View This Week In Scientology
25:03 – In reference to Jason Lee’s daughter’s name, Pilot Inspector, Jah says: “Fuck that bullshit, that fuckin’ SciTi bullshit.”
7:58 – The second coming of L. Ron Hubbard is dropping on Hollywood with the upcoming birth of Tom Cruise’s child. Jah thinks it’s going to be traumatic growing up being a child in the creepiest cult/tax break/religion/Hollywood superpower.
21:36 – L. Ron Hubbard: “What you’re doing is creating an island of friendliness, indecency in the sea of a violent world. You do it by using policy and tech that took half a century to find and develop. You know, sometimes it’s tough going. Well it’s a tough world. That’s one makes our org so valuable. Others talk about a better world; we’re making one. What I’ve just told you is the winning way to do it. So don’t regard it lightly. We’re the only chance man has. And that is why above all else we must create these org islands. Project Clear Florida.”
36:34 – The Church of Scientology will attempt to spread its “Ignite Your Potential” message through racing in the NASCAR circuit, supporting a driver in his Ford Taurus at the Irwindale Speedway this summer.
17:16 – Shifting slightly off This Week in Scientology, Seth gives us This Week in Kabbalah, courtesy of Britney Spears: “I do believe that Kabbalah has codes to the world and all that.”
12:46 – The Lake Elsinore Storm, Class A minor league affiliate of the San Diego Padres, planned a Salute to Tom Cruise during their California League Baseball Game. They will give away a bobblehead (really a bobblecouch, depicting him jumping on Oprah’s couch). They will have a silent inning in lieu of a silent birth, during which no players will be introduced by their names, numbers or any songs – and no talking will be permitted. Seth: “This is This Week In Scientology, This Week in Religion, This Week in Kaballah, This Week in America and This Week in Tom Cruise.” Other planned activities in between innings include a couch-jumping contest, they’re having a Scientology information sign-up booth, they will be doing e-meter readings and will have a retrospective of his movie career. Their opponents are the High Desert Mavericks – no doubt in honor of Cruise’s character in Top Gun.
14:41 – A Florida man is trying to make a documentary on the ill effects of scientology, but he has been arrested for sex crimes. Scientologists from the Ministry of Information Office got some mug shots and plastered thousands of them all over Clearwater to try and take him down.
45:13 – Jah references Will Smith beating his son, Jaden, with a Book of Dianetics
57:20 – Seth says UYD does it for the Scientologists, but Jah isn’t so sure
16:58 – The Council of Citizens of Human Rights Building, an organization started by Scientology to expose psychiatry, includes a museum that Seth decided to tour one day. He’s fearful that the SciTi employees are onto him after he signed in as “professional podcaster.”
22:23 – Jah explains there was an organization in LA in the 1980s called The Center of Cult Awareness, which sparked up in the wave of new religions. It was a group dedicated to informing people of what they could do if a friend or loved one got involved in a cult or group. One of the groups they were very opposed to was scientologists. Two people came and applied for a job there, and under “Religion” they put “Scientologists.” They were denied employment there, and used the applications to sue the company. In getting sued, the company went bankrupt, Scientology bought the company and kept it going, so now when you call the Center for Cult Awareness you’re speaking to Scientologists.
51:23 – Mitt Romney, when asked what his favorite novel is: “Umm, there’s this book called Battlefield Earth by L. Ron Hubbard.”
21:31 – Tom Cruise is a “champion” for Scientology, according to Parade.
45:50 – Jah refers to Will Smith as a Christian/SciTi weirdo
44:29 – Nancy Cartwright, the voice of Bart Simpson, was presented with the Patron Laureate Award from the Church of Scientology. She has donated $10 million to the cult.
35:15 – Jonathan and Seth rip Tom Cruise and his birthday video that’s all over the internet, where he’s dancing around with his SciTi buddies and singing “Old Time Rock and Roll”
1:00:28 – Seth asks Jah some scientology auditing questions: Have you ever killed the wrong person?; Have you ever made love to a dead body?; Have you ever exterminated a species?; Have you given robots a bad name?; Have you ever smothered a baby?; Have you ever zapped anyone?; Have you ever gone crazy?; and finally, Have you ever made a planet radioactive?
52:53 – Jah recalls being left in a dirty hellpit of a house full of filthy white, dirty, East-side L.A. SciTi kids for the worst daycare experience ever.
