. Great match for the two of them. … Sarah: She’ll find her knight in shining armor. Trust. Seth explains that these were only a few of 700 comments left on the website.
16:01 – Jah recommends that UYD listeners rent the documentary Chicken Hawk, about a creepy pedophile and NAMBLA (North American Man Boy Love Association).
24:29 – Jah doesn’t think there’s a single thing that he’s learned in this world that he learned from somebody else.
32:12 – Jonathan references their boy Patrick from Robot Bites Man (Episode 146, 54:24), who interviewed UYD several months ago.
39:43 – Seth wonders if it’s time to update the sexual metaphors with bases in baseball. Jah says that it should be kept in the baseball realm, but first base should be oral – minimum fingering. Seth thinks first base should be above the waist.
1:00:48 – Seth asks about the UYD t-shirts, Jah says there’s a crazy debacle with the companies they’re using. He has to wait for another shipment because they’ll sell out too fast if he puts up what he has now. He promises new graphics on new shirts.
3:37 – Seth’s mother is having a yard sale this weekend and Seth wishes her good luck, even though she’s selling everything for $1.
19:15 – Seth gives a summer warning for people to watch out for peeds in and around ice cream trucks. Jah wonders if anyone else has mobile lunch trucks like they do in L.A. (Korean BBQ, Taco, Vegan, etc.)
1:05:56 – Uhh Yeah Dude has been pinballing around the iTunes rankings. They escalated as high as No. 3 and then fell off the top 15; however, they were up to No. 38 this week for total downloads, which is really high — possibly the highest they’ve been.
6:05 – An Incredible Hulk is 2 shots of Hpnotiq and 2 shots of Hennessy. Jah explains that they taste like human sweat but they get you extremely hammered. Jah technically only had a single, which Seth labels a “Bruce Banner.”
33:17 – UYD T-shirts will be on the website next week. There will be both black and white shirts
35:40 – Jah hasn’t logged into Myspace for a very long time. Every once in a while he begrudgingly logs in because he feels bad that he asked people to go there for so long.
36:15 – Jah isn’t smoking on the show anymore but he has congestion nonetheless
46:00 – The name of Seth’s autobiography is Metabolism for Pornography. Chapter 6 is entitled “UYD.”
46:10 – Seth was watching a funeral in Ohio for a clown that passed away. The pallbearers were all clowns, and everyone standing around the casket were clowns, and it was pretty scary for him watching it.
1:05:17 – UYD continues to bounce around the iTunes rankings, which Seth can’t make much sense of.
1:06:38 – The Integratron is a dome-shaped structure constructed out of plywood and fiberglass by George van Tassel. He built the structure in Landers, Calif., as a “rejuvenation machine,” supposedly following instructions provided by visitors from the planet Venus. Van Tassel was a former aircraft mechanic and flight inspector who moved out to California’s Mojave Desert to operate an airport and inn. During his time there he supposedly began meditating under a giant rock which the Native Americans of the area held to be sacred. In August of 1953 van Tassel claimed that he had been contacted both telepathically and later in person by the Nusians, who gave him the technique to rejuvenate human cell tissues. Van Tassel, acting on these instructions, began constructing the Integratron in 1954. Construction costs were paid for by an annual series of successful UFO conventions, the Giant Rock Spacecraft Conventions, which continued on for nearly 25 years. Van Tassel was clearly inspired by early 1950s contactee George Adamske. Construction was supposedly complete in 1959 but van Tassel continued to make minor modifications until his sudden death in 1978. The Integratron, despite being built without nails, survived a magnitude of 7.3 earthquake in 1992. The workings of the Integratron, according to van Tassel, supposedly rely chiefly on two principles. The principle involves the occult sacred geometry of domes, and their ability to concentrate mystical energies within the earth. The Integratron is also said to be constructed atop a powerful energy vortex. According to adherents of this belief, the dome shape naturally concentrates the energy of the vortex for the benefit of users. Also, the building is said to borrow design cues from the Tabernacle of Moses and the King’s Chamber of the Great Pyramid of Giza – both of which were thought by some occultists to have similar energy-focusing properties. The second part of the theory centers around the belief that human beings are truly electrical in nature. It is believed that though each individual has a unique personal wavelength, the multiple wavelengths of energy put out by “focusing and concentrating devices” such as the Integratron will find a resonance with individuals’ basic harmonic frequency and recharge his cellular structure as if he were a battery. After Van Tassel died there was a proposal to turn the Integratron into a disco but these plans were never realized. The new owners now operate it as a tourist attraction, allow scientific studies of the structure and promote the unusual practice of a “sound bath.” During a sound bath groups of people are exposed to harmonic sound frequencies produced by quartz bowls. This is said to have a deep calming effect. The Integratron website claims it is the only all-wood acoustically perfect sound chamber in the U.S.
0:58 – UYD is coming to us on battery power.
4:13 – Seth saw a picture of his good friend Barack Obama on Air Force One with a cell phone in a holster on his belt.
5:24 – Jah tells us that both black and white t-shirts are at the printers as we speak
38:56 – Jah brings up the act of using a loved one’s ashes to make a tattoo in the likeness of the person (Episode 040, 46:44). Jah pledges to get one made of Seth when he dies.
58:01 – In order to get t-shirts, you have to go to uhhyeahdude.com. Jah will possibly force buyers to join the forums in order to order them, because he wants people there in case he wants to contact people.
59:51 – Jah wonders if Seth has ever had sex in a gym, but he says no. He’d do it in a tanning bed though.
0:56 – Seth can’t believe it’s already June 19 and wonders where the year has gone
19:13 – UYD is getting reports back from agents in the field of Jamie Foxx showing up in people’s laundry baskets, garage door openers and the Matrix. He is you and you are he.
25:47 – Jah and Seth went to a guy named Winter’s website, who has documented his visits to 9,094 Starbucks locations internationally (8,430 in North America). Jah was familiar with basically every one Winter had visited in greater Los Angeles.
52:53 – Seth throws out a disclaimer for the 98% of UYD listeners who aren’t vegetarians for going off on Jonathan for giving it up so casually. Seth just equates it to claiming you simply jerked off a dude last week.
57:26 – Jah explains the concept of “sharking” – a fad of people in Japan, where dudes jerk off and right before they ejaculate they run up to a stranger at a bus stop and splooge in their faces.
1:00:46 – Jonathan thinks aliens live among us. He thinks here is there.
1:02:40 – Jah allows Seth to give a t-shirt update. They are being delivered tomorrow and they can start taking orders on them soon. Jah just wants to take pictures of them so he can have them up on the website. He says there’s exclusively girls’ sizes and then on up from there. Jah is super stoked about the product they have, and Seth promises that everyone who wants a T shall have a T.
1:04:48 – Seth wonders if he should try fish (not Phish). Jah thinks maybe, in certain circumstances. Jah thinks he may have to do more research on where the fish is coming from, etc.
32:15 – Jah wonders how long before Pizza Hut changes its name to “Da Hut,” and Seth thinks it will eventually be “Da Butt.” (Episode 032, 45:08)
57:53 – Jah plugs the new t-shirts again. They’re so soft and comfortable and people love them.
1:08:31 – Jah ends the show with a joke: Do you know what Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson have in common? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson likes to fuck little boys.
19:42 – Jonathan references Google ads through Gmail (Episode 157, 11:46).
20:00 – Jonathan references digiscrapping (Episode 008, 29:23; Episode 028, 7:27).
33:24 – Seth saw a commercial for Ore Ida crispy fries, and the motif of the ad was “Stand and Deliver.” One person is holding an extra crispy Ore Ida French fry that is fully erect with ketchup on the tip and ready to be eaten. The other guy is holding his drippy, tiny uncircumcised French fry.
43:39 – Seth and Jah string a bunch of herda-hatta-herdas together.
47:58 – Seth drives a 1993 Plymouth Sundance and he wants nothing more than a Marauder with tinted windows.
1:03:53 – If you go to the website, there’s a new button called “Media,” which is a new offering. There’s an 18-minute long video of things Seth recorded on his home VCR. Jah pledges new t-shirt designs as well.
0:38 – There have been a lot of tech issues this week, with listeners being unable to download the last couple episodes. As of last check, Jah declares that the episodes are downloading fine. He also says that people are getting the new shipment of t-shirts.
8:27 – Seth wants to know what happened to Craig Kilborn. The last time Jah saw him was in Old School, which he accidentally refers to as Knocked Up. Jah thinks he’s an asshole and that’s why he hasn’t gotten any work.
20:59 – Seth says UYD is thinking about doing a live show in Brooklyn, N.Y., in August, but if they’re going to do it they need a head count on how many bodies will be there. Those interested in seeing the live show in Brooklyn need to call the UYD voicemail (888-842-2357) and express interest.
22:12 – Jah and Seth dip back into the UYD tech issues. Amir couldn’t download 172 or 173 and called Jah to complain, yet Seth got a hundred voicemails saying they loved the show. Seth also plugs the 18-minute montage video that he created that was put up under the “Media” tab on the website.
23:47 – UYD busted out on iTunes this week and before Seth knew it, they were getting phone calls telling them they were the 19th-most downloaded comedy podcast.
1:06:34 – UYD t-shirts are so soft. Grown men are wearing them and sending proof of it via photos to Jah.
1:32 – Seth has apparently been watching some Goodfellas because he starts talking like an East Coast Italian.
19:46 – Seth references his childhood friend, Peter Martellucci (Episode 037, 41:31; Episode 106, 33:58; Episode 131, 13:42).
20:34 – Last week Seth requested people to call the voicemail to gauge how many people could come to an East Coast show in August, and they got several calls. Those who haven’t called should continue to call and express their interest.
22:04 – Jah said the UYD tech issues should be all cleared up, now that all the audio hosting is going through uhhyeahdude.com. Jah profusely thanks Tavis and Nick for getting this up and running.
39:59 – Jah wants to get back to brass tacks and asks if jerking off to porn is cheating on a significant other. Seth thinks so. Jah thinks all bets are off if the female is in the room with them and approves of it. Jah is willing to accept it if he entered into a relationship and the girl didn’t want him to look at porn because it’s cheating.
1:01:38 – Seth says that obviously if UYD had the resources it would do shows in Philly, Chicago, D.C., Boston, etc. In the meantime they’re trying their best.
1:02:50 – Computer security expert Tadayoshi Kohno of the University of Washington published a paper in the July issue of Neurosurgical Focus that questions if steps need to be taken for the future possibility of hackers someday being able to take over other people’s brains, because researchers have developed technology that makes it possible to use thoughts to operate computers, wheelchairs, etc., at basic introductory levels. As neural devices become more complicated and as scientific research develops these systems to become more specific, dynamic and ultimately wireless, brain hackers need to be taken more seriously. These neuralcentric devices are innovating at such a rapid rate that hackers could eventually commandeer deep brain stimulators or electrode systems. As with all tech, bugs or malfunctions are always going to be present, and hackers will always be able to distinguish and then misuse or abuse these miniscule little mistakes.
3:02 – If you’re still having technical issues with CFISD, Jah doesn’t know what else to say except they’re getting fewer and farther between
7:31 – Last week Jah asked Seth what kind of soy yogurt he was eating, and Jah wondered if it was Stonyfield Farm. Seth didn’t know at the time but this week reveals that it’s Whole Soy, cherry flavor.
8:08 – Seth wonders if Jah has ever heard of the band The Tragically Hip. Supposedly they’re the biggest band ever from Canada and Seth can’t believe he hasn’t heard of them if that’s true.
23:36 – Seth recalls when UYD tried to register for pickup lines and they signed Jah up for a monthly charge but never sent him one (Episode 093, 1:23, Episode 094, 1:01:44). Jah says the only pickup line that works is just going straight in and introducing yourself. Otherwise you better know something awesome about whatever they’re looking at or doing or buying, which means you need to listen to UYD because they know everything awesome about everything. Then you’re in. Dudes have figured it out who have been listening to UYD for three years.
45:41 – UYD is still figuring things out for an August or September show in New York City.
56:02 – Seth is curious about the user comments that appear under news stories on the internet, and how some commenter tries to make a connection to a person or place mentioned in the local story. He recalls one dude posting that Kurt Wild messed his sandwich up when he was researching the Subway story (Episode 132, 29:01).
1:00:19 – Seth wonders if he’s the only person left in this country that leaves voicemail messages. Jah thinks you can call your cell phone provider and get voicemail removed from your plan, even though it’s hard to do. Jah says people leave horrific messages nowadays, whereas Seth leaves detailed messages. Seth leaves messages for people, and they’ll just hit him back with a call without checking the message to see what he was calling about.
4:39 – Jah brings up a topic that means a lot to a lot of people in his life right now – polyamorous lifestyles. It’s ethical non-monogamy, devotees engaging in intimate relationships with more than one person simultaneously. It is based on knowledge and consent of all parties involved. The movement includes recently published books, local get-togethers, poly podcasts and an online magazine called Loving More. Jah claims that this doesn’t work – you can have deep meaningful relationships while maintaining other ones but at a certain point, it becomes too hard to not turn the creep corner.
