April 22nd 2014
Early morning A.M. sesh, a Comedic Coast To Coast, Violin Taste Tests, taking your apple game to the next level, a season of music festivals, Uncle Kid and The Joe C Hologram, USA Today Snapshots, a box of socks, UYD's Junkfood of The Week, lizard heads don't hurt, McBusiness Expenses, Ask Jonathan, freak deers, The International Pizza Expo, writing your own obit, grandpa's tribute cookies, malevolent conspiracy theories, National Facial Protection Month, drug addicted doctors, the over involvement of cell phone use in day-to-day activities, National Prescription Drug Take-Back Day, August 29th 2021, don't phone it in when I'm stalking you. and restocking baby soft tees.
UYD: 9 out of 10 things suck.
April 10th 2014
Lil' Compton, National Volunteer Month, Battlefield 4 User Names, frustrating video games, Easter 420, preparing for Earth Day, jumping on the wagon, USA Today Snapshots, Country Music's Best New Artist of the Year, Las Vegas gets all your money, $10 on 18, making eye contact with your cereal box, define your divine feminine, what did the Quaids do to Seth?, UYD's Junk Food of the Week, Josh Elliot: Intolerant Hate-monger, David Strathairn and Michael Strahan, throwing away school lunches, rogue volunteers, The Breakfast Burrito Byway, The John Hancock Tilting Observatory, Dr. Zevia, reconstructing mind faces, 5 years from Blade Runner, The Playboy Advisor, buds with bennies, piss and chlorine don't mix, hyena wolf-dogs, all new UYD cartoon, and #staystrongmyking .
April 7th 2014
One of the most enduring performers in show business, Mickey Rooney died Sunday at the age of 93. He made his debut on the vaudeville stage in 1922 as a toddler and toured into his late 80s in a two-person stage show with Jan Chamberlin, his eighth wife. They were married in 1978 and later separated.
Jokes about his propensity to walk down the aisle were once a staple of pop culture. Even Rooney told them. "My marriage license reads, 'To whom it may concern,'" he chortled to The Times in 1981. The first and most famous of his wives was actress Ava Gardner, whom he married in 1942.
When the 90-year-old Rooney testified before Congress in 2011 about elder abuse, the actor said he spoke from personal experience. A family member who took and misused Rooney's money had left him powerless, he said.
"I felt trapped, scared, used and frustrated," Rooney told a Senate committee. "When a man feels helpless, it's terrible."
In the mid-1970s, Rooney claimed that he found Christianity after a mysterious busboy leaned over in a Lake Tahoe coffee shop and whispered, "Jesus loves you."
At one point, Rooney made $500 a night circulating at private parties pretending to be a friend of the host. Rooney turned to alcohol and played the horses, The Times reported in 1999. He filed for bankruptcy again in 1996.
Rooney proudly declared that he followed W.H. Auden's counsel: "Thou shalt not live within thy means."
Soon after his death, his family began feuding over his burial site leading to his body going unclaimed and remaining at the mortuary of Forest Lawn Cemetery.
Source
March 27th 2014
Beggars can't be choosers, a new Faces of Meth, soldiers understand what's legal, Sanjay keeps it real, the world's craziest water slide, Seth rides The Mummy, National STD Awareness Month, The Great New Orleans 1830 Rash Outbreak, being Coachella-ready with your beach body, hetero-friendly pool parties, USA Today Snapshots, Ask Jonathan, unattributed quotes, UYD Junk Food of the Week, calling together your star-family, Sikh Life, digging up Native American bones, Wall Street won, jumping the gun on April Fool's, living perpetually in the middle school principal's office, The Cub's team psychologist, coaches in uniform, the first 4D Movie Theater in the US, predictions on the internet, JPL@AOL.com, the problem with anthropomorphic animals, saying "hey" on the social media sites, you need multiple Jeff's, and don't spread yourself to thin but don't rest on your laurels.
March 24th 2014
A little quiet in the studio, Vanessa Hudgens prepares for Coachella, Amir prepares for South American heat, Rivers Romo, The Overprotected Kid, 30,000 year old viruses, Earth Coughs, $21,600,000,000 worth of pet food, a drastic decline in bank robberies, USA Today Snapshots, recreating Gravity on an airplane, UYD's Junk Food of the Week, racist genetics, new travel tech, heavy in the toiletry department, cactus laser face-melters, Jonathan visits Doug Stanhope, donating Prom dresses, Purity Balls, no more free bread, Friends With Better Lives, getting your Delfino's in a row, one and done for Breaking Boston, The Half-Lifetime Achievement Award for Mark Wahlberg, seeing Johnny Drama live, National Welding Month, Rent-A-Pussy, a rise in home births, Seth as a young James Woods / John Larroquette / Errol Flynn, relaxing the Target dress code, and becoming poor makes you unhappy forever.