30:56 – Jah just learned about this story today: a crazy ex-SciTi dude, Mario Majorski – who was a UCLA student in the early 90s who sued his teacher that claimed Sci-Ti was a cult – stormed the Church of Scientology Celebrity Centre in LA with samurai swords in both hands at noon on a Sunday. The security guards shot and killed him as he approached.
49:32 – Nancy Cartwright, the voice of Bart Simpson, did a robocalling for a scientology event in perfect Bart voice: “What’s happening man? This is Bart Simpson. Just kidding. It’s Nancy Cartwright. Don’t hang up. I’m now auditing on new OTVII and I’m speaking at the Flag World event at Hollywood and Highland. It’s gonna be a blast man, and you can share my wins as an auditor. All this at Flag, the mecca of technical perfection. I hope you can make it man. See you later.” It then closes with a classic Bart Simpson cackle.
56:36 – Nancy Cartwright gave $11 million to the Church of Scientology last year
36:37 – Jah bought a record today called Battlefield Earth: The Record. He found it at Record Surplus. The lyrics are by L. Ron Hubbard
8:25 – Seth wonders what would happen if a SciTi crashed the National Bible Bee.
12:54 – New commercials have been running in L.A.: “It’s life, and it’s yours,” for Scientology.org
13:17 – Wikipedia has blocked all contributions from computers at the Church of Scientology Los Angeles headquarters to stop users there from repeatedly revising articles to reflect a pro-Scientology viewpoint.
13:35 – Deadspin, a sports blog, was asking why there are no athlete Scientologists. They found a Sports Illustrated from 1971 featuring San Francisco 49ers quarterback John Brody, who was a practicing Scientologist. The writer referring to it calls it a “California religion.” A quote from Brody in the article: “Early last season my arm was bothering me. Ever since I broke it in 1963 it hasn’t been completely right. A friend of mine suggested I take a crack at Scientology, just to see if I couldn’t clear it up. Maybe it was psychosomatic, a service facsimile that I called up from the past to justify my failure. Well, I know it’s hard to believe, but after just two hour-long sessions my arm got better and it’s been right ever since. I’m just a step short of clear. For the first four months of my pre-clear I didn’t say a word to my wife or kids.”
19:58 – Seth brings up the Scientology commercial he referenced (Episode 170, 12:54). The second version of the commercial is called “The Search,” which tells us that “we’re all on a quest for that unexplainable emptiness that can only be filled by one thing – the truth.” There’s also “You.” “You are hope. You are a spirit that will never die. You will rise again.” According to Seth, the commercials are appearing on national television, during afternoon cable news programs.
18:41 – Seth compares Caterina Fake’s new search engine to Scientology auditing.
16:21 – Seth talks about a video he watched of a guy interviewing a Scientologist and taking him to task about David Miscavich beating his employees. The SciTi laughed and said he didn’t have to explain himself to him, and kept saying “Your whole track is stuck,” and “You have no case. It’s checkwork,” “Obviously you need to go do a locational on yourself,” “destimulate your incident,” etc.
57:58 – Jah is down with a religion that allows designer jeans to be worn – it’s called Scientology
35:07 – LRAD Hubbard created the Long Range Acoustic Device
15:47 – Seth and Jonathan fast-forwarded footage of the Hollywood Christmas Parade to try to see the Scientology float while wondering who they would put on the float. They cloaked it by putting Martin Cove from Karate Kid on a Golden Age float presented by L. Ron Hubbard.
50:19 – The Church of Scientology ran its 200 question, free personality test in The Tennesseean, Nashville’s newspaper. It did not go over very well. The nearby headquarters for the Southern Baptist Convention were not pleased. Some of the questions included, “Are you curious about yourself?” … “Is your life a constant struggle for survival?” … “Do you often sit and think about death?” … “Do you sleep well?” … and “Do you sometimes feel your age is against you?”
6:58 – Tom Cruise will star in Mission: Impossible 4, to be released May 30, 2011.
21:00 – Anderson Cooper did a five-part series on Anderson Cooper 360 called “Scientology: A History of Violence.” It talks about David Miscavige getting up and whacking people across the face in meetings. It mentions what SciTis call “Suppressives,” former SciTi members who are not down with the church. Cooper interviewed the suppressives’ ex-wives, who are still SciTis and mad. Their resounding quote was “I know every inch of his body!”
58:09 – Jah says he wants to go to a religion where the women are really hot. Seth informs him that that religion is Scientology and then Jah backtracks.