39:19 – Seth asks Jah if he’s ever heard of eating Vaseline for a sore throat.
1:09:51 – Jah understands that all Skittles are now gelatin free and don’t have ground-up calves hoofs in them. He can now eat them again as a good vegetarian.
1:10:42 – UYD will have definitive details by next week regarding their New York live show.
1:12 – Seth wishes Jonathan a happy 32nd birthday
24:30 – UYD announces their upcoming live show in New York, at the Public Assembly in the Williamsburg section of Brooklyn on Saturday, Oct. 17.
31:57 – Jah is chewing Dentyne Ice, and we can hear the crinkling of the wrapper.
43:01 – DayWannaCumAlot is Jonathan’s Native American name
48:22 – Brinks Home Security is now Broadview, and they have a shitty new commercial on to introduce it, showing a guy sitting in his Chevy Cobalt and then going apeshit, kicking down a door, etc.
54:46 – Jah reads an ad about Southern California’s Premiere 3D/4D Fetal Ultrasound Experience. The slogan is “Here’s Looking at You, Baby.” If you bring the ad in when you get your ultrasound, you get a free tote bag with your ultrasound image on it.
1:04:32 – Seth wonders why people put emphasis on the wrong syllable when they say things: “I was watching the TV,” “I went to eat at Taco Bell,” etc. (Episode 016, 34:13).
1:05:36 – Seth once again plugs the live UYD show at Public Assembly in Brooklyn, N.Y. on Oct. 17.
1:06:06 – Jah promises new t-shirts coming through and some new designs as well.
4:06 – Jah references the Pepsi Jazz ad (Episode 034, 0:26).
5:52 – Jah knows how a sitcom work week works, because he’s a lot kid (Episode 066, 13:41).
10:37 – Jah wonders if Seth has noticed that he’s using a new microphone right now. Seth says it looks great, but he’s not jealous because he loves his own mic so much.
39:00 – Jah says he’s never done a self-portrait photo, then corrects himself and says he has – but not in public. Seth insists Jah has done it in public or at least in an alley.
42:56 – Seth wants to start a new segment called Jonathan’s Tweets
44:39 – Seth is surprised that Obama is still alive, shooting hoops at the White House.
58:33 – Jah plugs their live show on Oct. 17 in Brooklyn’s Public Assembly. If you are traveling, need to see the show and need to guarantee entry into it, do so via the link next to the airplane on the website. While Jah is telling this he wonders how his balls and cock look in their “moose knuckle” form right now.
1:04:00 – Jah says they talked a few weeks ago about the girl who stabbed her boyfriend who was jerking off to porn on the couch, which sparked a debate on the forums about whether or not that’s cheating. Jah says that in a relationship, there may be some merit to having the only porn being viewed done so mutually. Doing it in secret is more shady because it causes mad problems in people’s relationships.
1:22 – Seth says it’s incredibly hot in the studio right now
8:29 – Seth is creeped out by the Avatar trailer, but he figured J-dawg would be down with it.
22:10 – Jah asks Seth how many people he knows who still steal cable. Seth doesn’t know anyone but Jah says it’s still fully do-able. Seth says it’s OK if you do it from Time Warner, which Jah and Seth both declare the “worst company ever.”
22:30 – Jah received notification that AT&T has full service at Burning Man (Episode 012, 53:20, Episode 081, 19:58). Seth says Burning Man has its own post office as well. There are daily flights in and out of San Francisco going to Burning Man.
43:26 – Jah says he is sweating more than he has in this apartment ever. He wonders if it happens every year, Seth confirms this.
44:18 – Seth plugs the live show on Oct. 17 in Brooklyn’s Public Assembly. If you plan on going, please RSVP via the UYD website. Jah says this is because they’re not selling tickets and they’re keeping it gangster. Since there will be free alcohol at the show, it will be a 21-and-over ONLY show. There was nothing they could do about that because it is being sponsored by myopenbar.com. However, Jah says if underage people will be in the area, they will try to accommodate them in any way they can.
58:08 – Phrases typed into some type of a search engine where UhhYeahDude.com became the final destination: LABlowjobStories.blogspot.com … Oh so tough economic times … Holla back for a dope cock … Yo dog, you dead dog … Bruce cocked … Boner rage … Leaky boners … Fat Val Kilmer … Lesbiamis … Herda hatta herda … Cum on a bible … Fucking a warm melon … The white man calls her flute playing wind … Cold Stone forearms … Jesus Christ walks into a bar … Mystic Tan panic attacks … Teens getting fucked in their sleep … Who shouldn’t take ecstacy? … Wife not interested in cock.
1:03:01 – Seth marvels at Episode 181 being a palindrome. He was the Class of 1991 and he remembers learning that during an assembly.
1:05:00 – Seth tells listeners that if they happen to call the UYD voicemail, not to do it while driving with the windows down and yelling numbers with sirens wailing in the background.
0:49 – This episode of Uhh Yeah Dude is brought to you by AdamandEve.com. If you go there you will get 50% off every item in the mix. This is an adult website, a distributor of adult themed products. If you type in UYD in the offer code when you check out, you’ll get several free items. Seth calls it a UYDildo. Jah believes he beat off to a couple Adam and Eve catalogs when he was younger.
4:07 – Seth: “Trying to explain what Burning Man is to someone who has never been to the event is a bit like trying to explain what a particular color looks like to someone who is blind.” (Episode 012, 53:20) … Jah says he was supposed to leave tonight to go out to Burning Man.
12:10 – Times used to be different – if you were in trouble you’d grab a cop or a mailman. You can’t even grab a security guard because they’re convicted felons. Jah thinks you have to grab a Guardian Angel with a red beret and boots.
34:32 – Jah thinks he needs to go back to school in some capacity. There’s so much he’s interested in that he’s not smart enough to do on his own. Seth thinks this would never happen because some girl would look at him during class and 10 minutes later he’d be in her dorm room boning down and talking about vegan sauerkraut.
35:47 – Seth has been doing a lot of thinking. He says basically any boy from age 7 or 8 to about age 17 is going to kill him. He sees kids in Jamba Juice and can tell they don’t like him. Jah says “they love me.” Seth wonders if the reverse is true for females, and Jah says older females are looking to the young girls for fashion tips, but they simultaneously want to eradicate all of them.
38:59 – Seth plugs the live show in Brooklyn, N.Y., in Public Assembly on Saturday, Oct. 17. Jah encourages people to RSVP and look for a response e-mail.
43:39 – UYD again plugs AdamandEve.com. Jah saw some prostate massagers in there that looked pretty aggressive.
1:50 – This episode of UYD is sponsored by AdamandEve.com and there is a banner ad for it on the homepage. Seth wanted to contact Adam and Eve to find something slightly more tasteful so that when their parents logged on the website they wouldn’t see a vag and ass staring them in the face. … If you type in UYD in your checkout code you get 50% off any item. … Jah says that the combo of the banner ad and the UYD slogans refreshing atop it were pretty much awesome.
19:26 – Jah says UYD nation has people pledging as they speak. He’s been getting texts about it. Seth warns people not to do stupid shit.
21:05 – This Sunday, the 20th is Seth’s birthday. Seth wants to know if he’s shaving off 7 years or 5 years. Seth says it’s 7 for him and 5 for Jah, so he’s turning 29 this Sunday.
25:01 – Jah is wearing an Oxford University t-shirt. Sometimes he gets asked if he went there and once he said yes.
27:57 – Jah wants to know what’s up with young girls working in places like Jamba Juice, Cold Stone, etc. with cuts on their arms.
32:02 – UYD plugs their live show on Oct. 17 at Public Assembly in Brooklyn, NY.
41:55 – Seth has a question about wedding rings: Is a wedding ring a traditional thing that says “I’m in love with my husband and I’m sharing my life with him,” or is it a “Back off jackoff” indicator in public. Seth then wonders if attractive young women would put on a ring just to keep creepy dudes away from them.
53:25 – Neither Jonathan nor Seth have ever had a manicure or pedicure.
59:38 – Seth says Jonathan would be a wonderful father, but Jah thinks he’d be crazy.
1:08 – Jah does his aggro announcing voice that talks about “raw, nocturnal comocedy.”
1:55 – Jah plugs their September sponsor, AdamandEve.com, and the promo code “UYD” that gives you half off and 3 free DVDs when you place their order. Jah and Seth think the ad banner on their homepage is a little more tasteful now.
5:00 – Yo mane, hol’ up, I got too much lean in my cup (Episode 025, 36:18)
31:16 – Jah don’t know much (Episode 067, 21:32; Episode 073, 36:02; Episode 129, 59:15; Episode 137, 4:04 and 1:06:18; and Episode 138, 34:36).
52:12 – Seth plugs UYD’s live show on Oct. 17 at Public Assembly in Brooklyn, N.Y.
55:28 – Seth plugs the “Media” link from the UYD website, which now features a second volume of video compilations recorded by Seth and edited by 55inch.
1:03:11 – Seth says “I’m comin’ for you, Corolla!,” indicating that Uhh Yeah Dude is going to overtake Adam Corolla as #1 Comedy Podcast on iTunes. Seth says that Romatelli is a way better Italian name than Corolla, which is faux Italian.
1:04:55 – Seth wonders when Jah is going to get his UYD tattoo, and Jah isn’t sure about it.
1:11 – Jah does his shock jock voice that Seth has been dreaming about since he was a young boy
2:01 – This episode of Uhh Yeah Dude is being brought to you by AdamandEve.com – safe, secure and intimate
4:31 – Seth talks about his extensive training regime by using some crazy big words
5:38 – Halloween is coming on a Saturday night, which could be right.
30:03 – Jah plugs the live show in Brooklyn on Oct. 17 at Public Assembly
32:28 – Seth says he got some positive feedback on Volume 2 of the 25-minute psychotic montage that has been posted in the “Media” section of the website. Jah says there has been one complaint that Volume 1 is no longer there.
35:41 – Seth’s current issue of Playboy, October 2009, has a study called “The College Sex Survey.” 41% of college students know someone who has hooked up with either a professor or a teacher’s assistant.
50:22 – Jah has 2 cigarettes, a Lucky and another one. He asks Seth which one he should smoke first, and Seth says he should smoke the Lucky cigarette now.
1:01:04 – Seth understands the UYD voicemail greeting says “2006 for life,” which he finds comforting, quaint and soothing to hear that. Some listeners decide to really let Seth know what year it is in their messages. Jonathan says that all the texts he receives are like getting Twittered in the face.
0:33 – Seth says “TGIF” because UYD is uncharacteristically recording the show on a Friday instead of a Thursday
0:41 – Seth asks Jonathan to let the listeners know that it’s “Rocktober” in his shock jock voice.
1:20 – UYD is bringing some serious Cali heat in October to a place called Brooklyn. Seth doesn’t mind if it’s cold out there, he just doesn’t want it to rain on his hair. That’s why he lives in the desert.
2:01 – This episode is being brought to you by AdamandEve.com.
3:23 – In regards to the live show in NYC, Jah says the RSVP list is officially closed.
19:05 – Jah recalls the 1993 movie Six Degrees of Separation with a fresh version of Will Smith
19:41 – Speaking of Will Smith, Jah was thinking about something: What if he was exactly who he is, but he was a big, big black dude? Seth thinks Jah would be the president of something. He thinks he would be rowdier since he would be huge and black. Seth wonders what the equivalent would be for himself, and Jah said it would be if Seth was a woman named Beth.
33:40 – Seth wonders if he mentioned not to fuck Brazilian dudes. Jah says Brazilian girls are also included in that because they all used to be dudes. Seth has heard from 15 different girls who hooked up with Brazilian dudes, end up with a child and the dude is back in Rio three months later. Jah says they bone down like crazy because they’re wicked good at it.
39:02 – Jah says he has an LRAD right here in his pants, his own little sound cannon
1:05:17 – Jah does an impersonation of rewinding through an episode of UYD, and it’s awesome.
1:09:12 – Jah recalls his cyberskin esophagus that he bought and that his maid discovered (Episode 088, 19:26)
0:26 – This is Episode number 1-8-7, the California penal code for murder
6:37 – Seth talks about the new Broadview Security commercial (Episode 179, 48:22). It starts off with people leaving what looks to have been an elegant house party. It’s early evening. The attractive female host thanks everyone for leaving. One handsome younger dude lingers on the porch, and she says, “It was really nice to meet you, A.J.” (Jah thinks it stands for Aaron Jacobson.) Her girlfriends are in the driveway mouthing, “He’s so hot!” and the girl mouths back, “I know!” The woman walks into the house and begins cleaning up, and she hears a noise and it’s A.J. in the doorway. He bashes in the window, she books it in and calls Mike at Broadview Security. Nothing to worry about now!
23:24 – Episode 188 will be Friday, Oct. 17, live in the Williamsburg section of Brooklyn N.Y. at a venue called Public Assembly. Seth says it’s very overwhelming and very exciting and he thanks everyone for everything. Seth wants people to get there early and seek them out. Seth is the one who is not Jonathan.
36:29 – Jah can’t figure out why he is stumbling over his words so much. Seth hopes Jah is on point during the live New York show. Seth wonders what will happen if Jah is garbling everything and Seth has a full panny.