March 8th 2014
Live from The 9:30 Club in Washington DC, 50 states and a dope ass district, new fitness tech, Weed / Bulls / Bowling Balls, International Women's Day, USA Today Snapshots, Jonathan's outdoor painting class, new food mashups for 2014, USA has always had bananas, suicide text lines, Hip Hop and Country, Ask Jonathan, banning the D, 96 Gallon Super Cans, 40 Years of Kings Dominion, violent felons roaming undetected, The Annual Madness of Daylight Savings, Dr. Huxtable drugs women, talking shit about Seinfeld, National Cheerleading Safety Month, The High School Party Police, talking about RomComs can save your marriage, baby boys prefer girly toys over stoves, Malibu Vagina Barbie, stressful placentas, and UYD rebirthed.
UYD: Humans and dolls. Cars and stoves.
March 7th 2014
Up close and personal from The World Cafe Live in Philadelphia, the internet is for cats / bots / Albanian teens, nefarious nudes, Rocky: The Musical, silent thermometers, broken baby wrists, local Craigslist ads, frat-tantric, the problems with antacids, Ask Jonathan, walking in on your parents multiple times, women's preferences for mates whilst ovulating, Weed / Bulls / Mind's Eye, the most religious states, Hip Hop and Country, the relationships of texting, the ethics of experiments, females have better brains, shopping cart injuries, Floridian pharmacies, eating in NY, USA Today Snapshots, trapping systems for effective hog control, National Credit Education Month, Global Warming crime sprees, The National Day of Unplugging, Jonathan's vow of silence, and UYD Merch is back and better than ever.
March 6th 2014
Live in 3D from The Gramercy Theatre in New York, missing the LA Marathon, The Well Being Index, Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2, touching men's boxer shorts, the ultimate reward, LIB Dreams, Bands / Bulls / Mind's Eye, Scam of the Year, The Playboy Advisor, Breaking Boston, Hip Hop and Country, more crazy answers on Hollywood Game Night, The Upskirt Sting, no filming COPS in New Mexico, NY skin infections, all the greats us guitar tuning apps, sexist Wi-Fi grills, high-tech toothbrushes, circling back to Miley, Jonathan VS The AccuPop Microwave, no more bathtubs, National Caffeine Awareness Month, saving your television from a burning building, three parent babies, 120,000 letters destroyed, bouncing a check to George, who's eligible for bereavement fares, learning how to huff in school, USA Today Snapshots, and some light snake handling.
February 27th 2014
Live at Largo in Los Angeles, National Umbrella Month, the dirt of Verde Valley, converting students from stoners to trippers, USA Today Snapshots, Minnie Driver in Parade Magazine, the continuing career of David Walton, being too old to date older women, the best jobs for 2014, Adultropology, the top Zodiac signs for cheaters, a daily dirty purge, sticking to your rigid schedge, returning to Craigslist, "You had me at 'clouds'", a twink with attitude, online dating jargon, Shamrock Shake concentrate, Jonathan goes to McDonalds, The Playboy Advisor, Chinese Product Recalls, sleeping Seth, Jonathan hits the pavement, Weed/Bowling Ball/Mind's Eye, Casket Kiosks, crowd funded science, beautiful (but sad) music, cray cray for Liam Neeson, stinky little boy feet, Jonathan goes to Dominos, Seth tries to get guacamole, spiking Whole Foods soups, on-the-go legal apps, Jonathan: The Notary, eating Cinnabon air, 8 years of podcasting breaks the internet, and preparing for UYD's east coast road trip,
February 21st 2014
The nation is my studio, Seinfeld still can't figure out cellphones, USA Today Snapshots, The Top Selling Vehicles, VO Battles, spanking children in schools, keeping up on your app game, anonymous cutting, plotting out meals, $100 fine for vehicular manslaughter, Senator Grandma, preparing for Barb Wire, the first male students of Chatham University, Unmanned Vehicle University, Jonathan goes to the pawn shop, Ask Jonathan, CTV: Cute Trim and Vivacious, The Reminiscence Bump, Bi-bi Annual Steve Brule, The Dinah, viewing The White Party from a distance, National "An Affair To Remember" Month, no one has seen RoboCop, packs of wild Chihuahuas, being lonely will kill you, hospital bats, World Rabies Day, melting the snow for UYD on the east coast, and snatching up hot domain names.