55:35 – Seth just handed Jah something to read and he doesn’t know what it is. He finally reads this warning to listeners: “In my experience, car wash employees in their haste sometimes do not reinsert the clips or holes on floormats of cars.” What happens is that, by putting your feet on them it rips the holes and your feet will slide up, or it will jam up the brake or accelerator.
58:36 – Seth talks about the Podcast Awards, recognizing excellence in the podcast field. He asks listeners to go to the UYD website and follow the link to the Podcast Awards, then vote for UYD for Best Comedy Podcast. There is no Dancecast category yet, which is why UYD wants to win – so they can establish that category next year.
0:01 – The live crowd chants “UYD! UYD!” to open the episode
0:38 – Jah is blown away by the warm reception they are getting at Brooklyn’s Public Assembly
1:04 – Jah forewarns the ladies in the room that there are a gang of horned-up dudes in the close-quarters club
1:23 – Seth finally chimes in and Jah is forced to acknowledge him to the crowd
2:16 – Jah says he’s going to have a heart attack and the crowd needs to give him a second to catch his breath. Seth says he wants people to hang around for a while afterward to say hello to people
4:55 – Seth reminds everyone that it’s National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Jah tells people to get mammograms and that further explanation is necessary.
6:35 – People in the back can’t hear J-dawg and Seth as well, so they apologize and Jah tells Seth to face Jah a little more so they can talk more directly to each other.
12:02 – Seth says he used to come to this place when it was Galapagos back in the ‘80s. He’s seen a lot of things here.
14:47 – There’s a new Broadview commercial on (Episode 179, 48:22; Episode 187, 6:37). There’s a dude in full camo looking through a hole in the fence at a mother and daughter kicking a soccer ball in the backyard. He runs in and kicks in the side door of the house
24:23 – Seth thinks he finally has a reason to cancel his Playboy subscription because Marge Simpson was on the cover. He’s back in, however, because Tara Reid is going to pose in it.
29:16 – Jah gives a shout-out to Seth’s mom and dad, who are in attendance for the live show.
40:52 – Seth got his tickets for the Michael Jackson movie at the CineramaDome. He’s wondering how crazy it will get there.
42:31 – Jah has everyone simultaneously yell the state or town they’re from on the count of 3
2:56 – Seth and Jah thank all the listeners for the fun live show in Brooklyn last week.
27:37 – Seth wants to know if women carry condoms on them. Jah replies, “Not unless they’re whores.” Jah thinks that even dudes shouldn’t carry them with him because it’s too presumptuous. But both men and women should keep condoms at home in their medicine cabinets, etc.
54:44 – Jah’s not sure what he’s going as for Halloween. Seth doesn’t feel comfortable dressing up.
1:01:03 – Jah gives a quick merch plug. They had awesome stuff available for the show in Brooklyn and some of them will be available in the website. Stickers will also be available in those shipments. The posters will be available as well, and they glow in the dark.
1:03:54 – UYD is coming in on 200 episodes, which feels weird to Jah
5:50 – It smells good in the studio. Seth has ginger peach candles in the living room, a Tahitian vanilla candle in his bedroom. For having such a great smelling crib, Jah hands Seth a frienjamin (Episode 141, 1:18).
16:52 – Jah was talking to somebody the other day about Twitter. He hypothesizes that regarding Twats that Twitter (douchebags), you could call what they do “Tweefing.”
54:06 – Before they did the live show in Brooklyn, Seth and Jonathan did an interview with a girl for the Greenpoint Gazette (greenpointgazette.com).
55:06 – Jah says that there will be new t-shirts and posters available soon in the Merch section of the website.
17:16 – Jah reminisces on curbside check-in as if it doesn’t exist anymore. But it does.
28:54 – Seth and Jah want to start an old-timey gas station in the heart of Hollywood. They’ll get out-of-work sitcom actors to work there and shoot it as a reality show.
47:37 – Jah and Seth start to get trippy. Jah talks about how arbitrary the sequence of events in our daily lives is. Seth ponders about dreaming, and how sick and crazy it is that you create the way people look and what they say. He’s been having a lot of specific and vivid dreams that err on the side of mildly uncomfortable. They’re not night terrors (Episode 033, 48:25). Seth thinks that he’s making up the dialogue of the dream in his brain, but Jah doesn’t agree with that part. His dreams don’t feel as if they are his own manifestations. He has no well from which to draw the things he is conjuring. He knows he has a lot of crazy things within him but he thinks these other entities come to him from outside, and commingles in his realm that he’s cognizant of. Jah is sincerely worried about 2012; he thinks it’s for real while Seth thinks it’s Y2K bullshit. Jah explains that, assuming we’re children of God created in his image, we create things in our world the way God created the world we live in. When you look at our forms of communication that we create right now, there are things that are at the peak of our technology, yet others that are completely arcane (telephone) that are still completely useful and valid. He believes there are arcane versions of galactic communication. (At this point Seth nearly bursts out laughing. He’s not there yet, but there are 500 more episodes to go, so maybe he will get there.)
58:37 – Jonathan thinks that entertainment and the way we digest it should be on a sliding scale. You should be able to pay what you want for things, like the new Radiohead record.
1:00:21 – Jah says there’s still a handful of UYD posters available through the Merch store on the UYD website, as well as a handful of tie-dye and prism logo t-shirts. Listeners rocked it this week with the sales.
1:01:35 – Jah got sent pictures of people burning CDs this week that they were going to hand to people.
1:02:32 – Jah circles back to his trippy diatribe about dreams. He talks about all the expressions we have within us, like when he was at the Phish show last weekend and thought about his musical life, etc. It feels like a dark time for the path that people are walking right now, while there seems to be an increase with people having more vivid dreams and communication within the inner parts of themselves. He says if they’re sitting somewhere doing Episode 3059 and realizing time is a crazy mobia strip, they will be a part of themselves back here .
1:04:35 – Seth says that UYD will be coming up on some milestones, 4 years and 200 episodes. Jah says it just comes down to doing your shit and moving on. Seth disagrees, and says that the idea of anyone taking any stock in 2012 is ridiculous. It’s a day in the life for all of us, there’s good things and bad things and we’re on an epic journey just to get through the day. It’s been that way forever and it will be forever, and it’s the best thing. Maybe aliens come and maybe they don’t, but people can just get through today. Seth says “It does what it does,” and Jah says, “Then you put a gun in your mouth.”
26:10 – Jonathan’s father will be performing at the Pantages Theatre in Los Angeles, Calif., in the holiday classic “How The Grinch Stole Christmas,” performing the role of Old Max.
27:37 – Seth loves Christmas, and the feeling of the holiday season. It makes him feel very warm and very open, with the endless possibilities of life and love. But those feelings end on the 26th.
41:17 – Seth and Jonathan can’t believe 2010 is right here upon us.
0:48 – Jah says they’ve never said hello to each other in a foreign language before on the show, then proceeds to try doing exactly that.
25:42 – New Kay Jewelers commercial features a couple at a mountain retreat. She jumps into his arms during the thunder and lightning. He says, “I’m right here, and I always will be,” then busts a ring in her face, then, “Don’t let go. Ever.” Jah then finishes it with the ideal ending to that commercial: “Every Kiss Begins with Kay,” and an Aaron Neville rendition.
33:29 – Jonathan belches loudly into the microphone, then immediately apologizes for bringing a complete halt to the show.
36:26 – Although Seth laments how he used to be awesome, Jah gives him a break because sneaking into concerts shirtless is a sad look on a 40-year-old man. Jah then ponders how much longer he can get away with the look he is currently boasting. Seth says three or four more years.
40:28 – Seth says not to hate on the Zunes – UYD always talks about lots of different ways to access the show and don’t mention the Zune Marketplace – which some listeners have complained about.
0:55 – Jah gives us a Christian side hug
11:43 – Jah heard that in France, “LOL” has been incorporated into common chat, where they will actually say it in face-to-face conversation rather than typing it.
52:24 – Seth recalls how Jah told him about the gas station trickling off a few more pennies on everybody and thereby making a billion dollars (Episode 167, 0:29). Jah says he’s had a couple experiences with gas pumps since then. He found one pump that doesn’t do it at a couple newly renovated places. However, he went to another newly renovated Chevron where rather than slow down 4 cents or 10 cents before, it pops up like it was full. Jah went to take it out, turned and there was 7 more cents in there, then it trickled out. It tries to get you to give up.
1:06:21 – It’s just officially past midnight so Jah wants to officially say Happy Thanksgiving to Seth and all UYD listeners.
2:39 – Jah mixes it up by singing a Ben Bridge Jewelers tune instead of Kay
23:55 – UYD is closing in on #200, and they’re not sure what they’re going to do for the extravaganza.
40:37 – Jah sings “We don’t need another language.” (Episode 073, 0:43).
1:00:38 – Jogger is playing two shows over the Christmas holidays – in Chicago on Dec. 30 and in Denver with R2D2 and Daedelus on New Year’s Eve at City Hall.
0:49 – Seth’s iBook G4 is running about 97% right now – a good charge
1:02 – The decade is ending and we don’t really have a name for the coming decade we’re about to enter. Jah thinks it should be the “X’s” or the “Teens” or “Two-thousand X”
20:53 – Jah sings “We Don’t Need Another Hero.” (Episode 073, 0:43; Episode 097, 1:00:56)
25:32 – Seth harkens back to when he got to hear Sean Connery say “Queen Latifah” at the Academy Awards (Episode 099, 17:20). Seth tries to picture the Larroquettes going out to dinner with Ice-T and Coco.
35:53 – Jah wants Facebook to stop sending him notifications about how they’re changing privacy policies because it’s spooking him. He thinks it’s crazy that Google is scanning Twitter accounts to see if a popular user has referenced whatever words you’re searching for. Because of this Jah’s father might dip out of Twitter.
8:23 – If there was going to be a third member of UYD, Seth thinks it would probably be Kobe Teeth.
23:25 – Jah thinks men need to just cut the shit when it comes to thinking that women are stupid in regards to the things that they think they’re stupid about. Jah concurs that they’re stupid about certain things, but not things men think they are. Jah think men were bad back in the 70s too but it was more of a traditional structure that created its own kind of happiness.
28:09 – Jah asks Seth to take him to outer space, and Seth proceeds to play Galaga sound effects.
42:32 – UYD stockings are on sale via the website, as is a tote bag and a caribiner.
1:01:04 – Seth gives a toned-down, drawn-out “Sssssmokin.”
1:01:40 – Jah thinks that it is some couple’s fault for breaking up when they weren’t supposed to that threw the entire celebrity dating fractal so out of whack. Seth thinks it was the Ben Affleck/Jennifer Lopez break-up that did it. Jah calls them “Jaffleck,” and Seth makes fun of this. Seth doesn’t buy the Affleck/Garner relationship and he wants “Bennifer” back.
1:07:35 – Seth received calls from listeners who said Episode 196 cut off at the end. Jah has a fixed version of that which he says he will upload soon.
1:08:12 – Jah apologizes for a small buzzing noise that’s been going on for the last couple episodes, and he says he needs to fix it soon.
36:51 – Seth wishes the Cowboys good luck tonight.
37:10 – Jah hypothesizes that everybody’s a car dealer now. All this nickel-and-dime BS used to be relegated to the used car lot, but now everyone with a nametag is trying to hustle us. And they’re so dumb that they just go along with it blindly and don’t question their own intentions.
53:19 – Jah wonders what’s up with Brad and Angelina. Seth says more than likely he heard Episode 197 and heard them talking about Jackalope and how when they broke up the world ended. It got Pitt thinking to how Angelina is not a soulmate. Seth doesn’t think they were met for each other. He thinks there’s another woman out there that we already know that should be with him. Seth ventures a guess: Zoe Saldana.
58:23 – Jah promises that the UYD Merch Store has some dope shit coming from their boy Bennett Grizzard, who did the Brooklyn flyer, and John Smith, who did the glow-in the-dark posters from the Brooklyn show.
59:40 – Seth wishes everyone a Happy New Year and Merry Christmas as well. It’s essentially 2010. Jah can’t believe he’ll be in Denver for New Year’s.
1:19 – Seth comments on how it’s weird to be recording their show on a Saturday night
1:54 – Jah wishes Seth a Happy New Year
15:56 – Jah has a theory that Tiger Woods is dead, which is why we haven’t seen him in public since his Thanksgiving domestic dispute.
27:06 – Seth asks if Angelina Jolie would leave Brad Pitt for Jah. Jah is flabbergasted at this question.
1:00:07 – Seth says they’re not sure what they’re going to do about Episode 200.
2:29 – Seth marvels that they’ve made it to 200 episodes. They had a dream, and they made that dream a reality.
2:37 – Several listeners told Seth that he needed to live up to his promise that he made in Episode 100 (21:25) that he would do a moonwalk this episode, but he says he has an out since the King of Pop died and this is not a vidcast.
58:46 – Although it’s Episode 200, Seth doesn’t want to get too excited. When they get to Episode 300, that’s when the real party is going to be.
1:02:42 – Seth says that after 200 episodes, there are a lot of people to thank. He and J-Dawg appreciate all the people who have worked so hard for UYD to be able to continue to do it.
0:27 – Jah wishes they were recording this episode with video because Seth gave him a crazy look with his eyes.
8:03 – Jah says Seth needs a high-speed dubbing USB VCR so he could upload all the gobs of videotapes he has stuff recorded on.
15:19 – Seth wants to customize his sex robot to look like Haley Joel Osment from the movie AI
52:18 – Seth wants to know what the fuck is going on. Jah indicates that it all went wrong when Gus Van Sant shot Psycho shot-for-shot starring Vince Vaughn.
20:58 – Seth declares that next month, February, Jonathan will be going on tour with Jogger, except UYD will be having shows each week during the month.
52:07 – Jah gives big ups to the Peace Corps because there are UYD listeners who are in it as we speak.
57:54 – Jah references himself mispronouncing Patrón (Episode 031, 23:14).
59:09 – iTunes prominently featured UYD alongside other amazing podcasts such as New Yorker Fiction, Market Watch from Dow Jones, etc.
1:00:08 – Jah plugs some Merch stuff – new totes are available in black and purple with the prism logo, and new gray hairy logo shirts are available and restocked.
19:39 – Jah hated fax machines, but Seth still likes them. He likes what they do. He thinks they’re still efficient in terms of calling someone about a magazine article, then seconds later they’re looking at the exact same thing once you fax it to them.
58:47 – Seth thinks UYD had more voicemails than they’ve ever gotten this week 1:00:00 – Seth reminds listeners that in February, Jah will go on tour with Amir Yaghmai and their musical outfit, Jogger. Their tour dates are listed on their Myspace page. Although Jah won’t be in town, they will be posting fresh new episodes.
1:01:12 – Seth previously asked people to get some sleep (Episode 202, 1:04:06). He now has another good idea – changing or washing your sheets, which feels so comforting.
1:28 – It’s tax season, so this is the time of year Seth likes to remind listeners to get on it and not sleep on it, then realize it’s April 15. He says to do it legally, because your friend who does it doesn’t really do it.
4:27 – Seth thinks he has asked this before, but he wonders if medical supply stores – which are basically an empty room, a folded-up wheelchair leaned against the wall and a crutch in a sling with an open floorplan – are fraudulent business fronts used for laundering money or peddling drugs.
54:15 – Jah asks Seth to make a wish since it’s 2:22, but Seth blows it by saying he wished for the continued health of every one of UYD’s listeners.
1:00:47 – Seth tells us that Ep. 205 will go up next week, while 206 will be the week after that – it’s another pre-recorded episode. They will be back the following week with 207.
1:01:46 – This week is the four-year anniversary of the first UYD show that went up. Seth wishes UYD a happy birthday.
0:57 – We learn that this episode was recorded by Jah and Seth on Friday, Jan. 29
8:54 – Jah talks about how not fresh people’s played-out shit is. He think this started changing within our period of life growing up. People used to have to be the best in order to keep going.
1:19 – This episode is being recorded on Wednesday, 7:50 p.m. on Dec. 23, 2009. Jah calls it an “Episode to be Named at a Later Date,” and it’s being hosted by “Marcia and Seth.”
51:29 – Seth and Marcia share a sweet moment where they tell each other that they love one another very much.
55:01 – “Imagine” by John Lennon, which is Seth and Marcia’s song (Episode 192, 19:15), closes out this special episode.
1:06 – Jah and Seth bump it. Seth says it’s nice to have Jah back, while Jah says it’s nice to be home.
54:17 – Seth gives mad props to his mother, who laid it down hard with Seth in Episode 206. He was a little apprehensive to mix the UYD formula up, but he had the best time with her. He said people were so nice, sending voicemails and mail. Marcia got to hear a bunch of voicemails and was overwhelmed with the good cheer. Jah hopes everyone was down with it because it was truly the best.
1:26 – Seth asks if midnight is the witching hour (Episode 065, 0:55)
42:59 – Jah provides some commentary on how Toyota done fucked up.
1:04 – This is Episode 210, what’s up with your friend? (Episode 145, 4:17)
16:58 – Seth goes through the lyrics for “Me So Horny” by the 2 Live Crew and compares them with the radio edit.
33:40 Whistle + smoking
46:07 – Seth wants to know what the deal is with Magic Jack and getting unlimited calls for $20 a year.
1:24 – UYD is considering changing the name of the podcast to “Tough Stuff.”
16:50 – Seth lists off famous people who need to stop cloaking that they’re gay and just come out of the closet: Kevin Spacey, John Travolta, Zach Quinto, Anderson Cooper, Shepard Smith, Evan Lysacek, Florida Governor Charlie Crist, Tyler Perry and Ryan Seacrest.
53:26 – Seth and Jonathan have a deep discussion about kids being able to see 3D
59:47 – Jah takes a minute to ejaculate all over the new UYD website. He’s been getting a lot of texts from people noticing that awesomeness that Nick created.
1:28 – This is Episode 2-1-3 (in Malibu)
1:50 – Seth wonders if Brad Pitt left Angelina Jolie and fell into the open arms of Sandra Bullock, would it create the best nickname ever? PittBull.
1:02:14 – This episode is crumbelievable (Episode 096, 4:39 and 5:00)
1:03:51 – Jah talks about how some listeners who get the show from an alternative RSS feed are getting broken links from when UYD used a hosting service. So basically, use iTunes.
1:20 – Jah explains that UYD is coming to you on this early recording date (April 9) because Jah will not be able to be there for the normal recording time. Seth wants Jah to divulge why, but Jah doesn’t want to get into it.
37:54 – Jah proposes that they need to make a camera that is connected to your forehead, strapped onto your head from the moment you’re born, and it records everything in your life. Every time you blink, it stores a still picture away so you waon’t miss any of the moments you’ve blinked. You would them have your entire life documented in moving picture and stills, and would share it with anyone you wanted. Jah says data storage is relatively cheap nowadays, and you could record an entire existence of a human lifetime.
44:44 – Jah and Seth reference that they do have at least one blind listener, but Seth wonders if they have any deaf listeners who try to simply feel the vibration.
1:07:24 – A callback to Jonathan’s funk rap from Episode 024, 50:38 as we hear Anthony Kiedis tells us “True men don’t kill coyotes.”
1:16 – Seth wants to know if people are still ghost riding the whip, and Jonathan attests to the fact that in the Bay Area, people are still ghost riding that whip.
24:41 – Jah gives a callback to the Elvis “fader” story from Episode 130, 28:43.
59:48 – Seth describes seeing Hubble in IMAX combined with Leonardo DiCaprio’s narration voice as a vanilla DMT shake with a protein boost. Jah wonders if it’s still playing at the California Science Center, and Seth confirms that it is, along with Kelly Slater’s Ultimate Wave Tahiti 3D IMAX, which Seth describes as “riding the tube.” Seth requests someone to illustrate a photo of him on a surfboard riding the tube with awesome board shorts.
1:03:33 - Jah lets out a nice little fart
1:13 – Episode 216 is dedicated to the craft and ever-expanding world of crystal healing.
54:12 – Jah wonders how endangered the general cosmetic feel of newstands are. He wonders if they’ll completely evaporate in our lifetime. Jah thinks they will.
1:40 – Seth realizes we’re getting ever so close to our special “JackÈe Episode,” or Episode 227 (Episode 181, 5:10).
27:59 – Jah wants to know what’s up with the fact that we drive so much.
32:58 – Jah references UYD’s legendary Doritos episode (Episode 079) where everyone starts puking while UYD stuffs their faces
1:05:52 – Jah reveals he is flying in a few hours and wonders if he’ll die on the way to Boston. He then congratulates his brother, Ben, on graduating college and being the first college graduate in his family.
1:23 – Jah apologizes ahead of time for putting Seth at a slight disadvantage technologically by forgetting cables tonight. They’re coming to us from a campfire setting tonight.
32:21 – Seth wonders if UYD can get a TV show with the Jerky Boys. Jah thinks that would be awesome.
41:49 – Jah wonders if he heard this right – that the HIV virus is smaller than the porousness of latex in condoms.
48:21 – Seth reveals that Jah was born on the Sunset Strip. As far as Seth is concerned, Jah is a modern-day Jim Morrison.
1:03:36 – Jah loves some of the amazing texts he gets. He tries to respond to as many as he can. He can’t get to all of them, but some of them are so fresh or on point and he loves how they find him throughout his days and nights in other situations. He reassures everyone that he’s still down with it and appreciates it.
19:55 – Jah wonders if eating hormones in our food grows our kids big from their eating of hormones or from us genetically modifying over a couple generations and them having to bear the brunt of that. Jah is curious because he has been seeing some really big kids lately.
50:47 – Jah ponders if kids could take over the world. Seth thinks they are.
1:00:02 – It seems to Jah that there are plenty of people who agree with things UYD are saying but are completely content to still do it. Jah realizes that we as a species change so much, as do our desires. He says if we pay attention to those things we realize how rapidly changing we are. An incredible amount of peoples’ lives is spent in a place not dealing with the current place where they really are – here on the TV, here on the computer, here on a video game.
1:04:53 – Jah says he occasionally dips into Myspace. The majority of friend requests he gets there now fall into the category of spam.
1:17 – Seth has a variety of beverages for Jah to choose from – Diet Dr Pepper, Diet Mt Dew, Sunkist and Pepsi Max
5:45 – After a long pause, Jah simply says, “Ozzy, man.”
23:20 – Seth observes that Indian tweens dominate spelling, Kenyans dominate running and Finlandians dominate hotboxing. Jah wonders what it is that Americans dominate in. Seth thinks it’s competitive comedy podcasting.
1:03:03 – Jah asks the UYD listeners as an aside if any of them live on Native American reservations.
1:06:21 – Jah announces that the uhhyeahdude.com front page has officially changed. Jah was announcing to start a blog post for himself on there and has been moved out for the time being. He says his presence will increase. He says some super dope shit is coming through the pipes, possibly even mobile device stuff. There is an obituary portion of the front page where people can read about dead celebs. Seth says very soon there will be a Volume IV of Seth’s Corner video mash-ups.
1:49 – When things overwhelm you, you just have to remember to breathe. Jonathan and Seth audibly illustrate this for us.
24:57 – Jah asks if he can talk shit about Pineapple Express or if he can’t because it’s too wack.
33:56 – Jah asks Seth if they’re doing a live show this summer, or if they’re doing any kind of a summer break together
58:23 – Jah asks if there’s something happening on the website. Seth says you can visit Seth’s Corner from the homepage to view video mixtapes of awesome television moments, and Volume 4 is now up.
26:28 – If you really wanted to make a day out of it at, you go to an old folks’ home and get super-easy access, just as Jonathan and Seth did when they visited Gertrude Baines (Episode 112, 0:53). (Jah thinks it would have been funny if the then-oldest person would’ve paid them to murder her.) You then could go room-to-room with an old-school doctor’s medical bag and just swipe prescription pills from every room.
37:33 – Seth is flabbergasted that Grown Ups isn’t out yet. If it doesn’t open with $130 million he thinks it will be a failure. The creepiest thing in the ad for it to Jonathan was when all the acotrs are on their inner tubes wearing shirts. Seth thinks this is a Paul Blart situation for him; he will be at the Grove at 9 a.m. to watch it.
1:00:58 – Jah gets trippy and reads from “Lenticular Matters,” an exclusive text by Cameron Stallones, a.k.a. Sun Araw: “The lenticular object is the means to our end, the means of getting On Patrol. It's the UFO, the lens shape that winks in and out of our plane to broadcast some Cosmic Giggle and, at times, for amped confrontation: close encounters and (in the extreme) rebirth. The UFO phenomenon, like the lenticular phenomenon, is prominently vaginal, and so most of the time you can hear it harmonizing with classic birth trauma. But it's a good hurt, the yonic cruise. The lenticular object appears in traditional Christian iconography as the Mandorla, a representation of the overlap of Divinity and physical reality, so, hey, that's our clue, it's glowing doors and gateways from here on out. We "see" them because, as the shape itself instructs us, these are perceptual zones we're stalking: warped but potent mirrors and refractors of other dimensions. Los Angeles is a pretty lenticular town, when you get right down to it. At least in the sense that it's a doorway. If and when we have a choice about the other side of that door, it can be a true spaceport. The vaginal symbol that's the thrumming machinery governing all of the coming and going from physical reality to total image in this town stands in stark contrast to the sadly impotent (and misconceived) masculine energy that is supposedly in the driver's seat. Not a chance, dudes, are you kidding? Put that away before you hurt yourself. The true other side of the door is outer/inner space, always has been, always will be. An echo in the finite of the infinite act of Creation, as Coleridge would say. The Great Attractor, Blake called it the Divine Imagination. But either way, it's been summoned by too many good-hearted people to stay away long. Its frequencies are powerful, it's just about tuning in to the end of history. Watch it now, on demand, so you become an observer: Paradise Regained. McLuhan "saw" it as the enormous collective body we've been swarming into. Pierre Teilhard "saw" it as the Body of Christ on Earth, to be summoned and resurrected by the Father. Teleology is a tricky business, and as my buddy Phil used to say, we're just hanging the curtains, moving the lights around, testing, testing 1...2...3. The cybernetic network, Mama Matrix, maholo, whatever you call it, it's just a stage. Who and what walks out onto that stage will be the (reflective) surprise. (Hint: It's not a surprise.) Until then, back in the (lenticular) patrol car: antennas up.”