February 13th 2014
Palpable energy, "I fucking murdered Havasu!", traveling abroad for Spring Break, bigger tits for the Morton Salt Girl, The Death Master File, poaching weird shit off of dead relatives, math nerd Kelly Norton's Most Pleasant Places To Live, no more Polaroiding outfits, The Cuddle Crew, The Kidnap Crew, Operation: Be Mine, Channel Chi-Mo, National Nutrition Month, you make it - we eat it, Cart Life and other alternative games, Grand Theft Rapist, Nightlight Toilets and Pee Glory Holes, USA Today Snapshots, The Top pays, Ask Jonathan, "What's your experience with MILFs?", the stress levels of today's teens, PillCam, The Colonoscopy Narc, depriving shit to pop off the senses, you're not allowed to say San Fran, and transitioning into the 9th year.
February 6th 2014
Speech classes at Emerson College, more amazing answers on Hollywood Game Night, The Kitten Bowl, USA Today Snapshots, Marky LaBeouf and his funky Transformers, sweet dog/bad cop, too weak to laugh, uyd.sexy.guru.us.us , The NAMM Show, Ask Jonathan, Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Day, turquoise makes people horny, Qua Water, Blood Avocados, hot water waste, taping your garbage to the walls, gays on steroids, gynecologists for men, The New Porn Capital of the World, back to school with Franco, drug related injuries on the rise, the Europe of the Northeast, The Magic Man, and Happy 8 Years of UYD.
February 1st 2014
High frequencies dying in your ear, a blessing for the internet, a tranny and Dan Fielding, USA Today Snapshots, photoshopping Rasta belts, you can't burn the internet, National Pet Dental Health Month, chocolate toothpaste, firefighters with firearms, semi-automatic non-lethal taser rifles, Class Action Rebates, Potato Chip Millionaires, lobster chips, pesto chipotle, Healthy Pharms in Haverhill, amazing answers on Hollywood Game Night, I'm a Bowl Man, 12 year olds with guns, the cars that sexy people drive, defensive acceleration, banning mystics and soothsayers, The Male Psychic Hotline, a shortage of saline bags, Farmer's Fridge, virtual hotel keys, Ask Jonathan, shooting guns and eating popcorn, a handful of tickets still left for select UYD shows, and turning the corner on Fitty,
January 23rd 2014
Formula 404, The Eagles close out the re-opening of The Forum, unlocking your life force with reflexology, we need more readings and healings, USA Today Snapshots, taking dick-pics of your balls, The Best Screenplays of The Hollywood Blacklist, Jonathan watches New Jack City, anti-snooze movies, National Black History Month, remembering Flo-Jo, 12-1/2 years to build The One World Trade Center, The Silverado Hate Crime, Meth Lab Cleanup LLC, John Wayne did it right here, Jelly Belly Beer, saying goodbye to Bushwacker, the Cody's of PBR, digitally removed condoms, The White Girl Twerk Cypher, studying the social skills of cocaine addicts, The 85 Richest People in the World, putting an end to conjugal visits, UYD Prison Totes, sex offender notifications on Facebook, Ask Jonathan, The Domestic Health Department, tickets are still available for UYD Live, TSA/USPS loves to steal, medical research cock fighting, and using UYD for your one prison call.
January 18th 2014
Rainbow crosswalks, WeHo for straights, the final days of Leno, not that brown recluse, USA Today Snapshots, The Alcoholic Parent's Podcast, Sleep IQ Technology, partying down south, Racist Broadway, wart removal fires, DH in HD, US Ginseng, National Braille Literacy Month, Yakima Washington doesn't keep it real, mixing up your children's names, is Taylor Kinney a dumb hunk?, cheating on your Intercontinental Ballistic Missile Tests, thank you for your honorability, SoCal Theme Park Injuries, going whale watching on your birthday, 23 lightning deaths, Ask Jonathan, tickets going fast for UYD Live, and passing along your 401k.