1:42 – Seth and Jonathan do their best Malibu accents
7:40 – Jah asks a question based on a mock video he saw. He wonders if it’s possible that there was a video where people put a ring of cellphones with a popcorn kernel in the middle of it, and they Skyped the cell phones and it popped the kernel in the middle. Seth answers with “Building 7.”
15:34 – Jah declares he has the worst laugh tonight; it’s like a cackle.
34:17 – Jah said that Kim Kardashian’s relationship with Ray-J didn’t work because he’s a dick. Seth says it’s because Ray-J’s sister, Brandi, is a murderer.
47:53 – Jah asks Seth if he’s heard the term “minder” for a nanny. Celebrities have minders for their children – not nannies.
1:39 – Last week Seth said to hang loose, but he might get rowdy tonight. Jah doesn’t know about this because he’s not feeling very rowdy.
12:21 – You could call the UYD voicemail at 888-842-2357, Jah’s phone at 323-481-4422 or Mike Jones at 281-330-8004
53:18 – Seth asks Jah what he’s wearing, it’s a little vintage Christian Dior outfit. He says Jah looks like a 1950s French seaman. Jah says it was a present.
1:12:54 – UYD recommends drinking more water this week. Jah adds that they should avoid the plastic bottles. Seth recommends recycling, but Jah says “fuck recycling. Recylcing is taking certain pieces of garbage and putting them in one place and taking another kind of garbage and putting them in another place.”
1:28 – Seth reveals that Jah’s birthday (Aug. 7) falls on a Saturday next month and asks him if he’s ready to party. Jah says no, he isn’t.
1:54 – Before Seth dives into a news tidbit, Jah takes a second to slow it down and say it’s nice to be there doing the show.
15:39 – Jah recommends that Seth gets a huge chopper trike with double wheels in the back. He remembers seeing one of these driven by Peter Dinklage in a movie he starred in with Gary Oldman where both play little people. For the life of him Jah can’t think of the name of this movie. Seth thinks Gary Oldman is really tiny but J-dawg looks it up to double-check: he’s 5-foot-9. Seth still thinks he has an English bone disease that keeps him smaller and he’s just posing as 5-9.
29:40 – Jah says that women can make men crazy, but says he’s not defending Billy Bob Thornton. He thinks men have the ability to really hurt women emotionally, but he believes they do have the upper hand in how psychologically painful they can be to us.
30:48 – Jah loved Sling Blade and he thinks Billy Bob Thornton wanted to make some real movies. He thought J.T. Walsh was awesome in the movie too. He also loved Lucas Black in the movie and loved seeing him again in Friday Night Lights, where there was a similar Billy Bob/Lucas/country star connection to Sling Blade. (Episode 079, 58:50).
32:20 – Jah says he simply can’t shake the name of the stupid movie with Peter Dinklage and Gary Oldman. While he reads the next segment he wants Seth to look it up online.
34:00 – Seth has finally found it. Tiptoes is a 2003 film starring Kate Beckinsale, Matthew McConaughey and Gary Oldman. Kate Beckinsale is a talented painter and independent woman who falls in love with Steven (played by McConaughey) without knowing much about him other than he is the perfect man. But when she finds herself pregnant it forces McConaughey to expose his darkest secret – his family. Steven happens to be the only average-sized person in a family of dwarves, including his twin brother, Rolfe (played by Gary Oldman). Carol and Steven are then forced to come to terms with the fact that the fetus she carries may be born a dwarf. This terrifies McConaughey, as he had to watch his twin brother suffer the difficulties of being a little person and does not want to watch this child suffer that same pain. As Carol decides to carry the child, she and Steven grow farther apart and she begins to rely on Rolfe to teach her about life with people with dwarfism. Peter Dinklage appears as Maurice. Patricia Arquette is Lucy, David Alan Grier is Jerry Robin Jr.
38:52 – Jah wonders why no one has sent them any awesome sturdy pairs of 3D glasses
48:08 – Jah goes online to discover Tim Roth’s alleged height – 5-foot, 7 inches. He reads some comments about it: “This guy always nods his head to the side all the time.” … “He’s not 5-7.” … “He looks tiny, I doubt he’s 5-7.” … “He pretty consistenly looks exactly 5-7 in Lie To Me. In his Tarantino movies he was around taller actors so he may have looked 5-6.” … “He’s a solid 5-7 and as for him being a dick, everyone has their bad days, and he’s also known for being a little cool toward male fans. But from female fans who have met him, I’ve heard he treats them like gold.”
49:40 – Seth and Jah can’t think of the movie that Roth and Tupac Shakur were in together. They know it’s a one-word title. Jah finally looks it up, Gridlock’d.
1:00:14 – Jah thanks all UYD listeners and says it means the world to him that people listen and tell friends about the show.
1:03:02 – After weeks of telling people to breathe, smile, drink water, sleep, etc., Seth and Jah are simply telling people to “Have the best week.”
1:32 – This is 2-2-7, hosted by Jonathan and Jack-ain’t
14:30 – Seth has been getting many voicemails from people talking about Jonathan’s jam of a movie, Up (Episode 226, 44:31). Jah admits there’s something within the pacing of a movie that allows him to draw life lessons from it.
15:40 – Seth asks Jonathan whether he should go through The Wire series or all the Pixar movies. Seth then lists off all the Pixar movies he can think of.
18:02 – Jah was a huge fan of Black Zappa back in the day
1:07:15 – Jonathan asks if this is the first time UYD has ever come to its listeners on location outside of a live show. Seth answers yes. They usually do the show on Thursday, but they were coming up on the wedding in Mendecino and with travel plans Thursday got weird. J-dawg said to pack up the tech and record the show in the woods in a cabin. Jah says it’s significant to mention it since they’ve only done shows in Seth’s apartment, Brooklyn and Los Angeles.
46:24 – Seth talks about how they got a little jacked-up at the beginning of the show trying to remember the dates and times and names. Jah points out that the last three episodes have been harder and harder for Jah to get the time and date correct. He said it’s not something he thinks about before they start the show.
50:35 – Seth apologizes for all the bad language UYD uses on the show. The use of “retard” has offended some listeners. Jah isn’t conscious of the fact that he’s saying it spitefully. He thinks if the Black-Eyed Peas can have a hit single originally titled “Let’s Get Retarded” then he should be exempt.
2:08 – Jah reveals that he turns 33 years old on August 7.
12:03 – Seth references the discussion from Episode 227 (1:01:07) about counterfeit bills, in which Jah says he recalls a story about nickels that Jean Shepherd (not Bob Shepherd) of A Christmas Story lived off of. Jah then says that $5 bills have the same pink hue as a $50 bill. $5 bills are washable and can be easily reprinted as $50s.
1:09:48 – Jah explains the problem with recycling. He says that garbage must be pre-sifted anyway by waste management companies, so recylable items that are dumped into a regular trash can are sifted out and profited from. He thinks one waste company should be doing all of the job rather than a third-party company getting paid for more work.
3:13 – Seth says if you’re at work, go to uhhyeahdude.com and tell your boss to “go screw.” He thinks that if your boss looked over your shoulder and saw what was going on, he would pull a seat right up.
30:10 – Jah wonders why there is no technology available that allows cars to go places on their own. When he was younger he just assumed that by the time he was 20 it would be happening. He says there’s not a piece of technology out there that doesn’t exist to allow it to happen.
2:38 – Seth wants to know if J-dawg is going to Go The Distance with Drew Barrymore and Justin Long. Seth thinks the only real-life couple that he would want to see in a rom-com is Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith in a remake of Love Story.
3:51 – Seth references Go The Distance starring a real-life couple, Justin Short and Drew Barryless (Episode 231, 2:38), and then talks about the upcoming movie Life As We Know It, coming out Oct. 28, starring former couple Josh Duhamel and Katherine Heigl.
7:04 – Seth didn’t know that Jah and his family performed at the Hollywood Bowl this weekend. By “you” Seth means “you and your brothers – the Neville brothers.”
46:36 – Seth talks about the live show on Saturday, Oct. 2 in Santa Monica at the Broad Stage.
1:00:44 – Jah thanks all the listeners for the flood of amazing birthday wishes they sent him on Aug. 7.
1:02:59 – Jah begins to read: The question “What shall we do about it?” is only asked by those who do not understand the problem. If a problem can be solved at all, to understand it and to know what to do about it are the same thing. On the other hand, doing something about a problem which you do not understand is like trying to clear away darkness by thrusting it aside with your hands. When light is brought, the darkness vanishes at once. This applies particularly to the problem now before us. How are we to heal the split between “I” and “Me?” The brain and the body. Man and nature. And bring all the vicious circles which it produces to an end? How are we to experience life as something other than a honey trap in which we are the struggling flies? How are we to find security and peace of mind in a world whose very nature is insecurity, impermanence and unceasing change? All these questions demand a method and a course of action. At the same time, all of them show that the problem has not been understood. We do not need action, yet we need more light. Light here means awareness – to be aware of life of experience as it is in this moment, without any judgments or ideas about it. In other words, you have to see and feel what you are experiencing as it is, not as it is named. This very simple opening of the eyes brings about the most extraordinary transformation of understanding and living and shows that many of our most baffling problems are pure illusion This may sound like an oversimplification because most people imagine themselves to be fully enough aware of the present already, but we shall see that this is far from true. Because awareness is a view of reality free from ideas and judgments it is clearly impossible to define and write down what it reveals. Anything which can be described is an idea, and I can not make a positive statement about something, the real world, which is not an idea. I shall therefore have to be content with talking about the false impressions which awareness removes rather than the truth which it reveals. The latter can only be symbolized with words which mean little or nothing to those without a direct understanding of the truth in question.
1:06 – J-Dawg kicks off the episode, then passes the mic over to Marcia Romatelli, who is again co-hosting with Seth (Episode 206)
1:33 – Marcia’s theory on wine is that it’s better than pills. She is in Hollywood because she missed her baby boy, plus UYD nation was clamoring for a repeat performance. Marcia thanks everyone who listens to J-dawg and Seth every week and thanks everyone for the shout-outs and gifts that she received after co-hosting the last time.
2:21 – Seth explains that Jah is on a spiritual retreat that is well-deserved.
15:48 – This week’s lesson is to see things through the eye of a child
55:40 – Marcia says it has been her pleasure to help “these two boys” out. She loves doing this and thanks everyone who listens and understands podcasts. She encourages everyone to go to the live show on Oct. 2.
2:04 – Jah says it’s nice to be back. Seth says they are together again on a little phrase he’s coined called “The Road to the Broad.” He announces that the Oct. 2 7:30 p.m. live show in Santa Monica is sold out and there has been an additional performance added at 9:30 p.m.
11:41 – Seth says good luck to all the NFL teams
12:39 – Jah says the depression he slipped into after the last UYD live show was epic. He says his ashram was lovely, however. One day all he ate was a grain of rice.
19:43 – Seth says that J-Dawg needs a catchphrase. He wonders if they could write Jim Carrey a letter and ask if Jah could take “Smmmoookin!” as his own catchphrase after Carrey would inevitably realize how much better Jah’s was.
31:05 – Jah gives us another taste of Aaron Neville and Led Zeppelin, which he calls “Never Say Neville.”
43:22 – Jah’s new catchphrase is “Dat Be Duffy’s Seed.”
48:28 – This country feels more racist to Jah right now than it ever has in his life – not in daily interaction but in what it seems like people running the world are having to deal with.
58:25 – Jah wishes Seth a Happy 9/02/10 Day.
1:04:15 – For Grandparents’ Day, Seth will be hanging out with Jeff, relaxing. They’ll probably go to lunch, Piranha: 3D, take a nap and catch the Cowboys’ game.
1:05:58 – Amber is the color of their energy
2:42 – Seth holds up his first residual check (paper chase) of 2010 from the Screen Actors Guild for Crossroads (Episode 150, 23:37). It covers free television, pay television and cassette disc markets. Principal photo date was 3/12/2011. The check is for $24.61.
15:09 – Seth goes over two different couples who went on dates – one couple in 1986 and one in 1996. Neither couple consummated that date with intercourse; however, for that one night, when they sat across from each other, anything was possible. In 1986, Oprah Winfrey and Roger Ebert went on a date. Ebert was the one who convinced her to sign the syndication deal with King World. Then, Seth learned that Jennifer Aniston and John Stewart went out on a date in 1996 but she brought a few too many of her girlfriends for it to constitute a “date.”
1:04:29 – Jah wonders which episode the live show in Santa Monica will be. Seth counts it out as Episode 238.
4:21 – Seth thanks UYD nation because they sold out the second show at the Broad.
44:03 – UYD will probably be playing their next live show in Austin, Texas.
46:06 – Seth can’t remember the slogan “Keep Austin Weird.” Jah thought it was “Keep Portland Weird.” (Episode 116, 9:51)
1:13:27 – It’s Seth’s birthday on Wednesday
1:47 – Where the F does the time Fing go? It’s October already, and Seth and J-dawg will see you this weekend.
4:59 – Seth dips back into The Town and how he was disturbed by the nun habits and the ghost masks. He was even more disturbed by the opening scene, when they’re wearing Skeletor masks and purple dredlocks.
55:16 – Jonathan and Seth think that bartering is the way everything should be nowadays. Jah thinks that if we’re moving that way, everyone in UYD nation is covered because we have our own community and could be self-sufficient using the talents that each of us possess. Jah recommends that everyone who listens to this show needs to move to Hollywood. Seth says we all have to buy property within a 6-block radius of the studio and just take over as a gang.
1:04:31 – Seth and Jah ponder what kind of vehicle Jim Carrey drives. Jah guesses maybe a played-out Porsche just because it costs $250,000 and he’s the worst. Jah thinks maybe he might be eco and have an electric Tesla.
1:08:57 – This week at the Broad Stage: 2 Live Show featuring Luther Campbell.
2:09 – Seth can’t see Jah as they begin the live show. He’s not nervous at all. This is no big whoop. He claims the Sundance was just detailed and is available for photo ops.
4:45 – Seth holds up another European residuals check from the Screen Actors Guild from Crossroads, which played three times in Switzerland and once in Sweden for a total gross of $12.65. Jah asks if he can read out the last four digits of Seth’s social, and he says yes because he has LifeLock.
16:32 – Seth thanks the audience for being there, because he understood that Yoko Ono was at the Orpheum Theatre tonight and they could’ve been there instead of at the Broad.
37:58 – Jah has to pee. He tried to pee beforehand but it just wouldn’t come out right.
42:50 – J-dawg is hurting. He has to pee so bad.
59:45 – Jah thanks every single person who came out and bought a ticket – everyone who made the “Road to the Broad” what it is. He specifically thanks Weck and Nick, Dimitri and Jordan who helped facilitate this, and Wendell. The DJ this evening, Turquoise Wisdom (aka Zach), is bomb. Jah announces that after the 9:30 p.m. show they will be going to a bar around 11:30 called Renee’s on Wilshire between 5th and 6th Street.
2:14 – Seth disses the 7:30 show and says they saved it all for this 9:30 live show at the Broad. Jah claims he is wearing the same shirt he wore for the first show.
10:32 – Jah has a theory for an invention called the Third Eye, which is to capitalize on the blogged-out world we’re in. From birth you strap a wi-fi cam onto the forehead where the third eye would be, and it tracks everything to document one’s life effortlessly. Everyone would have their own personal TV channel and you’d get to choose whose life you wanted streamed to you.
28:16 – Seth shows the crowd some paperwork from the Screen Actors Guild awarding foreign royalties to Seth for Crossroads, which played three times in Switzerland and once in Sweden for a total gross of $12.65.
42:45 – Seth wonders what people used for a condom in 1909.
54:51 – Seth lets everybody know that the Sundance has been detailed and washed and is available for any photo opportunities.
59:05 – Seth informs the crowd that Yoko Ono is performing at the Orpheum Theatre tonight.
1:02:17 – Jah invites everyone to join them at a bar called Renee’s on Wilshire at about 11 p.m. or 11:30 p.m. He thinks everyone is probably trashed from the 7:30 show if they even made it there because they forgot to say “Seatbelts.”
1:30 – Since UYD doubled up on episodes on Saturday, they’re coming at us from the future now. Some people said that those who only caught the second show were thrown off because they’d have to go back in time and listen to Episode 238 after they’d already heard Episode 239.
5:58 – Seth takes us to the 90s. He was given a gift during the night of the live show, an issue of Details magazine from March of 1992 (Episode 238, 16:04). It’s the spring fashion issue featuring 50 pages of “style.” There is an article entitled “The Program for the Future is Wearable Computers.” … Wearable computers, or “bodytops,” can be created to suit every taste. Right now, at an advanced PC design center in Tokyo, they’re releasing new models. By the late 90s these will become standard-issue. One of them is designed for emergency paramedics who will need both hands free and an unobscured downward vision so they can drive and treat patients. A handheld track ball with video camera and sensors will relay to the goggles that the paramedic is wearing a patient’s injuries and his vital signs. It will also hook into a system that will match them for their stored medical history. … For journalists, writers and businessmen, there’s the lapbody. It will hang from the shoulder like a purse and unfold from the chest. It’s really made for retail sales and stockroom workers. It won’t be long now before PCs become as much a part of your wardrobe as a business suit. Computer stores will look more like boutiques than warehouses and technology will be more fashionable than ever.
The magazine also has an interview with Drew Barrymore, who has just turned 17 years old three weeks prior to this interview. Q: What’s the most insightful thing a stranger has ever told you about yourself? A: Some guy once walked up to be in a club and said he was going to tell me 10 things about me that would all be true. He was right on all 10 but the truest thing he said was that I had a young heart and an old soul. Q: Tell me a recent dream. A: Last night I had a dream about Keanu Reeves, who I’ve known for years. In the dream Keanu and I were just palling around and suddenly I looked at him and he turned into this ugly alien. Then I turned into something equally awful like a hideous tarantula. Q: What do you think that means? A: That I’m searching for someone. Because often the people I involve myself with turn into something other than that – other than what I originally thought that they were. That’s when they turn into something and then I change to and then I don’t like what I’ve become. Nothing against Keanu – he just happened to be starring in my dream. Q: What do you wear when you sleep? A: Nothing. I can’t understand how people sleep in their clothes. It’s too constricting. Q: When did you stop wearing pajamas? A: Around age 13, that’s when I learned the beauty of sleeping in the nude. I think I have my best moments when I’m nude, asleep in my bed. Now that I think about it, I have my most sensual thoughts in bed. Q: I’ve read that you don’t use body doubles. Nudity seems to scare a lot of actors. Why not you? A: I’m not scared of anything. I’ve already been to hell and back.
54:19 – Seth wants to know the guy’s name from Hellraiser, and Jah tells him it’s Pinhead (Episode 059, 44:48).
1:05:37 – Jah says a new t-shirt and poster have debuted in the Merch section of the UYD website.
1:25 – This is a late night for UYD because they’ve been going early when the daylight is so right.
38:50 – WWJWD? What Would James Woods Do? (Episode 240, 1:02:52 and 1:03:51) He would stretch.
1:59 – Jah slows down the audio so it sounds chopped and screwed.
2:14 – Seth is afraid he’s older than Justin Bieber’s father, which brings up a lot of issues and questions for him.
1:09:09 – Seth is puzzled that people still do kooky voicemail greetings on their cell phones that started off “Hello? Hello? I can’t hear you.” Jah wants to go back to all landlines because Seth has a blessed, charmed life.
1:54 – Jonathan gave Seth the actual totem used in Inception and he has just begun spinning it. This way they can actually know if this is really 243 or Two-Forty-Dream.
4:48 – Jah hears a weird sound happening in the rear of the studio. Seth says there’s all kinds of sounds that occur in this “haunted mansion” he lives in.
7:00 – It’s not Autumn until Seth’s mother presses leaves from a New England autumn in wax paper and sends them to Seth.
11:15 – Jah wonders if Seth ever heard the term “quista quivers” being a reference to girls’ boobs. He thought it was an East Coast phenomenon, but Seth is not familiar.
46:57 – Jah pokes fun at Seth’s Russian accent, which sounds more Jamaican than anything. Jah then corrects it with his impeccable Rusky accent.
55:52 – Jah says Groupon is no joke. You can get stuff for like 50% off.
59:26 – If Tony needs anything, Seth is there: “Romo! It’s Roma. Sup? Anything. Holla.”
2:01 – Seth has a Diet Sunkist right now. You know what that means – summertimes. It was still really hot in LA today.
2:13 – Seth shows a pressed maple leaf he received from his mom the day after mentioning it in Episode 243. He loves receiving New England fall foliage in the mail.
2:45 – Jah finds it weird that autumn and fall are the same thing but summer and winter don’t have other names. Jah says it was a bunk summer and it still feels like summer to him even though it’s moving into the holiday season. He’s prepared for full depression to set in by Thanksgiving.
30:10 – Seth mentions that you can go to Seth’s Corner on the website and view two new volumes, 5 and 6, of Seth’s video mash-ups. Also, if you go to the homepage, there’s a homepage banner link for the Podcast Awards (podcastawards.com), where you can vote for Uhh Yeah Dude for Best Comedy Podcast. Just like when Brando sent Sacheen Littlefeather to accept his Academy Award for The Godfather, Seth and Jah’s plan is to send Jeff, Nick and Weck to the ceremony in mandarin-collared, knee-length, Michael-Jordan-style tuxes while wearing Michael Jordan cologne, to accept their award for them.
1:04:59 – Seth’s advice for this week is to crush up an Addy and take it. Even give some to your twin babies in their gums.
25:35 – Jah recommends re-naming the podcast to “Talkin’ Turkey.”
26:50 – Jah thinks it would be cool if UYD had a hoteline where volunteers answered calls for all-purpose requests.
27:17 – Seth says there are new volumes up in Seth’s Corner. He acknowledges that there is some heavy shit featured in Volume 5 and some people were scared.
5:05 – Seth hears from his contacts who saw the James Franco vehicle 127 Hours, and apparently before his arm gets trapped in a crevice, he encounters two young girls and snaps digital photographs of them. At one point he thinks to himself, ‘I think I’m going to jerk off,’ and zooms in on the photo of one of the girls he took a picture of to zoom in on their chest to jerk off.
7:26 – Jah gives Seth another “Every Kiss Begins With Kay.” It’s not really the holidays for Seth until J-Dawg sings that jingle.
7:52 – Seth asks when the best time to propose to your girlfriend is. J-Dawg thinks that if you want a summer wedding, you should propose during the summer prior so you have a full year to prepare.
20:00 – Jah thinks Huey Lewis & The News should have just been called “The News.” Seth and Jah then wonder if listeners hated all the 80s music flashbacks from Episode 246.
2:25 – The 3 things that give Seth a full panic attack are shitty radio ads, pundits talking about the royal British family getting married and holiday gift guides where they pick a theme like “Dad” or “Gifts for Mom.” For Jah it’s a SkyMall magazine.
8:14 – Jah references Leonor’s, the veggie restaurant in the Valley. There’s an acting school right next door, and Kevin Sorbo went to the school, so he’s featured front and center.
11:57 – Jah spots something on the floor and thinks it might be a cockroach. He signals Seth over to look at it and Seth has no idea either. Seth hypothesizes that it might be a small cockroach. Seth then proceeds to speak while J-dawg removes it from the studio.
38:32 – The only two things Seth needs are television and food
56:12 – Jah holds up a residual payment statement from the Screen Actors Guild addressed to a Seth Romatelli. The performer’s name is also Seth Romatelli. Crossroads played on free TV but not paid TV or video/DVD. Strangely, the gross amount was for $24.89, yet the check was for $14.85. Seth looks forward to writing his name on the back of that paper and then handing it to the Armenian lady with huge cans at the Bank of America in Larchmont. All 7 girls that work there are Armenian, wear the same sweater and same diamond-encrusted cross that hangs over their enormous cleavage.
2:06 – This is one of UYD’s very last episodes of 2010. 15:11 – Uhh Yeah Dude has been nominated as a Podcast Awards finalist for the People’s Choice category. Seth is thrilled, Jah – not so much.
36:25 – Jah has had some names floating around his brain that have been giving him fits. He follows up on Wafaa Bilal (Episode 248), who happened to go to high school with Nick, who runs the UYD website. (He was the only Iraqi in the entire school during the time we were going to war with Iraq.) Jah’s problem is that he used a song last week by Wiz Khalifa from Pittsburgh, and is trying to keep abreast of the alleged beef between Gucci Mane and Waka Flocka Flame.
1:06:04 – There are new UYD t-shirts on pre-order right now. There’s a UYD prism that’s gray on a heather tee with a black and white logo, there’s a design from the Broad show that will be used as well.
1:14:49 – Seth and Jah haven’t given much thought to Episode 250. Callers are throwing out all kinds of special things they could do, but Jah will be lucky to get there on time to record the show let alone do something fancy.
1:51 – Seth wishes everyone a Happy New Year even though it’s still Dec. 9.
2:06 – Seth thanks people for voting for UYD in the People’s Choice category of the Podcast Awards. Seth isn’t sure what they will win other than the respect of their peers and their pride.
1:04:45 – Speaking of secret, Jah asks Seth if he’s a Mason. He wants to know if there are any Masons that listen to this show.
2:43 – Jah says that he’s assembled a “look back” at the last 250 episodes, including some of the things they’ve said and funnier things they’ve said over the last 250 hours. They’re just going to sit back and roll it and hear it for the first time. Seth said he wants to throw out the index cards and pencils because anything is possible in this retrospective look back.
11:07 – Seth wants to know if there’s ever been a movie called Field Trip
15:18 – Seth saw Owen Wilson on a movie poster the other day and was freaked out thinking about the fact that “The Butterscotch Stallion” tried to kill himself in the summer of 2007.
55:30 – Seth claims that a citizen’s arrest is not a real thing. Jah wants to know if anyone has ever made one who listens to this show.
1:03:43 – Jah sends out a huge thank you to a gang of people who were nice enough to rally and send UYD some donation money. Jah was going to have a list in hand to be able to read off the names, but the list got kind of long and there were more things coming in and he didn’t want to leave anyone out. He broadly thanks people who decided to come together and do something for Jonathan and Seth. He says it’s a crazy awesome Christmas present and congratulatory present to them.
1:05:10 – Seth says he remembers Episode 001 and what Jonathan was wearing that night. Jah thinks he had cargo pants and Crocs on.
1:10:06 – Seth and Jah bump it in recognition of 250 episodes.
2:00 – Seth hopes that they can do a “Countdown to Destiny” episode on New Year’s Eve on Friday night. Seth thinks the New Year’s countdown is an exciting time, while J-Dawg thinks it’s depressing. Jah thinks we’re calling the upcoming year “Two-thousand-and-eleven,” while Seth will just call it “this year.”
15:22 – Seth wonders what the Chinese equivalent of Abiquiu, N.M. is.
49:29 – In the middle of Jah’s diatribe about the United States’ outside expenditures, Seth’s apartment buzzer sounds and he leaves to go retrieve a package. Seth returns with the biggest thing in the world and begins to open it as he discusses show items. The package is filled with packing peanuts, and Jah deciphers that it’s a big piece of art. Seth reads the card, which says “Hello, and Merry Christmas! Enclosed is one piece of artwork for each of you, but not, but is. When brought together, one soul and two pieces made of many little pieces by one person with two hands for two men, but are united as one. Touching so many lives. Fuck it – Seth, you figure it out. Merry Christmas guys. I have been waiting for good reason to do a phrenology piece, and what better reason could there be than UYD? I listen to you guys in my studio, cubicle, school and truly appreciate your dedication to the podcast and to America. Thanks for making me laugh my ass off and keeping me semi-sane in this fucked-up world. – Maria D’Angelo” … As Seth begins to dig deeper into opening up the package (56:36), he sends out a super thank-you to everybody who has ever sent anything into the studio. He has received so many great things over the years and has set up a shrine in the studio to commemorate it. As Seth unveils the package, Jah goes, “Oh my god, okie-doke. All right. This is nuts.” Seth declares (58:38) “We are looking at one of the craziest art pieces ever commissioned.” That was only one-half of it, and then he tears open the second one. Upon opening the second portion of the package (1:00:14), he declares “These are two large-scale collages…” After holding the two pieces up to each other (1:02:39), he realizes they are portraits of the two of them and they can’t exist individually – only with each other. The phrenology piece features J-dawg looking to the east and Seth looking to the west, and it’s the inside of their mind’s eye looking into the time-space continuum.
58:55 – Seth is coming over to the house for Christmas and will be spending the holiday with the Larroquettes. Seth and J-dawg were looking over all the stuff they’ve accrued on the table and wall of the stuff that’s been sent to the studio over the years. Thinking about all the donations that were sent at Episode 250 made Jah feel pretty Christmasy this year.
1:02:00 – Seth congratulates Tell ‘Em Steve Dave for winning the People’s Choice award in the Podcast Awards. He and Jah then apologize for bothering them with all the voting propaganda. Seth says now they can get back to the business at hand – doing the comedy podcast.
1:03:59 – Jah tells the listeners that there was a UYD app in the App Store that became available for sale and it was taken down again. There was a snafu through their hosting service. On that subject, Jah wants to know if anyone who listens to this show develops apps, because he wants to speak to them about doing a UYD app the right way.
1:57 – Jah and Seth say “sayonara” to 2010
24:17 – Seth just went sideways with his hat. It makes Jah think of Sideways with Paul Giamatti.
28:19 – Seth thinks they need to with their middle names, “Preston” and “Joey,” from now on in association with UYD.
30:32 – Seth finds out that bras are crazy expensive. Jah confirms this. Jah says one of the reasons that Victoria’s Secret is so successful is because it isn’t ridiculously expensive despite the quality.
32:26 – Seth wants to know what Mother Nature looks like. He knows what Jesus looks like but he doesn’t have any visual representation of what she looks like. J-dawg thinks she looks a lot like Gilda Radner.
1:04:34 – Jah asks if he’s allowed to leave Facebook. Seth says no; he’s locked in and he’s signed the contract. Jah is approaching the Facebook friend limit of 5,000 friends.
2:01 – Jah and Seth kick off the episode by poorly singing Bon Jovi
36:09 – Seth and Jah both like fruity gum. The only time Jah will eat minty gum is if his breath is rank and he needs that to correct it.
38:57 – Seth wants to know if J-dawg has ever prepared a meal for his lady, like they do in the meals. Jah says not really. He says it’s not romantic and it’s kind of weird. Ultimately he thinks the lady would appreciate a really good meal, period, versus a really crappy one you worked your ass off to make.
2:50 – Seth begins the episode by singing more Bon Jovi. UYD is in talks with Dickie Sambora to gain the rights to the song “It’s My Life.”
41:43 – Volume 7 of crazy videos is up in Seth’s Corner, so feel free to peep that 22-minute vid.
54:06 – After several unsuccessful attempts to flick his lighter and light a cigarette, Jah whispers frustratingly into the mic, “Oh my God, this fuckin’ lighter.”
2:09 – Jah is getting a pimple in the fold of his nose and it hurts like a sonofabitch.
2:16 – Richie Sambora will not let UYD use “It’s My Life” to open the rest of their episodes, so they’re left to their own devices.
31:28 – Jah asks Seth if he knows that they made a Garbage Pail Kids movie and it was live-action. Seth did not know this. Seth goes by “Bad Breath Seth” (Episode 037, 41:31) but Jah doesn’t think there was a Jonathan GPK. Seth discovers at 35:01 that Jah does not have a Garbage Pail Kid.
49:13 – Seth and Jah reference a couple of UYD staples, Enemy Mine (Episode 128, 12:41) and They Live. Jah then asks Seth about Moon, which came out a couple years ago with Sam Rockwell and Kevin Spacey.
2:33 – Seth and Jah were doing a little research about the world of R&B, hip-hop and pop. Jah says not to sleep on Stargate.
5:46 – Jah has noticed that the Facebook logo button with the “f” on it is popping up everywhere, on bus advertisements and at the end of new commercials, etc.
16:26 – Being that it’s UYD’s Valentine’s Day episode, it’s fair to remind listeners that “Every Kiss Begins With Kay.”
28:34 – This Friday, Feb. 11, Uhh Yeah Dude turns 5 years old. Episode 001 was released on Feb. 11, 2006.
45:34 – Jah reveals that the version of Smashmouth’s “All Star” that was read on the show (Episode 166, 0:14) was penned by listener John – who is the brother of their other friend, Will (electronic brother Baths), who Jogger was on tour with. Seth think Baths should remix that song in his set.
2:30 – Seth and Jah just stalled eight minutes so they could start the show at 4:20 a.m. Seth realized they could’ve just said it was and no one would’ve known, but that proves the authenticity with which they run their show.
2:15 – Seth wonders how he looks. He wonders if Jah would’ve known that Seth had surgery if Seth had never told him. Jah says he might’ve suspected that Seth had sustained some type of an injury because he’s favoring his leg still and it’s padded out more than the other leg.
44:34 – Jah wishes there was a home test for testosterone. He thinks it could be as valid in your daily activities as taking blood pressure.
2:27 – Jah mixes up some psychotic sound effects
2:43 – Seth just applied some lip balm before they started dropping some lip bombs.
3:09 – Seth’s 20-year high school reunion is coming up.
11:23 – The voicemail is back up, after a brief technical hiatus.
22:02 – Jah has more questions for girls. He wants to know how many girls that listen to this show have ever gotten hit on by a cop after getting pulled over. He wants to know if they got out of the ticket and if they gave him their phone number.
45:22 – Jah wants to know why there isn’t a smaller, personal, more affordable lie detector test.
2:42 – This is Episode Number Two-Hundred Sixty Fruit.
2:53 – Seth announces his presence by whistling (Episode 144, 0:25, 1:02 and 1:17)
1:10:23 – Jah can’t bake, so Seth thinks he might get him a cooking/baking class for his birthday as a couples gift with Jah’s lady.
59:57 – Jah begins reading trippy stuff. Many people on Earth are from other star systems, other galaxies, even other universes. These are called star seeds, walk-ins, light workers – human beings with alien DNA, or star-borne mortals. Star seeds have been coming since the beginning of Earth’s history, getting experience in being human – reincarnating over and over again, until they were ready for what’s called an awakening in the age of Aquarius and the ascension in the age of Aquarius that happens in 2012. Jah then reads characteristics of star seeds: compelling eyes, lower-than-normal body temperature, flying dreams, children and animals are attracted to you even though you hate both, hypersensitive to electromagnetic forcefields, and unseen companions as a child.
2:59 – Baby Emerson, an internet sensation, is in the studio with Jonathan and Seth right now.
28:32 – Seth’s phone rings in the background. He has a new phone and doesn’t know how to turn the ringer off anymore.
32:49 – Jah wonders the last time Seth heard “Hollyweird.” Seth thinks maybe it was Fred Durst (Episode 188, 10:03).
35:05 – Seth makes a crazy hand job motion that freaks J-dawg out temporarily.
1:05:42 – The Ghost in Hobart makes its appearance in Seth’s studio. Something moves through the studio that they’ve never seen move before.
4:24 – Jah asks if the house can turn down the lights a little bit so he isn’t blinded every time he looks into the audience.
1:18:20 – To round out the show, Jonathan invites his good friend and Jogger band mate Amir up on stage. The two proceed to play a rousing rendition of “Don’t Know Much” by Linda Ronstadt and Aaron Neville.
2:16 – Jah and Seth are a little tuckered out after going 90 minutes last week. They’re back in Seth’s apartment and back to normal.
3:01 – Jah and Seth received a gift in the form of an album, Bruce Willis’ The Return of Bruno. In the liner notes it says, “This album could not have been made without the help of the following people: My main mazain and co-potato head Robert Craft, the unwavering patience of Motown Records and lastly and most importantly, the big cat upstairs. Once upon a time, after wandering around in a daze for 12 years, in a hot, steamy, stankin’ Thursday night late in June 1986 I walked into a low-down and dirty dive called Club Babylon. It was my kind of place. On stage was a band who within 10 seconds had my little pink R&B toes tappin’. I knew I’d get along with these guys immediately. They all had dirty under their fingernails. I approached the bar, I ordered a Lamey Lo and quicker than a cat may blink its eye, the leader of these rhythm merchants said, “Hey Bruno, wanna sit in?” The rest as they say in this crazy mixed-up patchwork quilt of a town they call Hollywood is history. Your pal, Bruno.”
43:42 – Seth wonders if it would be crazy if he liked Jake Gyllenhaal. He won’t say it yet, he wants to do more research, but he thinks he just needs the right vehicle. Neither Seth nor Jah has ever watched Brokeback Mountain, but they think they might need to do it together.
58:20 – Jah understands that UYD is wanted in other places for possible live shows, and on that note he wants all to know that they are committed to doing that over the next several months.
1:01:54 – Seth warns everyone to hydrate this week.
32:39 – Jah thinks that people who carry iPads down the street in Seattle deserve to have them stolen by junkies.
2:27 – It’s May, and J-dawg has royal wedding fever. 17:03 – After several seconds of a loud, piercing alarm going off in the background, Seth asks listeners if they can hear it as well.
51:14 – Since Seth is one of those guys who will go to a massage chair in a shopping mall, Jonathan wonders if Seth would be willing to accept a possibility of interest in a hand and face washing station that isn’t in a bathroom.
15:26 – Seth wonders if UYD started getting mad money, what should they invest in? Jah says they should invest in Half Brick, the company that put out the Fruit Ninja app.
1:12:15 – Seth admonishes people to just be honest this week.
1:13:36 – Jah gets trippy and begins reading from Deskerati: “The concept of time as a way to measure the duration of events is not only deeply intuitive; it also plays an important role in our mathematical descriptions of physical systems. For instance, we define an object’s speed as its displacement per a given time. But some researchers theorize that this Newtonian idea of time as an absolute quantity that flows on its own, along with the idea that time is the fourth dimension of spacetime, are incorrect. They propose to replace these concepts of time with a view that corresponds more accurately to the physical world: time as a measure of the numerical order of change.” They are suggesting that space-time has no time dimension.
1:44 – Seth wonders if they should do the whole show in hushed dulcitone voices.
25:42 – Jonathan’s cell phone alarm starts to go off in the background.
36:00 – Jah wonders about the percentage of people who go against their natural inclination and choose to be homosexual because it’s taboo. Jah thinks it might be 30% of gay people.
55:01 – Jah asks if he can tell a joke: “What’s the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can’t peanut butter my dick up your ass.”
55:41 – Jah admits the UYD store is behind on shipping. Everything that has been ordered will be coming to you, just be patient.
56:20 – Jah says UYD would like to come to other cities to do live UYD shows, and queries listeners to inform him of any people they might know who could set them up with venues.
5:59 – Jah and Seth sing a jingle for a Southern California LAP-BAND weight loss surgery center: “Call 1-800-GET-THIN!”
12:42 – Seth shows Jonathan some mailbox money. He received a residual check worth $25.45. The shoot day was April 3, 2005 – shortly before the start of UYD in February 2006. This was no for Crossroads – it was for McBride No. 6 – “Did Anybody Here Murder Marty?” It re-aired on Christmas Day 2010. This means that Jonathan should receive an actual check for it because he and Amir did the music for the movie, and each time something airs he gets about $400.
13:20 – Jonathan is drinking a Fresita premium Chilean sparkling wine, infused with hand-picked strawberries from Patagonia.
1:02:23 – Volume 9 of Seth’s Corner is now up on the UYD website. It starts off with several openings of TV shows, then plunges in after that. Seth watched it last night and declares that it is a good one. It’s funny and it makes you think.
2:12 – Seth is in anti-distress. There’s one reason for it – Diet Dr Pepper, with Thor on his can.
9:13 – Jonathan is drinking another Fresita (Episode 274, 13:20). Jah likes it because it’s sticky and sweet. Seth wonders how many J-dawg could drink in one setting. He says he could drink 8-11 of them.
13:17 – Seth thinks Lil’ Jon should start a pizza chain.
33:06 – Jonathan wonders if they should add a “UYD Advisor” portion to the website where people can submit questions and they can give them answers.
10:17 – Seth goes about 30-50 on his SPF depending on his mood because he likes to be sun-kissed. Jah thinks that’s like wearing a linen suit. If J-dawg’s in Hawaii he’ll put SPF 30 on his nose.
26:24 – Seth thinks Prince might have been right when he said the internet was done. Seth gets on there and can’t find anything anymore.
22:45 – Seth gives a shout-out to his sister city, Pittsburgh.
45:24 – Jah asks Seth if he has an inny or an outie. Seth replies, “Oh don’t be sick” (Episode 081, 28:47). There’s not a person in the world who would think Seth has an outie going on. Seth is repulsed by disgusting outies, like Katie Holmes’.
2:27 – Jah begins the episode by riffing on a song by Hot Chelle Rae called “Tonight Tonight.”
18:12 – Seth reminds us that Archie comics is based on his high schoo, Haverhill High School. Seth wonders if he could be a friend of Kevin in the upcoming gay comic.
19:58 – Seth reveals that there’s a new edition, Volume 10, of Seth’s Clips up on the UYD website.
1:06:31 – Jah tells us that chizzuh, or Charlie, a big UYD supporter and presence on the forums, coaxed Jah into checking out a new social networking feature that launched recently called TurntableFM. They started a UYD room and J-dawg checked it out. It was the only experience doing something with social networking where he felt he was getting something he wouldn’t normally get in another venue. Jah admits it’s a little lame but it’s quasi-awesome.
7:12 – Seth’s formative years were when he came up in recess. Jah wouldn’t call it recess, he would call it “nutrition.” (Episode 041, 43:24)
8:59 – Whenever J-dawg sees Channing Tatum’s name, he always thinks of Biffin’s Bridge. His name makes him think of a choade, which is also known as a taint. So he thinks of the small piece of skin between his scrotum and asshole.
38:45 – The 9/11 anniversary is coming up. Friend of the show Turquoise Wisdom is flying to New York on 9/11. He thinks it should be free.
59:06 – Jah declares that pronunciation is the twin brother of intonation.
3:17 – Jah loves when shows fall on the first of the month – especially Seth’s birthday month
9:04 – The guys received an amazing piece of UYD needlepoint that is awesome.
11:10 – Seth wants to make sure Jah has no gum on him this week. Jah apologizes because many UYD listeners sent in complaints about how loud it sounded in last week’s episode. In Jah’s defense, however, he is trying to quit smoking.
1:13:51 – The mailman comes by Seth’s door with a returned item of some piece of merchandise that Jonathan sent to listener Tonya.
3:52 – Volume 11 of Seth’s Corner is up on the UYD website.
1:02:07 – Jah loves Seth but he asks if he can go home soon.
1:09:22 – Jah brings in an electrocution sound effect in post production to shock people.
39:18 – Jah wonders how many people who listen to UYD are on Megan’s Law. Seth estimates 30%.
1:00:32 – Jah asks Seth if he thinks it’s weird they had a candlelight vigil outside of the Apple Store on the 3rd Street Promenade the other night.
57:15 – Hold off on calling Jah’s cell phone for now. We’re having some financial/technical/Occupy Hobart issues. “It’s very hard to charge a phone when you’re living in a tent,” says Jah.
4:00 – Seth reminds everyone to check the batteries on their smoke alarms. People have been telling Jah to tell Seth that because they know this is the time of year when he brings it up. Seth also reminds people to check their carbon monoxide detectors so people don’t kill each other like Jonathan and Seth did in Episode 089.
13:23 – UYD will be having a live show in Seattle in January 2012 on Friday the 13th at the Neptune Theatre in the University district. It’s an all-ages show and there will be a bar with ID. You can get tickets by using the click-through on the UYD website or by visiting stgpresents.org.
19:32 – Seth says his excitement about the UYD animation was slightly premature. It’s being extended and worked out by Jeff and Roy and will be on the website eventually.
1:11:58 – Jah has a short thing to read from a friend of the show. Any time he sends him something, it piques J-dawg’s interest: “The most important things are other people and significant experiences. Of the latter we have spoken. There are significant people in our lives, or there are people who become significant as soon as we feel the strong necessity to deal with ourselves. They are not necessarily those who we or others suppose to be significant at first sight. We touch one another differently, affect one another in quite different ways. Two people may be useful to one another, or quite useless. Or quite useless in this recurrence. It is not a matter of propinquity, but a position in psychological space. From the standpoint of the re-entry of the light, our relationships to certain people begin to have a new and quite peculiar value – one that cannot ever be given by the notion of passing time. We meet again, thus our relationships always lie ahead of us. This is the chief change of standpoint that is necessary to make for otherwise signficiant elements in our lives will not be understood. If we are blind to significant elements and do not value or understand them, they remain inactive in the light, but if we see them in a special light, they become active. It will give inner attention to them, inner feeling, inner thought in a way impossible when we are gripped by the illusion of passing time. Conscience will begin or consciousness in time. These active points lying in the light are to be thought of as capable as spreading their influences in either direction in the recurrences of light, i.e. backwards and forwards, obliterating useless parts of light by growing into them. By useless parts, I mean accidental circumstances, contacts and phases in the light that have no real significance or only a harmful one. We must form the picture of the light as a growth, transverse to time and capable of growing not merely in one part but in many parts, i.e. we must get rid of the idea that light only grows from the present.”
16:44 - UYD is doing two live shows - Friday, Jan. 13, 2012 at 8 p.m. at the Neptune Theater in Seattle (stgpresents.org) and Thursday, Feb. 2, 2012 at 8 p.m. Largo at the Coronet Theater (largo-la.com).
26:51 - Jah asks if you're supposed to tip your mailman on Christmas. His understanding was you're supposed to tip mailmen, milk men and garbagemen.
1:11:25 – There was an issue with the UYD website this week. It was shut down, and when it went back up, everything was lost. Somehow it got recovered. During the time it was gone forever, Jah found out that the wiki was still backed up and archived and all of Jeff’s show notes were backed up. Jah was blown away by the reminder of the fact that the people who keep it going are crazy. He gets trippy with it being Thanksgiving and gives thanks to all.
4:52 – Jah says Episode 300 should be the introduction of the third entity on the show, which is the zany voice guy.
2:08 – This is an entire new threshold when you leap over the event horizon.
1:02:26 – Jah is maxed out with 5,000 friends on Facebook. He can still receive friend requests but can’t accept them. However, people can subscribe and follow his page without being his friend – there is no limit to how many people can do that.
3:14 – The holidays can be depressing. UYD got a lot of voicemails to this effect.
25:55 – Jah gives us an epic “Every Kiss Begins With Kay.”
1:00:32 – Jah apologizes for all the website troubles.
1:00:46 – UYD put up a bunch of videos on its YouTube channel (youtube.com/uhhyeahdude), featuring a bunch of cut-up segments from live shows.
2:33 – This episode was originally recorded on Sunday, June 5, 2011, and was hosted by Marcia and Seth Romatelli. This is Marcia’s third episode to co-host.
19:46 – Marcia wants to know when tonic changed to soda. She used to call coke and pepsi “tonic.” Dungarees are now called jeans and pocketbooks are now called purses. Grinders are now called subs.
4:29 – These are your final days to purchase tickets for the UYD show in Seattle (1/13 at the Neptune Theater)
0:57 – A raucous Seattle crowd greets Jah and Seth
1:19:12 – Jah gives in to popular demand and shows the crowd his tattoo.
1:27:06 – Seth pulls out some mailbox money from being a famous actor on Crossroads. He’s got the $8 check to prove that he worked with Britney Spears.
2:42 – Jah and Seth thank everyone who came to join them last week up in Seattle.
1:27 – A Largo crowd greets Jonathan and Seth. Jah and Seth give props to the animations that played before the show, brought to us by 55inch, pu and Landfill Bill.
37:40 – Seth’s future adopted black grandson, Jeff, is mentioned.
1:04:22 – Jah is nervous about Seth’s mic being too low in volume so he hopes it was captured effectively. He wonders if he has a malfunctioning microphone.
2:11 – In honor of this being Episode 311, Jonathan and Seth sing some 311 rap-rock riffs
8:10 – Since it’s Jah’s brother Ben’s birthday month, he wants to reveal his middle name. Jah is worried that could raise an identity theft issue. Seth says it’s a crazy middle name and maybe the best one ever. Seth’s going to table this issue for now.
15:27 – Jah sensed a little audio earthquake. He hates to think that he’s so cheap that he didn’t bring another mic and cable but he actually didn’t have one. He’ll have to get Seth a new one.
1:02:05 – Seth’s mic begins to crackle pretty bad so Jah calls him over to check it out
3:17 – Seth wonders what’s happening to 2012. They’re working on the Christmas Creep almost.
38:41 – Seth’s Clips Volume 13 is up on UhhYeahDude.com.
57:33 – Seth wonders what the Räelians are up to. They were supposedly going to clone a baby (Episode 048, 38:03).
1:08:45 – Jah has two very short jokes he wants to tell: 1) How do you know if someone is vegan? Don’t worry, they’ll fuckin’ tell you; and 2) What’s the difference between three dicks and a joke? Your mom can’t take a joke.
0:27 – Seth says they are closely monitoring tech right now. Jah has determined that there were no microphone or cable problems – it was definitely a digital issue, and maybe it’s rectified. Seth says the name of their new podcast is “Digital Issues.”
1:04:59 – There is new merch up for sale on the website – finally, as well as Volume 13 of Seth’s Clips.
3:01 – Jonathan reveals that he doesn’t like being called “Jah,” a nickname that he gave himself. He says that as flattering as it is to have a nickname, he doesn’t feel comfortable with it.
8:46 – Seth wonders if they can make deductions for doing their podcast. Jah thinks they should be able to for media-related expenses.
14:15 – Jonathan wonders if the phone in Seth’s apartment is going to continue ringing. It does.
42:45 – Jonathan tells a joke: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face.
59:40 – Seth and Jonathan wonder if they’re going to get Kony. Seth can’t bring himself ot watch it because he keeps watching videos of dudes falling down escalators and dying laughing.
1:03:03 – Police sirens begin blaring outside of Seth’s apartment.
2:51 – Jonathan sings The Backstreet Boys’ “I Want it That Way.”
4:28 – Being that it’s Episode 316, Seth reads a biblical verse from Jonathan (John) 3:16 – “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”
7:13 – Seth has already looked at his microphone’s on/off switch four times since the show started.
3:02 – Jonathan wishes his brother Ben a happy birthday.
3:07 – Jonathan wants to switch seats while recording this show. Seth will not allow him to do it because it will throw him off.
19:19 – Seth thanks the AV Club for plugging UYD in their weekly podcast review called “PodMass.”
10:09 – This episode is dedicated to Bernie Mac and Cedric the Entertainer.
1:07:38 – Seth wonders if there’s been a world record established for longest podcast. If it was only 2 hours he would want to beat it.
3:31 – A new Seth’s Clips, Vol. 14, is up on the UYD website.
11:19 – Jonathan thinks Edible Arrangements are so goofy, but they are so good.
34:31 – Jonathan said that 867-5309 works for almost any club card because almost every person has filled one out with that dummy number. Other people put 123-4567.
1:09:48 – Seth found out that the world-record longest podcast was 70 hours, and both he and Jonathan think that’s cruel to do to people. Jonathan would rather shoot himself in the face than be forced to listen to that.
5:41 – Jonathan asks Seth a question about Transformers that he doesn’t understand. He realizes that they transform between cars and robots but he wonders if they’re aliens that took that form when they came to Earth.